Something Similar
by moon-soon
Summary: An AU what if story. What if Carlos and Kendall didn't know Logan and James until they became big time rush. Are relationships different? Will things be different? Answer: absolutely! Kendall/Carlos and James/Logan friendships and eventual BTR friendships I AM UPDATING AGAIN!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Okay the premise here is that the boys are not all friends (instead being two groups of two) brought together in the more traditional way of making boy bands (shoving strangers together.) I thought it'd be kind of cool to see what these characters would be like if they grew up with only half of their core friendship (it seriously bugs me in fanfics that they're all perfectly the same personality and experience wise- even if they only all met in high school or whatever.) Anyway so here's the first chapter!**

Kendall kicked the side of the cell; the bars wobbled as expected, but didn't fall into a heap of ninja poles (which he could use to escape with) like he hoped they would. "They didn't turn into ninja poles" he told Carlos mournfully, Carlos looked up from where he was clinking a mug across the bars. "Of course not, ninjas use swords and ninja stars and stuff not poles," he rubbed the mug on his chin thoughtfully "hey Kendall- do you think we could get some ninja stars…"

"Where would we even get ninja stars- in fact where did you get that mug?" Carlos shrugged, "I left it in here from last time dad made us stay over night… it's my prison mug!" Kendall nodded, that mug did look vaguely familiar "why does your dad keep putting us in here?" Kendall cried, Carlos shrugged "Papi says he's the only thing between us and a real hard sentence… I think he's hoping we'll think about what we did wrong. Or at least never tamper with all the hair dye bottle's a Joe's convenience store again."

"I regret nothing," Kendall told him proudly "did you see Mr Wither's face when he realised his hair was blue instead of black… and all those ladies from my mum's book club." Carlos was laughing again (not that they had ever really stopped laughing since they had pulled the prank two days ago.)

Mr Garcia walked into view and the boys immediately ceased their giggling. "Boys" he said sternly, Mr Garcia was kind of a wet blanket and used phases 'out of control' and 'bad influence on each other' a lot… but he probably was the only thing standing between Carlos, Kendall and Juvenile hall. So Kendall tried really hard not to mess up too badly when he was around.

"Mr Garcia" Kendall sprang up, "I believe this is false imprisonment- I could sue!" Mr Garcia brandished a piece of paper "well I believe this is a signed statememt by your mother saying I could hold you here over night as many times as it takes Kendall" Kendall sank back down. That signed piece of betrayal was the bane of his existence, and ensured he spent a night in jail a month.

"You have a visitor" he sighed, Carlos perked up "we get visitors?" Mr Garcia smirked in a very worrying way "you get to see this visitor." A perky blond ducked out from behind Mr Garcia "hey guys!" she chirped, "AHH!" they both screamed in surprise backing away from the bars and subsequently their friend/mortal enemy Jenny Tinkler.

"J-J-J-Jenny" Carlos stuttered, "What are you doing here?" she smiled brightly at them, "Mr Garcia is giving me a reward!" Carlos shot his father a betrayed look "yup!" oblivious to the boys mixed feelings of annoyance and betrayal "I haven't destroyed a building in two months- Mr Garcia says it's a record and he bought me an ice-cream!" she brandished a rainbow ice cream, and Carlos sulked, he wanted an ice cream.

"What are you doing visiting us Jenny?" Kendall asked watching Mr Garcia leave- well slowly back out of the room with a grin on his face. "We're kind of in the middle of our plan to make ninja stars." Carlos face lit up "we are?" Kendall shrugged "well yeah- I was going to fill you in…"

She sat down on the floor, "you guys are my best friends," she told them sincerely, they both winced; Jenny had a new best friend every week. The old ones would be in hospital for multiple injuries. "Oh is it that time of year again?" Kendall laughed uneasily; the last time they had been Jenny's best friends hadn't seem that long ago- or was that just because the burns had only just finally healed?

"Mr Garcia said he would let you out if you hung out with me," she told them, taking a long lick of her ice cream- Carlos' eyes followed it hungrily. Kendall considered his options- which one in the long run would require more therapy? An afternoon with Jenny or a night in jail? It was a tough call…

Kendall sighed, "What did you have in mind?" Jenny jumped up and down excitedly loosing her ice cream, which passed through the bars and hit Carlos in the eyes. "AHH!" he screamed "IT BURNS!" Kendall ignored his friend, it was his own fault for trying to 'mind magic' Jenny's ice cream over to him. "There is this big time producer coming today and I want to audition," she told him.

Carlos ran blindly around the cell and ran into the wall, he was still largely ignored. "What big time producer?" Kendall asked suspiciously "Gustavo Rocque - he made all these boy bands in the nineties and his going to make me a star!" She told him intensely, "can you become a star is Minnesota?" Kendall asked curiously, "no silly I'd have to move to California."

Move to California.

Move to California.

MOVE TO CALIFORNIA!

"Carlos stop being unconscious- we're going to make Jenny a star!"

******BTR******

"My life is over" James moans and flops down on the bad, "no it's not," Logan tells him sternly "also kindly get off my legs please." James raises his torso for a moment to let his friend wiggle his legs free, "That is insanity Loges- My life IS over, I shall never be happy again!" Logan sighed, putting down his book and readjusted his glasses.

"You're taking this whole thing entirely too much to heart James" he patted the pretty boy's hair lightly, "Too much to heart?" James repeated in outrage shooting up and pointing at his friend in a accusing manner "a music producer- no 'THE' music producer called me a no talent hack and you think I'm taking it too much to heart!" Logan jumped back "Jeez! Calm down James."

"Calm down?" he screeched "yes I just said that, why are you repeating everything I say?" James pouted and crossed his arms "only because everything you say is so stupid that I need to repeat it just to be sure my genius friend is actually aware of how he sounds!" he flops back on the bed, this time sure to lie over Logan's legs just to annoy him.

"Look is wasn't some music producer- it was Gustavo Rocque, the guy hasn't had a hit in nine years- so he barely even counts" Logan didn't bother trying to break free this time, instead settling on tickling James feet so the boy would move away. "He's a legend Loges!"

"Yeah he was, for Boy Quake! Boys in the attic and all that other crap from the nineties, look the guy isn't even looking for talent; he said he was looking for a block of wood." Logan told him, James groaned "but I wanted to be that block of wood, I'd be an awesome block of wood."

"No you wouldn't, look- he's looking for a no one to turn into a someone, problem is you're already a someone. A great someone! And after high school you'll move to LA find an agent and make it big time- as yourself not as someone's singing, dancing robot."

"But after high school is so far away" James whined but didn't look nearly as upset anymore, "you're right, it is. Two more whole years you get to spend with me before you go off and become rich and famous" James shot up. "If… If I had been the singing block of wood he wanted… I would have had to leave you here right?"

"Well yes James, I'm not going to fit into your carry on" Logan laughed; James gave him an assessing look. "No James no matter how small you think I am, I couldn't fit into your carry on!" James gave him a mock offended look, "that's not what I was thinking!" Logan snorted, "no- you were wondering if I would fit in a drum kit case!"

James scowled "get out of my head!" he pushed his friend "why? It's so roomy up there" James tackled Logan off the bed, and they struggled for a few moments "watch it for my glasses!" Logan yelped, "Then get off my hair!" James snipped back.

They got up "we're not very good at the manly tussle thing are we?" Logan laughed straightening his button down "no I suppose not," James sighed, "I might care too much for your well being…"

Logan's face breaks out into a smile, "I appreciate that" James smiles too, "oh look there's that smile!" Logan coos and James shoves him, "you feel better?"

"I guess… I mean yeah, what kind of career could have managed by guy like Gustavo Rocque anyway?"

******BTR******

The place where the auditions were being held at had all the signs that a lot of people had been crowded in there recently. There were empty fast food wrappers everywhere and the carpet looked especially worn- as if people had been standing in one place four hours at a time.

Despite this- it was pretty much deserted. It was pretty unnerving actually.

"Um Jenny" Kendall says hesitantly "are you sure this is the right place?" Jenny nodded enthusiastically "positive- it's just we've cut it pretty close... I think we would have been here sooner if we hadn't caused that car crash."

Carlos patted her on the back "it's okay Jenny- I mean that man hole came out of nowhere." he gave Kendall a terrified look over her head and Kendall mouthed 'I know!' quite animatedly. Jenny gave Carlos a hug "thanks Carlos" she turned and stretched her arms wide at Kendall "thanks Kendall."

Kendall stopped her with one hand to her head, keeping her at arms length. Then he gingerly patted her on the head "ah- no problem Jenny..." she smiled widely at him, "you guys are the best."

A woman stepped out of the auditorium and looked around wildly, she spotted them and smiled in relief. "You've just made it- name?" Jenny jumped up hitting Kendall in the face with her hand "oh, oh I'm Jenny Tinkler! I want to be a star!"

"Great" the woman told her not sounding a hundred percent sincere, she gave Jenny a number and turned to Carlos "what about you? You ready to be a star?"

Carlos and Kendall laughed impossibly loud "ah no- we're here for moral support or something," Kendall told her. Carlos elbowed him "shut up dude, I could so be a star!" the women nodded and slapped a number on his chest.

"What about you tall, dark and eyebrows? You wanna be famous?" Kendall smirked "of course" he smirked at Carlos who gave him the thumbs up "great" she slapped him with a number "for- for being a hockey player!" he called out to the retreating talent agent.

"I don't think she heard you" Jenny told him thoughtfully as he screwed up his number and scowled. "Aw come on Ken-doll this'll be fun!" Carlos cheered slinging an arm companionably around his shoulder. "Fun" he repeated in a disbelieving tone "what's fun about singing and dancing?"

The women came back out "number 411" she called, Jenny squealed waving her hands and Kendall managed to duck this time; meaning only Carlos got hit on the head. "Ow" he said softly, rubbing his face.

"Sorry" she yelled to him running into the auditorium. The doors shut and a loud clattering sound could be heard. "Aw" Kendall said sadly "they're never gonna pick her now..."

"It's nice you're rooting for her" Carlos beamed "usually you just try and figure out ways to stuff her in a box and mail her to Canada." Kendall grinned "yeah- but you know what's even further than Canada?" Carlos shrugged "Australia?"

"No... well okay yes, but I was talking about California!" Carlos gave Kendall a confused look "is California further from Minnesota than Canada?" Kendall crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow "which one of us passed geography here?"

"Well neither of us" Carlos scratched his head "a D is still a pass Carlitos" Kendall assured him. "And it's a moot point anyway, what's important is if Jenny becomes a star she'll be in California."

"And not here!" Carlos gasped "Kendall! That's so underhanded!" Kendall grinned "thank you and now-"

The doors burst open and three security guards carried a flailing Jenny out. "THAT MAN DOEN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT! I'M A STAR!" she turned to the boys a waved "I called my brother and he's coming to pick me up- so have a good audition!" and then went back to flailing.

"THANK YOU" Carlos called waving until Kendall grabbed his wrist and shook his head.

"412" the battered talent scout called, "dude" Kendall told him, "you don't sing!" Carlos gave him a betrayed look "I COULD sing- I've never tried... Plus if I go to LA and becoming rich and famous I can buy you the Minnesota Wilds!"

Kendall grasped Carlos shoulder "well then by all means- God speed!"

******BTR******

Logan sighed and leaned on his shovel, "why are we doing this?" James shot him a dirty look, "Logan" he said scandalized, "you're supposed to be some kind of genius- we're doing this for money!"

"But yooouuurrrr rich, what do **you** need money for?" Logan whined and kicked the built up snow on Mrs. Goodman's driveway like it had personally offended him.

"Yeah but all that talk about after high school got me thinking..." he shoveled harder. "That I'm gonna be going off to California- something I assume my parents will not want to pay for" he threw the snow enthusiastically with his shovel and managed to hit Logan square in the chest "and then how will we afford to live?"

"I'm sorry 'we'?" Logan asked in annoyance "well yeah you're OBVIOUSLY coming with me!" Logan rolled his eyes "James" he said slowly as if he were talking to an infant "I'm going to be in college- there are no good colleges in California."

"Berkley" James answered immediately "Berkley is a totally acceptable school." Logan gapes "did you... Research this?" James shrugs and blushes "or" he persists "we move to New York first- I start my stage Career and do guest spots on a CW show and you go to Columbia- that's sort of in New York right?"

Logan throws snow at him and James cries in outrage "not the hair you jerk!" Logan laughs "you planned our future out- I've clearly known you too long because I'm not sure whether to be horrified or find it oddly charming."

"I'm always charming" James assured him stepped back to look at the work they had done on the driveway. "Grab me the broom will you?" Logan sighs and starts sweeping, "I'm not giving you the broom James- I fear you'll enact broomy vengeance on me for wrecking your hair."

"I would never," James said innocently before charging at his smaller friend and dumping snow into his shirt. "AH! Foul play! Foul play!" James smirked "let's look to the ref" the turn to the mailbox who seemed to silently rule in James favour. "And he says it good!" James pumps his fists. Logan scowled at the mailbox "that **wasn't** fair!"

Logan looks at James and then the mailbox and then James once more. "Do you think maybe we need more friends?" he sighed, James made an outraged "don't be ridiculous- I'm insanely popular!"

"And yet you spend every weekend hanging out with your nerdy childhood friend..." James glared at the clean driveway "who has been calling you nerdy? Was it Chase McGuire? Because I'll kick his-" Logan grabbed him "calm down James- everybody calls me nerdy I have a near 5.0 average, let's face it- I **am** a giant nerd."

James pouts, "yeah... just I don't want you getting down on being smart- your awesome! And who else would I hang out with? The knuckle heads on the hockey team?" Logan laughed loudly "oh but that would be great- I can imagine you know, skating around- hitting things with sticks!"

"I'll have you know I am a master at field hockey" he assured him "and I would show you... if the weather wasn't so crappy." Logan snorted, "excuses."

"No really" James tells him "yeah, uh huh I'm so sure."

"Do you your back to get up close and personal with some more snow Mitchell!"

******BTR******

The audition had… **not** gone well.

Kendall groaned into his hands, blinking furiously trying to blink away this reality. He looked up; the cops were still behind the grate and Carlos was still vibrating next to him. "Dude! We are SO dead!" Carlos moaned, "Yes you are" the cop-riding shotgun told him gleefully.

"Not cool Joe- your supposed to be my God parent, could you please take a less active amount of glee in my arrest." the man laughed "it's officer Johnson when I'm on duty Carlos" he reprimanded. "Your not arrested boys" the cop that was driving (Officer Vanderson) told them.

"Really?" Kendall asked in relief (one more arrest and he was off to juvie for sure!) the cops both laughed "yeah- Mr. Hollywood seemed pretty pissed but his assistant" officer Johnson cut in "his HOT assistant" the younger officer Vanderson made a face. "You mean that nice young lady who's young enough to be your daughter," he told him sternly "well yeah- but she's NOT my daughter so..."

"Anyway!" Kendall yelled breaking the partners out of their bickering "uhrm right well his assistant promised they wouldn't press charges." Officer Johnson nods "I don't blame you for attacking that douche bag Kendall- I sort of wanted to take a swing at him after what he called Carlos."

Carlos snicker "yes- he defended my honor quite musically... how did you know those 90s songs anyway?" Kendall glared, "my work's PA is permanently stuck on the 90s channel okay! You know this!" the three others just snickered at him " your certainly my hero" Carlos told him " my real ha knight in shining armor."

"See if I ever rescue you from an angry music producer again" he sulked. "Why were you trying out anyway?" officer Johnson asked, the boys shrugged "we were there to support Jenny- she wanted to be a star and that Kelly lady practically forced us to try out."

The two men in the front winced; Jenny Tinkler was the only other 16 year old to spend as much time in the back of a police car as Kendall and Carlos. Only she never got charged for anything... you couldn't very well charge a girl for being accident prone... only have her discreetly tailed by a cop car at all times to minimize the eventual carnage that she created.

"Here we are" officer Johnson announced "Casa-de Knight" Kendall groaned. "We think it's best you stay the night Carlos- we'll ah deal with your dad Carlos." Carlos let out a sigh of relief "thanks Joe, thanks uncle Seymour."

Seymour winked "don't sweat it Carlos... besides officer Johnson here is the one who's going to be breaking the news..." Joe paled and Carlos laughed.

They knocked on the door and Kendall's younger sister opened it, raising her eyebrows in amusement. "Oh muuuumm- no need to call the cops, looks like they found him!"

Mrs. Knight rushed into view "Kendall?" Kendall gave her a rye grin, " hey mum! Ah remember that time I saved you from choking huw that was a close one! Also, I love you!"

Mrs. Knight sighed, "Is he arrested?" the officers grinned, "No mam, he's got off on a warning." Mrs. Knight shook her head "well I guess you might make it seventeen without actual jail time." she sighed, "it's very possible" officer Johnson said brightly, "Now we have to break the news to officer Garcia..."

The officers share a look "donut run?" Seymour asked "donut run" his partner confirmed.

The officers left quickly.

Mrs. Knight ushered them inside, "okay" she turned on them "explain."

"It's all my fault Mama Knight!" Carlos jumped in quickly "it was my audition when Jenny got dragged off the stage by that security guard and Kendall only got into that fight when Mr. Rocque called me good for nothing moron."

Mrs. Knight's face immediately softened, she had always had a soft spot for Kendall's best friend. "Okay then boys- who wants a sandwich?"

"Me!" the boys chorused excitedly, "what!" Katie shrieked jumping out of her hiding place. "That's it?" she crossed her arms angry "your not going to interrogate them, slap them with the hard cheese?" all three cocked their heads "... I... Have no idea what that means but you're not aloud to watch fox anymore!"

Katie pouts angrily and stamps her foot, "aw don't be mad Katie-Kat, you wanna ride?" Carlos leans down; she pretends to be angry for a moment and then relented and let Carlos give her a piggy-back ride to the kitchen.

Carlos explained how Kendall had rescued him on stage (manfully leaving out the part where the stupid producer had made him cry.) Katie laughed, "okay that's kind of funny- how did the song go?"

The doorbell rang and the boys danced over "oh your such a jerk, oh yeah a giant jerk and you look like a jerk and you act like a Jeerr-" the door opened to reveal Mr. Rocque and his assistant "rk?"

******BTR******

James and Logan were mostly passed out on Logan's uncomfortable couch. They had changed out of their wet clothes (Logan's considerably wetter than James' seeing that he had been assaulted with snow) and changed into Pajamas. Logan groaned hugging his worn flannel shirt close to him "is it wrong to be wearing pajamas at four o'clock in the afternoon?"

"If it's wrong I don't want to be right" James tells him, he rolls up his pant leg so he can massage the muscle "ergh! Who knew work would be so much… work!" Logan laughed at him swotting him lazily "it was sort of implied you know, it's right there in the title."

James' phone beeps and Logan quickly snatches it off the coffee table before James can even think of moving. "Who is your secret admirer Jennie? Mellissa? What's-her-name?" James makes a halfhearted grab for the phone, "I'll have you know What's-her-name and I were meant to be" he jokes. Logan isn't smiling, he isn't even chuckling at James antics and that's when he gets a look at what actually is on his phone.

"James" Logan said delicately, sitting up and forcing the taller boy to sit up with him "you said you wouldn't." it was a alert that the 'Gustavo Rocque' had updated his Scutter Butter, Logan's wasn't sure what the appropriate response should be. "It's nothing" James makes another weak attempt for the phone "you know- how obsessive I get, you can't make me quit cold turkey- mmm-cold turkey… hey Logan do you have any…" Logan smacked him "you are horrible at misdirection."

**Rocque****Records **Gustavo Rocque

About to set my new singer on fire!

10 minuets ago

"Well that's slightly psychotic" Logan said lightly "it's a good thing he didn't pick you- I don't think your flame retardant." James chuckles despite having his dreams completely crushed (Gustavo Rocque had found a singer- and it wasn't him. Life officially over) "you retardant" he snickers and Logan pushes him off the couch "ah! Not cool!"

"He found someone" James moaned "someone better" Logan slid down on the ground. "There is no one better than you" he assures his friend, putting his arm around him and pulling him close. "Your biased" James mumbled into Logan's shirt "damn right I am" he grins at the pretty boy "come on- I'll get my laptop and we'll find some truly awful pictures of him from the nineties and make fun of his hair."

"I'd like that."

The sound of the lock of the door sliding open informed Logan that his mum was home. "MUM" he called, she stuck her head in "hey babe- I'm not even here I just needed to pick up some papers!" she waved them in the air, "how was school?"

James raised his eyebrow and Logan elbowed him "it was good- I'm doing well" she beamed at him "that's my boy!" she shoves the papers in her briefcase "do you have money for dinner?" Logan shook his head "good- I left some bills on the fridge, you can just keep whatever's left over." And just like that she was gone again.

"Your mum does realize it's like four o'clock on a Saturday right?" James laughed, Logan elbowed him "hey! Your mum works just as much as mine does!" James rolled his eyes "yeah- but I have a full time maid" Logan bashes him with a pillow, "yes and I'm sure **she** remembers when it's time for you to go to school and when to make you dinner?" James gave him a thoughtful look "nah- you do most of that stuff… maybe YOU'RE my mum?"

Logan hits him with another pillow and goes to the kitchen to avoid any more mother hen jokes, but James follows. "So did she really not give you food money this morning?" Logan shook his head "she gave me a forty but she was in a rush… so I figured she forgot…" James laughed, "You are an evil genius!" Logan picked up the sixty dollars sitting on the fridge "I'm not sure how much she thinks we eat…"

He pockets a twenty and then gives James the rest "put it in your 'LA/New York fund- I'm suddenly having a strong desire to never live here again." James jumps up and down "I knew you cave! Trust me, we were **born** to live in California!"

******BTR******

"You want him to what?" Mrs. Knight asked in surprise "Mr. Rocque would like to take your son out to California for three months and turn him into a mega star."

Kendall laughed "what?" Mr. Rocque fumed "look Kendall" he gestured angrily at the boy "you have anger management issues- some people say I have anger management issues."

"You are just the right kind of block of wood I'm going to set on FIRE!" he yelled, Carlos shuddered "you're going to set Kendall on fire? I'm pretty sure that's a federal offend."

"He means He wants to make Kendall into a pop star sweetie" his assistant explained kindly. Carlos flushed, "oh er right" she patted his hand and quirked an amused smile in his direction.

"SO KENDALL WHAT DO YOU SAY? Want to come with me and millions of dollars an become famous?"

"Ha no."

******BTR******

"Your stupid" Carlos told him, watching Kendall collect shopping trolleys. "What? No you're stupid! Wait why are you calling me stupid?" Carlos rolled a shopping trolley at him angrily.

"CARLOS GARCIA! GET YOUR BUTT INSIDE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE STOCKING SHELVES!" the boys shared a look "I AM STOCKING THE SHELVES BRIAN! I'M JUST MOVING SO QUICKLY YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

"You're going to get fired again" Kendall sighed "yeah- but old lady Angelina will hire me back- she always does!" Kendall pulled at another trolley "she might not if she hears you calling her old lady Angelina... She's only thirty."

"That **is** old!" Carlos insisted, "I don't know why you even have this job!" Carlos rolls his eyes trying to aim one of the trolleys into its port and hit a car instead. "How else am I going to hang with you- you're ALWAYS at work!"

"So instead you want me to move to California for three month where you would NEVER see me?" Carlos froze "I didn't think of that..." Kendall ruffled his hair "you never do... I could never leave you behind!"

"But you HAVE too! Opportunities don't come along like this every day!" he pushed another trolley off course and it hit another car and a man who had been trying to get into said car.

"Sorry!" they both yelled and then turned back to their conversation. "So you're saying that if you could go to California for three months with a giant JERK of a producer... You would go?"

"YES!"

"Give me your phone..."

******BTR******

"THERE IS NO WAY! NO WAY I AM TAKING THE TWO DOGS FROM MINNESOTA TO CALIFORNIA TO BECOME SUPERSTARS!"

"Do we have a deal then?"

"Yup."

******BTR******

"What am I going to do? There is NO such thing as a two-person boy band! And that dog is adamant that he perform with that no talent loser!"

"So we get another boy... you're a boy band expert!" Gustavo glared at Kelly "OF COURSE I AM! However we have been to EVERY state in the country and there is NO ONE!"

"Well..." Kelly trailed off, "there was that **one** boy from Wisconsin..." Gustavo glared "NO! Not that pretty boy Matthew McConaughey look-a-like! I don't care how much you liked him! He has LESS talent than helmet boy!"

"He was NOT talentless... maybe a little overzealous..." Gustavo scowled "of course YOU like him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I saw your Matthew McConaughey poster!" Gustavo accused her; she gasped "I would never!" Gustavo scoffed "Sure, sure."

"Look! Just call the kid back his name is... James Diamond- look he doesn't need to sing... He just needs to look pretty in the back!" she needled "plus I really don't think he was that bad of I singer- you're just being-"

"FINE! Fine, but you go get him... I'll deal with these dogs."

******BTR******

"So he's reconsidered!" Kelly told him brightly, James went white, eyes wide. "Really?" Kelly nodded, "YES!" he jumped up "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes-" he danced around.

"But why a boy band?" Logan asked curiously, James stopped mid happy dance "ye- what do you mean Loges?" Logan shrugged, "it's just when you auditioned it was for a solo contract- what made Mr. Rocque change his mind?"

"WHO CARES?" James told him pulling him up, still jumping around "I'm going to be a STAR!" he stopped jumping when he saw his friend wasn't copying him "Loges- please. It's all finally happening for me. Be excited" Logan bit his lip, "I am James, but-"

Kelly sighed, she knew she had to tell him now before Gustavo told him in much crueler terms "you want the truth?" both boys turned nodding furiously, "Gustavo found his star in Minnesota... But he wasn't very willing..." James and Logan shared a look "that's crazy! Who turns down stardom?"

"A boy named Kendall Knight... UNLESS" they leaned in "what?" they asked curiously "unless we include his best friend Carlos as well... and well you can't make a two person boy band..." James' face fell and Logan patted him on the back "so... he didn't even want me?"

"Yes but now he NEEDS you" Logan reminded him, James looks contemplative "that's right isn't it... Minnesota was he's last stop... There is nowhere else to look."

Logan's face twisted into worry "I know that look James- what are you thinking?" James face lit up, "you only see three people is a girl band… I mean three is good." his eyes focused on Logan "but FOUR is better!"

"James no." James just grins widely, Kelly sighs "James... No." James turned his large watery eyes on her "w-why not?" Kelly gives him a helpless shrug "Gustavo decides these things... And I don't think your friend even auditioned."

"I didn't" Logan added not at all helpfully, "shut up Loges-" he smacked him "look- Logan took all my dance classes with me" Logan winced "by force." James glared "AND he plays like three instruments!"

"So do you! Look you really don't need me James- you're going to be great without me." James ignores Logan and grabs Kelly's hand "you can't tell me either of those boys from Minnesota are smart- I mean come on their from Minnesota come on! And EVERY boy band has a smart one."

Kelly actually paused at that "how smart?" James grinned "student body vice president, speaks three languages fluently and a near 5.0 grade average." Kelly thought about Kendall; who's juvenile record said he did community service for two years for trying to blow up a cop car. (Kendall was adamant it should count as it was his best friend's dad's unmarked car and he had just been trying to hot-wire it.)

This guy didn't look like a leader but she now vaguely remembers him reorganizing their entire audition process to be more efficient so James could audition before lunch. And people had just stopped and listened to him, and he didn't even yell once…

"Do you wear contacts?" she asked the smaller boy "for driving and gymnastics" James told her excitedly. "You can't be serious-" the boy mumbled but his friend elbowed him.

Kelly assessed him; he wasn't dress terribly- in a cute but casual preppy outfit (though that probably had to do more with his best friend than own personal choice.) The glasses **were** actually kind of cute but they still had to go.

"Take your glasses off and smile for me."

James ripped the glasses off and Logan gave her a lopsided smile.

Oh. Well **that **could work…

Kelly flipped her phone open "Gustavo I'm making an executive decision about the band-" she covered the mouth piece "you're not tone deaf are you?"

James shook his head enthusiastically and Logan sighed and nodded " I can sing."

She ran a hand through his hair, messing it up "we might have to cut your hair" she said remorsefully, and both boys made a sound of protest. "Kendall has REALLY floppy hair- so one of you needs to cut it..." James was suddenly much more on board about Logan cutting his hair.

She turned back to the phone "I'm adding a member to the band."

"WHAT!"

**Please Review**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Quick note; a forgot to mention this story was written specifically for HalfJillHalfJack who spent an entire week in bed mostly unable to move. Feel better honey! On that note **you should totally go read the latest chapter of HalfJillHalfJack's story ****before they were a band they were a band of idiots**** as she wrote it about something I saw on Friday- and it is adorable. Seriously check it out. ****

******If you perhaps also read my other story, The Four Humours know that I am working on that and am sorry for updating newer works over it. To those of you that don't care about that… rejoice. I came off a VERY long shift and still wrote this for you- most defiantly a thank you for the FANTASTIC reviews I got serious. you guys are awesome!**

"And this is Palmwoods- home of the future famous" Kelly told them. Carlos was jumping around like an excitable puppy, not being able to contain himself. Kendall hung back looking unbearably smug, and trying not to let it show how excited he was.

"Kids come from all over America to try their hand at acting, dancing or singing." Mrs. Knight reached over and touched the display palm tree, "wow I touched my first palm tree!" she told Kendall, who smiled fondly at her. "It's got everything you'll need; your apartment is upstairs and there is a game room and an AMAZING pool!"

"Pool" the boys repeated in excitement "um- yes. Now let's get you upstairs and-" the boys shared a look "POOL!" and dropped their things, running in the wrong direction.

"Guys!" Mrs. Knight yelled after them "ah- I wouldn't bother Jennifer, I need to discuss something with you anyway." Kelly's phone beeped and she checked it.

**'Half an hour until touch down. Would you like as to catch a cab to the Palmwoods? -L **

She smiled a little, he must be the only sixteen year old in the world who used proper spelling and punctuation when texting.

**'No way! You guys are the soon to be famous, I'll have the driver pick you up.'**

Kendall and Carlos' faces had been priceless when they had seen the limo, but she could imagine the other two boys might be even more ecstatic. Both boys appeared to be fairly well off, but seemed a touch attention starved. This was reflected in the fact neither boy seemed surprised that their parents weren't willing move with them but had been fairly amicable to sign guardianship over to Kelly.

She had initially tried to think up solutions to the housing problem. The neat thing to do would be to give them an apartment by themselves next to the Knights.

This idea concerned Kelly a lot- because no matter how mature, sixteen was still sixteen. Then she thought maybe of subletting her apartment and moving in with them- but that was filled with complications in itself. It went above and beyond the call of duty and had potential backlash (what with her being quite young and them being quite cute- at the very least it was a media nightmare for when they became famous.)

She smiled brightly, "so- the other boys are touching down soon." Jennifer gave her an odd look "other boys?" Kelly felt her chest get tight "um yes- the boys from Wisconsin. Gustavo didn't tell you about this?"

Jennifer scratched her head "he might of- we can't really understand him when he gets all red." Kelly sighs "hi sweetie" she turned to Katie "do you want to explore for a while, and I'll go show your mum the apartment."

Katie raised her eyebrow "no way! I wanna hear about the boys from Wisconsin!" Jennifer frowned at her child "Katie." she said sternly. Katie threw up her hands "what's the point! It's not like I have any friends here anyway!" Katie moped dramatically and Jennifer's mouth softened, "um" she turned to Kelly "this apartment wouldn't have cable would it?"

Kelly nodded and Katie immediately perked up "I'll let you watch one hour of Fox a day..." Katie drooped again and her lip wobbled "fine" Jennifer groaned, "two- but that's my limit missy!" Katie hugged her mother "thank you! I'm off to the pool!"

She skipped off and Jennifer sighed, "I just got played right?" Kelly grimaced "like a violin." Jennifer laughed, "Well maybe not a violin- Katie has an unnatural hatred for that instrument."

Kelly directed her to the elevators, "so what's this about boys from Wisconsin?" she asked curious "right- okay so the two other members of the band are coming" Jennifer blinked a lot "other members?"

"Well yes, I mean there is no such thing as a two person boy band and Carlos' vocals really aren't strong enough to have them in any form of duet..." Jennifer nodded slowly, "so the two other boys?"

"Are going to be in the apartment next to yours" Jennifer smiled brightly, "I'm going to have to work out a system with their parents," she told her enthusiastically, Kelly winced. "No need- neither of the boys parents are coming... I'll be acting as their guardian."

Jennifer gave her a scandalized look, "so... Will YOU be living with them?" she asked hopefully, "I'm afraid not."

The doors opened and Kelly led Jennifer down the corridor until they reached 2J. Kelly handed her the keys and she looked around, "it's... nice" she said finally, Kelly grimaced. The manager had shafted them with a horrible apartment after one quick google search had alerted him about the boys dubious past with the law.

The room next door wasn't any better, but she assumed he'd given the boys THAT apartment because he was kind of a dick.

Jennifer looked around perfectly conflicted, "so... These boys are... my son's age?" Kelly nodded "and they'll be living alone?" a look of horror crossed her face "we really don't have a lot of options for them."

"What kind of boys are they?" she asked hesitantly, "really sweet kids" she told her immediately. "They're wonderful- I wish I could take them but-" Jennifer nodded understandingly. "Yes, I see how that might look..."

Jennifer gave her a determined look "I can't really just allow two boys to live on their own." She gave Kelly a strong look "they'll just have to come live with me."

Kelly smiled "really? You'd be up for that?" Jennifer smiled softly, "I'm sure it'll be fine... I don't think the boys will mind sharing, they practically live out of each others pockets anyway."

A look crossed her face "the other two won't mind sharing will they?" Kelly laughed "no- no if anything they might be closer than Carlos and Kendall." Jennifer's eyebrows shot up, "really?"

Kelly grinned, her phone beeped again.

**'IS THIS LIMO FOR US? -J'**

Kelly laughed and Jennifer gave her a questioning look, "the boys are on their way." she explained, Jennifer smiled, "I can't wait to meet them."

"By the way... what are their names?"

******BTR******

"We're in a limo!" James said jumping up and down excitedly "and no one even had to die!" Logan laughed, "Yes I heard you the first billion times you said it." James grasped Logan's arm, "come on Loges, get excited we're in California! Just think; the sun, the surf, the girls, the smog!"

Logan wriggled out of the boys grip "yes the city is ours- or at least yours, **I** still have to meet Gustavo." James rolled his eyes "he'll love you!" Logan raised his eyes "he didn't LOVE you- and your actually talented." James pulled him close "don't sweat it- Kelly is in your corner it's in the bag!"

Logan laughed "okay- just let's make sure I'm in the group before we start celebrating." James sunk in his seat pouting, "don't pout Jamie" Logan scolded. James just pouted more, crossing his arms and sinking so far into his seat he almost fell off.

Logan pinched his cheek, "Okay! Okay! I'm excited! I'm excited! Cheer up Charlie" James laughed and let Logan help him up, "you cave so easily!" Logan rolled his eyes "well yeah- you'd be intolerable other wise."

The limo stopped and the limo driver came around opening the door for them. They stepped out and James beamed at the man "thank you!" the man smiled at him and then moved back to the driver's door.

"This is it! Palmwoods!" James squeaked grabbed at Logan's arm jumping up and down in the air in excitement. "That it is."

They both whipped around and saw Kelly and a red headed women smiled at them, clearly amused. "Kelly!" James rushed her excitedly, "this is where we'll be staying?" Kelly nodded " boys this is Mrs. Jennifer Knight you'll be staying with her, her daughter and the two other members of the band."

They both looked surprised "I thought we were rooming alone..." James said in confusion, Logan elbowed him hard "not that we aren't grateful for you to have us!" he amended quickly and Logan nodded enthusiastically.

"The decision was just made" Mrs. Knight explained, James' face broke out into a large smile. Mrs. Knight could feel her knees go a little weak, that boy was just too much "I'm James Diamond" he stuck out his hand for her to shake.

"And this is Logan Mitchell- my best friend!" the short boy gave her a short wave. She smiled widely at both boys, "it really is nice of you to let us stay with you Mrs. Knight."

He gave her a lopsided smile and Jennifer was overcome with the urge to hug the boy. She could see why they were chosen- they certainly looked like they belonged in a boy band.

"So let me show you to your room- I hope you don't mind sharing?" the boys grinned at one another shaking their heads.

Kelly looked at her watch "James" she turned to the taller boy "can you take Logan's things upstairs- I'm afraid I have to take him now to see Gustavo... and then probably to get that hair cut."

Both boys made a pained sound their hands going up to touch the smaller boys hair. "Don't worry boys I promise it won't feel a thing" Kelly sighed and Jennifer laughed.

James picked up Logan's hand and pulled him away "one second Kelly!" he called and pulled him into the lobby, "James? What is it?" Logan laughed; James gave him a serious look "Loges." Logan stopped laughing "yeah Jamie? What is it?"

"You're going to do great" he told him confidently "people always like you- he'll like you I swear!" Logan let out a shaky laugh "now who's in whose head?" James grinned and grabbed his hand "I know your worried you're going to let me down- but even if he hated you, you could **never**-"

"Yeah I know" Logan sighed squeezing his hand, "now you have to let me go- so that scary man can yell at me." James smiled but didn't let go, "no seriously James" Logan told him trying to pull away.

"Nah" James laughed, Logan let out a frustrated noise- James had always been that little bit stronger. "Don't make me fight dirty James," he warned, James snickered "bring it on pipsqueak."

Logan kicked him in the shins.

James eyes went wide and he dropped the smaller boy's hands. Logan dodged away, running and laughing, James sprang to life but Logan had the advantage here. He may not be stronger- but he was sure as hell faster.

"Come back here you son of a-" James almost ran head first into Mrs. Knight and by the time he gained his bearings, Logan had escaped into Kelly's car. "Um sorry Mrs. K" he said sheepishly, "no problem sweetie" she assured him "now grab your stuff and we'll go meet the others."

James was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea. That was right... He had to meet Kendall Knight. THE Kendall Knight- the boy Gustavo Rocque had deemed to be way better than James…

James had been mostly joking when he acted like he didn't want Logan to leave. But he wasn't mostly joking anymore.

He really wished Logan were here.

******BTR******

"What do you mean living with us?" Kendall yelled and Katie stuck her fingers in her ears. How the job of telling Kendall about their two 'house guests' had fallen to her she wasn't sure (she had a sneaking suspicion it may have been revenge for manipulating her mother earlier.)

"Yes- mum thinks it will be good for you guys to get to know your band mates," both boys winced at the words 'band mates'- neither boy was particularly pleased about that piece of news either. Carlos wrings his hands "We could have gotten to know them without them living here! I don't want to live with strangers!"

"Yeah!" Kendall agreed passionately "what if they're murderers? Or arsonists… or football fans? Mum is going to get us all killed!"

Carlos squeaked "murderers? I didn't even think of that! I d-d-d-on't w-wanna diiiiieeeeee!" Kendall wrapped a companionable arm around his friend but smirked at Katie. "Don't worry Carlitos I'll protect you!" Carlos clung tighter and Katie rolled her eyes at her brother's immature behaviour.

"Yeah right- look I actually kind of like it here" she told them, ignoring Kendall mutterings of her swindling a bunch of gullible Californians. She grabbed him by the lapels and pulled him until they were nose to nose "so don't you screw this up!"

"I'm offended!" he told her laughing, Carlos snorted "I'll try to rein him in Katie-Kat" Katie rolled her eyes "yeah right- nobody reins in Kendall Knight."

Kendall smirks "too true… so what are these guys names?"

They all paused at the sound of Mrs. Knights bubbly laughter and the click of the door unlocking. Mrs. Knight walked through a boy followed behind. Kendall narrowed his eyes- he was easily the prettiest boy Kendall had ever seen in real life, and was tall enough to tower over everyone in the room. He was also carrying entirely too much luggage.

He flopped the bags haphazardly to the ground and then raced out of the apartment. "Who was that?" Kendall demanded, "That was your new band mate sweetie" his mother told him brightly. Kendall glowered at the door- he looked like a football fan.

The boy reappeared holding even MORE stuff- Kendall HAD to roll his eyes. He knew that type of guy; rich, pretty and self obsessed.

"Hi!" he said brightly, Katie blinked owlishly at him and then ran over him jumping into his arms. "Hi! I'm Katie, I'm only ten right now- but I wont be forever" she gave him a slightly manic smile "so WAIT for ME!"

Mrs. Knight grabbed her daughter around the middle and pried her off the surprised teenager (though not annoyed he actually looked torn between amused and flattered.) "Well that was a warm welcome! I have a fan- and we haven't even started recording yet!" he laughed and stuck a hand out "I'm James" Katie took it immediately.

"Hi James!" she said enthusiastically shaking it until it physically hurt, he grinned at the two females and then turned to the two teens. The shorter of the two was cowering behind the blonde- who was simply glaring at him. "Um- you must be Kendall and Carlos" he said nervously, Carlos smiled skittishly and Kendall's body relaxed a little. "James- wasn't it?" Kendall said, not moving to take his hand, but did look him up and down.

"That it is" James told his proudly, "James Diamond" Carlos immediately snorted and Kendall bit his lip- like a hundred good jokes came into his head. James raised his eyebrow "something funny about my name?" Kendall almost took a step back in surprise- this guy went on the defensive really quickly, and it wasn't like he was a small guy.

"I don't see how there isn't anything not funny about your name **James Dia-mond**" Kendall smirked. He never backed down from an unnecessary fight- and James looked like he was up for it. The boy's mouth clenched hard, James was defiantly at a disadvantage- outnumbered by people he didn't know (Minnesotans at that!)

His phone beeped and James grabbed it quickly, he read the message Logan had left of facetalk (he was on James alerts) and his face relaxed almost instantly.

**Logan Mitchell says: **Just got the big A.O.K from Mr. R (at least on a probationary period) and Now I'm off to get my haircut!

Kendall and Carlos share a look, James doesn't seem like such a drowned cat anymore, and they wondered who had messaged him. James turned to them and smiled- Logan was staying in California, nothing could dampen his mood. "I think we got off on the wrong foot- I AM really glad to meet you- I guess I owe a lot to you two."

Kendall raised his eyebrow "I guess you must" Mrs. Knight scowled at her son. "Kendall!" she hissed, James flushed but didn't rise to the bait this time. Logan always said when he wanted to punch some douche bag in the face he should count backwards. He counts backwards from ten, then in Russian and French (the only things he knew in those respective languages- Logan was fluent and had taught him.)

Carlos stepped out from behind Kendall "y-you're not a murderer right?" he asked hesitantly, James gaped at him "o-of course not!" James said "who told you that?" he shot a suspicious look at the blonde, who in turn didn't do a whole lot not to look like he hadn't planted the idea in the shorter boys head.

Carlos shrugged and grinned bounded up to him taking his hand, "donno- you don't look like a murderer!" Kendall frowned "how do you expect murderers to look like?" Carlos shrugged "well- not like a model, I guess." James grinned, "I don't suppose models would murder people."

"I'm Carlos" Carlos told him, James grinned, "I thought you might be." Kendall frowned but came up to shake James' hand as well, he didn't like what James was implying "I thought there were two of you?"

James frowned "there are… Loges is with Mr. Rocque right now" Kendall laughed "what kind of name is Loges?" Carlos giggled and James glared, he still had Kendall's hand so he squeezed it tightly until Kendall winced and pulled away. "HE is the fourth member of the band- and my best friend" Kendall and Carlos shared a look- James seemed pretty tetchy about this guy- right back to the hissing cat he had been moments ago.

"He seemed lovely" Mrs. Knight said fondly, "I met him very briefly before Kelly took him away." James beamed at Mrs. Knight "Loges is great! That's why he came… he doesn't exactly NEED to be here…" Kendall dropped the hostility for a moment for the sake of curiosity. "He doesn't want to be a singer?" James shook his head "nah- Logan's way too smart- he's going to be a doctor or something… he just came because I said I wouldn't go without him."

Kendall was struck by how similar that was to his situation (not that he really wanted to be a pop singer like James- and not that Carlos could ever be a doctor… but the principle was sort of the same.) Maybe James wasn't so bad.

"James" Mrs. Knight said softly, "why don't I show you to the room you and Logan are sharing."

Wait a second… there were only… THREE bedrooms that would mean… Kendall would have to SHARE his bedroom…

Kendall officially **hated** James.

******BTR******

Kendall skated around the sidewalk of Palmwoods Park moodily.

James and Carlos had gone with his mum to find some lunch. Carlos had officially been deemed a traitor by Kendall when he and James had gotten along famously after they struck up an odd conversation pudding and bandanas Kendall hadn't really followed.

The OTHER band member Loges (that was what James had called him right?) was a no show. James had described him as small with dark floppy hair- and gave him a rather stern look telling him not to talk to him until James was there. Loges sounded like a big baby to Kendall- he almost wanted to mess with the guy on the principle of the thing.

Not that he would be able to tell 'Loges' from Adam.

Kendall collided hard into someone. "Oh my God!" Kendall winced, someone groaned underneath him, Kendall stood up "I'm SO sorry- I wasn't paying attention!" the guy laughed, he had wire-rims and short spiky hair and had a very open face. His face had a shallow cut that was dribbling with blood, but he barely seemed to notice.

"No I'm sorry" he told him, "I really wasn't looking where I was going- I'm kind of lost." Kendall winced "I wish I could help- but I don't know this place either, I only really know here and the hotel…" the boy's face lit up "hotel?" Kendall blinked "yeah… oh! They should have like a directory or something! Let's go!" he pulled the boy along who struggled to keep up.

Kendall felt less bad- if he could help this kid find his way, he wouldn't feel so bad about that cut on his face. Kendall told himself this was not a distraction so he didn't have to think about Carlos and James and James' stupid face. Kendall priding himself on being able to lie convincingly to anyone- but lying to himself was a tough sell.

"Um- which hotel is it?" he asked, "Um- the Palmwoods" Kendall replied and the teen beamed at him. "That's actually what I was looking for- it must be like fate." Kendall grinned this guy was kind of silly, and he made this face that Kendall wasn't sure anyone had ever directed at him… it was like- complete trust. This guy trusted him to show him the way. Kendall kind of liked that feeling.

"Your right… fate- I'm Kendall by the way" the guys face actually lit up "Oh! **Kendall**! It really must be fate!" he laughed but Kendall really didn't understand what was so funny, "I'm Logan," he told him like it would explain everything.

"Cool" Kendall said a genuine smile on his face. Logan was a little odd, but Kendall kind of liked odd. He wasn't best friends with Carlos Garcia for nothing after all.

"So- you're a skater?" Logan asked brightly watching in awe as Kendall smoothly glided across the pathway. "Yeah" Kendall told him excitedly, "I'm a hockey player, do you play?" Logan shook his head "nah- I'm not big on team sports- I don't really know anything about hockey " Kendall gave him a scandalized look. "Don't- Don't know ANYTHING about-" Logan laughed "I suppose hockey's big where your from."

"I'm from Minnesota" he explained- because that did really explain it all, "you need to be educated- well… I guess ice hockey wouldn't be that big in California."

"I'm from Wisconsin actually- well Texas originally." Kendall laughed "Texas? No way! Where is your accent then?" Logan elbowed him, "I worked really hard to get rid of it thank you" Kendall let out a noise of disappointment "Aw come on Logie- talk Texan at me!" he laughed at the face Logan pulled at him "Logie? That's a terrible nickname! And trust me people have called me some pretty terrible things."

Kendall stopped laughing abruptly. He was feeling angry and he didn't know why. He didn't like the thought of people making fun of Logan- though at the same time it was almost irresistible. He made such hilarious facial expressions- Kendall quashed the feeling (protective most likely- he felt that way about Carlos sometimes, but the little Latino could more than handle himself.)

Kendall pouted at him, "don't be like that LOGIE! I totally need to hear this accent!" Logan rolled his eyes "NO I am not going to 'talk Texan' at you crudely call it." Kendall skated out in front of him and gave him an squinty assessing look, "I don't think you really are Texan Logie- I think your lying to me!"

"Why would I lie to you about that? And what's with the Logie thing? I mean it seriously quit it."

"One" Kendall stuck up a finger "you are clearly trying to impress me because Minnesota is so much more awesome than Wisconsin." Logan made a sound of distress and opened his mouth but Kendall put a finger to his lips to 'sush' him. Nothing Logan could say would ever convince Kendall otherwise of this fact- he bet James was from somewhere like Wisslamesin.

"TWO because you clearly panic under pressure and so just made something on the spot- something which wasn't very convincing" Logan gaped- James was always making fun of him panicking, he had sort of a panicky personality- but he hadn't done that in front of Kendall.

"How did you know?" he asked, Kendall pumped his fist "so you admit it! You AREN'T Texan!" Logan pushed him "what? NO I **am**, I meant how did you know I panic under pressure…" Kendall grinned, "You have that look about you… you're all skittish and stuff- which is why I'm going to call you Logie- cause it sounds like a bunny rabbit's name."

The stopped outside Palmwoods, "so if I'm a bunny rabbit- you must be an asshole" Logan shot back. But Kendall just grinned at him "hey- you're not gonna get an argument from me about that- I'm actually quite proud of-"

Kelly rushed up to them, "there you guys are!" she sighed in relief- "and you're together! Good- Carlos and James are in the car- we've got to get started on Gustavo's boy band boot camp- nice haircut by the way Logan."

Kendall gaped at Kelly then turned to Logan. "Loges?" the boy turned smiling "hmm?"

******BTR******

When they got to the studio Kendall took Carlos aside, "they're from Wisconsin Carlos!" he hissed "ew- enemy state by default" Carlos made a face- it was a shame, he really quite liked James. Logan seemed quite nice too- though he should have expected something like this… they were sort of weird.

They both looked over, James as clinging to Logan's arm and they were looking at the hallway.

"Welcome to Rocque Rocords" Kelly told them "where you are going to sing, dance and sweat your butts off if you want to end up on these walls." Kendall eyed a poster of boyquake in disgust, "do we… want to end up on these walls?" James glared at him "yes!"

"I like it" Logan laughed "Kendall I assume you'll be the tosser in the orange jump suit." Kendall shoved him half torn laughing- he wanted to dislike the shorter boy as much as his disliked his friend but this proved to be a feat much harder than initially expected. "That means you're the guy in the paramedic uniform **Dr.** Mitchell." Carlos gave Kendall a surprised look.

They moved ahead and James caught Logan by the arm, "what the hell was that?" he hissed "what the hell was what?" Logan asked, picking at James fingers, which were setting to leave deep bruises on his arms. "You! Him! Being all buddy, buddy with my sworn enemy!"

Logan shrugged "I had no idea Kendall was a super villain" James glared "you know what I mean- I don't like him and by sworn best friend duty your not supposed to like him either!" Logan shrugged "he seems okay to me- though he keeps calling me Logie… I think he may be trying to get a rise out of me."

James' shoulder sank "yeah that sounds about right" he slung an arm around Logan, "just… look I don't mind you being friendly." Logan muttered something about 'James not being able to stop him even if he did mind' but James pretended he couldn't hear that. "I just don't want you being friends" Logan gave him a small little smile "don't worry- **you're **my best friend… I've never needed anyone else before." James beams at him.

"Boys" Kelly calls them, Kendall and Carlos were squealing like excitable pre-teen girls. "What's wrong with them?" Logan asked Kelly curiously, Kelly laughed, "they just saw the lead singer from the pussycat dolls walk by."

"NICOLE" Kendall told her enthusiastically "is my future wife!" James made an affronted noise "clearly she will be mine." He turned to Logan whispering "new rule dude- no bro moments in the hall when my future wife could potentially be about."

Logan sighed and Kelly patted him on the shoulder. "Come on Gustavo's just through here."

Gustavo was dressed down in his wannabe gangsta outfit Kendall felt he had to immediately comment on. "Dude" Logan elbowed him, and Kendall fell silent in a slightly embarrassed manner. Kelly shot Gustavo a smirk and he leant over to her muttering, "I don't care if he is tone deaf THAT one stays."

"SO" he turns to the potential band "are you ready to become stars?" they all shared a look "yeah" the chorused as if it were obvious. "Then PROVE to me you can be stars" he stole Carlos' helmet and the boy pouted. "We have three days to prove to this record company that there is something, ANYTHING here."

"What? Three days? What happened to three months?" Kendall asked in disbelief, "Ah the CEO of all our butts" the gestured at them "wants to see you on Friday." James gripped onto Logan's sleeve and he rubbed his back to small soothing circular motions.

"We have to be a band in three days?" Logan asked- he didn't even know these guys, it wasn't like he could sing and he's pretty sure Carlos couldn't either. "NO" Gustavo barked "you have to be a GREAT band in three days!"

Even Kendall was looking a little pale, "I think I'm going to be sick," James muttered to Logan and Logan rubbed his back a little harder. "Look to the horizon" he told him unhelpfully "there IS no horizon" James hissed back. "Then visualize James- and don't throw up on my shoes."

Gustavo had his eyes fixed on Kendall "unless you don't think you can do it Mr. lets make a pop group." Kendall swaggered into Gustavo's personal space "oh we can do it" he said confidently, even though he had no idea if one half of the band could do anything. "Bring it."

Gustavo got even closer still "oh I will bring it! I'll bring everything I got," he told him coolly. They stared each other down until Kendall broke- "you know this is actually a little to close for me."

Gustavo gave Kendall a once over "yeah me too- LET'S MOVE OUT!"

******BTR******

Logan tugged at his camouflage outfit "why do we have to wear camo gear" he asked Carlos. Who shrugged and grinned "I donno- I kind of like it, we wore something like this when we did laser tag in the bush for Kendall's birthday party… man I wish we could do that again" he sighed wistfully. "Why don't you?" Logan asked, Carlos shrugged "That place said we weren't aloud back after we caught all those fires- hey I bet there is laser tag in California, do you and James wanna verse us?"

Logan's eyes went wide and he took a small defensive step back "no, no I'm good!" he waved his hands franticly and Carlos laughed. "See what I mean" a voice said very close to his ear" Logan jumped, his shoulder almost colliding with Kendall's face, who had been standing right behind him. God didn't this boy have any concept of personal space?

Kendall squeezed his shoulder in what Logan assumes is supposed to be comforting gesture "you're so. Damn. Skittish." James pushed Kendall out of the way "and you'll be so. Damn. Black and blue if you don't quit touching him like that!" Kendall would be pissed but he was mostly confused "like what?"

"Quit it James" Logan scolded him shoving him lightly "I'm not a very touchy person" he admitted to Kendall. "No way- you and James have been touching each other since like you got in the car" he looked to where James had his hand on Logan's shoulder, the exact way his hand had been a moment before "you're doing it now."

"Yeah but I've know James since I was six…" Kendall could fathom that statement, being best friends with someone more than half your life. He had met Carlos when he was eight when they both ended up on the hockey team but they hadn't become close until they were thirteen and tried to snow board off the roof together… good times.

"OKAY dogs!" Gustavo yelled, "Why does he keep calling us that?" James muttered and Logan shrugged. "To be a great pop group you need four things." He stopped in front of Logan "great dancing" he gave Logan an approving look since MR. X had already put him through the dancing ringer this morning when he was assessing if he could stay in the group.

The boy had tremendous balance and grace- he made a decent dancer, but his singing… well they would work on that after he had proved to Griffin they were a great boy band.

"A great look" he cast a stink eye to Carlos who had somehow reclaimed his helmet. "A great song AND" he stared Kendall down for the second time today "GREAT singing" he was really relying heavily on Kendall for that last one.

A group of people danced into the room… no seriously they danced in. LA was weird.

"And by the end of to day me and my team" he pointed to the group of enthusiastic people behind him "are going to transform the four dogs from Minnesota-"

"We're actually from Wiscon-" James started "SHUT UP!"

"AS I WAS SAYING! I will turn you into Gustavo Rocque's new pop explosion!" Gustavo used jazz hands and the people behind him seemed to follow suit, with other choreographed moves… well not the two people who quickly identified themselves as the marketing team and didn't know they had to some up with a move.

They did a pretty mean robot on the fly though.

"FIRST STEP OF BOOT CAMP: GREAT DANCING!"

And so it began.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: the thing about this chapter is it reads a lot like the pilot- I sort of necessary. But after this I'm on my own without a net- this chapter is mostly about showing how the subtle differences in personalities change events but ultimately lead them to the same place (also I couldn't bear to change their band name so no matter what the AU they will always be Big Time Rush.) Also I just kept any Americanisms from the pilot that I didn't quite understand (that I remembered) in as they were so if they are incorrect… I'm sure you can think up an appropriate slur about foreigners using your material for me.**

**Another thank you to all the wonderful reviews, alerts and favourites. To say I was overwhelmed might be understating it so… thanks. Oh and if you read 'the four humours' I just updated that too.**

They followed into the dance studio when Gustavo roughly grabbed Logan's arm. "No not you" he slapped a yellow sticky note on his note that said pass, James let out a horrified noise "you're passing on Logan?" Kendall gave Gustavo a furious look "you can't just-"

"Already getting attached Kendog?" he sneered rolling his eyes "I'm not passing on him- I'm GIVING him a pass, as in he doesn't have to dance with you dogs." He threw Logan to one side and Logan almost spun straight into Kelly, "I got you sweetie," he told him steadying him before he got so dizzy he passed out.

"This" he points at the small Asian man in black "is Mr X" Carlos raises his hand, "wait I'm confused." Kendall grins at him and explains slowly "I think Mr X is a stage name Carlos" Carlos blushes "I know that- I meant why is Logan getting a pass at dancing."

They all turn to Logan who shrugs "LOGAN has proved to be a more than adequate dancer when he auditioned this morning." Gustavo told him and then glared at Logan "but he's singing makes my ears want to bleed" James gives Logan the thumbs up and Logan laughs. "So he'll be doing vocal exercises."

"NOW like I was TRYING to say- Mr X has choreographed for BoyQuake" Mr X seems to want to demonstrate his prowess and does the signature BoyQuake move. "Boys in the attic" Mr X does a generic boy band move (because lets face it BTA couldn't dance to save their lives.) "Madonna" the boys are actually impressed with this one- even it does look like one of her signature 'look I'm not too young to be a sex symbol' moves. "Beyoncé" James lets out a grin, because watching a grown man do the single ladies dance was endlessly entertaining- even if he had choreographed it.

"And Yo Gaba Gaba" eyebrows are raised, because who knew Yo Gaba Gaba's moves were choreographed.

"And now" Mr X jumped over to them, seemingly dancing to his own beat (or at least the beat Kelly had provided seconds before with a boom box.) "I will make you explode with the dance." Carlos gave Kendall an incredibly nervous look and shoved his helmet on. He did however, calmed down when Logan moved to hover behind him, and whispered, "don't worry- it wont be hard" and squeezes his shoulder comfortingly.

Logan then hightailed it to a safe distance, but he made sure Carlos didn't see him do that. He didn't want to make him more nervous than he already is. Mr X also moves to a safe distance, but does it with a little more flare than Logan had, well with more dance moves at least. "We will start with an eXamination- cross leg, spin and pose" he demonstrates.

Carlos and Kendall share a look behind an oblivious James' back. Kendall managed the first to step perfectly in time with James' hyper confident dancing, with Carlos lagging a second behind. But when they got to the part where they needed to pose…

BANG.

"James" Logan squeaked in distress rushing to pick James off the floor with Kendall's help. "Gee James I'm SO sorry." He had said the exact same thing to Logan only two hours ago, and it was amazing how different the words could sound.

"You asshole!" James jumped up; brushing off a worried Logan perhaps a tad too hard almost making him careen into Carlos- though Carlos caught him and righted him with a surprising amount of care. "You did that on purpose!" James' attention was solely focused on Kendall, his eyes ablaze "I'm insulted that you would even suggest such a thing" Kendall retorted his voice laced in mock hurt.

James was about to attack when Logan and Carlos slipped between the two taller boys "calm down" Carlos said slowly, his eyes focused hard on Kendall's who merely stared back without shame. "You almost knocked me over" Logan muttered quietly to James, and James' face fell "oh geez Loges- I didn't- I wouldn't-"

Logan sighed, "I know" he cast Kendall a reproachful look "maybe it was a bad idea- trying to be friends" he told James quietly and James agreed immediately and wholeheartedly. Kendall smirked, and James glowered at him- this shit wouldn't normally bother him. He got the whole alpha-male bullshit guys pulled with him just because he was a big guy- but this was his shot.

Kendall didn't seem to be taking it seriously at all!

"AGAIN" Gustavo screamed, this time they all pulled off the move, once again Carlos lagging a second or two behind, seemingly unaware of the beat.

Mr X stopped in front of Kendall, who was back to smirking like a Draco Malfoy wanna-be (or had he ever stopped smirking? James couldn't tell) "He is great but not serious" he moved to James who was trying his best to smile enthusiastically "He is overtrained." James' face fell, how could someone be OVER trained? How did he even fix that?

Mr X skips over to Carlos "and he doesn't even seem to understand what dancing is." Carlos just laughed and looked over to Logan who gave him a wincing smile. Carlos stopped laughing and clutched at his helmet, turning to Kendall to make it better but the blond seemed to be staring Gustavo down in an antagonising way.

Mr X turns to Gustavo crossing his arms to form an X "they are eXcruciating and can not be ready by Friday" Gustavo rolls his eyes "I'll Xdouble your salary" Mr X responds immediately "Xdone!"

Gustavo turns to the three boys "I'll be back in one hour, and I want to see dancers not dogs!" he grabs Logan by his shirt "you come with me" Logan's eyes linger on the other boys, particularly James who was making sad puppy faces at him. "Should they be left alone?" he asks the two adults quietly, Kelly pats him on the back "Logan- I'm sure they'll be fine for an hour."

Logan bites his lip. He wasn't so sure.

******BTR******

The boys should never have been left on their own.

The boys were siting on the floor- well Carlos is hanging off one of the bars used for ballet, James in flat on his back spread out like a starfish so Kendall is technically the only one sitting on the floor.

Logan was not anywhere behind Gustavo like they all hoped he would be (bringing his calming presence with him.)

Gustavo had informed Logan that progress had been made from him making his ears bleed to simply causing early onset deafness- he assured him this was to be taken as a win.

"Where's Logan?" James asked fearfully, hoping the larger man hadn't eaten him. "He's with Kelly" Gustavo said in a clipped tone "WHERE is Mr X?" the boys grinned at each other with a sense of camaraderie which frankly terrified Gustavo.

"Well- first he bang his head into the wall a couple of times" Carlos told him falling down off the bars. "Then he said a bunch of bad words that started with X" James continued, mimicking his arms to from Mr X signature hand gesture. Kendall smirked in a blameless manner "then he X quit."

******BTR******

After much screaming that causes Logan to run back into the room in blind panic (he surveys the situation, rolls his eyes and helped James off the floor.) Gustavo ushers them into a board room and nicks the coffee Logan made for himself a moment before (he promptly gives it back because it is the blackest, sweetest coffee he's ever tasted and he might die from caffeine overdose.)

"Part two of Gustavo Rocque's most awesomest boy band boot camp is the **great** look."

James gave him a concerned look, "um- when are we going to get to sing?" Gustavo flopped down onto his swiveling chair "WHEN I tell you to sing!" The two buttoned up members of the team (with wicked sick pop and lock, robot dance moves) stepped forward with an easel. "Guys we have some exciting looks that will literally transform you," they motioned at the easel.

"Why don't they use PowerPoint?" Logan asked Kendall quietly (who had stolen the seat next to him before James could.) "They're old" Kendall replied not at all quietly, "They probably don't even know what PowerPoint is!"

"Bad boy?" one of them muttered to Gustavo, Gustavo sighed in resignation "defiantly the bad boy." Logan snickered "so you'll defiantly be wearing the orange jumpsuit right?" Kendall shoved him hard "yeah and beating up nerds in sweater vests." he pulled at Logan's sweater vest- perfectly impractical for all the dancing Logan had got to bail out on (Kendall actually wished he had gotten to see him dance- he didn't look the dancing type, but apparently he was more than adequate.)

James glared at the two shoving boys and Logan immediately stiffened, and removed his hands. Kendall deflated a little, so THAT was how Diamond was going to play it... fine.

"We researched and electroshocked focus groups to determine the exact look and name that will sell millions of records." the women extends a pointer and smacks the graph the way Kendall's third grade teacher used to smack her ruler against the board. Kendall pouted- this whole exercise seemed more and more like school every second.

"Um why do we need looks?" Kendall asked raising his hand "can't we just be ourselves?" the adults laughed and James glared at him for questioning everything (a habit forming for both of them respectively.)

"We'll be turning you over to the stylists" the man clicked at the four women in black who had been named members of 'Gustavo's team' each popped up behind their respective boy. "They'll change all your clothes" he cast Kendall an reproachful look "and possibly shave your heads." James let out a noise of horror and his hand ran up to his hair. Logan's stylist clucked her tongue "I am defiantly going to have to even this out… where did you get this done a barbers?" Logan sank into his chair.

"Griffin wants a tasty dish on Friday" the marketing team told Gustavo who grinned, "So we present you-"

They didn't hear because the four boys were preoccupied being mauled by the four enthusiastic stylists. Kendall's stylist was very handsy- but she was young and hot and Kendall didn't mind at all. Logan however was squirming around trying to stop the girl from touching him.

Kendall grabbed the woman's wrist "could you" she glared at him "maybe ease up? My friend doesn't like a lot of touching..." her face softened and she became less insistent and she let him take control of putting on the clothes and even shooed the marketing team and Gustavo out while they were changing.

Logan gave him a grateful smile; Kendall gave James a self-satisfied smug smile. He had done it mostly because Logan was quickly becoming his friend and only a little bit because it bothered James and Kendall liked to win. Well Kendall liked to win a lot but that really didn't have much to do with the situation. Really.

Gustavo bang on the door and the women pushed them together, and Gustavo entered the room Kendall finally took notice of what they were wearing. This was the exact moment Carlos seemed to have realized as well (he had been FAR to distracted by his stylists hands- which had roamed even more invasively than anyone else's if the dirty look Logan's stylist was giving her was any indication.)

"Kendall" he said voice full of amusement "what are you wearing?" Kendall glared at his friend "Yuk it up Carlitos- no way is what I'm wearing is worse than yours."

"We give you boylicious!"

"The beach, the girls... The shirtless overalls..." Kendall complained, Carlos pulled at his headband in annoyance. James straightened his shirt enthusiastically "I think we look good!" Logan rolled his eyes "is it because you're wearing a shirt where we can see your abs?"

Everyone's eyes turned to James' admittedly impressive abs, "well just look at them." He said fondly, "I can make anything look good" he pinched Logan's cheek "and so can you." He casts Kendall an uninterested look but grins at Carlos giving him the thumbs up "you my friend are rocking the headband." Carlos pulls at the elastic and it snaps against his head "but it's cutting of my circulatiooooooon!"

"Nooooooooot bad" Gustavo said- clearly blind to the fact they were not in the nineties (though in respect to the era they were born in- these outfit probably weren't cool in the nineties either.) "But I need- options" the market people (now seen for what they truly were- evil) grinned at each other, pointing to the sky

"change it up!"

And the roaming hands were back. Excellent.

This time Kendall had been acutely aware of what he was being forced to wear and he was even less amused than the previous boylicious outfit. Decked out in a red outfit only seen worn by female country singers and fashion unaware daredevils. Carlos whined and Kendall almost felt like he lucked out, his friend was tight outfit that looked a cross between a schoolboy uniform and something superman might force his son to wear.

Logan was wearing an admittedly bitchen top hat and an suit that awkwardly made him look like Kendall's country singing duet partner. And James… well Kendall tried not to look at James, because then he might look at James pants. Kendall imagined if anyone tried to take a picture of James in his pants; they might get done for child pornography.

"Meet Red, White and Boy" the market team saluted them and Kendall saluted back with a few less fingers. This wasn't well received and Gustavo threw a clipboard at him.

"This look tested great with war veterans who own buicks."

"We look good" James said in the same inflection and Logan made a sweeping motion to Kendall to show that James' abs were still visible so of course he thought he looked good.

Kendall gave James an incredulous look, because really? Was he bind? "We look like Uncle Sam threw up on us!" Actually Logan was looking a little like Uncle Sam period- if Uncle Sam were a sixteen-year-old boy (he must have been at some point right?)

Gustavo glared and looked longingly at his clipboard on the floor, debating whether it was worth picking up just so he could have a second chance to ditch it at Kendall's head, he settled on glaring at the blonde "you silence." the annoying voice inside his head that sounded disturbingly like his assistant reminded him that throwing clipboards at teenagers was wrong no matter how satisfying it was. He turned to the marketing team "you- more options."

"Change them."

The boys knew by now to protect their vital organs as the stylists made another made dash towards them.

This look may be the worst look yet. "I give you danger boy" Carlos blinked rapidly from the eyeliner that wouldn't come out of his eye. "Danger boy is danger- parents will forbid their kids from buying their dangerous music" Kendall crossed his arms sulkily "which is exactly why they will."

Logan was becoming increasingly pale; he's been shafted with the tightest leather pants (being the only one small enough to fit into them- Kendall suggested not unkindly that they may be prepubescent girl's pants.) "I ah can't feel my legs" he grabbed onto Carlos for support and Carlos braced him so he wouldn't pass out on the floor.

"That's because the pants are dangerously tight." Logan let out a squeak and Carlos scrubbed at his face "I feel like a drag queen" he complained, Kendall snorted, "you **look** like a drag queen." Carlos tackled Kendall to the floor and the two remaining band members edged away, moving to stand together.

"IIII hate it!" Gustavo said in a tone of finality, the two adults quickly agreed that they also hated it even though they seemed to have been pushing this look the hardest. "I need five more looks for tomorrow" Carlos stopped trying to pummel Kendall into the ground to look suitably horrified 'five!' he mouthed in disbelief.

"Now follow me to hear your hit single which is going to put me back on top- move out."

Gustavo and his team pranced off and the unnamed group trailed behind trying to take baby steps in the un-breathable leather. They ultimately ended up in a boy pile on the floor.

There was a beat of silence.

"I think we look good."

******BTR******

"Okay part three of the great boy band boot campapolosa- the **great** song" Gustavo pointed to Kelly who was holding sheet music "it's called girl time." Gustavo played a melodic tune on the piano, "it's a song about no matter what time of day it is."

"Don't you know it's girl time?"

James grinned excitedly and Kendall raised his eyebrows at him. Gustavo let out a fake yawn "awww I just woke up what time is it?" he asked the mock question, answering it immediately "it's girl time!"

Kendall went from annoyed to amused really quickly as Gustavo continued pointing at his watch "ah- excuse me sir do you know what time it is?" he pointed at Kendall "it's girl time!"

"What about if you have a sinus infection?" Logan asked curiously "isn't that doctor time?" Gustavo glared at him and Logan shrank back "NO! It's STILL girl time!" Gustavo massaged his temples "you know what Lo-gain you know where the coffee machine is, go get me some coffee- and not with six hundred thousand shots in it!" Logan blushed and slunk off out of the room.

Kendall looked up smirking from his papers "do any of your song not have the word girl in them?" it sounded like it might be a genuine question but one look at Kendall's face confirmed he was just trying to rile Gustavo up. Gustavo walked passed Kendall bumping hard into him and directing him to a wall of records.

"Well let's find out Mr. question everything I do! LETS HAVE A LOOK AT MY WALL OF PLATIMIUM RECORDS!" he gestured violently at the wall but stopped to trace his hands on the frames in a more loving way though. "Let's see there's ah girl like you, girl you are my girl, hot girl, cold girl, girl to my heart, yard squirrel Christmas" he paused looking momentarily embarrassed. "I forgot that one was there- ah girl zone, girl zone remix, girl cake and girl, girl, girl which sold three million copies and WAS NUMBER ONE FOR FIVE WEEKS!"

He was gesturing aggressively and grinned at Kendall like a maniac, clearly thinking he's won. He got up right in his face and James and Carlos winced, knowing nothing good would come of this. "Any other questions DOG?" Gustavo patted Kendall lightly on his face and Carlos secured his helmet and put himself between James and the rest of the action. Assuring the pretty boy he'd be slightly safer there.

"Are any of those song from this girlenium?"

******BTR******

Logan rushed into the room quickly followed by Kelly who had also stepped out, "was that an earthquake?" he yelled and ran over to James who was holding onto Carlos, he checked him for any damage. Kelly sighed "no that was Gustavo" Logan's eyes widened, "do you have a sphygmomanometer?"

The boys stared at him like he was from another planet but Kelly cocked her head "actually yes."

Twenty minuets later, ocean sounds were playing and Logan had got Gustavo's blood pressure officially back into normal range. "120 over 80" he said impressed "that's actually really good for a man in a high stress job!"

Gustavo rubbed his temples "you can produce now" Kelly told him gingerly and grabbed Logan moving him far away from Gustavo. She was after all his temporary guardian even if the plan was for him to live with Mrs Knight.

"Boys lets get you too the sound booth."

******BTR******

Gustavo was a little bit calmer, turns out Logan made a mean coffee when it wasn't made up of ¼ coffee beans 2/4 sugar and Kelly made him do a series of breathing exercises. So he felt good. That didn't mean he hadn't shoved the four boys into the sound booth with a little bit more force than strictly necessary- but no one other than Kelly had given him a dirty look for it so he counted that as a win.

"Be careful" Kelly warned him "these boys haven't had a break all day- I think they're getting a little punchy." Gustavo glared at the room where the boys were seemingly trying to hug the walls "I don't care!"

He turned on his speaker "ooookkay and now its time for the final stage of Gustavo Rocque's most amazing pop group boot camp." They all looked at him expectedly and he sang loudly into the microphone "the SINGING!" The boys winced as the feedback sent unpleasant noises into their headphones. Gustavo gave what he must of thought was an encouraging smile- that more came off psychotic.

"What is this place?" Kendall asked curiously bouncing himself off one of the padded walls. "It's a sound booth guys," Kelly explained through the microphone "it just isolates the sound in case we need to edit or enhance them later.

Carlos ducked out of sight somewhere on the floor, "Carlos" Logan scolded "what" he whined "there are pillows on the floor." He head popped back up into see range, "why are there pillows on the floor?" he handed one to James who snatched it greedily hugging it to his chest "do you want us to nap? Cause we will!"

"They just absorbed any extra echo or treble just like those big foam mike covers" Kendall picked up the microphone noticing it for the first time with a wicked smile. He hit it harmlessly against his head "and I put some fruit water in there in case your mouths get dry" she told them helpfully. Logan grinned at her picking one of the bottles up and gave her the thumbs up which she returned.

Kendall swang the microphone around by the cord muttering something about ninjas to Carlos, who he accidently hit in the face seconds later. Carlos glared "funny" clearly indicating that is wasn't "do it again," he challenged. Kendall of course complied hitting him in the face harder that time, Kendall laughed "no so tough without your helmet are you?"

Carlos growled and James cast a disapproving look at them. Carlos picked up the bottled and squirted it at Kendall, only Kendall moved at it hit Logan dead in the chest. "Hey knock it off!" he told them annoyed, stripping out of his sweater vest but still leaving him in a sopping t-shirt.

"ohh- watcha gonna do Logie?" Kendall taunted over Carlos' apology, Logan raised an eyebrow at the blonde. He grabbed the bottle and opened it dunking the contents over his head, Kendall spluttered in surprise "guys" James pleaded casting an angry look at a snickering Logan.

"Oh it's on!" Kendall declared grabbing two more of the bottles and squirting Logan with them. Logan moved and Kendall did as well, meaning Carlos and James got soaked. James looked down at his shirt in horror "you just ruined my LUCKY white V-neck!"

And the fruit water battle commenced, the sound guy winced for his microphone which was clearly about to be ruined. "Maybe the fruit water was a bad idea" she said in horror, Kendall picked up a pillow socking James with it, the feathers flying everywhere and attached to sticky skin.

"As were the pillows" she sighed, Gustavo dropped his papers in almost defeat. "Please get them to stop," he asked in an eerily calm voice, Kelly tried but was ultimately ignored.

"I told you they were tired" Kelly tried to defend but with the four teenage boys throwing feathers around there really wasn't anything she could say.

"Just- have them met me in the studio when they're finished."

******BTR******

Gustavo paced in front of them like an angry school principal (making this scene frighteningly familiar for all of them.) He stopped in from of Carlos decidedly pointing a finger in his face.

"You can't sing."

Carlos looked suitably shamefaced and a little like a drowned puppy what with all the soaked feathers clinging to his skin in various odd ways so Gustavo didn't dwell there for very long. Instead he moved on to Logan who was looking even more pathetic. "You can't sing AND you failed to be the responsible one!"

Logan actually look like a nervous wreck, with the least amount of experience in being told off by authority figures, his default setting seemed to be to look like he was going to cry. Gustavo blocked his face with his hand; "don't make that face at me EVER again."

"I wasn't trying to-"

"EVER AGAIN!"

He paused and James who was looking hopeful and put his hand up covering him from vision and walked by. James face fell looking devastated and moved over to Logan so he could be comforted (and ended up having to comfort Logan because James couldn't handle Logan's sad face any better than Gustavo could.)

Gustavo stopped and stared down at Kendall "and worst of all" he glared at the blonde "you don't even seem to want this!"

Kendall spit out the feathers and finally realised maybe he had gone to far.

"Well what about me" James asked handing Logan off to Carlos who cooed at him. "I can sing and dance AND I want this!" Gustavo glared at him "you remind me of Matthew McConaughey" James grinned "awesome" Gustavo shook his head. "I can't STAND Matthew McConaughey!"

"This group can't sing, can't dance, they don't have a song or a look and they're COVERED IN FEATHERS!" Gustavo was pacing and screaming, half the band looked shamefaced, one fourth looked completely heart broken and the last one fourth seemed unreadable.

"And I would rather quit right now than commit POP SUCIDE on FRIDAY in front of the record company." Kendall had finally mustered up a look that was at least somewhat contrite but Gustavo wasn't having at it.

"However there is one song I would love to play for you" Gustavo turned and marched to his piano sitting down with flourish and sang. "Ooo now that I'm through with you messing up my head- this band on dogs-" Logan winced "is officially DEAD!"

******BTR******

The boys sat morosely around the pool, Carlos had his legs submerged in water and Kendall was looking moodily at the pool.

Logan sat spread out on a deck chair and James had pushed one next to his so he could lean over and rest his head on his friend's shoulder. Logan petted his head lightly and James whimpered a little, not enough spirit left in him to even yell at his friend for messing with his hair.

"I'm so depressed" Carlos moaned, he looked over sadly at Logan who sighed and motioned him over. Carlos jumped up and onto Logan's deck chair (a tight fit for two) and let Logan rub his back soothingly.

"I wish I was dead" James moaned into his shirt, "okay" Logan muttered darkly, "just don't get blood on my shirt." He looked down at the smaller boy curled up next to him "and don't make Carlos look- he looks like a puker!" Carlos let out a sound of outrage but didn't move "I am not!"

James and Logan shared a look "so are" the chorused and Carlos muttered dark thing and pushed Logan off the deck chair and onto James. "Hey!" he complained and rearranged himself so he was next to James and not on top of him, now half sitting on each chair.

Kendall sighed loudly, glaring at the three morose boys "okay- pity party over!" James jumped up glaring at Kendall "your right- this shouldn't be a pity party" he pushed Kendall hard in the shoulder "this should be a punch Kendall party- you RUINED EVERYTHING!"

"I ruined everything?" Kendall mimicked back "I sang, I danced, I wore the stupid outfits what do you want from me James- I didn't get us fired!" he pushed the tall boy back "yes you did!" James said angrily "you could have tried! Why are you here if you weren't even going to TRY?"

Logan jumped up "hey James calm down" James rounded on Logan, "Don't tell me to calm down Loges, you're always saying that- but this time I'm angry!" he pointed at Kendall "at him" he pointed sharply at Carlos "at helmet boy over there" and then he pushed Logan "and at you!"

"At me? What did I do? I swear I did the best I could" Logan said defensively taking a step back "you know that's not it!" he pushed Logan again "you promised you'd do what best friends do" he glared hatefully at Kendall "but you were messing around with Kendall and THAT'S what got us fired."

Kendall grabbed his shoulder "hey man lay of Logan- he didn't DO anything." James snarled at him "your right! This was all your fault!" and he pushed Kendall in the pool, Kendall hit his arm going out and let a shout of genuine pain.

"Kendall!"

Logan dived in swiftly after him, pulling up to the ledge and checking his arm over. "Grab me a first aid kit," he ordered at the blissed out looking boy who was playing guitar, the boy jumped to attention "um dude? Where would that like be?" he asked setting his guitar down "front desk" Logan barked back and the boy ran off quickly.

Most of James' anger had run out now that Kendall was injured and Carlos was hopping from one foot to the other in a concerned manner in the background as James' best friend patched him up. Kendall was bleeding all over Logan's towel and James was starting to feel more and more awful. He'd never made anyone bleed before…

"Sorry Kendall" he mumbled and Logan gave him an approving look. "Don't sweat it man," Kendall told him, much more forgiving than James would have been if Kendall had thrown him in the pool. The guitar dude was back with the first aid kit and Logan patched him up fairly quickly, Kendall had bleed a lot for what turned out to be a fairly minor cut.

"Thanks doctor Logie" Kendall grinned, and Logan glared good-naturedly at the nickname, stuffing some pills into his hand. "For the pain" Logan promised and Kendall swallowed them without looking. Logan sighed, deep down underneath all Kendall's bravado he clearly needed someone to look after him- or at the very least someone to tell him to never just take pills someone gives you without looking at them…

Logan patted Kendall's head "I knew someone was going to end up drawing blood- I never thought it would be this way…" He looked over to where James was sitting quietly, legs into the pool making small sad ripples with his fingers. "I feel really bad for him" he sighs checking Kendall's arm one final time "I want to be a doctor- and you want to be, what was it a hockey player?" Kendall nodded "Carlos wants to be… well whatever Carlos wants to be, but James? Being a pop star… it's all he EVER wanted. And I've ruined it for him."

"You didn't ruin it" Kendall tells him immediately; "this isn't the end" he promised and stood up. "Band" he calls and motioned for them to all line up, he sucks in a breath, "I'm not sure if I want to be a pop star." He admits and watches as James looks at his feet and mutters "I'm pretty sure you've proven you don't." but he ignores this "but I love California- I love living with my best friend, and I'm sure I learn to love you two weird dudes from Wisconsin… or at least learn to tolerate James."

"What are you getting at Kendall?" James asked annoyed, Kendall flounders for a second and Carlos takes off his helmet putting it on his friend "you give the best speeches ever." He whispers encouragingly "just don't think about singing and dancing- think like you're on the ice."

Kendall's face lights up "that's it! Look one day -God willing- I will explain to you properly how ice hockey works" he promised Logan. "But for now all you need to know is that you have to be crazy to play it- look at us" he gestures at him and Carlos grinning manically. "So in ice hockey you can't give up, can you dump the puck and scramble back to the bench?"

Logan and James shared a look like they had no idea what he was saying "NO! You grab that net, block the goalie and rush the net big time!" Carlos laughed at the others confused faces "you really think we can make it as a boy band?"

"No" Kendall admitted "but it's not like we were trying…"

"I was trying!" James pointed out "we know" Kendall replied wincing, this James dude sure knew how to make him feel guilty. "So we should do this right! We should try our best!" he wasn't getting the response he was hoping for.

"Rush the net!" he made what must have been a silly hand gesture if Logan's laugh was any indication, "okay so I'm not good with hockey terms, so what do we get from rushing the net?" Kendall wrapped his arm around Logan getting him wet and grinned brightly, "that my friend is a big time rush!"

"Big time rush?" Logan asked but was grinning and put his hand in the middle, "big time rush" James confirmed placing his hand over Logan's and squeezing. "Big time rush!" the last two members put there hands in.

"SO" Kendall sighed "James can you sing?"

"Can I!"

******BTR******

Turns out James hadn't been kidding about this being his dream. He could sing amazingly- like Kendall had no idea why he was even in a group of pathetic not boy banders when he had a voice like that! He actually knew his shit about how the voice worked as an instrument as well and coached the three novices on harmonies (turns out Logan's voice wasn't disastrous- he just needed to sing in a lower key- Carlos on the other hand… needed work.)

He could also play the piano, guitar and drums. So could Logan apparently- though he played trumpet instead of drums (a stupidly useless instrument- but Logan seemed to take that as a challenge and vowed that he would find a place to play his trumpet somewhere in their hypothetical future album.)

Logan also knew how to write music.

So they came back to Gustavo prepared.

"Okay" Kendall admitted defeat "we'll do it your way- no goofing off, no pillow fights and no questions for the next two days."

"Okay-" Gustavo looked relieved, turning to head to his piano "girl time from the top."

"Except for that" Kendall rushed "we REALLY don't like girl time!" Gustavo glared, "OH LET ME GUESS you have a BETTER idea, so let's hear it! LET'S HEAR THE DOGS BETTER SONG!"

"Okay" Kendall said in a chipper tone "it seemed you accidently brought two people who know what there doing with music into the band- easy mistake to make." He gestured at Logan and James, "they helped us write this little ditty" Logan held up music sheets "it's called big time rush."

"It's about two groups of best friends who have an amazing opportunity in front of them- and plan to work for it," Kendall explained. "You don't have to use it" Logan rushed "we just wanted to show you what we can do."

The other boys nodded violently, Kelly smiled "it's a nice idea boys" she looked at the music sheets "and ah- this could work- and you've GOT to stop using the word girl in all your song titles." She shoved it under Gustavo's nose and watched as the anger drained from his face "IIIIIIIII- ALSO like it, at least I'll keep some of the music."

Logan and James high fived quietly in the background, silly grins plastered to their faces. "We're going to be working all night on this one because Friday is two days away and we are in a BIG TIME RUSH!"

**Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: I have prac tomorrow and should be sleeping, instead I am updating so you better love me for this… Okay so this is where the differences in background and personality start to really show (particularly with Logan but one of the Minnesota boys is going to have a fairly different past as well.) Okay well here you go.**

It had been an extremely Tiring night, Gustavo had mostly been focused on the new song and working out vocals. That could only mean a hard day of dance drills was in store for the next day. Nobody was excited about this (particularly Mr X who had been lured back with the promise they would be eXtremely well behaved.)

They had trudged into the apartment late, muscles sore and very little to show for the progress that had been made. They fell asleep; bags still packed (beds only made thanks to Mrs. Knight) and well the next day... Waking up was a bitch.

Logan knocked lightly on the door, he wasn't sure if Mrs Knight was a morning person but since she had been insistent that she would drop them off at Rocque records she needed to get up. "Um Mrs Knight-" he opened the door slightly but heard a terrifying growling sound and slammed the door shut.

Well if worse came to worse he could catch the bus...

He ran back over to the stove, where he put two pans on the stove in preparation of cooking breakfast. "It is early Loges" James complained, half stretched out on the kitchen table. "We need to be up" Logan insisted and James groaned, "I don't see puck-head up!"

Logan rolled his eyes "I knocked for like ten minuets but no one is getting up." James growled at the table "I wouldn't be up if you hadn't shook me awake."

Logan started to prepare the batter for the pancakes "go have a shower that should wake you up- and hopefully the noise will wake everyone one up." Logan ripped up a small piece of unbuttered toast off his plate and threw it a James hair, it got lost. "Are you implying that I make a lot of noise?" James glared "I'm not implying- I'm saying it! Your hairdryer wakes the dead and it's not like we're in your mansion, their bedroom is just next door."

"House Loges" James reminds him, "it's a house- mansions have more stories."

James shook his head and several pieces of toast fell out and he glared "when I am more awake you shall fear my wrath!" Logan rolled his eyes and motioned him towards the bathroom. James whined and Logan ended up having to prod and pull at him until they were at the bathroom door. "You will be the death of me," James cries dramatically and Logan rolls his eyes. James would probably be in a ditch somewhere without him.

It wasn't until well after James had gotten out of the shower and Katie had gotten up and snagged some breakfast out of Logan's pans that their other band mates appeared.

Kendall rubbed his eyes, trying to orient himself to a world where he had to be up by seven after staying up way past midnight.

James was sitting at the breakfast table awake, alert and hiding behind a newspaper with Katie. They seemed to be throwing small pieces of toast at Logan while he had his back turned making coffee. Logan seemed to be operating under the assumption he was a fifties housewife and had cooked breakfast (and if the ruckus half an hour a go was any indication he also manhandled James into the shower- who was in a bathrobe now.)

Logan caught sight of him and broke out into his already endearing and familiar lopsided smile "Kendall!" he greeted cheerfully, Kendall rubbed his temples- he should have known there would be something else wrong with Logan.

Dude was a morning person...

Carlos sniffed the air, he was still in pajamas but thought it was appropriate to wear his helmet. "Pancakes?" he asked hopefully, Logan nodded "with chocolate chips as well as bacon and eggs... I wasn't sure what you guys ate..."

Carlos jumped into Logan's arms "I love you" he told him seriously (in a way reminiscent of how Katie had jumped in James' arms yesterday.) "Marry me- we'll have ugly children but I'll treat you right."

Logan shrugged "yeah okay- but I'm no one's wife..." Carlos grinned enthusiastically at him. "Whatever you say Logie" Logan scowled "Logie... that's not going to be a thing now is it?" Kendall gave him a smug look and plopped down next to James stealing the toast that he and Katie had been using as projectiles.

"Could I please have some bacon and eggs?" he asks Logan, ignoring the way Katie was glaring at him now James had legitimately turned his attention to the newspaper and away from Katie.

James glared at him "get it yourself"- James was evidently not a morning person. Kendall always wondered if it was possible for a morning person and non-morning person to cohabitate peaceful- a moot point, Kendall was sure nobody could really cohabitate with James diamond.

"Here" Logan handed him a plate of admittedly mouth watering looking plate of bacon and scrambled eyes. James glared "your doing it again!" he accused, Logan snorted, "am not."

"Are too! You're getting Kendall breakfast, and your MARRYING Carlos- you are the worst best friend ever!" Logan laughed and turned to Carlos "James doesn't approve- I guess the wedding is off." Carlos made a sound of outrage, muffled from the hilariously large bite of pancake occupying his mouth.

"You'll learn to love me" he assures James "everyone does" he winks at Logan. He takes another large blissed out bite of pancakes "seriously dude- I will wait for you."

Kendall dug into his food and watched Logan walk over to his mother's door. He almost dropped his fork when Logan opened it a crack "dude! That my mother's room!"

"I know" Logan rolled his eyes and Kendall and Carlos shared a look before Carlos held up his hands in surrender. "Sorry dude- if you want to beat him up your on your own!"

"Dude! What happened to bros before eggos?" Kendall cried, "first off that's waffles" Carlos took another bite "and I have never know a love like this, leave me and the pancakes out of it."

"Still no luck?" James asked, "of course not" Katie snorted "he's not going to be able wake her up before ten."

"Can you go in?" Logan asked Katie hopefully who just laughed "no way in hell!"

"Katie!" Kendall scolded but Katie didn't even have the decency to look contrite. "I have an idea" James said excitedly "do you remember how I woke you up for exams last year?"

Logan's face lit up "that's a brilliant idea- James you're so smart!" he ran into their room and Kendall raised his eyebrow, James was grinning his idiot (though Kendall supposed he might grin if Logan said HE was smart...)

Logan came back out with a mini fan and poured a cup of coffee. He walked over to Mrs. Knight's door and held the fan close to the cup of coffee and the smell of coffee wafted into her room.

He stepped back and the door swing opened and Mrs. knight stole the cup from him sculling it in one go. "Boys" she admonished "you have to go in ten minuets- get dressed."

She turned to Logan "morning sweetie- you know if you pour me another cup I swear I'll taste it this time."

"No time," James grabbed Logan roughly by the arm "ten minuets isn't nearly enough time to pick out an outfit- code blue beta emergency Loges!"

Logan rolled his eyes and let himself to be dragged into their room.

******BTR******

The boys sat on the floor in various states of interest while Gustavo paced back and forth. "The song… is finished" he boomed, which they knew, he finished it right before they went back to the hotel. They hadn't heard the new version of 'Big Time Rush' but were pleased to find out Gustavo had only tweaked the music and kept the chorus (though had done a massive overhaul on the verses and bridge.)

"Here" Gustavo brandished several pieces of paper, "is the arrangement- I have placed your names by your parts." he threw the paper in the air and it rained down on the teens.

Carlos snatched his out of the air "um Gustavo..." Gustavo glared "Mr. Rocque." Carlos shook his head grinning "nah my names Carlos."

Gustavo rubbed his temples and tried to imagine filling his pool with the millions he was going to make off the band. Maybe he would dive into the pool scrooge mcduck style- though he probably use notes instead of coins. Because while diving into a big pile of money had always been the dream- suffocating in small pieces of metal wasn't.

"What do you want Carlos?" he asked in annoyance, maybe he could suffocate Carlos pool full of money... no he had seen the boy backflip off a roof when he was in Minnesota- he was clearly invincible.

"My name isn't on here- in fact no of our names are... except for Kendall..." Carlos trailed off and James glared angrily at the floor. "That must be a mistake" Logan said confidently and squeezed James' shoulder.

Kendall snatched the closest lyric sheet "what the hell!" Gustavo snatched the sheet from his hand "THAT is not a mistake Mr. Mitchell."

"Then what are we- we're clearly not a band so- what? are we Kendall Knight's backup singers?" Logan glared furiously and Gustavo stared back. "Its business Mr. Mitchell- I have ONE more day to prove that there is SOMETHING here! Excuse ME for not showcasing my WEAKEST members!"

Logan stood up sharply and Kelly rushed to his side grabbing his arm. He smiled weakly at her "don't worry I'm just... going to get some air," he stuck out his hand and pulled James up. "I'm not saying to use me and Carlos- but Kendall isn't trained enough to carry a full song... think about it."

He left and James followed silently in his wake. "We do NOT have time for him to be a DRAMA QUEEN!" Gustavo screamed loud enough that Logan would have heard it even if he were back in Wisconsin.

"He right you know" Kendall told him standing, brushing non-existent dirt off his jeans. "Oh gee- what a surprise Kendall Knight is choosing the apposing side" Gustavo sneered but Kendall just shrugged at him "well yes- but he's not wrong."

He smirked at Carlos who just raised his eyebrow "I heard he was the smart one." Carlos grinned, "I hear that's all hype."

"Regardless- I'm NOT a trained singer and you said it yourself... we don't have time to waste on weak members." Kelly sighed a snatched the lyric sheet (now slightly abused from all the manhandling) "I'll reassign parts- Kendall will you grab Logan and James."

Gustavo grabbed Kendall by the collar "no YOU get to practice the chorus- Carlos go find the cheese eaters." both Kendall and Carlos made a face- they had forgotten they were from Wisconsin. Ergh.

Carlos jumped up and took his helmet off shoving it hard to Kendall's chest. "You're going to need this" he told him seriously, Kendall laughed, "gee thank man."

Carlos saluted him and raced out the door. "He seems cheerful" Kelly commented, relieved at least one person was in a good mood. "Oh that's just because he's off to find his wife."

"WHAT?"

******BTR******

"You didn't have to do that," James murmured as soon as they were a suitable distance; sitting under the 'boys in the attic' poster in the corridor. Logan laughed lightly and carded his hand through the hairs on the nape of James' hair, and James -to his credit- didn't even flinch.

Whenever Logan was anxious he used to run his fingers through his hair, even though James swore to him it was a disgusting habit. Logan didn't have long hair anymore and James found he didn't mind the habit transferring to his own hair if it made Logan feel better.

"It's so out of character of you" he told Logan fondly, the smaller boy snorted. "What you don't agree?" Logan grinned into his hand and James raised an eyebrow "so you're prone to angry outbursts then? Funny the Logan Mitchell I know hates loosing his cool."

Logan smiled fondly at him "yes- but the Logan Mitchell I know also believes in standing up for his friends... you usually don't give me a chance."

James slung his arm around Logan and his forehead touched his friend's shoulder in a sign of affection. "You don't have to protect me..."

"Yes I do."

"Hey guys!" Carlos called from down the hall jogging up to them, "I'm not interrupting cuddle time am I?" he joked and James laughed "What? Want in?"

Carlos grinned widely "hell yeah" he plopped down beside James and James put his arm around the smaller boy.

Logan blinked slowly "you guys have like, no person space you know that?" Carlos flopped his head onto James' shoulder "shut up Logie- it's been a stressful couple of days..."

James patted him fondly on the head, "you know you're alright without that helmet, why do you wear it?" Carlos gasped "don't talk that way about helmie" he ran his hands through his hair and sighed "I'm kind of a danger magnet- after my tenth trip to the hospital they suggested I wear I helmet to prevent brain damage."

Logan snorted "too late for that" Carlos leaned over James and smacked Logan. "Hey, hey" James said raised his hands "don't touch the hair!"

The two shorter boys shared a look and then tackled James to the ground.

"Quit it-AH not cool!"

Kendall wondered out into the corridor, Gustavo had finally got tired of waiting for the other boys (and maybe Kendall had gotten sick of singing scales and said some insensitive things about Gustavo's hair.)

"What's all this then?"

Carlos was on top of James, pinning him to the ground with Logan's assistance who was also messing up James' hair. They all looked up guiltily "um- hi Kendall" Carlos grinned at him.

"Messing up pretty boy's hair without me? Carlos I'm horrified!" Kendall told him, voice laced with mock hurt "well technically LOGAN is messing up James' hair I'm just an ac-acc-"

"Accessory" Logan told him and Carlos grinned at him gratefully. Kendall turned his hurt look on Logan who didn't even flinch (he'd grown up with James after all.)

"Eh tu Logie" he cried dramatically, Logan smirked at him "I hold no allegiance to you Knight." Kendall gave him a confidant smug smile "not yet."

Kendall hit the wall and sunk down to sit next to Logan (who had let go of James- who had revenge tackled Carlos.) "I missed another band bonding moment didn't I?"

Logan patted his head "you'll get one eventually." Kendall sighed and leaned on Logan who didn't try to pull away for once, Kendall smiled to himself "I kind of like this one..."

"DOGS! WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU?"

"Moment's over."

******BTR******

The song was actually really good and Kelly decided the verses between the four of them (they were presenting Mr. Griffin a shorter version which cut out Logan and Carlos' solos- not that they minded.)

After more run throughs of the song than they ever wanted to do again, Kelly ushered them off the dance room to meet up Mr. X.

Kelly and Mr. X chatted amicably for a moment; they seemed to be friends (she referred to him a Xavier when she thought no one was listening- and suddenly the boys became a whole lot more understanding of his name change.)

He listened to the rough music for 'Big Time Rush' a bopped his head along in the right places and tapped his foot.

"Something simple" Kelly had told him (her voice sounded more commanding than they had ever heard it.) "I mean it Mr. X- you've seen the limitations..." Mr. X smiled a sharp smile and eyes flickered over to Logan "yes- but I have also seen potential" Logan slunk behind James to hide from Mr. X's view.

Kelly gave them a concerned look "well boys... Good luck..."

As soon as she had cleared the room Mr. X turned on them, "well boys- let the boot camp really begin."

He hadn't been kidding.

Kendall had gotten around to watching Logan on their fifth run-through of the song. He was good- probably on par with James, graceful and fluid. Kendall was a little disappointed he was kind of hoping he would be amazing. Gustavo seemed to have oversold his ability.

"Wait Mr. X what is supposed to happen in this bridge?" Kendall asked curiously, they all seemed to move to the side during the bridge (which was a little ridiculous seeing as it's the only time they didn't have to dance while singing.)

Mr. X beckoned Logan over; "you boys can a break- I need to work on this part with Logan."

Kendall, James and Carlos ended up all crowded around the small table in the break room.

James and Carlos were entertaining themselves playing an inventive game of slaps (Carlos' helmet was more necessary than usual.) Kendall had watched them semi-amused for about ten minuets before declaring them boring and that they should go exploring.

"I don't know about this" James said worried (though Kendall couldn't take him seriously in Carlos' helmet- supposed booty from the slaps game.) "Don't be such a wet blanket James- if something happens it's clearly on Mr. X who foolishly left us alone..."

"But you SAID we weren't going to fool around so we could get this done" Carlos said hesitantly (his attention admittedly slightly more focused on the crisis of his missing helmet.)

"That was then," Kendall, told him with a dismissive hand wave, James' eyes narrowed at him. "That STILL now Kendall- can't you just... be a normal person for another day!" Kendall raised an eyebrow at him and smirked "oh James PLEASE enlighten me WHAT you mean by a normal person."

"Someone not trying to stick it to the man I suppose- I mean that is what you're trying to do right? Gustavo is an authority figure so no matter WHAT he's saying, he MUST be always wrong."

"Hey if you remember correctly I wasn't the one chucking a hissy fit this morning" he crossed his arms at the taller boy. "He wasn't throwing a- look forget it I'm not getting into an argument with you."

He took the helmet off gingerly and put it back on Carlos' head. "I saw a vending machine near the sound booth, I'm gonna go grab some food- hold down the fort for me?"

His long strides got him out of the room faster than Carlos could comprehend.

"Hew I thought he'd never leave" Kendall falls into James seat and Carlos blinks because it's almost like James was never there. "Why do you do that?" Carlos asked heatedly (or as heatedly as Carlos Garcia could ever manage.)

"Why'd I do what Carlitos?" Kendall asked distractedly, he was eyeing the backpack James had left behind, he reached out a hand... and someone slapped it away. "Hey! Why'd you do that?"

"I asked first," Carlos said, voice an almost perfect imitation of Kendall's confident, cocky tone. Kendall sighed "and I still don't understand the question- WHAT DID I DO?"

"You're not trying again" Carlos told him miserably and Kendall laughed. "Oh Carlos- I'm trying my ass off... I realize why you might be confused, you don't see me do it very often-"

Carlos shook his head "I know you're trying to dance and sing or whatever- I was talking about being nice to James... you promised..."

Kendall winced, he vaguely remembered Carlos waking him up at two in the morning and making him swear on a bible (or a stack of comics or something) to be nicer. But that couldn't be legally binding right?

"Aw come on Carlos I didn't even start it- I mean it was good natured ribbing..." Carlos sighed fondly and ruffled his hair "you're not good-natured." Kendall grinned up at him "why Carlos?" he cried dramatically "haven't I always been good to you?"

"Clearly you don't remember breaking my leg" Carlos laughed "you WANTED to rollerblade down that hill" Kendall cried defensively "I just gave you a little push- because I'm a GREAT friend!"

"And that time you put instant pudding in the water fountain and blamed me" Carlos listed "I did it FOR you- you love pudding." He told him "I don't love being banded from the mall."

"And what about-" Kendall shoved his hand over Carlos' mouth "as fun as the walk down memory lane is- check your watch we're gonna be late meeting back up with Mr. X."

"Shit."

******BTR******

Logan was sitting by himself in the center of dance floor, in what Kendall would call a meditation pose. "Where is Mr. X?" Kendall asked curiously "and James" Carlos added. Logan's eyes snapped open "James isn't with you?"

"Nah I'm here" James said leaning against the doorframe in a James Dean-esk way. He threw some fruit smackers at Carlos' head "fruit smackers!" Carlos squealed and opened them so he could gorge, "how did you know I love fruit smackers?"

"You left subtle clues" James told him "like singing the fruit smackers jingle at the top of your lungs while you were in the shower." Carlos went a satisfying maroon colour and James smirked.

James threw a bottle of water at Logan, who drank from it greedily. "Tired?" James asked smirking; Logan flipped him off "this is bullshit James" he said his voice light to indicate he wasn't serious, "you promised me sex, drugs and rock and roll- not hours of work!"

James grinned silly laying down on the floor next to his friend "hey I came through- I mean one out of three isn't bad." Logan smiled widely "drugs?" he asked hopefully "rock and roll." he informed him remorsefully "you'll have to bring your own cortisone shots" Logan pushed him. "Dude!" he knocked on the floor "knock on wood I never need cortisone!"

"Okay now I'm confused" Kendall sat down, Logan laughed and scratched his head. "You know- I guess we don't know each other that well, how about if we get the demo we all go out to dinner and work it all out."

"Okay... your not really a druggie though right?"

Both boys burst out laughing "no- no I'm a gymnast- sorta."

"I'm not sure if that's better or worse..." Kendall joked and grinned and pushed Logan friendly "dude- don't you have to be like tank or something to be a gymnast?" Logan laughed "yeah something like that- but I'm not like a real gymnast anymore, I barely do competitions."

"And if this singing thing goes through I won't be able to train anyway" James looked at him horrified "you really don't think do you?" Logan laughed at his expression, "come on you know gymnastic stopped being fun years ago."

"No- I'm thinking about what your coach is going to do to me..." James looked pale, "she'll like send the Russian mob after me!"

"Natalia is NOT in the Russian mob" Logan laughed "says you!"

Mr. X ran back into the room holding several microphones "good we're all here- take a mike and let's run through this with the bridge this time."

******BTR******

"So Logan's like really good, right?" Carlos told Kendall excitedly, Kendall nodded "apparently their parents are huge on the extra-curricular, they do more after school activities than anyone I've ever seen..."

"You saw all those instruments in their room right? Plus James is a TRAINED dancer" Carlos told him in a gossipy tone. They were sitting in the sound booth, Logan was being screamed at for his apparent lack of ability to stay in key and James was hovering protectively behind him.

"Who has that kind of money or time?"

Kendall was suddenly very interested in their little 'getting to know you dinner' on Friday. James grabbed Logan's wrist and was making small circles with his thumb, Logan spared a moment to smile softly at him.

"They're close right? Like dating maybe? Or do you think they're related?" Carlos shrugged "probably not dating- James called Logan his 'brother' so maybe they are related." Kendall snorted "they look NOTHING alike" Carlos shrugged again "I donno adopted maybe or fostered. Could be a brother-from-another-mother..."

Kendall broke out into hysterical laughter "oh- you did NOT just say that!"

A bone chilling shrill sound came over the headphones and they both grabbed at their ears.

"AND WHAT PRAY TELL IS SO FUNNY?"

Gustavo's voice rang through the small sound room. "WELL LADIES IF WE ARE FINISHED GOSSIPING LIKE SCHOOL GIRLS CAN WE GET BACK TO WORK?

"Actually boys- could you come out for a minuet I need to talk to you" Kelly's voice rang out. The boys shared a look and shrugged, exiting the sound room.

"So" Kelly clapped her hands- Gustavo was nowhere to be found. "Gustavo wanted me to have a quick talk about image" the four boys shared a look "ah Kelly?" Logan piped up "we already had this conversation... right before we were mauled by stylists."

"This... is a different type of talk" she looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Right look here goes! Look Gustavo had some concerns about your romantic relationships- don't interrupt me Kendall." She glared at Kendall who had opened his mouth and looked like he was gearing up for some kind of smart-ass comment. "You will be represent Big Time Rush- and Rocque Records, but I don't much care about WHO you date as long as you're discreet."

She sent another look at Kendall whose mouth was more or less just hanging open.

"It's inter-band dating that we have a problem with- Gustavo has had a few cases in previous bands Boys in the Attic and Angel, Angel."

She gave a significant look at Logan and Carlos. "Wait a second" James said in shock "are you saying... there were LESBIANS in Angel, Angel?"

"James Diamond everyone" Logan muttered, "master at missing the point."

"Okay, okay I get it" James laughed "you think Kendall and Carlos are hooking up- well aren't you?" he raised an eyebrow as both boys managed to dry heave at the same time "WELL that answers that question Kelly" James said cheerfully. "Awkwardness achieved- Gustavo can come back in now..."

"Um that wasn't the couple I was talking about- I meant Logan and Carlos..."

Kendall went pale "are you saying this painful, PAINFUL conversation is brought to you by my off handed comment about them being married?"

Kelly nodded "oh- um Kelly I was joking," James glared "I should have known you were behind this Knight!"

"Oh yes because I got perverse enjoyment about this conversation."

"It doesn't matter anyway Logan's seeing someone- a GIRL someone, well as much as that crazy bitch is considered a girl..." Logan punched him "we broke up two weeks a go you asshole- and don't call her a bitch."

"Why didn't I know this?" James cried "you said when we got back together" James cut in "for the fifth time" Logan cast him an annoyed look "yes the fifth time, not to cry to you again if she did something crazy and broke up with me again..."

"She set something on fire again?" James asked in alarm "nah- she just hacked my grades and changed them to 'F's- I got Ian the IT guy to fix it."

"Oh! Kendall piped up "you like crazy chicks? Cause I was at the pool the other day-" Kelly raised her hand and they all fell silent. "So let me get this straight- nobody is trying to date within the band?"

They shook their heads.

The door slammed open and Gustavo waltzed in "well thank god for that! Now get into the sound booth or do you want ME to give you the talk?"

They all scuttled to the booth.

******BTR******

The four boys collapsed on the couch, "everything hurts" Carlos moaned. "yeah a fifteen hour day will do that to you" Logan sighed and sunk deeper into the couch.

"So Kendall-" Logan started "how long HAVE you known Carlos and I were dating?" Kendall threw a pillow at him "shut up- I said I was sorry!" Logan cast him a dark smile "but I haven't gotten to dish out any vigilante style justice."

"You aren't going to bat-a-rang him in the knees are you?" Carlos asked tearfully and James patted him on the head "Aw- Carlos Logan isn't REALLY batman."

"What kind on justice?" Kendall asked suspiciously "you're making your own breakfast tomorrow bitch."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo- now would be the appropriate time to laugh manically," he told Logan. "Ah right- MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-" James slapped a hand over Logan's face "that's enough of that now."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Your still going to make ME breakfast right Logie?" Carlos asked fearfully, "sure Carlos."

"Hmm" James said "wow Kendall I guess you were right Logan is Carlos' little bitch."

This comment was responded with a pillow to the face.

And it was SO on.

**Please review**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: Been at prac but I am updating now so yay! I got some seriously awesome reviews for the last chapter so thank you guys SO much! I initially had no idea what to write for this chapter- accept the breakfast scene which was supposed to be in the last chapter but was bumped because I liked the idea of Carlos and Logan getting married. But it's back with a vengeance so yay.**

**In another IMPORTANT yet irrelevant to this story note- HalfJillHalfJack and I are going to write a story together, well not together, it's going to be like Chinese whispers- she'll write a chapter and then I will and we wont talk about the plot or where the plot is going. What we need though is a story idea- so if you have any ideas or requests now is the time! Just drop me or HalfJillHalfJack a line.**

Kendall woke up to the rich aroma of coffee and waffles- mmm waffles. He sat up like a vampire rising out of coffin in that old black and white vampire movie they had fallen asleep watching… actually… how had he gotten back into bed?

He looked over to Carlos' side of the room where the small boy was sleeping, tangled in blankets, half fallen of the bed. His side look like a bomb had hit it- and how had he even managed that? They had been at the hotel for two days and had barely spent anytime in their room. Kendall hadn't even unpacked, his plan was to eventually wear everything in his suitcase and his mum would wash, fold and put his clothes into his dresser.

Kendall threw off his blankets and wandered out into the kitchen, hoping Logan had forgotten his previous promise of 'no breakfast for Kendall' revenge.

Logan was not in the kitchen, or anywhere Kendall could see. James was standing blearily in front of a waffle iron (Kendall wasn't aware his mum had a waffle iron- maybe Logan a.k.a Carlos' fifties housewife had brought it.) James made no move to acknowledge Kendall so Kendall just grinned to himself, he didn't like to be ignored…

"AHHHH!" James yelped grabbing at his back spastically, Kendall stood back smirking. Water down the back of the shirt. Classic.

"What's your major malfunction dude?" James screamed, a loud thump came from Kendall and Carlos' room. Carlos appeared at the door, alert and panicky wearing his helmet and holding his hockey stick in a defensive manner "what happened?" he asks fearfully moving into the room slowly waving his stick in the air as if looking for an evil supernatural force.

"KENDALL poured water down my back for like no apparent reason!" James glared; Carlos sighed and dropped his hockey stick "oh- is that all, wake me up if there is a real emergency." He wandered back to his room and a few moments later; God-awful snores could be heard, indicating Carlos was sleeping again.

James stared sourly at Kendall who snickered and went to the fridge to pour himself a cup of victory orange juice. Ew- the victory orange juice had gone off!

James snickered as Kendall sprayed a mouthful of juice across the room, "dude that's my low-sugar, low-fat, low-carb orange juice." Kendall coughed violently "it tastes like batteries" he wheezed "it didn't think orange juice had fat in it in the first place!" He attempted to scrub his tongue of the foul tasting concoction.

"I don't think it does… but now I know for sure" James lent over and took a long swig from the carton Kendall had mistakenly poured from. He didn't even flinch. Clearly there was something wrong with that boy that went deeper than him being a cheese head.

The front door opened and Logan sung out "James I'm bac- oh Kendall! You're up, fantastic!" he grinned happily, he was holding a newspaper and a carton of milk. "I ran out to the store to grab some more milk- I used it all making waffle batter and I didn't want your mum not to have any for her coffee."

Kendall felt the now familiar rush of affection for Logan whenever Logan did anything thoughtful for another human being. That type of person; the kind, responsible type person had been absent from Kendall's life for far to long.

"Logan- Kendall threw water down my back for no reason!" James tattled childishly and Logan threw Kendall a sharp look, ah. This is why the kind, responsible type person never stuck around Kendall. He was (to quote every single teacher he'd ever had) a handful.

"Kendall" Logan scolded, Kendall whined "it wasn't for no reason" he glared at James "he started it." James let out a gasp "I did not! I didn't even know you were up until I felt ice water down my back!" Kendall snorted "it was tap water you drama queen."

Logan rubbed his temples; it was going to be one of those days. "Kendall" he sighed, the hockey player snapped to attention "please apologise to James- I DON'T care who started it, I'd like you to finish it." Kendall glared at James, James was such a brat, Kendall had just been having a little fun and James had gotten Logan all mad and temple rub-bie at him.

"Sorry" he mumbled at James, he didn't sound like he meant it at all but Logan exhaled and let it go. It was probably the best they were going to get. "Are the waffles ready?" he asked James, the boy beamed at him and held up a stack of carefully arranged waffles, drizzled with maple syrup and butter. Kendall could feel himself salivating- he could say what he likes about Wisconsin, they obviously made breakfast over there like it was their job or something.

He extended his hand and Logan slapped it "you get toast Kendall" Kendall's heart broke into a million little not-getting-any-waffle pieces. "Toast?" he asked mournfully "or breakfast cereal- anything you can make yourself" Logan told him and James stuck out his tongue.

"But- but James isn't even gonna eat the waffles" he moaned, watching the tall boy who daintily nibbled on toast. Logan had taken a waffle and there was a stack in the middle of the table. Mocking him.

"you should have thought of that before you started all that trouble" Logan chastised him grinning, he would cave before the waffles even went cold- not that Kendall needed to know that.

"you also threw water down my back" James told him viciously, wriggling trying to make his sopping wet shirt not cling to his back. Logan rolled his eyes "just change your shirt" he told him, James pouted, "no way- this is my lucky T-shirt!"

"I thought that white shirt was your lucky shirt" Kendall scoffed, sitting down at the table hard and made eyes at the waffles. "THAT was my lucky white V-neck, this is my lucky black graphic T-shirt" James told him like he was speaking to a mentally unstable five year old. "What the difference?"

"What's the- the DIFFERENCE is Logan gave me this shirt as a good luck present for my audition with Gustavo Rocque." Logan blinked in surprise "did I?" James sighed heavily "yes Loges- that's why it's my LUCKY T-shirt!"

"Isn't that the one you threw down the stairs after you tried to have it exorcized by a priest?" Logan asked amused, James flushed "well… it's luckiness didn't appear straight away."

Logan smiled fondly at him "you're a sentimental man aren't you James?"

The door slammed open and Carlos appeared in a daze "waffles?" he sniffed the air hopefully, Logan grinned, "help yourself." Carlos dived to the table snatching the plate, Kendall whimpered pathetically.

"Fine" Logan laughed "stop acting like I killed your puppy and grab some waffles Kendall."

Kendall and Carlos wrestled until they had evenly distributed the waffles they turned to the other two boys. Logan had handed James half of the paper and they were reading and eating quietly.

James stretched out his toast to Logan who took a bite he in turn handed James his fork and James tried a mouthful of waffle. "mmmh good waffle Loges" he told the smaller boy, eyes never leaving the page, Logan smiled "do you want the finances?"

James nodded and took the section and gave Logan a different one "I assume you want to read the lifestyle section you giant girl." James told him fondly, Logan grinned to himself "they're doing a follow up article to the fire wood home- it should be a good read."

The fell back into comfortable silence.

Carlos and Kendall shared a look of unease.

They'd never seen two people look so… domestic.

******BTR******

The ride to Rocque records had been loud, with Kendall and James sniping viciously at one another and Carlos trying his best to simply ignore them by staging the world's loudest conversation with Kelly. Logan had put his headphones in the second they got in the car and declared "he wasn't playing so the could leave him out of it."

The two boys in the fight mostly respected his wishes (with the exception of when James shoved Kendall a little too hard and knocked him onto Logan's lap.)

They were stopped by a now haggard Kelly who's eye had been twitching for about half of the trip. "You two" she pointed at the tall boys "are driving me insane! How do you two live with them?"

Logan and Carlos have a conversation using their eyes (and increasingly amusing facial expressions) before turning to Kelly and shrugging. "We haven't had a lot of time to do much of anything" Carlos admitted (ignoring Kendall's muttering that Carlos had found the time to mess up their room.)

Logan nodded "if we get the big A.O.K from Griffin I'm sure we'll have to deal with them..." Carlos had repositioned himself so he was between the two boys and cast them nervous look "this will be a blood bath" he moaned to Logan who leant over and patted him on the shoulder.

Kelly sighed heavily, maybe she should sublet her apartment and move next door taking Logan and James with her.

James and Kendall's squabble had deteriorated into some kind of wrestling match their smaller friends were not trying to break up. Logan was taking pictures with his phone and muttering about 'blackmail potential' to a grinning Carlos. Kelly was ready to slam her head against the wall- forget the subletting idea, the boys were on they're own because there was NOWAY she could live with two sixteen year olds.

Especially if they were in Big Time Rush.

The two dark haired boys were FINALLY trying to pull the two other boys apart but didn't seem to have the energy or strength for the task. Kelly sighed and motioned at a Rocque records security guard, who pulled the boys apart easily.

**Kelly's to do list:**

Do not let anyone convince her to sublet her apartment

Get Big Time Rush a bodyguard to protect them from themselves.

Get more coffee

On second thought get Logan to make her coffee so he stopped smirking like a smug snake

Still do not sublet apartment

Stop looking at the boys directly- all that concentrated pretty was giving her a migraine.

Kelly rubbed her temples and motioned at the security to drag the boys inside. The man struggled to keep the boys apart and get the inside.

**Amendment to Kelly's to do list:**

get a large enough body guard that he could just through members of Big Time Rush over his shoulder when she needed them somewhere quickly.

They finally got to the reversal room, the security guard bitching at Kelly that this was not in his job description and if he wanted to separate attractive teenage boys he would have become a high school football coach. He muttered something about 'being to old for this shit' and stomped off.

Gustavo flounced in "DOGS- you're actually on time... good work?"

Kelly needed a raise... and some coffee.

She sent Logan off to get some and mentally crossed it off her to do list.

Kelly sipped her coffee in satisfaction; she should have hired Logan as her assistant instead of as a band member. He could just follow her around looking pretty and making her coffee.

Gustavo was making them do harmonies again. Kendall was twitching and Carlos was tapping his foot spastically to the music. This could not end well...

Kelly slipped out of the rehearsal- she hadn't had breakfast yet anyway. Let Gustavo deal with it.

******BTR******

Gustavo stared mournfully at the wheely chair he had brought from his office. It was now dismantled into several unfixable pieces.

"And THAT is how you play indoor rage hockey" Kendall told a horrified Logan and gave Carlos a high five. Kelly walked into the room, assessed the situation and walked back out- maybe she should start interviewing for that body guard.

"WHAT" Gustavo screamed "IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?" Kendall shrugged "we have attention issues?" he told him weakly; Gustavo looked over at James was distractedly staring at his reflection on the window adoringly. "WHY CAN'T YOU'RE ATTENTION ISSUES BE LIKE JAMES- AT LEAST HE'S NOT BREAKING THINGS!"

James attention snapped to Gustavo grinning wildly "that doesn't mean I like you" he told him warningly, bit that didn't diminish James' grin.

"WELL?" Gustavo screamed at Kendall who rolled his eyes, "because I'm not completely on myself?" Logan snorted "that's debatable" Kendall shoved Logan hard "besides" he added "I don't have the attention span to look at myself for hours on end."

"I do not" James argued, he case weakened when his eyes turned back to the window so he could study his reflection once more.

Gustavo let out a high-strung noise and pointe at the door "go- go bug Mr. X for a while."

The boys shrugged and left Gustavo grabbed the back of Carlos and Logan's shirts. "Not you two" he growled, boy boys looked confused. James shot Logan a 'deer in the headlights' look and Kendall raised an eyebrow "why do you-"

"GET OUT!" Gustavo screamed- mostly at Kendall and his never ending stream of questions.

The tall boys sulked and exited the room, presumably to press their ears on the door.

Gustavo turned to the two boys "dogs!" he barked, they snapped to attention "I don't have to tell you how important today is- in FIVE hours you will be performing in front of the man who can make or break all our careers... and possibly our fingers."

They shuddered "our fingers?" Carlos squeaked "your fingers" Gustavo confirmed gravely. "So unless you want THAT to happen you will get the other two under control!" Logan and Carlos cringed "I'm not sure-"

"YOU" he pointed at Logan almost hitting him in the face "are going to deal with Kendall!" both boys choked "WHAT?" they chorused (and an echoing 'what!' that sounded suspiciously like James could be heard from outside the door) "you heard" Gustavo glared.

"Um- Mr. Rocque- Carlos is Kendall's best friend shouldn't he be… um dealing with Kendall?" Logan asked tentatively "no" Gustavo said firmly "I will not allow to two geniuses that invented indoor rage hockey, not an hour ago." Carlos snickered "we ARE geniuses."

Gustavo shook his head "James isn't terrible when he's on his own- he just needs to be separated from Kendall" he narrowed his eyes at Carlos "that is your job!"

"What about me- Kendall doesn't listen to me!" Logan said with obvious worry, Carlos shook his head "sure he does!" he told him brightly "more than I've ever seen him listen to anyone" he grins and whispers "I've never seen him care about what anybody else thought about him… not even me- but he cares about what you think."

There was a noise outside the door and scuffling could be heard, Gustavo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Go get lunch or something- and when you come back I expect you four to be the best you've ever been- you have 20 minuets and not a moment more."

He opened the door and found Kendall and James on the floor fighting "maybe I should have had Kelly direct the little inter-band dating lecture at you two instead?" he mused and stepped over the two outraged boys.

Logan nudged Carlos who nodded "I want corndogs" he grabbed James by the arm and hauled him up "we should totally buy some! And by we I mean you" and dragged James down the hall, James outstretched his hand mournfully to Logan. On one hand he liked both corndogs and Carlos on the other hand he hated leaving his best friend in lurch with Mr. eyebrows.

Logan gave Kendall and amused look and the blonde picked himself up with as much dignity as he could muster. "So where are you taking me for lunch?" Kendall smirked, Logan raised an eyebrow "who says I'm taking you anywhere?"

Kendall scratched his head "I heard Gustavo- you're my very own babysitter" he grinned proudly. "Doesn't that make you feel like a child? He's being condescending" Logan told him "Condewhating?" Kendall asked "um no I don't mind- admit it you like me, and you HAVE to hang out with me now, James can't guilt you into ignoring me!"

"He didn't guilt me" Logan replied, "and your right- I think your funny but the reason I want to hang out with you because you're being a jackass to my friend."

Kendall's face fell a little and Logan sighed steering him to the door, "come on hockey-head you can buy me lunch."

******BTR******

When they got back James and Carlos were sitting together, sodas in hand giggling to themselves. Kendall didn't like to think he was a jealous person- okay that was a lie, he was a very possessive person and 'James' was hanging out, laughing with his best friend. Talking about… riding clouds.

"Goku could do it in dragonball- you just need a pure heart" Carlos insisted, James laughed "yeah and I bet you're as pure as snow right Carlos?" he sniggered and Carlos went red. Neither he nor Kendall had, had much luck in the dating department. Kendall had a few short-lived flings but every girl from Minnesota remembered Carlos as the guy who ate worms in the second grade on a dare. It was a huge mood killer.

"You can't ride a cloud even if you were pure of heart," Logan told him sitting down next to James, who snagged his drink off him. "It's not a solid" Carlos made a heart breaking face "yes it is" he insisted, "Dragonball Z has never lied to me before!" Logan laughed "Dragonball Z is set in an alternate reality with aliens and talking animals- its ANIME for God's sake it's not meant to be realistic."

Carlos glared at Logan "oh the wedding is SO off" Logan grabbed his chest as if he'd been shot. "Ah my poor heart" Carlos leaned over James and smacked Logan, who promptly returned the favour. It quickly escalated but looked nothing like the fight Kendall and James had engaged in before, as it was just slapping, and both seemed terrified of actually hitting and injuring the other.

"Okay, okay" James interrupted the fight, because well it was happening two inches to his face. Which was a whole lot of inches to close when 'the face' and flailing limbs were involved. The boys separated easily "Hey Loges remember when I said you weren't good at manly fights?" James asked, Logan perked up "yeah?"

"I stand by that statement."

Logan hit James much harder than he had been trying to hit Carlos but it just served to make the taller boy burst out into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

Kelly walked back in and grinned at the sight of the boy harmlessly shoving one another and laughing. "Okay boys you ready?" The four boys gulped "ready" Kendall spoke for them showing off his teeth in a way that seemed more friendly than his usual predatorily smile.

She took them into the dance studio, they had finished recording yesterday and now it was all about practicing until they bled. Or something, Gustavo was very gung ho about practicing until they bled- maybe it was some kind of expression?

It wasn't.

Logan carefully wrapped the scrape on Carlos' leg. He was luckily not in much pain and could still weight bare but Gustavo barely wanted to stop when the accident happened, let alone wait around while Logan 'played doctor' with the other boy.

He had said as much and Logan had gone bright red "I'm not 'playing doctor' Mr. Rocque" he used air quotes and seemed appalled. Gustavo snorted "whatever kid- I have yet to see you stay in tune once during the second verse- we don't have time for this."

Kendall growled, "hey leave them alone- Logan's just helping cause Carlos fell" Gustavo didn't look in the slightest bit cowed. "Gee that's a real touching story but Griffin will be here in an HOUR- we don't have time!"

Kelly rushed in "Griffin is here!" he said panicky, everyone in the room froze. "HE'S EARLY?" Gustavo screamed and then took two deep breaths "STYLISTS!" he yelled at the top of his lungs and the four women dance in, he waved his hand at the boys, "just… fix them and get them to the studio immediately."

He rubbed his temples and Kelly handed him a cup of coffee.

Dead man walking.

******BTR******

Mr. Griffin was every bit as intimidating as he had seemed in his interviews. James was sweating buckets (though he still looked fabulous… even if you couldn't see his abs.) Carlos was jittery and jumping up and down shaking his hands. "Carlos" he grabbed the jumpy boy's shoulders and he ceased movement "you'll do great." He promised, Carlos just shook his head "no YOU'LL do alright, KENDALL will do alright- I'm screwed."

"I noticed my name wasn't mentioned there- I'm gonna go sulk in a corner now" Logan joked. James stepped into Carlos' line of vision, blocking his best friend who was being NO help at all!

"You're great Carlos" he promised, "I've never met anyone like you- this band wouldn't exist without you."

"The band wouldn't exist without Kendall" Carlos corrected, because well that's what it was like all the time. Kendall was this big, cool amazing guy and Carlos was… well Carlos. "No it's you" James insisted, "I thought Kendall didn't care about anything-"

Kendall let out a small annoyed 'hey!' but was ignored by all "but he cares about you- enough to bring you out to California! That must make you pretty special… and that's what Griffin is going to see" James grinned and ruffled his hair. "A pretty special dude" Carlos beamed at him "nobody's ever said that before… well nobody's said that to me before and not meant it in the 'rides the short bus' kind of way!"

"Oh I meant it that way," James laughed and Carlos tackled him to the ground "Kidding! Kidding!" James gasped and Carlos let up "I know" he grinned "and thanks James- you're pretty special too." James snorted "well OBVIOUSLY."

Logan turned to Kendall "so where is my speech" he jokingly commanded, Kendall shrugged and patted him on the shoulder. "Um do good… don't mess up on the chorus?" Kendall tried and gave him a tight smile, Logan sighed dramatically. "Oh I see how it is" he crossed his arms "I guess this means where not soul mates like James and Carlos" he gestured to the two hugging boys "I guess it's better to know now."

Logan turned on his heel and dramatically left the room, heading to the recording studio where they would be performing.

"WAIT! LOGAN! I COULD SO BE YOUR SOULMATE!"

******BTR******

The four boys sat around the small dinner table, Chinese boxes in hand. It was late and Mrs. Knight and Katie had gone to bed hours ago, truth be told they should be sleeping as well. But they couldn't. they were riding on the high.

Big Time Rush was an official band. Griffin took all credit for finding them so they guess that meant he liked them… It was late and Kelly had let them grab Chinese before dropping them off at the hotel. They had planned to have a mini party in the lobby but apparently they weren't supposed to loiter around down there after a certain time and Mr. Bitters slapped a big angry X on their door. They weren't sure what that meant but they decided to hightail it back to the apartment anyway.

"So what's with the twister board?" James stared suspiciously at the middle of the table "cause I'm not sure how comfortable I feel playing twister with three dudes." Kendall rolled his eyes "do you see a twister mat around anywhere James? Jeez maybe you should lie down before you hurt yourself."

Logan tutted in disapproval and Kendall shut up. Logan scratched his head "sorry Kendall I don't get what the board is about either" he admitted and smacked Carlos' hand who was trying to steal one of his egg rolls.

"Look I said we should get to know each other…" Kendall gestures at the twister board. "Once again I'm not sure I want to know any of you guys that well" James affirmed strongly and handed Carlos his egg rolls (that kind of food was bad for the skin anyway.)

"NO! Look we spin it and whoever it lands on has to answer a question that the spinner chooses." Carlos nods as if comprehension has dawned "like spin the bottle?" He asks innocently "ye- what NO! It's nothing like that!" Kendall waves his hands spastically in defense, Logan snorts "really? Cause it sounds like you want us to play spins the bottle."

Kendall throws a piece of honey glaze chicken at Logan, and instead of hitting him in the face; the boy catches it skillfully in his mouth. "Logan 1 Kendall 0" he croons happily munching on the chicken, which sure tasted a lot like victory.

"Look" Kendall snaps in frustration "I thought this would be easier than painful small talk can you all please get on board." He glares at Logan- the supposed sensible who had been giving him hell all day, even though he was TRYING to be nice. He didn't get him at all- he was messing with James not Logan so why was Logan taking it so personally?

"Okay" James decided and the smaller boys looked at him in surprise "what?" he said defensively "we're going to make a DEMO together! Nothing Kendall could say could destroy this moment for me."

Logan and Carlos shrug "okay then" Kendall grins widely and spins the spinner enthusiastically. It stopped on Carlos.

"Damn- I already know tons about you… wait I got one" he grinned evilly, "Carlos Garcia who was your first kiss?" Carlos went bright red "do I have too-" Kendall cackles "yes answer under penalty of… cleaning our room!"

Carlos shuddered "okay- as Kendall already KNOWS and is trying to embarrass me, I've never been kissed." Both boys stared at him with shock and Kendall -being the worst friend in the world- merely smirked. "How is that possible?" James gaped, Kendall laughed and Logan nodded furiously "yeah your such a nice guy!"

Kendall stopped laughing- that wasn't the reaction he was expecting… James' face lit up, "I'll lend you Logan!"

Carlos went beetroot red "um no thanks- I mean I'm sure he's very nice-" James snorted "not like that idiot- Logan is my wingman, he's actually hyper confident at it." Logan nodded sagely "it's true- and you're good looking enough for it to work."

"Could you get me a Jennifer?" Carlos asked hopefully "who's Jennifer?" Logan asked at the same time James enthusiastically said "sure!"

Well… that should be interesting.

Carlos spun the spinner and it landed on Logan, he beamed at the boy "okay, okay I've been dying to know something!" Logan nodded at him encouragingly "so you can do like all these amazing flips and stuff and you said you were sort of a gymnast but what does that mean?"

Logan looked embarrassed and James was smiling "okay" Logan said unsurely. "I'm sort of a gymnast because I hardly ever do compete anymore- I can do all those tricks because my coach used to groom me."

"Like a dog?" Carlos asked horrified, James burst out into laughter "no dude- she thought he was good enough to compete nationally, at like big events."

Kendall blinked, big events? "Like… the Olympics?" Logan flushed "if I had wanted it badly enough… probably, but I loved school and hanging out with James and all the stupid extra curricular stuff we used to do. To compete on a national level you have to eat, drink breath gymnastics and… I just didn't want it bad enough."

He spun the dial and it landed on Kendall, Logan smirked "okay so James sold Kelly on me coming here claiming me to be the responsible one. Kelly agreed because she didn't want a repeat of what she called 'the cop car incident' care to explain?"

Kendall laughed "oh that is not EVEN what it sounds- so me and Carlos have done some pretty bad shit." He brags, fist bumping with Carlos "but the cop car thing is the only thing I ever got charged for."

James leant back in his chair, this aught to be good. He already had first hand experience on how impulsive and crazy Kendall could be.

"So firstly you should know Carlos' dad is a cop- like a high ranking cop" the two boy's eyebrows shot up… that was unexpected. "So generally he just locks us in a cell over night when he catches us doing something stupid and doesn't put it on the record."

"Is that legal?" Logan asked worriedly "small town" Kendall replies flippantly. "Anyway he's dad got a promotion when we were like fourteen and got this really cool car."

"Oh no" James moaned "yeah" Carlos said gravely. "So you hotwired the car?" Logan guessed but it just made Carlos moan louder "he TRIED!" Logan raised his eyebrow "so you… failed?"

"There may have been a small electrical fire" Kendall admitted and Carlos scoffed "small? You blew up my dad's car- a police car! And it your eyebrows didn't grow back for like to months!" Kendall stroked his eyebrows protectively "They never did quite grow back right…"

Kendall didn't even bother spinning the dial and stared down James, "so James- seeing as you're a giant sissy-" James let out a noise of disagreement but Kendall continued, "what is the most badass thing you ever did?"

James looked thoughtful "define badass?" Kendall leaned back in his chair hands behind his head, confident that James had nothing. "Something" he drawled "that would impress me."

"I've made out with twenty-five different girls" he offered finally. Kendall's eyes nearly fell out of his head "tw-twenty-f-f-five?" he repeated, James smirked realizing he had unintentionally impressed Kendall (and made Logan glare at him- he had never been a fan of James' 'body count' as he liked to call it.)

"You've dated twenty-five girls?" Carlos gaped "nah dude" James said casually "I've dated like sixteen- I said I've made out with twenty-five."

"You're a giant slut James- wait did you say twenty-five?" Logan said and James flushed "wasn't it twenty-four when we left Wisconsin?"

"Sooooo you remember that blonde stewardess?" Logan groaned "the one in her twenties?" James nodded smugly, "she was totally in to me- and maybe I said I was eighteen but it's not like we exchanged licenses and registration."

"Of which you have neither James because you're underage" Logan chastised "if you had gone further it's statutory." James scratched his head "I didn't think those laws applied when you were airborne" Logan made a choking sound.

"I'm afraid to leave you alone sometimes" James just grinned at him and turned to Kendall "badass enough for you?"

It was because seriously twenty-five? That kicked the shit out of his two, and Carlos' zero and Logan's… however many Logan had.

James spun the dial.

This was going to be an interesting night…

**Please Review**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: I was a little lost with this chapter, but after I started it all sort of fit together. I just realized this story (and my other multi-chap fic four humours) have overtaken the word count of Ice-cream Sunday (which had previously been my highest word count for a multi-chap fic.) So yay! I thought I'd dedicate this chapter to tank602 who has reviewed every chapter (I thought I'd dedicate the next 2 chapters to my two other constant reviewers.) So anyway tank602 this one is for you! : )**

The next day was a little bit different from the last couple of days. Their status as a band had been confirmed and they were staying in California. Mrs. Knight had even called a real-estate agent in Minnesota so they could start renting the house out for at least three months.

They had been given an official day off (the last one they would have in a while- Kelly had warned them.) Kendall and Carlos had planned the day accordingly to sleep in late and then bug Mrs. Knight into taking them to see the sights.

They made their appearance around ten (not as late as either boy would have liked but their stupid internal clock told them it would be time for hockey practice in Minnesota.) After a quick search they realized the apartment was empty.

"So- no cooked breakfast?" Carlos asked miserably looking around as if hoping one of the Wisconsin boys might jump out holding a stack of pancakes screaming 'gottcha!' they both waited a moment in baited breath and when neither boy showed they both sighed dejectedly. That really would have endeared James to Kendall… oh well.

Kendall wandered over to the fridge, as it seemed he would be stuck with cereal (and what was up with that? Didn't he work hard? Didn't he deserve a hot breakfast?) There was a note on the fridge, with several different styles of handwriting. It seemed someone had been thoughtful enough to leave a note and everyone had tagged on to their idea.

_Dear household-_

_I've gone searching for a gym, I'll be back later but if you would like to meet up for lunch just text me._

_-Sincerely L_

_P.S I made some chocolate pancakes and put them in the microwave for you guys. _

"Pancakes!" Carlos squealed rushing over to the microwave and ripped the door open to find an empty plate with a few crumbs. Carlos' eyebrows furrowed and he lifted the plate. "I don't see them" Carlos whined.

Kendall continued to read the note (though with left enthusiasm seeing as someone ate all his pancakes.)

**Gone 2 d pool 2 check out local talent **

**taking Katie with me **

**(meeting up with Loges 4 lunch so don't call him Kendork) **

**Love Jamez **

**P.S all the pancakes r belong to me**

"I don't even understand what that means" Kendall scratched his head. It seemed like James didn't want to text Logan- so he put it on his to do list.

"That bastard ate all the pancakes?" Carlos cursed James out and began plotting his revenge.

Dear boys,

I've gone looking for a job; I should be gone for most of the day. Kendall don't cause to much trouble sweetie and Carlos please don't eat all the fish sticks we're eating those for dinner.

LOVE mum

Kendall groaned "what does she mean don't cause too much trouble?" he asked Carlos, who shrugged "donno- what do you wanna do today?"

Kendall stroked his chin "I donno yet… let's annoy James at the pool and see where the day takes us!"

Carlos cheered, and they high-fived.

Oh yeah it was going to be a good day.

******BTR******

James had been relaxing on a floating chair in the pool. He'd had a pool back in Wisconsin (it was heated and possibly bigger than the Palmwood's one- his mum had installed it when he'd shown some interest in joining the swim team.)

It wasn't the same though, in fact everything was very different than Wisconsin.

For starters; he had never lived communally before (even though Logan had slept over at his place more often than not) and he was just coming to terms with things like sharing bathrooms and hiding his candy stash. It was all very odd and foreign.

He had been nervous about rooming with Logan- not that they hadn't done that a lot, but they had never SHARED a space. They were both notorious for being only children. It had always shown.

He should have wasted the energy worrying over it though; Logan had unpacked their stuff properly early this morning. A system had been made (with James getting more than his fair share closet space and Logan got primary control of the desk) and it all seemed to be working out.

Sharing a space with the Knight family was difficult though. He had taken an instant liking to Mrs. Knight (as had Logan) who acted like a mother they might have seen on a TV show and cared about what they did. He could tell there were going to be future arguments in store for him and her (stupid stuff like curfews and bringing girls into his room) but he was actually looking forward to that. It would be like someone other than Logan cared what he did with his time.

He cracked an eye open and his gaze fell on Katie, who was extorting money out of the cleaning staff. He had grown fond of the pint-sized entrepreneur, even if she did do odd things like jump on him every time she saw him. He also had the feeling she watched him sleep when they had all fallen asleep on the couch (a painful exercise as Logan made him carry Kendall- who refused to wake up- to bed before he could hit the hay.)

Her brother and his friend were a different case. He liked Carlos well enough- the boy was a riot and a half and sometimes felt like they shared a brain. Why he chose to hang out with that conniving bastard was beyond him. His eyebrows weren't even proportional to his face!

Speaking (well thinking) of the devil, the two boys were coming towards him. They walked with purposeful strides and had matching grins on there faces- that was… unsettling.

"Hey James" they chorused, which made the whole encounter go from unsettling to down right creepy. So he really should have known they were going to push him into the pool.

It was really obvious.

James was still furious anyway.

"My hair" he screeched and pulled himself out of the pool. His shirt was sopping and stuck to his chest like glue. Out of the corner of their eyes, the boys saw the Jennifers give him the once over.

James rolled his eyes, he had met them a few minuets ago and they had been way rude. That normally wouldn't bother James (he would go after them anyway) but Logan had given him this big speech last night about only kissing girls he actually wanted to date.

This move had oddly endeared him to them (probably the unattainable factor- James knew he certainly had a think for girls who didn't show obvious interest.) James had even started thinking of ways he and Logan could help Carlos score a date with one of the girls (a plan now completely out the window because the jerk wrecked his hair- this much pretty didn't just HAPPEN! it took time and dedication! God!)

James' hair was sticking to his forehead, but his reflection in the water told him he still looked good.

Kendall actually seemed perturbed by this and muttered, "does he ever look LESS than perfect?" to Carlos. The small Latino boy shrugged and James smirked like the cat that got the cream. Of course Kendall was jealous of his superior appearance. It was all so obvious to him now. What with his unsightly eyebrows and uneven hair tone (James was actually itching to do something about both those flaws- but why would he want to HELP Kendall?)

James looked up to find a girl giving him the eyes and James smirked at her. She MIGHT be girlfriend material... "Dude!" Kendall hissed, "That's the girl I thought Logan might like" James immediately dropped his eyes. The only girl Kendall had mentioned... was the crazy one.

"I thought you said she was weird?" the girl approached him and they all tensed up as she slapped him clear across the face. "Ah! Jesus! What was that for?"

"How could you Erik!" she screamed at him, James immediately noticed no one so much as flinched at this. Well maybe not immediately- James' FIRST reaction was to flinch away wildly. "I trust you with my heart! And all this time you've been sneaking around with another girl!"

"Whoa, whoa- nobody cheated on anybody" and then a little louder so all the good-looking girls near the pool could hear. "I've never even met you."

Kendall had the gall to laugh at him, "relax James" he put an ALMOST companionable hand on his shoulder "Camille is like this incredibly focused method actress."

James gave her the once over and she raised her eyebrow. "Got to say- I don't usually garner THAT type of reaction" James smirked her "oh don't worry. This here- this is window shopping."

He turned to Kendall and sighed, "well she IS his type," he admitted "but no way in hell is he gonna wanna date anyone this soon after a breakup- not after the dating disaster of 09'..."

"The dating disaster of 09'?" Carlos parroted curiously, James grimaced. "I have to tell you about Logan's ex sometimes- she was the craziest person I've ever met... Speaking of which."

He turned back to Camille who was staring at him with no small amount of amusement.

"How do you feel about setting things of fire?"

Camille raised an eyebrow "what kind of psycho do you think I am? Who sets a fire?" James gave her a shifty "no one- certainly nobody ever set fire to anyone's bed in a fit of rage- that would be crazy."

"Oh! Oh! When Kendall and I were nine we set my neighbour's tree on fire." Carlos said helpfully and Kendall grinned nostalgically "we were trying to be firemen..."

"Firemen don't START fires" James told him in a strained voice "well yeah... But have you ever tried to WAIT for a fire to start in a place that is mostly ice."

"The snow mostly put it out before we could work out how to use the hose anyway," Carlos told him sadly. "So we were going to set one inside but my stupid brother totally told on us..."

"HOW ARE YOU NOT IN PRISON RIGHT NOW?"

Kendall shrugged "small town sensibilities- nobody actually wants to see Carlos in jail... people love him back where we live." James' eyes narrow "what about you?"

"Oh plenty of people want to see me in jail" Kendall replied flippantly.

"They threw a party when he announced he was moving to California" Carlos told him in a confidential tone "and not the nice kind."

Camille snorted at Kendall "and you think I'M crazy?"

"I meant it as a compliment" he told her insincerely "plus you'll like Logan he's... very… tolerant."

"You're sweet... And weird, but anyway I've already got my eye on someone."

"WHAT? Who could be better than Logan?" James asked outraged, Camille blinked hard in surprise. "Oh um right well you see I've never met this Logan guy, so it's nothing personal."

James' shoulders relaxed "right" she grinned "so- do you still need me or can I storm off in my big dramatic huff now?"

James laughed, "I'd be offended if you didn't." Camille smiled at him "I like you random new guy" James grinned back "I like you too enthusiastic method actress."

Camille slapped him hard.

"I WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

And she stormed off crying, "I didn't say you could slap me again" he called after her in annoyance "soorrryy" she sang off in the distance.

James rubbed his cheek "she's really good."

******BTR******

Despite James' protests they all met up with Logan for lunch at a little Italian place not far from the Palmwoods. It had been Kendall's suggestion (it had been suggested to him by the questionable stoner who had retrieved the first aid kit for Logan when Kendall had injured himself a few days ago.)

They had beat Logan to the café by a considerable amount of time- apparently he been searching for a gym clear across town. "Why is he searching for gyms anyway?" Carlos whined stomach growling "there's a gym at the Palmwoods." He stared longingly at the women's food next to them; she was eating a piece of some kind of elaborate gourmet pizza.

"Because" James sighed, "that gym doesn't have any of the equipment he needs" he fiddles with the straw from his water. "Why the sudden interest in looking for a gym anyway? I thought he said he didn't enjoy gymnastics anymore?" Kendall asked curiously, he was hording all the complimentary bread from Carlos and was munching on them happily.

Kendall sent Carlos a gloating look and Carlos focuses his longing expression on the bread, making grasping motions in the air as if he could grab the bread from Kendall's grasp. "I think he said it mostly so I wouldn't feel guilty" James admitted, a conflicted expression across his face (Kendall could empathize to some degree, whenever he saw Carlos talk to his family on the phone- he could understand the shame of his selfishness without the conviction to regret his decisions.)

"Regardless- he got a call from Natalia yesterday" James told him gravely "his gymnastics coach?" Carlos piped up- James and Logan had spoken of her in terrified and reverent tones as if she could hear them all the way in Wisconsin. "She heard that we made the three month deal" James winced "how?" Kendall asked incredulously, his extended family wasn't even that in the loop.

"She knows everything," James told him seriously, "Anyway she has a cousin in California and Logan has to train under him… at least until he reaches 'his full potential' or some shit, I don't know… he never argues with her."

"So the gym?" Kendall prompts, "Her cousin runs it" James supplies "so when he's not working on Big Time Rush he'll be there."

"We'll never see him" Carlos squeaks, James sighs and nodded, "it'll be like when we were younger- I used to have to come down to the gym and talk to him while he practiced so we could hang out… or join him on his morning runs." James winced as if remembering something painful "it was an endurance thing… let's just say after a couple of years of THAT getting onto track team was a breeze."

"But you said he pulled back?" Kendall asked, "he never explained why… I assumed it had something to do with Lenore" James explained. "The dreaded ex" he clarified when the two boys cast him two equally confused looks "when I said he never argues with Natalia I meant it… but he's never been able to go against Lenore either. I'm not really sure on the details but I know there was a lot of property damage."

"Scary" Carlos muttered. "And totally unacceptable" Kendall tells him stubbornly "Logie should be able to do what he likes with his spare time" he bangs his fist on the table for emphasis and Carlos grins a rye grin at him. "And what's that Kendall? Hang out with you?" Kendall doesn't even bother to supress the smirk "of course- and you shouldn't be so quick to poke fun at my outrage Carlitos" he pokes the Latino in the side. "If he gets up early to train it'll be no more hot breakfasts for you."

"No" Carlos let out a shaky breath of horror, "not my pancakes!" Kendall gave him a grave nod, clearly winding the smaller boy up "Keeeennnndallll" Carlos whined. "Dooooo something."

"Oh I have a few plans" Kendall told him ominously James raised his hands defensively "I want no part in this." He told the blonde firmly, but gave him a small smile "just… make sure it works, okay?"

The conversation ends abruptly as Logan runs into the Café, he searches wildly before spotting the rest of his band. Kendall waves wildly at him "LOGIE!" James grabs Kendall's arm, pulling it down and shaking his head with a grin on his face.

Carlos jumped up and tackled the slighter boy "I missed you," he told Logan enthusiastically once they were both righted. "I stayed up with you guys for half the night" Logan laughed "how could you miss me?"

"James ate all the pancakes," Carlos told him sadly and Logan shot his friend a dirty look "James" he scolded. The taller boy bowed his head in what Logan hoped was regret but what they both knew was just so Logan wouldn't see James' rueful smile.

Logan ruffled Carlos' hair "you only love me for my cooking" he told the shorter boy struggling with laughter, Carlos nodded in agreement. "But what a great reason to love you" he replied affectionately. Carlos steered Logan over to the table and Kendall eagerly picked up his menu "Thank God!" he cheered, "James wouldn't let us eat until you got here."

James put a hand on Logan's arm and smiled, Logan sent him a warm smile in return and opened the other menu. "What do you feel like Loges?" James asked peering over his shoulder "hmm" Logan ran his finger down the list "maybe one of these complex sounding pizzas- do you want to share? Or are you still refusing to eat anything with cheese or bread in it?" Logan teased.

James looked thoughtfully at the menu and then over at the women who was just finishing off her own pizza "… well I guess if we share one…" Logan nudged the boy "it's not as if you wont be sweating it off anyway- Mr X seems very passionate in his quest to ensure we're all adequate dancers."

"HE'S worried about his reputation" Kendall snorted and signals the waitress to come over. She smiled widely at them "kids from the Palmwoods?" She guessed, "How'd you know?" James asked grinning; "you look the type" she pulled out her pad "I'm sure I'll see you all on a billboard or a bus or something in the future."

James beamed at the woman and Carlos nudged him excitedly "so what can I get you?"

"I'll have the spaghetti with garlic bread and another coke," Carlos piped up immediately, rubbing his hands together in excitement. "I'll have the linguini" Kendall added handing her the menu, "we'll get today's special pizza" James handed the other menu. "And just bring out a pitcher of coke" Logan added.

She wrote them down, Kendall looked around at the deserted Café and scratched his head. Shouldn't there be some kind of lunchtime rush?

"Did… you notice anything… odd about our waitress?" Carlos asked lowly, watching the retreating figure slip behind the counter. "Yeah- she's kind of… Chinese" James said bluntly "racist!" Kendall accused dramatically pointing a finger in James face, James swotted it away. "I'm serious- this whole place looks like a Chinese restaurant- I thought you said it was Italian."

"It is! At least that's what guitar dude said…" Kendall said unsurely "he did laugh rather unsettlingly afterwards- but I just thought it was because he was high!"

Logan looked around at what had now been identified as a pretty dodgy place they could be eating. "Weren't you sitting here for about half an hour?" he hissed and sunk into his chair as he caught the eye of the waitress who waved cheerfully at him. "Well yeah- but we were too busy scheming-" Carlos explained until both of his taller friends elbowed him punishingly in the ribs.

"Scheming?" Logan repeated, his eyes narrowed and he zeroed in one Kendall who stared back innocently. Logan turned to notoriously easy-to-crack best friend "scheming?" he asked again, James shook under the pressure and Kendall kicked him the shin, James jumped and his knees hit the table. Bringing it up into the air for a few seconds before crashing back down onto the floor, the table legs wobbled pathetically.

"Oh look- lunch is here" James said excitedly and they all turned as the waitress brought out the food. "That was quick" Kendall muttered in a worried tone, Logan's eyes didn't leave James' face "this is not over" he promised. James shook again, because he knew that was true.

Kendall picked at his pasta- or what the waitress insisted was pasta. It sort of looked like porridge, with a gluggy glue like consistency.

The pizza was nowhere near as appetizing up close, Logan poked it experimentally and it began to crawl across the table. James hit it hard with his spoon and it made a whimpering puppy noise and stopped moving.

"You made our food cry James" Logan said slightly hysterically, and James patted him on the back.

"I think my pasta sauce is actually tomato paste," Carlos said in distaste and his three friends looked up from their infinitely worse dishes to give him a look. "What?" Carlos cried defensively "That's terrible" he insisted.

He stirred the jug of coke; it didn't look like the ones they had been drinking before Logan came. This was thicker, smooth and greasy like an oil slick.

"All those in favour of bailing say eye" Kendall rushed, the three other boys all raise their hands "eye!"

The waitress watched the boys rush from the table and out of the café in annoyance. "Hollywood types" she muttered, "they have no stomach."

******BTR******

The boys ended back up in the empty apartment and Carlos rattled around the kitchen. "I can make pizza rolls" he offered, "I'll help" Kendall offered charitably but Carlos threw up his hand, eyes wide. "NO!" he yelled, "no- Kendall don't!" he almost looked like he was in a trance; Kendall threw up his hands and exited the kitchen.

"What was that?" James asked in horror, "post traumatic stress disorder" Carlos told him seriously "the only think Kendall has ever cooked in the kitchen is his eyebrows."

"They grew back" Kendall called from the couch "yes- but not for the better" James teased hopping onto the couch next to the sulking blonde.

"Can I help?" Logan asked tentatively, Carlos snapped out of his daze and smiled widely at the boy "can you?"

He grabbed the thinner boy's wrist and dragged him into the belly of the kitchen, "this'll be great!" he gave a fleeting look to the two boys now bickering on the couch "and it'll give James and Kendall some bonding time."

"Is that wise?" Logan asked fearfully Carlos nodded "it's best they get used to each other now." Logan shuddered "but what if they kill each other?" Carlos grinned and slung his arm around his friend "well then Logie" he laughed, "you and I will finally get our own bedrooms."

"I heard that!" Kendall called furiously, breaking his argument with James to glare at the two smaller members of Big Time Rush. "Dude" James hit him lightly on the chest "don't make threatening overtones at the people making you lunch" he lectured. "This is why you'll never get married" Kendall snorted "of course I will- who doesn't want to get married, there's someone out there for me."

"I don't intend to" James told him and Kendall gaped "w-why?" He couldn't imagine not having that as a life goal, but James just shrugged "don't misunderstand me- I fully intend to find someone other than Logan to spend the rest of my life with… its just… marriage tends to ruin everything."

Kendall thought about his own parents depressing love life, but then he thought of the Garcias. They were the most in love couple Kendall had ever seen, "that's just bleak man" he decided and patted James awkwardly on the shoulder. "You shouldn't say stuff like that- who know how you'll feel ten years from now."

"Probably about the same" James laughed, "Loges says I'm very bull-headed."

Kendall snorted, "Can't really disagree." James snickered and sunk into the couch.

"So what is it?" James asked morbidly "what it what?" Kendall asked, feeling the sudden mood whiplash of the conversation. "What did I do to piss you off so badly?"

Kendall shrugged "nothing really- you're just kind of fun to mess with" Kendall was never one to beat around the bush. James face scrunched up with distaste "figures" he shoved the boy "I have you know I don't like you either but for real tangible reasons… like you're a idiot."

"Hey!" Kendall shoved the boy "I hate you for real reasons too- like you're face annoys me!" He jumped on top of the shorted boy only for the blonde to push back. James hit his head on the armrest and Kendall caught James' flailing fist on his cheek.

"Oh it's on!" Kendall hollered, fists flailing trying to come into contact with anything that looked remotely James-like.

"Hey!" Logan stuck his head out of the kitchen, pointing a spatula menacingly (what would he even need a spatula for? They were supposed to be making pizza rolls!) "You guys better not be fighting" he handled the spatula the way a ninja might handle a sword (and that reminded Kendall he still needed to make those throwing stars for Carlos.)

They both ceased fighting and Kendall jumped smoothly off of James who was panting for breath and trying to stop himself from falling off the couch. "Logie- why would you assume we're fight?" He asked innocently, Logan just narrowed his eyes "you're always fighting- I don't think you even need a reason anymore… but you're going to have to stop!"

"Why?" James asked from the couch "I can't help it Loges- I see that tool's smug face and I have the desire to punch him in the face." Kendall glared at him and rubbed the spot where James got in a lucky shot "becccaaauusee." Logan drawled out and gave them a look that clearly indicated it would be easier having an intellectual conversation with infants.

"We will start having interviews and stuff soon, that's what the whole look thing the stylists were working on was for- we have to present a specific look." James sunk onto the couch battle clearly lost for him, Logan slapped Kendall over the head "plus it's giving me a massive headache."

He wandered back into the kitchen but called out to James "We've got cable- I think they're showing greatest hits on the sports channel."

James eyes lit up and began flicking channels. "Greatest hits?" Kendall repeated suspiciously, cable didn't show ice hockey nearly enough… so that would mean…

"Oh great!" James cheered "LOGES HURRY UP! THERE'S A PACKERS GAME ON!"

They were expecting him to watch football?

Dirty Wisconsinites.

Kendall couldn't be held responsible for the impending fight with James for the remote. After all… all bets were off when it came to a man's right not to have to sit through football.

******BTR******

Kendall left James and Logan alone- to do… football fan stuff. Erg. He didn't care if they were all sort of friends now, there was just something sick and wrong about being a football fan.

Carlos predictably followed, though he did stick around initially seeing as he didn't finish cooking until halftime. Carlos had always complained about the lack of hot cheerleaders in ice hockey and stuck around for the singing that followed.

Once the actual football was back on he bailed in a similar manner to Kendall (though he didn't smack James around before his left.) So the two friends ended up in Palmwoods Park, playing aimlessly of the play equipment they were well aware they were too old for.

"Hey" they both looked up from where Kendall was spinning Carlos around in circles on the swing. "Hey Katie-kat!" Carlos said brightly and then squealed as Kendall let go of the chains, making him spin in circles at an alarming pace.

"Don't call me that" she snapped in annoyance, hands on her hips. "What are you doing in the park anyway- aren't you a bit old to be doing this?" Kendall jumped up to stand on the vacant swing next to Carlos and rocked until he was swinging. "No way baby sister, you're never to old to have fun on a swing set" she grinned at her and jumped down off it again. Motioning for her to sit in his place, she sighed and leant against the nearby slide.

"One of us has to be the mature one" she scolded him, he rolled his eyes "yes but should it really be the ten year old?" he grinned even wider at her, patting the seat in a tempting manner. "Probably not- but you're not growing up anytime soon."

"Haven't you heard?" Carlos laughed, "that's the exact reason Logan's in the band," Carlos laughed. Kendall turned to him in surprise "what?" Carlos dug in his heels and he finally stopped spinning "James said that he convinced Kelly that Logan should join the band because he could keep you in line."

"Good call" Katie snorted, "that boy totally has you whipped." Kendall let out a cry of outrage "WHAT? No he doesn't" Katie rolled her eyes "okay maybe whipped is the wrong word- but I've never seen you rein yourself in for anyone before… except me and now him."

"It's not FOR him, it's FOR the band" Kendall snipped, Kendall was feeling a strange kind of brotherly affection for Logan but he hadn't realised anyone noticed. He felt the same way about Carlos; but Carlos was the type of brother you convince to skate off a large hill because you want to see if he could. Logan was the kind of brother who helped you with your homework and you beat up anyone who hurt him.

And James… he wasn't sure what kind of brother he was. Maybe they were like brothers that were born a little too close together, not a little brother or an older brother. Just a constant competitor for well, everything.

And James was winning too. He could feel it.

"You okay bro?" Katie was suddenly really close "you spaced out there for a moment." Kendall grabbed her by the waist on impulse and slung her onto the swing, she squealed in surprise. "Don't fight me Katie," he yelled as she squirmed "your defeat is inevitable and the more you struggle the more people realise you cant defend yourself against me!"

Katie stopped struggling and Kendall lifted the swing (and subsequently Katie as well) and pulled as far back as he could, lifting her high in the air almost above his head. "Say death wish" he jeered and then let go sending her rocketing forward high into the air that her feet touched the low branches of a near by tree.

She screamed and Kendall couldn't be quite sure whether it was in delight or mortification. "Come on Kendall" Carlos taunted, "I know you can do better than that" Kendall pushed her even harder when the swing was back into his hands, lifting her even higher.

"I bet you can swing her all the way around- come on she barely weighs anything- I bet you can do it!"

Katie's knuckles are going white and she screams "No!" even though she can't keep the laughter out of her voice. She really wishes she could though, cause this is not how the future CEO of whatever-demographic-that-catches-her-eye-when-she's-older is supposed to conduct themselves.

Carlos stands next to Kendall and combines their force to send her even higher into the air until she's almost upside down when she's at her highest point. Katie rationally knows if they don't put twice as much force behind the next push she'll come crashing down instead of completing the full circle over the swing set. Geez! Where was Logan when you need him?

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Kendall and Carlos' hands still immediately and Katie's once forceful momentum peters out enough that she can jump off the swing harmlessly, rolling onto the sand. Logan is standing close to the swing set hands on hip and eyebrows raised. James is eating a hotdog and standing ineffectively next to him "relax Loges- they're just messing around."

"Messing around? They could have killed her! She was this close to hitting her head on the bar!" Logan looked furious and Carlos' eyes went wide, he took his helmet off and placed it on Katie's head, "we were just having fun- we didn't think-"

"No! You didn't!" Logan glared and both boys shrunk back. Both were acutely aware they lacked the little voice that told you when something was a bad idea. It seemed that it had finally manifested into a human being. Logan was their conscious.

"Sorry Katie" Kendall immediately apologised- he loved Katie more than he'd ever loved anything. He didn't think he was close to hurting her. When Carlos and Kendall were younger they used to try and make it over the bar all the time… though he supposed two hockey playing sixteen year olds pushing a ten year old were going to be a little stronger than a ten year old pushing another ten year old.

Katie ran and jumped into Logan's arms "thanks Logan" she whispered. She knew it wasn't as bad as he was making it out to be, there hadn't been a great chance of her hitting her head and she was aware they had been watching the exchange before it got out of control. He had only intervened when he saw the look of terror on her face.

She knew her brother and surrogate brother didn't mean anything by it. They were being affectionate (the only way the two dangerous sixteen year olds knew how) she was still glad Logan had put a stop to it before it got out of control.

She wondered what her brother would been like if he had always know Logan- if he always had someone who knew when to hit the breaks on their little 'adventures.' He'd probably have had less broken bones growing up that's for sure…

She hooked her legs around Logan's waist and he laughed at her. She turned to James "you" she declared pointing at him in the face, "are no longer my favourite" his face fell "awwwww." He whined, "you're still the prettiest" she amended so he would smile at her again.

The tall boy beamed at her and Logan hoisted her so he could hold her properly "come on" he laughed, "how about I buy you some fairy floss?"

James and Katie cheered and Carlos raced towards them. Katie climbed over Logan like a monkey so he could give her a piggyback ride instead and Logan looked back to see Kendall wasn't following.

"Erg you're SO heavy Katie" he said with fake effort, she laughed and smacked him "I think I need someone stronger to help me." James and Carlos immediately decided to duel for the honour and Logan put her gently on the ground and doubled back to the swings.

"What? You don't like fairy floss?" he joked, jogging up to Kendall who was sitting morosely on the swing drawing pictures in the sand with his foot. Logan could briefly make out a surprisingly good picture of himself before Kendall stomped on it viciously.

"I always thought I was a good big brother" he told Logan moodily "but turns out I wasn't even doing that right!"

Logan sat down on the vacant swing. "You're crazy Kendall- the way Katie looks at you… I've never seen anybody love another person that much, and you look at her the same way."

He kicks off and swings just enough so his feet don't hit the ground. "You're not just her brother you know" he grins at him "your kind of like her dad- don't think I haven't noticed."

Kendall flushed "well he's never around" Logan jumps off and pats Kendall on the back. "Well you're doing a great job- just remember nobody get's it right a hundred precent of the time."

Kendall snorted, "Yeah- just look at your singing" Logan cuffs him over the back of the head. "MY singing? I guess that's fair to say when you're… what did Griffin say? The 'ultimate' package," Logan teased. Kendall grinned ruefully "how do you know just what to say?"

Logan shrugged "what can I say" he throws his hands behind his head "I'm a genius" he gloats. Kendall stands up and giggles "also" Logan added, "I've had a lot of practice."

"James is kind of like my brother" he smiles fondly "so I've learned how do give good brotherly advice "also- junk food is the answer to everything."

Kendall laughed, Logan was probably right. Kendall was liking California more and more with each passing minuet "so- you're going to buy me some fairy floss right?"

"No fool- you can buy your own" Logan snorted and took off after the others. Kendall stood dumbfounded for a second before chasing after him with the intent to tackle him.

"Buuuuuuttttt Loooooooggggggiiiie!"

**As always: Please Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: The game today is called: spot the references (either to the show or to any of my other stories) because I seemed to have included a whole lot! In keeping with that thing I said I'd do I am dedicating this chapter to Cheeky Brunette- so you can thank the abundance of Carlos and Logan moments to her. Thanks for reviewing **

The four boys sat sullenly in the small room in Rocque records Gustavo had set aside for them, and tried not to flinch as their teacher; Mr Smitty paced in front of them. There was nothing particularly physically intimidation about the man, who stood at a modest 5'7 and wore librarian style glasses but for what he lacked physically he more than made up with sheer intensity. Well that and his SEVERE hatred for boy bands and all things boy band related things- this seemed to included Big Time Rush (no matter how much Kendall protested they were more a vocal group than a boy band.)

He had yet to teach them anything remotely useful except to what percentage the band had of failing. Apparently the number was quite high. Logan insisted the math was wrong but had gotten his fingers smacked with a ruler for the trouble.

"Ow" Logan whined and Carlos rubbed his back, make small sympathetic noises. Kendall glared at the man "what is your problem man?" The man glared back "MY problem is none of YOUR business, what YOUR problem is however- well that's a different matter entirely."

"I hate you" James muttered at Kendall as he wrote 'the probability of success in the music business in less than 0.2' on the board. Kendall glared back, he had barely made a dent on his chalkboard where he was supposed to write 'nobody got anywhere with big stupid eyebrows' over and over. "This isn't my fault, I was just defending Logie."

"Yeah lay off James" Logan sighed finishing 'pop music is an intellectual vortex' in small neat writing, covering the entire board. "Kendall didn't say anything I wouldn't have" Logan wiped his chalk stained hands on his pants and then whimpered when he realised his mistake, long strips of white marring his black pants.

"He's been really good about not trying to destroy our teacher" he added affectionately and patted the side of the taller boy's head. Kendall grinned in a self-satisfied manner, Carlos sighed throwing his chalk to the ground. The sloppy uneven words 'there is no place for helmets in a classroom' stared at him mockingly.

"I don't wanna go to the school of Rocque- we gave it a week Logie, I can't take it here," he leant over and sobbed into the smart boy's shoulder. Logan patted his back awkwardly, and Kendall paced the front "yeah that's right- we tried it your way Logie, but it's just not getting any better."

"So what do you suppose?" James asked snarkily and pulled Logan away from Carlos. Kendall and Carlos both looked thoughtful.

"Mrs Knight could home-school us?" Carlos offered and Logan shook his head "she tried that with Katie remember? She couldn't teach fourth grade math, what makes you think she can handle OUR school work?"

"Plus you have to meet like a whole bunch of requirements- it's actually way more difficult than it sounds," Kendall sighed "I looked up the paperwork when she came up with the idea… I didn't really have the heart to tell her she probably wouldn't qualify."

"The tutoring does make sense," James told them "it's what they do with most child actors."

"Unless you don't have a steady gig" Kendall reminded them with a glint in his eye "like Katie- she goes to that make-shift school at the Palmwoods." He rubbed his hands together and Carlos grinned, "That can't be a good education- I had a look at Katie's curriculum, they only teach the barebones of a curriculum due to time issues."

"Better than here" Kendall argued and Logan conceded, James shook his head "Mr Rocque would never go for it, the whole point of us having a tutor was because it was flexible with our schedule. We do dancing in the morning, school and then harmonies- the Palmwoods kids start class in the morning and finish at noon."

"Gustavo MAKES our schedule" Kendall points out, "If we wanted we could have school in the morning, then dancing and harmonies."

Logan and James sighed and Kendall threw up his hands in victory, "so it's decided!" he grinned "we never said-" James began to argue but Carlos threw a hand over his mouth, grinning at Kendall "precede oh fearless leader."

"Oh yes do go on" Logan smirked arms crossed, "I cant wait to see what half baked scheme you come up with."

"It's not half baked" Kendall cried defensively "it's FULLY baked- stick a fork in it, it's done." Logan snorted, "You're kind of stupid you know that?" Kendall swiped at Logan "shut up dude!" Logan darted out of the blonde's reach and slapped James' hand the Wisconsin boys sniggered together.

"Don't be like that" Carlos laughed at Logan, trying to be a good friend and maintain composure- but mostly failed. "You've never been apart of a 'Kendall plan,' they're fool proof" he told Logan sincerely, he didn't make eye contact with James- who was currently heavily involved in a 'Kendall plan' without Logan's knowledge. Operation 'free Logan' was still in the early stages.

"Fool proof? How does a fool make a plan fool proof?" Logan scoffed and Kendall threw his math book at his head. Logan blocked it easily without even looking at the direction the projectile had come from. Kendall gaped for a moment; his eyes went vacant like he had retracted so far within himself that Kendall simply wasn't present in his physical body.

Carlos must be used to reaction because he clasps Kendall's shoulder roughly and asks loudly "you right buddy?"

"Hmm?" Kendall responds before he springs to life, bounding over to Logan and grabbing his hands hold them close in a manner similar to that of a married couple. "Logan" he said seriously, Logan tried to pull away- Logan didn't like his new nickname but it was weird and troublesome when Kendall didn't use it. "You were meant to be a goalie, you NEED to learn more about hockey!"

Logan sighed with relief and James sprung up pulling Logan from Kendall's clutches "no he doesn't- he's perfectly happy with football?" he turns to Logan imploringly "right?" Logan nods at James "I've never really seen ice hockey" a mischievous smile broke across his face "but I could give it a try."

Kendall's face broke out into an enthusiastic smile just as James' fell, 'why is Kendall trying to steal my best friend from me?' he thought angrily 'and more importantly- why was Loges letting him?'

"There is one condition though" Logan winked at James and James smiled back- of course, Logan was teasing Kendall!

"I'll learn hockey if you learn football."

Kendall went white "dude" Carlos muttered, "that's cold." Kendall formed a steely resolve "you will LOVE ice hockey" he promised "and if that means I have to" he shudders violently like slime had dripped down his back "sit through football… then so be it."

"Really?" Logan laughed, he didn't think Kendall would say yes- he practically fled the room the one time Logan and James had attempted to watch a Packers game. "No Kendall" Carlos squeaked and clutched at the blonde "your so young! You have so much to live for!"

"I must" Kendall told Carlos bravely and Carlos sobbed looking up at his friend in horror and awe. "It's a FOOTBALL game" James rolled his eyes "you know- America's pass time… IT'S WEIRD YOU DON'T LIKE FOOTBALL!"

Mr Smitty stuck his head back into the classroom "I DON'T HEAR DREAMS BREAKING!" he screamed and they all snapped back to their boards.

"PLEASE let me get rid of him" Kendall muttered to Logan, "QUIET!" Logan grimaced as Mr Smitty smacked his hand that had been resting on the table with a ruler. It was the same hand as before and blood welled up around his nail beds and discoloured under the nail.

"Do what you have to do."

******BTR******

Getting rid of Mr Smitty had been entirely too easy for Kendall and after Kelly had heard of his mistreatment of her boys she promised them she'd find a teacher (after carefully bandaged Logan's hand.)

That was going to take time though- it seemed Gustavo's original plan with teachers was took look one up in the directory and call until he found one that would start immediately and work for his abysmal rates. Which is how he had found Mr Smitty.

They had a school free rest of the week. Kelly even reorganised the schedule so they didn't have work till noon and could sleep in late- that wasn't the plan though. With everyone at the Palmwoods school, the pool was empty and it's lobby and park in a similar deserted state.

"I'm not to steady on skates Kendall" Logan admitted as he skated wobbily around the lobby, "I don't think the carpet's helping." Kendall laughed skating circles around the boy, "we're doing this inside for a reason Logie; 1) the carpet will absorb most of the shock if- no **when** you fall 2) people will SEE you if we go to the park and 3) the most important one- look how much it upsets Bitters."

Logan turned and saw a fuming hotel manager stalking towards them; Kendall grabbed his arm dragging him along. "Let's book it!" He screeched and led them out into the pool area at a frightening pace. Logan might even have screamed- he didn't know for sure, he was blocking the ordeal out.

"Man- I wish they could empty the pool" Kendall sighed and let go of Logan so he could complete daring laps dangerously close to the pool edge. Logan collapsed on a beach chair and began to wrestle with the skates. Kendall skidded to a stop to stare at Logan "Aw Logie! Don't quit!" he raced over to where Logan just as the smaller boy had successfully freed himself from the confines of the second skate.

"It's too late Kendall," he told him solemnly "some people were just not meant to skate." Kendall's face scrunched up "yeah some people- but not you! Weren't you having fun?" he gave Logan sad puppy dog eyes and Logan immediately looked away before the green eyes could get to him.

That question was like a loaded gun- no matter what way he pointed it someone was going to get hurt. If he said he was having fun he would be physically hurt- Kendall would make him skate some more and he would eventually break something in an extremely embarrassing manner and he would die from shame.

OR he could tell Kendall he hated skating and have to put up with first 'mopey Kendall' (which was really intolerable) and then 'determined Kendall' who would try to win him over. Finally 'smug Kendall' when he got his way and Logan folded and told him he thought skating was fun. Which would leading him back to the embarrassing injury and the shame death he had been trying to avoid in the first scenario.

None of those options sounded good so Logan settled for pushing Kendall into the pool and promised himself he would deal with it all another day.

"Mother f-"

Kendall hit the water like a ton of bricks through a glass plate (his skates! Oh God! Logan was SO getting him another pair.) Kendall floundered for a moment- the skates dragging him down until his hand caught the edge of the pool and he could pull himself up. "Oh I am going to KILL you Mitchell."

After several minuets of struggling, Kendall decided not to make good on his promise and they went upstairs (though he was going to give Logan a copy of hockey weekly and order him some new god damned skates.)

Carlos and James were playing some kind of marathon of video games. They had pooled their resources- James' racing games vs. Carlos' fighter games... and stole Logan's Mario cart games though they left Kendall's various strategy games untouched. They were fighting for some world championship.

Katie was sitting at the table begrudgingly, surrounded by cardboard, glitter and glue. Kendall plopped down next to Katie "hey baby sister" he patted her hair affectionately and she glowered at him. He retracted his hand as if he just realised he was patting a rabid pit-bull (close enough really.)

"whatcha doing?" he asked hesitantly and moved to sit next to Logan so he might have a human shield (he deserved it after he pushed him in the pool anyway.)

"I'm making a stupid belt for their stupid tournament" she glared at the belt with malice- it was starting to take belt shape... but just barely. Logan laughed and Kendall looked at him in horror trying to subtly move away from Logan so Katie knew he was in no way associated with the guy who has some kind of death wish.

"How'd they rope you into that?" Logan asked and Katie sighed, showing her affection for the boy by not attacking him immediately. "James asked... I may have looked into his eyes."

"Ohhh" Logan laughed again patting her back sympathetically "never do that!"

Katie glared at him annoyance "yeah well I know that NOW! Where were you ten minuets ago?" Logan was smart enough to slowly back out of her range before she got aggravated enough to hit him.

"Well..." Logan said thoughtfully "we could help." both Knights' faces lit up "YEAH" Kendall told her enthusiastically "we could TOTALLY help!" Kendall grabbed excitedly at the glitter and Logan snatched it out of his hand "careful with that!"

"Why's that Logie?" he asked innocently and flicked him with the glitter, it landed in his hair. "Ah!" Logie began furiously trying to remove the glitter from his hair, "you asshole- you know glitter is the herpes of craft supplies!"

Kendall grins smugly at him "it just keeps coming back- you'll be finding it in your hair for weeks." He gleefully wiped a streak of persistent glitter from his friend's face. Logan smacked his arm away in annoyance.

Katie shook her head as Kendall tried to throw more glitter at him. "Don't ruin my belt" she held it protectively to her chest "it's to beautiful for you to ruin."

Kendall admired the WWE like belt and then his eyes narrowed; something leather caught his eye underneath all the cardboard and paint. "Katie" he said slowly "that BETTER NOT be my belt."

Katie looked down in the belt and the squeaked and ran off with it. "Katie Apple Knight you come back here!" he yelled chasing after her. "Don't you middle name me" she screeched disappearing out the door with Kendall hot on her tail.

Logan sighed and shook his head; gold glitter fell from his hair in sheets. "Son of a bitch" he glared angrily at the seat Kendall had once occupied.

"Hey James" he called out "Hmmm" James responded eyes never leaving the screen (they hadn't for two hours.) "So COMPLETELY hypothetical question- if one were to get a mass amount of glitter in his hair how would one get it out?"

"What?" James jerked looking over at Logan; Carlos used this moment of temporary weakness to deliver the final blow to James' character. "YES!" Carlos screamed, "I AM THE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!"

"Crap" James threw his controller on the ground "I have some disputes" he told Carlos and tackled him. "No quit it! Stop being such a sore loser I've got a belt to collect."

Carlos struggled as James unsuccessfully tried to keep him close to the ground (Minnesotans fight dirty and Carlos was not above scratching and biting.)

Logan spotted Kendall catching up to Katie poolside and Logan advised Carlos that he better catch them quickly or Kendall was sure to dismantle that belt. He smiled smugly- setting a riled up Carlos on Kendall would be fitting justice, and if Carlos was successful Kendall would be down his only belt.

Carlos kicked James, finally wiggling free and raced out of the apartment. James pouted and laid himself out on the floor.

"James- get up off the floor" Logan commanded, James rolled onto his side and pouted at Logan. "No" he said childishly and thrashed on the floor, Logan rolled his eyes "I'm sorry I made you loose."

James' eyes lit up "you said there was something wrong with your hair?" Logan ran his hand through his hair and sighed "Kendall threw glitter in my hair."

James gasped "glitter? But that's the herpes of craft products!" Logan nodded mopey expression across his face. "That's what I said."

James' face was flooded with concern and then he sat up a wide terrifying smile bloomed across his face. Logan took a step back "James- what are you thinking?" James stood up and advanced on him.

"Logan your hair is simply a mess" Logan's eyes widened, James only ever said that when...

"I'll book you an appointment at The Diamond Solon!"

"No!" Logan yelped and tried to run away but James was far too quick "no James stop! You know I hate the diamond salon!"

"That's The Diamond Salon Logan" James scolded "with CAPITALS." Logan struggled ineffectively and attempted a less successful version of Carlos' kick.

"How would you know if I said it with or without capitals- it's not something you can hear" Logan struggled wildly as James dragged him to the bathroom. "That's where you're wrong Loges- I feel it in my bones."

"You feel grammar in your bones?" Logan would have laughed if he weren't in for what would be several unbearable hours of crazy hair care.

"DON'T QUESTION ME!"

James shoved Logan in the bathroom and followed closely behind. "HELP! KENDALL! CARLOS! ANYBODY!"

James smirked "in The Diamond Salon nobody can hear you scream," and the door slammed shut.

******BTR******

Their dancing was sloppy. Gustavo narrowed his eyes at the boys, as Carlos careened gracelessly into Logan and toppled them over.

Gustavo growled, what the hell was wrong with them? They couldn't handle a little tough love from their teacher, they couldn't handle a measly six hour dance practice- they hadn't even had to go to school this morning!

"WHAT THE HE'LL IS WRONG WITH YOU DOGS!"

Carlos glared at his blonde friend "why don't you ask Kendall" the blonde glared back. "Don't be such a baby just cause you couldn't" Carlos growled "you elbowed me in the gut- I have bruises!"

"Is THAT what this is about?" Gustavo asked, his annoyance intensifying- this never would have happened if they had been at school. Curse Mr Smitty and his man band getting back together. They were getting big in Sweden and were lined up to opened for Lovehandle in the summer. Stupid man band.

"Kendall" he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose "PLEASE apologize for hurting your band mate."

"Never!" Kendall replied predictably (maybe if he had demanded that they be angry at each other forever this would be sorted out by now.) "Well at least not until Carlos returns my belt."

Well... that explained why Kendall was going for the gangsta look today. He was perpetually holding his pants and only using one hand to do the dance moves. It had been a interesting fashion choice but Gustavo felt that he shouldn't throw stones if he lived in glass mansions.

"CARLOS please retur-" Gustavo started "NEVER! It's my trophy" Carlos clutched the gaudy homemade belt around his waist. "JUST GIVE IT TO ME!" Kendall shrieked and tackled Carlos to the ground.

Logan sidestepped them causing Gustavo's eyes to draw to the boy Gustavo usually referred to as the most forgettable member of the band. Gustavo openly gaped.

"Logan- what did you do to your hair?"

His short spiky hair was incredibly clean and looked something on par to luxurious... and it sparkled. Logan's hand flew up to his hair and he hissed at James "you SAID it wasn't obvious."

"It's not- he was probably talking about why it looks so good for once." Carlos who was still fighting on the floor stuck out a leg and kicked James' shin making him drop to the ground.

"I got your back bro" he called to Logan who beamed at Carlos in return- and felt really bad when James entered the fray with every intention to pile drive the smaller Latino boy into the ground.

Gustavo sighed pulling James and Kendall (who had been attacking Carlos' pants) off of Carlos and Logan helped him up.

"WHAT'S NOT OBVIOUS?" Gustavo screamed, he was well and truly at the end of his rope. "Kendall gave Logan glitter herpes" Logan and Kendall simultaneously slammed their heads against the nearest walls, waiting to hear the inevitable

"WHAT? I SAID NO INTERBAND DATING!"

Ah- right on time.

"James means Kendall threw glitter at Logan's hair" Carlos explained quickly and pulled at Logan's shoulder to stop him from banging his head against the wall.

"Is that why he's face is sparking like a twilight character?" Gustavo asked suspiciously, Logan groaned and Kendall snorted.

Carlos gasped excitedly and pointed an excusing finger at him "I knew it! You totally are a vampire! That's why you're so pale and you never sleep."

"I sleep" Logan said defensively- though he couldn't dispute the pale thing; several weeks in California had done nothing for his complexion. "Barely" James snorted and Logan glared at him.

Carlos jumped up and down excitedly "this is SO cool! My best friend is a vampire!" Kendall made a very annoyed sound "Carlos I'M your best friend."

Carlos crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out "you've been demoted to childhood acquaintance" Carlos looped his arms around Logan and rested his head on his shoulder. "Logan's my NEW best friend- and he's way cooler!"

"IS NOT!"

Logan stifled a laughed and pried Carlos' arms off him, the shorter boy pouted at him so his slung an arm over his shoulder.

"What the hell Carlos?" James yelled yanking the two apart and Carlos muttered "oh- I forgot you already had a best friend... never fear Logie I will fight for you!"

It was at this point Gustavo knew when to cut his losses when it came to the boys and slipped out. He'd check back up on them in an hour- where they would dance until their feet bled. But right now he needed some aspirin.

"FINE!" James slapped Carlos across the face with a glove "I challenge you to a duel!"

"Where did he even get that glove?" Logan muttered moving to hide behind Kendall "forget that" Kendall responded angrily "why does no one want to be MY best friend? Aren't I lovable?"

Logan patted him awkwardly "you're VERY lovable." Kendall beamed and shot a smug look towards the two other boys, who were to engrossed in slapping each other with gloves. "Now where did YOU get that glove?"

"Then it's settled" Carlos boomed "broad swords at dawn!" James shuddered "isn't dawn like really early?" they both turn to Kendall who nods in confirmation at pats Logan on the back, who was hiding in his hands.

"Broad swords at noon!" James declares grandly. "We have harmonies at noon" Kendall reminded them, grinning like a mad man. James looks a little put out before declaring "broad swords at 11!"

"No broad swords!" Logan yelled at they both looked cowed, "but then how are we going to fight Logie?" Carlos wined and Logan's eye twitches "you AREN'T!"

"No yeah Logan's right" Kendall told them smirking, Logan smiled at Kendall hopefully. "Not about the not fighting bit- that was just stupid" Logan's face fell "but no broad swords."

"Then what?" James asked clearly frustrated and Kendall's smirk deepened.

"I have an idea."

******BTR******

Logan wrung out his clothes. "Stupid Kendall" he muttered to himself "let's have a water balloon fight" he mimicked Kendall in a high pitched voice.

"MY VOICE DOSEN'T SOUND LIKE THAT!" Kendall called from the next room over and Logan glared at the door. "YES IT DOES! YOU SOUND LIKE A PREPUBESCENT CHIPMUNK!"

"SAY IT IN WORDS WE KNOW!" Carlos called and Logan sighed sinking on the bed pulling off his wet clothes and replacing them with sweats. He picked up his gym bag.

He stepped out into the living room where the other boys were nursing their water balloon related injuries (Logan had come out mostly unskaved due to his lack of participation- he was just relieved to see the boys seemed to have forgotten what they were arguing about.)

"Where you going?" James asked, he was lying face own on the couch, ice pack held to his face. "Gym" he answered shortly. The three boys groaned, "Blow it off Logie" Kendall commanded, "how often do we skip out on dance practice to have a water fight."

"Exactly once" he told them threateningly "and you know I can't- see you guys later."

Carlos pouted watching him leave "more like tomorrow."

James flopped back on the couch and patted Carlos hair unenthusiastically. "There, there Carlos" he sighed, "There's nothing we can do about it."

"Yes there is Kendall-" James cut him off "I'm going to stop you right there- I am NEVER getting involved in this scheme." Carlos pouted "why not?"

"Because you want to call up LENORE! And I have this rule where I don't talk to her ever if I don't have too!" Kendall snatched James' icepack and pushed his thumb into James' swollen cheekbone.

"OW" he cried in outrage but Kendall just pushed harder. "Well you DO have too- she's the only person who can stand up to his new coach- you said it yourself."

"Can't we try talking to his new coach first... I mean maybe he's not anything like Natalia..." Carlos suggested and James frowned and pulled out of Kendall's range. "Already tried that- he might actually be scarier than Natalia."

Kendall gave him an expectant look, "No! No- Lenore is ten times worse than either of them! Once when I was in the fifth grade she broke all my-"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! Whatever this girl did is irrelevant if she can help us."

"They're not even dating how do you know she'll even WANT to help?" Carlos asked, "we won't know unless James tries" James folded his arms stubbornly. "Look it's either that or plan B" Kendall threatened.

"There's a plan B?" James asked excitedly "then why is calling the she demon plan A- let's call that plan B or maybe plan N, for plan never."

Kendall blinked in surprise "you... want to do plan B?" James nodded enthusiastically "you do know plan B is a lot less... legal than plan A?" James scowled "plan N" he corrected.

"We have to break someone's spirit" Carlos whimpered, "it's kind of mean."

James sighed "I wish Logan were here- he's great with plans." Kendall grinned like he was humouring James "is that so?" James nodded "when we pulled things we'd never get caught- like in middle school when that stupid jock Goldstein was laying into me- calling me gay and stuff. So he blew up his locker."

"Blew it... up?" Carlos asked "yeah- no one got hurt or anything, but he rigged it so it blew up like a confetti cannon with glitter and rainbow confetti in his face."

"What else did he do?" Kendall leaned in- he never thought of a confetti cannon that was kind of clever. "Um- mostly he just used to get me out of jams- like when I accidentally double booked myself for a dance and he caused a city wide blackout so I could escape... or maybe that was a coincidence. He did say he wanted to see if he could make a freeze ray..."

"Did it work?" Carlos asked excitedly James shrugged, "donno he blew up part of his garage. His dad made him sleep there until he fixed it."

"Why was he trying to build a freeze ray?" Kendall asked incredulously "Well he was helping- Lenore was the one actually trying to make it, she's kind of a genius like Logan but she's more of the mad scientist variety."

"She sounds cool" Carlos sighed and James glared at him "no- no she is not. Don't ever say that!"

"Okay... James did YOU ever pull any pranks?" Carlos asked- Logan's ex was CLEARLY a sore subject for him. "Uh- I guess, nothing like you guys" he said uneasily, thinking of some of the stories Carlos had told him about Minnesota. It just made James even more uneasy around Kendall than he already was.

"I was never really in to pranks- but I used to do a lot of adrenaline sports."

"Adrenaline sports?" Carlos repeated excitedly "yeah like BMX, parasailing, bungee jumping, rock climbing and when we went away for the summer surfing."

"Cool! You can surf?" Carlos asked excitedly "Yeah! I have a surf simulation game in my room!" he ran off and Carlos followed excitedly.

"So we're not discussing the plan anymore? Guys? GUYS! WAIT UP!"

******BTR******

When Logan returned to the apartment it was just past curfew (well **his** curfew- which was extended unlike the other boys because he was training.) The boys had once again fallen asleep on the couch, in various stages of snuggling.

They were all dressed in board shorts for a reason Logan couldn't quite fathom and on the TV James' annoying surf game was asking him if he 'wanted to shred this tasty wave' over and over. He put his foot down and turned the TV off when the simulation asked if he was ready to 'wile' out' in an incredibly obnoxious Californian accent.

Stupid out of date surfer slang, what was this the fifties? It sounded vaguely like something Gustavo might think was a current cool saying.

He circled the couch, wondering if he should wake them… they all looked so peaceful though.

Logan was kind of jealous- they were all having a good time and he was stuck at the gym with the slave driver Sasha. He didn't regret becoming more involved with gymnastics again- it made the dancing a little bit easier and it cleared his mind. He was just worried once they had a serious tutor Logan would crack from the pressure.

He also missed moments like this.

He sighed; he wasn't actually sure what to do here. The gymnastics he added in the dance rehearsals were mere parlour tricks to what he could actually accomplish in the gym. The way he manipulated had always something he's been very proud of- something less intellectual and more instinctual.

He wondered if it was feasible to cut back hours- maybe convince Mr X to incorporate more gymnastics in the dance routines so he was still… 'Reaching his full potential.'

He grabbed the blanket resting over the back of the couch, the boys hadn't thought to grab and draped it over their bodies.

The boy pile stirred and Carlos' eyes opened "Logie?" he croaked, "yeah it's just me" he said softly, smiling at his friend. "What time is it?" Logan laughed, "late- you should go to bed."

"Mmm s'comfy here" he tugged on Logan's sleave "you should sleep." Logan nodded "I was going to but you grabbed me" Carlos didn't let go and his face screwed up in concentration. "Not over there" he whined "come sleep here" Logan shook his head violently "and get a awful crick in my neck no way! Plus I'm not wearing my PJs."

"Sweats are good enough" he brought Logan down onto the couch with one swift tug and James and Kendall shuffled restlessly in their sleep moving higher up the uncomfortable couch. "Stay?" Carlos asked he sounded tired and pathetic "it's like your never here…"

Logan sighed "yeah okay" and pulled the blanket from James and Kendall to cover himself and Carlos.

At least they'd all have cricked necks together in the morning and it's not like Carlos can ever say Logan never does anything for him anymore.

He shuts his eyes and sleep takes him faster than he thought.

**As always please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: More references and call backs in this chapter because I have a serious problem. Anyway this chapter… I donno it kind of split off into two chapters, so at least you'll know the next chapter will be out soon!**

**My dedication: this chapter is dedicated to bubzchoc- wasn't sure what to add to this chapter for you… seeing as your reviews are short. But you know I really do appreciate them. So this chapter is for you! **

The new teacher was barely any better than Mr. Smitty (other than she had no interest in being violently nostalgic- just violent.) This they supposed, was because Gustavo still did after all have final say on who was chosen as a suitable teacher.

Mrs. Chisdak had been disturbingly easy to get rid of after Kendall lifted the keys to Gustavo's car. Turns out even strict, mean spirited teachers can be bribed with a free/stolen car and Logan hadn't even told him off so Kendall was feeling pretty good about his get-rid-of-all-teachers plan.

"DOGS!" Gustavo screamed, breaking down the classroom (which had been relocated to a broom closet as some kind of punishment.) They all looked up at him, the picture of wide-eyed innocence.

"Put the looks away," he said in a warning tone. The impending laughter destroyed the look they were going for anyway- so it was ALMOST like complying.

Gustavo hit the chalkboard- Kendall had managed to scare off teacher number 3 and Gustavo was yet to find a replacement. "YOU" his screams seemed mostly directed at Kendall "are being RIDICULOUS! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOUR!"

Kendall kicked his foot out propelling the seat in front of his desk several feet sliding to a stop just short of hitting Gustavo in the knees. "Then by all means" he smirked "take a seat."

Gustavo took three great strides until he was directly in front of the blonde's desk. He grabbed him by the lapels and pulled him up so they were eye-to-eye and almost nose-to-nose. "NOBODY" he screamed "LIKES YOUR SMART ASS ROUTINE- it's VERY middle school KNIGHT!"

He dropped Kendall and he fell into his seat "I have just laid down the track for 'the city is ours' but GUESS WHAT? The city is NOT yours, so you're just going to have to move out!"

"WHAT?" James screeched and stood him so fast he banged his legs on the desk. "Calm down James" Carlos rolled his eyes "it's a… what did Logan call it? Oh right- a scare tactic."

"I did not" Logan hissed and sent Gustavo a wobbly terrified smile "Yah huh you did- it's not like I know what any of those words MEAN!" Carlos responded and Logan smacked him over the head. "MEAN!" Carlos yelled and smacked him back (the sheen of their new friendship was wearing off and they were more inclined to commit acts of 'affectionate violence' on each other now.)

"LADIES" James stuck a hand into the fray, untangling limbs with surprising efficiency "can we save this cat fight until we find you two some mud to wrestle in- right now you're making Gustavo's face that traffic light red colour- and by the rules of the road that means stop."

Kendall looked at Gustavo's slowly reddening face "huh" Kendall observed cheerfully- glad to see OTHER members of the band could make his face go that colour.

"Well he started itttt" Carlos whined oblivious to the volcano close to eruption right in front of him "no YOU started it!" Logan snapped back and they were back into their slap fight.

"QUIET!"

Gustavo roared and everything went eerily quiet- including Gustavo. "What I was trying to tell you is that the city is ours" he said quiet and evenly "is a mess on the track- Big Time Rush may have been a fluke- since your voices aren't meshing, your energy is all over the place, I don't buy that you all enjoy being there."

"It's bad, I might as well have screeching CATS sing it!"

The boys paled "Which means I will be spending all Sunday TRYING to fix it" he rested his hands on Kendall's desk "we have to record on Monday- if you haven't worked out what I'm sure is your PERSONALITY problems I may have to REASSESS Big Time Rush."

He left the room with his footsteps echoing against the floor. The door shut and a flurry of noise could be heard from inside the broom closet.

Kelly was leaned against the wall, Gustavo jumped "KELLY" he squeaked "what are you doing here?" she raised her eyebrow at her boss "I was about to give the boys another speech about teachers- but you seemed to have taken a different approach."

Gustavo cackles and walked down the hallway, motioning for Kelly to follow him. "It is my greatest tactic that I discovered from my golden days of producing."

"When you produced all those boy bands and that one lesbian girl group?" she asked curiously "THEY WEREN'T LESBI- Kelly they WEREN'T lesbians." Gustavo glared at her "whatever- my brother loved Angel Angel because all their songs were about lesbian relationships- and it's not like you let anyone forget their single 'Girl, Girl, Girl' was number one for like four weeks- which they still use at pride parades."

"I knew I should have stopped using the world girl in all my songs when I started producing a girl group." he muttered "though to be FAIR though, 'Girl, Girl, Girl' was written for Boys in The Attic- but they kept egging my car and doing other irritating things so I gave it to the girls."

Kelly sighed, they had gotten sidetracked "so this tactic?" she asked "oh!" Gustavo lite up "I told them 'the city is our' is terrible and they'll be sent home if they don't do better."

"WHAT? But you said you LOVED 'the city is ours' you said the harmonies were quote 'AH-mazing' unquote." she exclaimed "Kelly, Kelly, Kelly do you even remember anything about the nineties boy bands I produced?"

"Vaguely- I mean I was a pre-teen so all the girls in my class were OBSESSED with Boys in The Attic- at least until they dropped off the face of the earth."

"They're still living in that attic I think" Gustavo said gravely.

"So you remember their first release?" Kelly nodded "um 'girl you are my girl' I think" Gustavo shrugged. "It was a short media sensation it blew up the charts- now do you remember the second song they released."

"Hot girl" she said immediately "I LOVED that song- that's why I bought their album." Gustavo nodded "EXACTLY- 'Hot girl' while not a chart stopper was probably their strongest song to date and converted a lot of people to their music and do you know WHY?"

Kelly shook her head "because I told them they were TERRIBLE!" he smirked "and of course being just like Big Time Rush they just LOVE to prove me wrong."

He grinned in triumphant "also… they were also all dumb as a bag of hammers."

"That's kind of diabolical" Kelly said in awe, she liked the boys- but maybe a few days of fear would sort out their discipline problems and she would keep having to replacing their teachers.

"Yes- and the best part is; they're playing right into my hand."

******BTR******

"We can SO sing better than cats!" James Frowned and cast a look at Carlos "well MOST of us." Logan glared "don't be mean James- your singing is getting really good Carlos" Carlos beamed at Logan "thanks Logie!"

"This doesn't even make sense though" Kendall scratched his chin "he didn't seem more angry than usual when we recorded."

"Yeah" Logan agreed "and why not bring up these concerns during rehearsal or when we were recording?"

"Maybe because he's a PSYCHO!" James moaned and collapsed on the couch, after their 'little chat' with Gustavo they had to suffer through Mr. X's eXtreme dance classes and they were all miserable and tired.

Logan sat down next to him, "can you pass me my laptop Kendall?" He asked, making vaguely pathetic hand motions to the table where his laptop was sitting. It was a testament to how drowsy Kendall actually was that he went and retrieved the object without so much as a snide comment.

Logan logged on and pulled up the Internet browser. "Whatcha lookin up Logie?" Carlos asked, sitting on the floor sitting in between Logan and James' legs. "Gustavo Rocque."

He pulled up a page; "here it is- look at his list of bands" Kendall sat down on the remaining space on the couch and peered over his shoulder. "They're all super lame- what's your point?"

"Angel Angel isn't lame" James shot back without heat, he laid his head on Logan's shoulder his eyes slowly becoming more and more hooded. "Okay your right" Kendall agreed "Angel Angel wasn't lame- but you remember the bands Logan, we pass their posters everyday. Why do we need to look them up?"

"I was looking up their sales records" Logan rolled his eyes and pointed to the screen "look here's a graph." They all peer at the graphs Logan was scrolling through, "notice a pattern?"

"Every band crashes and burns at the third album?" Carlos asks, Logan does a double take "what? Huh I didn't notice that- we should watch out for that. No I was thinking that sales all spike after the second single- that's why Gustavo's putting pressure on us… he doesn't want to loose out on the second single spike."

"But we haven't even released our FIRST single" Kendall complained "isn't he getting a little ahead of himself."

"Nah" James sits up looking slightly more awake, "Big Time Rush is defiantly our first single- the thing about a second single is that it DEFINES our genre."

"Which is?"

"Pop"

"Rock"

"RnB"

"Dance music"

They all turned to Carlos incredulously "you think our music is DANCE music?" Kendall screeched, "Well yeah… isn't that why we have to practice dancing so much?"

"Regardless" Logan sighed "if we can't stop being conflicted we'll never make it past the second single."

Kendall sighed, "Seems like something to sleep on."

And that was at least one thing they could all agree on.

******BTR******

Kendall woke up with a plan, well he actually woke up with a vague concept but after a shower and once he had poked Logan long enough to get him to make him some fried eggs.

He had formed a plan.

"The problem is," he explained to Logan stealing his paper, trying to mimic the cute paper-sharing thing Logan and James did every morning. "Is that this band is supposed to be about four best friends not two best friends who happen to be in acquaintance with two other best friends."

"We're more than just acquaintances Kendall" Logan told him snatching the paper back and promptly handing James finance and giving Carlos the comics. "Room mates- whatever! The point is we have to become good friends fast."

"How are we supposed to do that?" Carlos asked, peering over the paper- voice muffled through large mouthfuls of bacon and eggs.

"Yeah didn't we do the whole getting to know you thing when we played spin the bottle?" James asked in slight disgust, Kendall glared fiercely "for the LAST time James, I was NOT trying to play spin the bottle."

Carlos sniggered "are you sure about that Kendoll" he wiggled his eyebrows and shoved James affectionately "you did say James was improbably handsome." James' face lit and he shot Kendall a smug smile and Logan merely snickered at him.

"AW COME ON" Kendall cried "THAT WAS TAKEN ENTIRELY OUT OF CONTEX!"

"I can't think of a context where that wouldn't sound a little odd Kendall" Logan laughed, the other two snigger and all three hid behind their papers.

Kendall threw his hands up in the air in exasperation "HOW did this conversation get away from me." He shoved Logan, who shoved him back making a face at him, "I donno Kendall- maybe the conversation wasn't with you in the first place."

"I know I wasn't paying attention," James said in a singsong voice, his paper long forgotten as he was using a spoon to look at his reflection. "Yeah but the only you play attention to is yourself James" Kendall snapped and stabbed his fork viciously into his fried eggs.

James rolled his eyes "you're just jealous YOU'RE not improbably handsome" and went back to ignoring his food and staring at his reflection with his spoon. He touched his nose and a hint of concern crossed his face, he turned to Logan "you don't think my nose is too big do you?"

Logan looked up over his paper at James and snickered "James- you're looking at yourself in a spoon, the way your holding it makes it a convex object." James shot him a confused look and Logan sighed putting his paper down next to his plate of scrambled eggs.

He takes James spoon and runs his finger on the outside of the spoon. "Convex meaning it protrudes out rather than sinks in" he flips the spoon and runs a finger on the inside of the spoon "like this."

"But what does that have to do with my nose looking big?" James covered his nose with his hand and Logan laughs "you're holding the spoon to close to your face and seeing as the centre point of the spoon is closest to the centre point of your face- your nose. It gives an illusion that your nose is bigger than it actually is."

"So my nose isn't actually hideously deformed?" James asked in relief "well why didn't you just SAY that!"

"He did you moron," Kendall snorted, "yeah but not in words we know" Carlos shot back.

Kendall patted Logan on the back of his head "I think its sort of cool you know practically everything- it's like you have all the answers." Logan flushed and looked down "well… not ALL the answers…" Kendall just grinned brightly "yeah- but who wants to know EVERYTHING- and nearly everything is certainly more than I know."

"Yeah, like you know anything," James laughed. Both boys glared at him "shut up James."

Logan sighed and picked up his half-eaten food "maybe you've got something here Kendall." Kendall's eyes went wide and he grabbed at his body "what?" What have I got? Does it look poisonous?"

"No I mean about your idea to make us better friends you idiot" Logan laughed, "I think it would be beneficial to our music… it would probably make co-habituating easier as well."

"He wants us to live in a swamp?" Carlos asked James in a stage whisper "nah- he said CO-habitATE not habitat, it means to live together."

"A habitat isn't just in a swamp either" Logan told them "it's literally means it inhabits. It's an ecological or environmental area that is occupied by a particular species of animal, plant or organism." Logan picks up James' long forgotten plate and takes it over to the sink.

"It is the natural environment in which an organism lives, or the physical environment that surrounds a species population."

"Maybe LOGAN should tutor us" Carlos muses after a minuet of silence, Logan rolled his eyes "that's basic science Carlos- you should have learnt it in middle school."

"Not that he paid attention in middle school" Kendall laughed, "wait- does this mean 2J is OUR habitat?"

"Well… it's not our NATURAL habitat but… we're all classed under the same species- human or if you want to be cute… I guess we're of the endangered boy band variety."

"Vocal group" Kendall corrects him without thinking and Logan laughed "yeah- nobody believes that Kendall."

"I know my brother won't stop giving me shit about it" Carlos added, "So it must be true."

"Can this not be our habitat" James asked Logan "nothing against your big, fancy scientist words or anything but we sort of sound like a science experiment."

"Well- Griffin is always calling us as a brave experiment into revival of the nineties" Logan said lightly. "But that's just a way of saying that the boy band is dead" Kendall said gloomily "that's why I've been trying to call us a vocal group."

Carlos pats his arms down "hmm I don't FEEL dead," James patted himself over in a similar fashion "me either."

"New plan" Logan said suddenly grinning at Kendall "how about we ditch the band of idiots and form a NEW band- can you form a two person boy band?"

"HEY!"

******BTR******

The plan ended up being surprisingly simple.

Spend some time together by themselves- to date the least dangerous or potentially explosive plan Kendall had ever pulled off. Well… maybe not the LEAST explosive.

Kendall wandered into the kitchen despite Logan and Carlos' brief horrified cries about where the fire hydrant was and the proper stop, drop and roll technique. They even momentarily stopped their massive bitch fight to do so, which offended Kendall deeply. Seriously? Who messes up popcorn?

"I am NOT watching the Spongebob Square pants movie- there is no way that is an appropriate movie for sixteen year olds!"

And they were off again…

"Yes it is, you stupid head! And it's better than the super lame eighties movie you wanna watch" Carlos smacked Logan on the arm and Logan clutched the DVD close to his chest. "How dare you- Princess Bride is a classic! It's genuinely funny and clever unlike lame-bob stupid-pants!"

Kendall focused on the popcorn, pressing his cheek against the microwave staring as the bag began popping and rising spastically. "Guys-" he called out "are cornels supposed to have a seizure before they become popcorn?" He tried to sound as casual as possible as the bag began smashing against the sides of the microwave. It sort of looked like there were two little elves having some sort of wrestling match in his popcorn bag.

"WHAT?" they both yelled and Carlos raced into the kitchen, looking around wildly and running towards the microwave and ripping the door open.

He grabbed a tea towel and pulled out the charred bag dropping it on the floor. The smoke wafted upwards mocking Kendall "hmm" Kendall said in astonishment "I hadn't even realised it had caught fire!"

Logan ran in with the fire extinguisher and released the pin, covering the smouldering bag with a blanket of white foam. "How did you set fire to popcorn?" Logan asked fearfully, Kendall shrugged "I guess the bag must a have been defective… I followed the instructions and everything."

There was a sickening smell in the air and the foam caught on fire.

"HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?" Carlos squealed hiding behind Kendall and Logan added another thick layer of foam snuffing the fire out for good. "It's not possible" Logan said calmly "it seems science doesn't apply when Kendall steps into the kitchen."

"Mean" Kendall replies crossing his arms in annoyance as Carlos slowly moves from hiding behind him. Carlos gingerly touched the bag with his foot and hid back behind Kendall when the foam shuddered violently.

"That doesn't mean what he said isn't true" Carlos reasoned and patted the tall boy on the back, "I guess Logan will be in charge of snacks while I pick the movie!" Then he raced out of the kitchen "WHAT? NO WAY!"

Carlos ran into the room to see James laid out on the couch in a lazy fashion, remote in hand. "Jaaammmeeesss" he whined, "We were going to watch Spongebob Squarepants!"

"OVER MY DEAD BODY" Logan called from the kitchen, "THAT CAN BE ARRANGED" Carlos called back.

"You shouldn't get between Carlos and Spongebob" Kendall told Logan and went to grab a new bag of popcorn. Logan seemed to have pre-empted that move and smacked his hand away. "I am not sitting through Spongebob- I'm not five! He'll like the princess bride, it's a classic."

"See you lost me when you said classic" Kendall resined himself to drink duty and went to the fridge to find some soft drink. "You've got to learn to sell your product better than that!"

"I shouldn't NEED to" they walked back into the lounge room, now loaded up with snacks and drinks "who doesn't like princess bride?" Kendall shrugged "I've never seen it."

"You should be so lucky" James told him; stealing the lone bottle of water Kendall had brought out and poured himself a glass. "It's Logan's favourite movie- he quotes it all the time."

"I do not" Logan said and kicked James who was taking up the entire space of the couch "move" he commanded. "No way" James stuck out his tongue "and yes you do man- I actually felt bad for Lenore, she must have had to sit through that movie at least fifty times."

"It wasn't-" Logan started and James snorted, "okay it was a lot of times- but she made me sit through the notebook more than once and that's not even any good."

James bit his lip and Logan turned slowly towards the screen where the menu for the notebook was running on repeat. "No" he said sternly, James hugged the remote close to his chest "you know the sacred rules of the lounge room- he who holds the remote controls the TV."

"We made those rules up when we were eight- and we're not even at your house! Bylaws state, the rules don't apply!" Logan tackled James trying to grab the remote "you and your stupid bylaws" James struggled and only very narrowly missed elbowing Logan in the face.

"The bylaws are there for a reason!"

Kendall and Carlos stood back watching with amusement; Kendall grabbed the bowel of chips, which very nearly perished due to their rather amateurish attempt at wrestling. "This is better than cable" he handed the bowel to Carlos, the boy accepted it begrudgingly "not better than Spongebob" he grumbled.

"No" Kendall laughed "but you know what IS better than Spongebob?"

Carlos narrowed his eyes suspiciously but curiosity seemed to win out "…no what's better than Spongebob?"

Kendall stepped forward and deftly grabbed the remote out of James' hand- who had been holding it far out of Logan's reach but not quiet out of Kendall's.

He picked up a DVD and brandished it at Carlos, the Latino's confusion melted into unrestrained excitement.

"Now this gentlemen" he waved the cover around "is a REAL classic."

******BTR******

"I don't understand" Logan told Kendall flipping his towel over his shoulder and following the other boys into the elevator, "why would Emilio Estevez's boss try and make him less awesome at his job- I mean he was a brilliant lawyer."

Carlos gasped in horror "he was so cold hearted- and then he met Charlie and the ducks and they made him a better person."

Logan shook his head "that was another thing I didn't quite get- didn't anyone find it creepy that he formed a relationship with Charlie's mother purely because he wanted to be closer to the kid. I mean that seems really creepy."

"You have no soul" Kendall informed Logan sadly and patted him on the head "there are two more The Mighty Ducks movies left, we'll just have to convert you."

The door opened out to the lobby and James shuffled out, looking slightly uncomfortable "the ah… hockey part actually wasn't that bad."

"YES!" Carlos cheered grinning like a maniac "I KNEW we could make you like hockey if you saw The Might Ducks- everyone that see's The Mighty Ducks likes hockey at least a little bit." He eyed Logan with great suspicion "except the ones with no soul- the evidence that you're a vampire is stacking up!"

Logan rolled his eyes "whatever- no movie has the power to make you suddenly like a sport… except Field of Dreams… but that was about America's pastime so it doesn't really count."

"ERGH! Field of dreams- that was SO BORING!" Kendall complained.

The three other boys gasped and all took a giant step away from the blonde. "Maybe HE'S not human" James whispered to Logan conspiratorially "quick Loges stand behind me, I'll protect you."

"Idiots" Kendall muttered grabbing hold of Logan's wrist and dragging him to the pool.

"WAIT! LOGAN!" James yelled out, arm extended, look of horror etched on his face, "he was so young." He told Carlos in a mournful fashion, Carlos patted him on the back "There, there James- be strong."

"WILL YOU IDIOTS HURRY UP!"

"Cooooommmingg" James called and grabbed Carlos' arm "I bet we could bet the vampires in a game of chicken."

"Well duh James- I bet vampires don't even know HOW to swim."

The rushed off to the pool.

Logan was already stretched out like a cat on one of the pool chairs, with a book in hand and his glasses on. "Dude" James hissed, "You're not supposed to wear those anymore" he made a grab for Lagan's glasses. Logan dodged James' hand and smacked him with the book "the contacts irritate my eyes already- they're practically intolerable when I read."

"You know you never would have NEEDED glasses if you didn't spend your formative years living in a library." James made a disgusted face and nudged Logan over so they could sit down on the same chair. Logan shifted to accommodate him and James slung his arm over the back of the chair and pulled his shades down over his eyes.

"What happened to chicken?" Carlos asked running up to them, James shrugged "Logan's in a read-ie mood- there's no way he'd get on anybody's shoulders."

"Shoulders?" Logan asked half listening to the conversation, "yeah for chicken- remember we used to vs. your cousins at the pool after they banned you guys from playing flag football at your family reunions."

"Who banned you?" Carlos asked "state of Wisconsin" Logan replied, still half heartedly trying to read his book. "You break a few bones, a couple important statues and dislocate a mayor's shoulder and suddenly no one wants you to play- they were just lucky we were just playing flag football."

James nodded furiously, "so… James you go to his family reunions?" even though on the night when they didn't play spin the bottle Carlos had gotten it straightened out that James and Logan were NOT related- it was still easy to forget sometimes. Which in itself was a challenge because it's not like they looked anything alike.

"Um yeah- when they held them in Wisconsin, but mum wont let me go back to Texas after the last time." Logan snorted but there was a indefinably troubled expression that passed over James' face.

"We don't talk about that though" James told him, Logan threw his book on the ground- giving up on it "really? I talk about it all the time! It was the summer of 19-"

James tackled Logan off the chair and they both rolled until they fell into the pool.

"Aw dude NOT COOL!" Logan pulled himself out of the pool and ripped his button down shirt off- it had been stupid of him to not anticipate someone throwing him in the pool. That was after all why he was wearing his board shorts.

Carlos was laughing hysterically and Kendall- who had been swimming had followed Logan out of the pool. "What happened?" He asked in concern "James threw me in the pool" Logan grumbled, "we ROLLED into the pool" James corrected.

Logan's hands flew up to his face "oh no" he turned to Kendall in a blind panic "my glasses- they're gone!" Kendall's face fell "what? Why were you wearing your glasses?" Logan paced in a blind panic "I was reading and James and I got talking but I didn't take my-"

SPLASH

Kendall had obviously heard enough and dived back into the pool.

James finally pulled himself out of the pool, looking back where Kendall was diving repeatedly to the bottom of the pool. "What the hell is Kendork doing?" He snickered "looking for buried treasure- oh! Are you two playing fetch?"

Logan smacked James over the head hard. "Shut up James! He's finding my glasses because YOU pushed me into the pool while I was still wearing them!"

"So?" James rolled his eyes "I'll just get you a new set- problem solved. You can call off your 'golden retriever' now." Logan fixed him with a piercing glared "if I've told you once I've told you a thousand times- you cant always fix things with money!"

James flushed "I know- I remember when you yelled at me when I tried to 'buy' our friendship back in the third grade after I accidently humiliated you in front of your dad- but this is different. They're just glasses."

"No James, they're not" Logan wasn't looking him anymore; he was looking at the watery shadow of Kendall. "I- I gave up a lot to follow you, I gave my home, school- I even gave up the chance of ever getting back with Lenore…" Logan ran a hand through his short hair "I gave up my whole identity for you- and I got a new one- and I don't hate it…"

"But sometimes I just want to put on my glasses and be me again" he turned to face James "and- a guy I've know for a month gets that… why don't you?"

Kendall appeared out of the water victoriously holding onto Logan's glasses "Logie" he yelled "I found them- they're not even broken!"

He jumped out of the pool and placed them on the tip of Logan's nose and laughed. "Wow I forgot how different you look with your glasses on" Logan gave him a weak smile. "I like it" Kendall assured him "it's different- but it suits you… am I making sense? Or do I just sound like an idiot?"

Logan laughed and placed a hand on Kendall shoulder "no- that's exactly how I feel about my glasses… thanks for getting them for me Kendall."

Kendall beamed at him, mentally added a point to his scoreboard.

Pool: 4 Kendall: 6.

At least he was scoring well against inanimate objects- the way James was glaring made him feel he had beaten James at something but he didn't know what… he added it to his mental score board anyway.

Kendall: 46 ½ James: 32.

Man. He was on fire today.

Logan picked up his book and sloshed back to the lobby. Kendall fell down in the vacant seat "aw where's he going? I really thought we were making progress today."

James sat down in the empty seat next to Kendall and stared out at the pool where Carlos was splashing around. "I don't think we should do the plan anymore" he said quietly, Kendall sat upright "what?"

"I said I think we should stop with all the planning" he picked up his towel and started drying his hair, Kendall could read the pretty boy's face that he was itching to blow dry it but was physically restraining himself in an effort to appear less vain in front of him.

An effort he appreciated.

"We can't just give up on the plan- Gustavo said the city is our is-" Kendall started but James held up his hand to silence him. "Cut the crap Kendall, we both know you aren't worried about the city is ours, and since I've been musically trained since I was five and you're not oblivious or sweet natured we both know Gustavo doesn't hate our song."

"What gave me away?" Kendall asked with a sigh, James rolled his eyes "lets become better friends? Really? As your entire plan!" James laughed "from the guy who blew up a cop car, from the guy who used the quarterback at his school as a flag because he was mean to his best friend?"

James shook his head, "From the guy who staged plans so elaborate, did things so risky that I can't even comprehend them. THAT guy suggested we just all 'play nice' as his grand scheme."

Kendall smirked "you **do** listen when I talk."

"You talk SO much- me hearing things was bound to happen" James said dismissively.

"So wait I'm confused if you KNEW this wasn't about Gustavo… why did you play along."

James shrugged "I didn't see the harm… I mean it was phase one in your master plan right? To get Logan to quit gymnastics."

Kendall nodded "yeah phase one: make him realise other options- it WAS working until he fell into the pool…"

"Yeah and then I said something stupid… and he said something back and I realised." James frowned "as much as he's always let me control his life… it's his life. Not mine. I can't just screw around with it when I don't like what's happening… I- I uprooted him from everything he knows, and if he can't have his glasses…"

"He should at least have gymnastics" Kendall finished and James nodded "that's deep man."

Kendall laid back on his chair "I take it under consideration, but the thing is man- the more I get to know Logan the more I see gymnastics isn't making him happy."

"I know" James said sourly "but I can't just take it away from him so… do what you want but don't tell me about it and I don't want to see it happen."

"Understood."

******BTR******

Logan hadn't planned to spend the rest of Sunday in the gym. In fact it had been the last thing on his mind.

All the serious gymnast that trained everyday were whispering and giggling like they did every time they saw him.

"Did you hear he's in a boy band?"

"Oh my God I know! Why is he even here?"

Logan ignored them; he had spent his whole life ignoring people's whispering. He had gotten really good at tuning out all the negative things people had to say about him… Though back in Wisconsin it always felt easier.

It was easier to think they were small town people, with small town thinking…

He also used to have James to stand in front of him, like a big human shield.

Sometime he felt like he spent his whole life hiding behind James and traveling with him to California was just one in a long list of things that proved it.

Logan moved to the mats and straightened his body. He took off at a run, starting with a few simple flips and working his way up to some of his more complex moves- he could say one thing for gymnastics, it always cleared his head.

"You always were great at that you know."

Logan almost slipped at the sound of James' voice, he turned his foot changing the motion into a simple backflip and landed inches in front of an unflinching James.

"James huff what are you d-doing here?" Logan tried to catch his breath, a routine simple as the one he had just done shouldn't have even made him even sweat. But the surprise twist and backflip at the end and put a strain of him mentally.

He hated surprises.

"It's okay if I watch you right?" Logan nodded "there's um a spectator's section" he pointed uselessly at a far away section high up from the gymnasts. James leant against wall and just stared at Logan with an intense fixed gaze.

It wasn't something Logan unused too. It just threw him off a little bit.

"I'm actually going to go over to the rings" Logan explained, James nodded and followed him to the area with the rings. He moved well away from the mats without breaking eye contact with Logan.

And that's the way it stayed for an hour, until Logan collapsed on the floor next to James.

"It's just like when we were younger- do you remember… you used to train all the time and I would spend hours watching you."

"I don't remember that" Logan said scratching his head, James ducked his head "I sat in the spectators seats… the gymnasts really can't see you from there" James laughed awkwardly. "Anyway that's when my parents were first separated- you were the only thing good in my life at that time."

He ruffled Logan's damp head "I don't want you to feel like you have to change for me."

Logan smiled uneasily "James- I'm sorry, I knew what I said… well I knew you'd take it personally. I'm not mad… and I don't regret moving, I kind of love it out here."

"Do you remember- we were going to save up our money and move here?" James asked with a smile.

"Or New York- we can still go there if you like" Logan grinned "for all my talk you know I never really planned for a future without you in it… so me following you. Well that's just like me isn't it?"

James swung his arm around Logan and rested his head on his shoulder, "yeah- maybe it is and it's just like me to want you by my side."

**Please Review**

ALSO I'm currently co-athouring a story called 'Moments with James Diamond' with HalfJillHalfJack that's on her author's page. I wrote the first chapter so please go check it out! 


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: I have exams in a couple of days so this is my last post until they are done. Anyway, this chapter is what I like to call a 'relationship building' chapter so tell me what you like. As always- see what references you can spot either from my own previous stories, BTR or anywhere else!**

**Oh at BTW I'm co-writing a story called 'moments with James Diamond' with HalfJillHalfJack and it's under her name. You should totally check it out.**

**Dedication: To HalfJillHalfJack- a good time to dedicate it to you as well! Congrats on finishing your exams!**

James came into the apartment to find Kendall squatted behind the couch; the blonde hair was just visible as he peeked over the couch with a pair of binoculars. James had grown accustomed to Kendall's… eccentricities, it wasn't in itself, odd to see the boy hidden in some carefully placed bushes, with binoculars, a 'tree hat' and some kind of spy music blaring from his iPod.

But that was usually at the pool or in the lobby… or at the park maybe once or twice at Rocque records… that one incredibly awkward time at the gym. James forgets where he was going with this… ah right! Kendall usually kept his oddness out of the apartment (well at least the kind of oddness that needed binoculars.)

"Kendall what are you-"

Kendall's head jerks up and when he spotted James, he barrel rolled over to him mission impossible style and tackled him to the floor. "Shh" he reprimands "we're on a mission" Kendall pulls out a black bandana similar to the one he's wearing and hands it to James.

The whole thing seems completely unnecessary.

He puts the bandana on anyway… but ONLY because he thinks they're fashion forward. It had nothing to do with Kendall and his current shenanigans.

Kendall drags him along the ground until they're squatting behind the couch in the same creepy manner James had found Kendall moments before. James could now see what they were looking at.

The door of James and Logan's room.

"Kendall I STILL don't-" James struggled and Kendall cut him off by placing a hand over his mouth. "Shh- you can hear that right?"

It was a ridiculous question really. The music of 'the city is ours' reverberated off the walls- James thought it actually didn't sound that bad. Kendall obviously disagreed seeing as his face was scrunched up in horror "it sounds like he's beating someone to death with a key board" he hissed.

James hit Kendall "dude shut up- Logan's just practicing, he wants to be able to play ALL our songs in case it comes up in concert or something."

"That's LOGAN?" Kendall asked in disbelief "I thought it was CARLOS- you know mashing keys or some of the world's most terrible and musically challenged robbers."

James concentrated on the noise, the chorus was almost perfect until about halfway through where it veered off terribly and James heard a quiet voice mutter "fuck."

"Oh yeah- that's defiantly Logan" James confirmed, he slid down the back of the couch and Kendall followed his example. Sitting with his back pressed against the back of the couch, Kendall seemed to be lost in thought "I… I thought Logan was good at music- well not singing, but like I've seen him play guitar and he was awesome."

"He played his guitar for you?" James asked irrationally jealous, "you know what never mind- anyway yeah, Logan's good at piano but it takes him a while to learn new music. He's not very… musically inclined. So… he practices. A lot!"

James beams at their door; glad to see Logan was letting off steam in some small way. The smaller boy had been retreating into himself further and further over the last couple of days- something James had been trying not to take personally.

"Why would you do something you weren't good at?" Kendall asked incredulously, he didn't have a lot of experience in working hard at anything (except hockey and now this band boy thing) so he couldn't imagine why anyone would force themselves to repeat something over and over if they showed no natural talent for it.

"Well… he stuck with piano because that's how we met, at piano practice," James explained (and after eleven years of piano practice Logan was actually really good- he just couldn't co-ordinate playing piano and singing like he was attempting at the moment… James thinks that's what he's doing anyway.)

"And all the other stuff he mostly did it because we did everything together- when we got older we tried doing things on our own. Logan stuck with gymnastics and I joined a whole bunch of sports clubs- but we always enjoyed stuff we could do together."

Kendall looked at James with a strange expression, "that's kind of… sweet" he settled on finally. He took of his bandana and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't think I'll ever be that close to someone- that I'd want to do EVERYTHING with them. I mean I have Carlos- but our relationship isn't anything like the one you have with Logan."

James shrugged "Logan says we compliment each other- and you and Carlos compliment each other just fine. In my head you guys are like the little shoulder angel and devil."

Kendall laughed "Carlos would make a HORRIBLE shoulder angel, he'd probably get distracted, or tell you to dangerous stuff… or try and parachute off your shoulder."

James snicker "yeah that DOES sound like him." Kendall smiles that fond smile that James noticed Kendall saved for when he was with Carlos or thinking about Carlos.

They were closer than Kendall liked to believed.

James punched Kendall affectionately (and for once without any kind of malice) and Kendall just smiled at him. It was almost a moment.

So of course something came along to ruin it.

"Whacha guys doing?"

Carlos Garcia: Moment Killer.

Carlos was kneeing on the couch looking down at them with big wide eyes. Both boys looked startled and jumped apart, Carlos grinned brightly "were you guys acting like friends?" He asked slightly.

"No way" Kendall stands up and brushes his pants; James stands up as well "where did you come from?" James smiled weakly at Carlos; the Latino boy's smile widens impossibly "Logie was trying to teach me how to play 'the city is ours' on the key board."

'Well…' James thinks to himself, maybe he just liked to make believe Logan's bad at the keyboard (it's endlessly frustrating being friends with a guy like Logan- though James rarely actually felt it because he was always better at the most important things- singing and dancing.)

Logan appeared into view and Kendall's face lights up at the sight of him, "your image has been restored" he tells him brightly.

"What?" Logan asks incredulously, Kendall points an accusatory finger at James "he said you were bad at keyboard- don't worry I didn't believe him for a second. You're great at everything."

James gasped, "I didn't even say that" he whirled to Logan to repeat the sentiment with the utmost sincerity but Logan isn't looking at him (he studiously hadn't been looking at him for several days.)

James face fell.

He tackled Kendall because even if he couldn't get Logan to smile at him, he could still get sweet revenge on Kendall Knight.

At least 50% was right with the world.

******BTR******

Sometimes it feels to Logan like he and Kendall had known each other a lot longer than a month (not that it feels like they've been friends forever just an feeling that you have been around someone along time- like a cousin or something.)

Logan attributes this to why Kendall is so good at getting under his skin.

Kendall waits for the perfect moment to strike- Logan had been hiding out in their classroom/broom closet during their designated lunch hour. It hadn't been long since Carlos dragged an excitable James out yelling that they were 'off to get corndogs and pick up girls- not necessarily in that order.'

"Why are you so mopey?" Kendall cocked his head at Logan, like he was trying to work out a difficult puzzle. "I'm not mopey..." Logan looked up from his book momentarily to glare at the blonde, Kendall snorted in response "yes you are- you only read fiction when you're feeling sorry for yourself."

Logan looked down at his book "how? Why would you even know that?" Kendall shone him a glaring bright grin "I make it my business to know these things."

"Creepy" Logan muttered hugging the book to his chest he got up and made a move to leave. "Okay, okay" Kendall jogged behind him and maneuvered around him blocking the exit "so maybe James mentioned it to Carlos and I happened to over hear."

"Not getting any less creepy Kendall- why do you insist on spying on people?" Logan sat on Carlos' desk in defeat, Kendall mirrored his action; he sat down on James' desk- sitting on top of James' abandoned books. "It's how I get to know people."

"Why are we talking about this?" Logan asked in a frustrated tone, Kendall grinned "no reason- it got you talking though and since you've been quiet for -I don't know- the past TWO DAYS! I'm counting this as a win."

"I have not" Logan glared "now get off there before James comes back and finds you sitting on his books." Logan's face changed at the mention of James, Kendall wasn't sure how exactly- but something was different.

"What was that?" Kendall sat up "what was what?" Logan backed away from Kendall, hopping off the desk in a smooth motion and edging deeper into the classroom. "Your voice went all funny when you said James' name. Oh! Oh! This is about James!"

Logan raced across the room and tackled Kendall, placing a hand across his mouth. "Talk a little louder why don't you?"

"Dude!" Kendall shoved him off "what's the deal? It's not like your mad at him, so what is it?"

Logan sighed, "I was kind of a jerk to him the other day" he said finally "so?" Kendall laughed "your being kind of a jerk to him right now- what with you ignoring him and all."

"I'm not talking to you about this- James and I… we have a system, he understands." Logan is confident Kendall could never fully comprehend the way James and Logan worked- it was a system they had spent eleven years perfecting.

"Are you so sure?"

Logan glares at Kendall and then looked down at his book, "you know our reading assignment is due tomorrow right? I'm not actually moping?"

"You do know I didn't hear James say that right- it was a shot in the dark, it seemed like a thing you'd do" Kendall snorted "even when your pouting, you're a huge nerd about it."

Logan chucked his book at Kendall, he wondered if James' 'don't make friends with Kendall' clause in their friendship was still in effect. Logan hoped not or he was doing a horrible job at keeping up with the code.

It was nice having friends. His whole life he'd always only ever had one friend, and it had been as wonderful as it had been isolating. Logan knew he had grown up stunted when it came to forming real meaningful relationships. He and James both had- that's why it had been a blessing they found each other.

Now it seemed like a blessing they'd also found Kendall and Carlos.

"Kendall" he looked up at the blonde and gave him his best smile, "thanks for caring."

Kendall smiled back easily, like it came so easy to him "of course Logie- what else am I going to do?"

"I feel like I owe you" Logan muttered and that hit Kendall like a ton of bricks, because he had noticed Logan like to keep things balanced, to never be indebted to anyone… but to think he 'owed him' because Kendall had cared about his wellbeing.

Was a little messed up in his opinion.

"I'll think of something" Logan said brightly and skipped over to the door, "in the mean time- if you buy me lunch I'll give you a synopsis on the book so you can write that paper for tomorrow."

Kendall was going to have to worry about it some other time.

******BTR******

"So do we actually know anything about their parents?"

Kendall and Carlos were sitting on their respective beds, they were gossiping about their band mates- a disturbingly frequent occurrence as of late. It made Kendall feel like one of those teenage girls he KNEW Katie would never grow up to be. Carlos had no such reservations about teenage girl-isms, and had always been rather gun-ho about incorporating his new friends into their small two-person friendship circle.

He just thought the best was to do that was to talk about them behind their backs.

"Oh um- James' mum sells make up or something… maybe an Avon lady?" Carlos responds "I like Avon ladies- their so friendly and they always smell so nice" he gives Kendall a big dopey grin and Kendall snaps at him "yes AND." Carlos rubs his neck in embarrassment "his dad works at a music store or something? I really don't know, James NEVER talks about his parents."

"I'm sure he said they were divorced" Kendall said quickly "but you know Logan says even less about his parents- I mean I've at LEAST seen James on the phone to his mum once or twice, Logie may as well be an orphan."

"Nah" Carlos responded immediately "if he were an orphan he would have been able to sing better." Kendall gave Carlos an amused look "what makes you think that?" Carlos rolls his eyes at Kendall, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"BECAUSE all the orphans in Annie could sing," Carlos gasped "Oh! You don't think that mean Miss Hannigan wont let him get adopted do you? KENDALL WE HAVE TO ADOPT LOGAN!"

Kendall is in hysterics, he fell back on the bed "Carlos man- I think your logic is FLAWED!" he broke into a fit of very unmanly giggles.

"Plus- James said Logan's dad worked away I think- I have no clue about his mum though." Both boys struck a thoughtful pose, looking off into the distance; trying to imagine what Logan's mum- Mrs. Mitchell would look like…

The most they could collectively come up with was Logan in a wig and dress, which sent them into another fit of uncontrollable giggles (it was understood though unspoken that Logan would make an some what attractive girl though.)

"Do you think… maybe they came from abusive homes?" Kendall asked quietly, which sucked the humor right out of the conversation. "I mean they did let them stay with strangers- move halfway across the country… and they haven't come visited."

"That doesn't mean anything" Carlos said grumpily "my parents haven't visited yet- it's only been a month."

"These would be the same parents who video chat with you for two hours every night" Kendall rolled his eyes. "I think you talk to your mum about as much as I do- and seeing as MINE is in the same state as me, excuse me if I don't think you have neglectful parents."

Carlos bit his lip "what… what if they really do have bad parents? What do we do then?" He hugged his pillow; he was sort of worried for the two Wisconsin boys. Kendall shrugged "donno- I guess it doesn't really matter now… if they're here with us."

"But what if our demo doesn't get picked?"

A look passed over Kendall's face that strongly suggested he hadn't even thought of this as a possibility. Until that very second Carlos hadn't entertained the thought either- it was one of the nice and frustrating things about being friends with Kendall. Things just happen the way Kendall wanted them.

That wasn't enough of a guarantee for either of them at the moment though.

"I had forgotten that we were doing a demo… there's only two months left…" Kendall muttered, the cogs turning in his head. Carlos knew that look and pulled his legs down to touch the ground so he could spring into at action at a moments notice (which really was the amount of notice Kendall gave him if he was scheming.)

"Is this plan going to hurt?" Carlos asked reproachfully, he always asked this regardless of what the plan ended up being- he wasn't taking any chances after the great llama caper of 2008. Kendall rolled his eyes "Carlos" he scolded, "aren't you supposed to be the fearless one? I'm SO disappointed."

Carlos glared- he hadn't fallen for a line like that in years, something Kendall was aware of but didn't stop him from trying to goad him. It was probably because Carlos was very goad-able… but Kendall's constant abuse of that knowledge was reprehensible.

"Fine" Carlos huffed "what have you got?"

Kendall smirked, he liked when he got Carlos to crack (though it lacked a certain challenge) unfortunately though Kendall had wracked his brain the best he could come up with was… "Make sure we get picked up by the label."

That shouldn't be too hard right?

******BTR******

Carlos found James in a funk in a corner of the room he shared with Logan. Kendall had assured him that he had dealt with whatever messiness that was currently between James and Logan. Normally Carlos would immediately be assured- because Kendall always knew how to deal with the unpleasantness in a way that left Carlos out of it.

Only Carlos didn't want to keep out of it- and not just because Logan didn't make pancakes when he was all moody.

Carlos liked to think he had somewhat bonded with James. The Wisconsin boy was a constant surprise, Carlos had never met someone so self-sacrificing and self absorbed (he had previously thought it was impossible to be both at the same time.)

And when James smiled- well Carlos wanted to smile with him. That's probably why no matter what; whether Big Time Rush was a big time hit or a big time flop, James was going to be a loved by millions of people.

"So why is it lucky?"

James wasn't a hard nut to crack and Carlos knew getting James to smile was all about the subject matter. That's why he had agreed to the stupid make over in the first place.

"It just is" James smirked pulling the comb out of his pocket the way a fencer might unsheathed their rapier. Carlos winced but let James run the comb through his short black hair; Carlos could see James frowning behind him through the mirror. Though Carlos was happy to see that his plan was working. It wasn't a deep etched frown but a light frustrated frown that Carlos had grown used to seeing on people's faces when they tried to do something with his hair.

"It's awfully short" he said lightly and put his comb away, instead preferring to muss the strands with his fingers. James understood the messy look in theory. He'd never styled anyone that way though- mostly because the only person's hair he could get his hands on was Logan's. Logan had always been funny about his hair, fairly meticulous and spent a fair while styling it (even more so now that it was shorter for some unknown reason.)

"I can work with this though," he promised and left Carlos in front of his vanity mirror to go across to the messy side of the room. He stopped at Logan's dresser and searched until he found a small container. He skipped back over to Carlos.

"You know" Carlos laughed, "I always thought Logan would be the neat freak…"

James had by far the neatest room (well- half a room) in the whole apartment, and while Logan's side looked nothing like the quarantined disaster zone of the combined mess that made up Kendall and Carlos' room, it still was a right state in comparison to James'.

"Logan has this whole mad professor thing going for him that I don't understand- I like to keep things in order because I CARE about my material possessions." He wrinkles his nose and looks at Logan's half of the floor "see all those wrinkles- this is why he has to iron his clothes- and that just makes him look like a giant nerd."

"The sweater vests don't help" Carlos snickered, and James snickered right along with him "no- they really don't, but I can't get him to part with them."

Carlos grinned and then shuddered as James ran his hand through his hair again, "dude. What did you just put in my hair?" James seemed lost in concentration- apparently the 'messy look' took just as much styling and effort as any other style. "It's Cuda's massive hold gel- I got it for Logan when it started wearing it in spikes- but he refuses to wear anything from the Cuda line."

James flipped his hair and held the tub up close to his face like a spokes model "bara-wear-ya-cuda."

Carlos eyes James wearily in the mirror "why wont he use it?" he asked suspiciously- if Logan was against something… well it didn't sound good to be on the opposing side, even if James was on that side. "There may have been a few incy tiny recalls on a few products and Logan still has his boxers tied in a knot about it."

"What's a recall?" Carlos asked, James snorted, "that's exactly what I said!"

Carlos furrowed his brow "yeah… but I was being sincere," James gave him a wide grin, a grin that Carlos was slowly become accustom to and meant 'we are more alike than you know.'

"I was being sincere at the time too- it means that they had to get all the stuff they sold back."

"Why?" Carlos asked, James shrugged "donno some technical reason- mum called it a public relations nightmare. I donno, I still LOVE Cuda products!"

"You're mum…" Carlos said thoughtfully, James was more or less just messing with his hair now instead of trying to seriously style it. James pouted; Carlos' hair was an inch to short to make into a faux hawk.

"Your mum sells make up for a living right?" Carlos finally asked, he'd been dying to snoop a little (he was resigned to the fact he and Kendall had turned into miserable little gossips when it came to their band mates- so he might as well just embrace it.) "Is that why you're so concerned with your appearance?"

"Um something like that" James said uneasily, pulling out his lucky comb and smoothing out an unfortunate, stubborn clump of hair on the back of Carlos' head.

"Is she nice?" Carlos asked and James shrugged "I guess… okay no. She's not, but that's never really bothered me."

Carlos tried to comprehend that sentiment; he'd never met a mother who wasn't… maternal. "What's Logan's mother like?" he asked he felt bolder seeing as James seemed to have no trouble answering, James rolled his eyes. "She's like ten times worse I swear- I mean my mother loves me… she just always loved her job more. But with Logan… I donno."

Carlos sat silently and James' fingers stilled, the gel was drying- so he started styling it properly. "It's not anything I should be sharing," he tells Carlos in a warning tone "but she told him not to call- said it was impersonal to talk to someone over the phone."

"Isn't it impersonal not to you know talk to someone?" Carlos snapped and James nodded "I never really understood how their relationship works… she's not unloving, she just sort of forgets she's a mother most of the time…" James' frown dissolved into a wicked smile "on the upside it made it really easy for us to sneak out of his place."

James let go of Carlos and looked proud, Carlos stared at his reflection. He couldn't tell the difference. But that's not something he was going to tell James.

"It looks great James" he beamed (which is honest- because Carlos always thought his hair looked pretty cool even if his mum made him keep it short after his sister pulled out large clumps of hair when they got in that one fight. Carlos had never been more aware of how girls will fight dirty.)

"Of course" James scoffed and then looked Carlos up and down, "now we just need to fix your clothes."

Carlos looked down at his purple hoodie, jeans and mismatched socks, "what's wrong with what I'm wearing."

"What's right with it?"

******BTR******

Kendall watched Logan reading a heavy book through narrowed eyes. He had been SO sure he had straightened that boy out and by now he and James would be frolicking in a field somewhere (he assumed that was something along the lines of what they did when he and Carlos weren't around- they had an… odd friendship.)

"Why aren't you frolicking?" Kendall demanded, and it said a lot to how far they had come in a short time that Logan didn't bat an eyelash at Kendall's random questions. "I am" he told the blonde "in my mind- there's no suitable frolic space in LA."

"fair enough" Kendall conceded "but why aren't you with James?"

"He's getting his nails done or something with Carlos" Logan sniggered behind his book, and that made Kendall sit up a little straighter. "What?" Kendall snorted, "well- I think they were going to do extreme skateboarding but I know James. Anything that starts extreme ends with him breaking a nail and bullying someone into a manicure."

Kendall grabbed Logan's hand and examined his nails to find them in EXTREMELY good condition. "That's after we played basketball… he made me come get a facial with him once after he tried out for track- apparently all that wind is bad for his skin."

Kendall chuckled and shook his head, James was an odd, odd little man (well okay maybe not little since he had a couple of inches on Kendall.)

"So are you gonna make up with him or what?" Kendall asked impatiently, the sooner they made up the sooner James and his feelings could be classified under 'none of Kendall's business' again.

"I'm made his favourite for dinner- I should have done that straight away, nothing says forgive me like vegan lasagna, it's warming in the oven."

Kendall made a face; Logan had used his least favourite word when it came to cooking (vegan.) Logan who was a jack-of-all-trades and clearly a physic picked this up and added "And underneath our lasagna, is another lasagna I made for the rest of you. I found the recipe online it has like four different types of cheeses."

Kendall sent him an adoring look (he does love cheese) and flopped down next to him on the couch. "So your not moping, James is happy, I'm getting lasagna… then why are you still reading that stupid book? You already handed in your report… I know I handed in mine." Kendall actually seemed quite pleased with himself over this fact, their teacher (Mrs. Bar-_I-can't-be-bothered-remembering-your-name-because-I-have-already-thought-of-an-ingenous-way-to-get-rid-of-you-_oski) had been suitably impressed.

Logan held up the book "you're a moron Kendall- it's not the same book" he displayed the title to him. "Still boring though- why would you be reading… The ASPA official school registry?" Kendall's face dawned with semi-understanding "…Gustavo showed me this book? He said it was filled with every ASPA licensed teacher in the area- but you weren't there for that conversation."

"Carlos and I were spying in the vents," Logan said easily and Kendall gave him a bug-eyed look "what?" Logan said defensively "I wanted to know if he was kicking you out of the band… and Carlos said you guys play spies all the time without me." Logan actually pouted and Kendall pinched his cheek "aw Logie, don't be like that."

"ANYWAY" he wriggled out of Kendall's grip, "I 'borrowed' the book" he gave Kendall a devious smirk. Kendall raised his eyebrow suitably impressed "how'd you manage that?"

"stole Kelly's key and made a copy when she wasn't looking" he grinned, Kendall stared at him dumbfounded "…was that wrong?" Kendall's face lit up "noway! Now what are we going to do with it? Burn it? Guitar dude says they have bonfires all the time by the pool!"

Logan glared at him hugging the book close to his chest "no we are not going to burn the book! And what have I told you about hanging out with that dirty hippie" he scolded. Kendall smiled sheepishly, "okay then Mr Smartypants what are we gonna do with it."

Logan opened the book like it was obvious "we're not going to… read it? Are we?" Kendall asked in great disgust, he had never understood Logan's habit of reading. Not when their were so many fun things that he could be doing instead… like letting Kendall teach him how to skate (and eventually play hockey- he still had his heart set on Logan being his future goalie.)

That's not to say Kendall didn't enjoy when Logan's love of reading DID become useful.

"This book isn't just a list of teachers" Logan told him (Kendall briefly wondered if it was possible to hear someone smirking) "it also has the rules every ASPA school needs to follow."

Kendall's eyes lit up "you have an idea?"

Logan nodded "not a plan… I thought you'd handle that but look according to this we're entitled to; hot lunches, outdoor breaks AND interscholastic sports programs."

"WE DIDN'T GET ANY OF THAT!"

"Exactly- so if Gustavo wants to continue tutoring us-" he hands the book to Kendall who grins "he's got to play by these rules!"

"So… do you have enough to go on to make a good enough plan to get us out of the school of Rocque… or at least get us lunch breaks and a teacher who's not certifiable.

"Oooooh yeah- I'll call it the 'how-we-beat-the-big-dog-at-his-own-game-and-took-over-the-school' plan."

"It's catchy" Logan replied flatly "but since it was my idea, I get to name it."

"Sounds fair" Kendall conceded "gonna be tough after I set the bar so high."

******BTR******

James was laid out on the couch, he moaned holding his stomach. "It's your own fault you know" Katie told unsympathetically "you didn't have to eat ALL of Logan's special lasagna."

"Said the girl who had like three slices of the cheese one" James sniped back "and yes I totally had too! It was delicious- and Logan says I'm sorry was lasagna, if I didn't eat it… he'd think I didn't forgive him!"

"Forgive him for what?" she asked, James shrugged "not sure- but if it'll get him to talk to me again I'd eat ten lasagnas!" James told her with complete and utter conviction that made her giggle. He flopped back down on the couch, "be gone demon child- or I shall cast ye out!"

She snickered and walked back into the kitchen where her mum was serving up desert and carefully wrapping the precious, precious leftovers (Mrs Knight was fully aware of her own… lack of culinary prowess. That's why she invented fish stick Friday.)

"James forgives you" she told Logan and sniggered "he made himself sick for you dude- I think its love."

Logan's face lit up and he rushed off to the lounge area.

Katie sighed, she briefly wondered if she should tell him of her plans for them to get married so he can be her trophy husband and cook her stuff and look pretty while she unreasonably successful in the field of her choosing.

She decided against it. it seemed a little forward.

Over in the lounge room Logan discovered James was no longer alone on the couch, in fact Kendall and Carlos were sitting on top of him, controllers in hand, attempting to play some shoot em' up game.

"Logesss helppppp meeeee" he whined, his hand shot up and he waved it around. Logan walked up to the boys and pinched Carlos' side, the boy immediately squealed with laughter and fell off the couch.

"Dude we NEED a new couch- this ones lumpy" Kendall complained, James shifted one of his legs free and kicked the blonde. "That's not the couch jackass- that's my legs!"

Kendall gave him a look of mock innocence "oh my God James! Have I been sitting on you this whole time?" 

Logan pushed Kendall and then helped James into a sitting position so Logan could wedge himself between the town bickering boys. "What game are you playing?"

"It doesn't have a name" Kendall admitted and handed his controller to Logan "it was like a buck fifty at discount Gorge's discount store back in Minnesota."

"Speaking of Minnesota" Logan grinned at Carlos "your family called- they were very friendly… they said you should call them back." Carlos watched Logan's face carefully but it remained as light and bright as ever that maybe he just imagined that whole conversation he had with James about parents.

"Awesome! I miss them so much!"

"I miss my old bed" Kendall said suddenly, "not me" James grinned "I had mine imported over- a man's bed in his sanctuary."

"I think that's supposed to be shed James" Logan corrected "yeah… I guess you could have SOME fun in a shed. But it's a lot easier when you bring a bed into the picture."

Carlos' nose scrunched up; "gross dude- remind me to never sit on your bed."

"Or his shed" Logan added with a cackle, that Kendall quickly joined in on.

Kendall looked around the room, "ya know I don't think it's just the couch that needs to go- what we need it a fresh coat of paint."

"New furniture."

"A foosball table."

"Oh, Oh a swirly slide!"

Logan turned to look at Carlos incredulously "what's wrong with the stairs?" Carlos shrugged "you said I couldn't slide down the banisters anymore- I don't see what the harm is, Mrs. Knight said I buffer the railing."

"Yes and what a great piece of parenting that was" Logan rolled his eyes "stay off the banister."

"I defiantly would if we had a swirly slide" Carlos muttered to himself and Logan patted him on the head.

"You know maybe there's something we can do…" Kendall trailed off and Carlos looked up at him expectantly "plan?" he asked hopefully (he REALLY wanted that slide) Kendall shook his head "you know I don't like to plan on the side when I'm in the middle of a scheme."

"What scheme?"

"Plan winter blitz" Kendall grumbles, Carlos' face lit up "cool name! You never think of cool plan names Kendall!"

"I thought of it" Logan said proudly, "but it's not winter…" James said in confusion.

"It is in Australia."

"So this plan has to do with Australia?" James asked curiously, he hoped it didn't involve moving- he had only just got situated in LA and besides didn't everything try to kill you in Australia?

James had heard nothing but bad things about those Koala bears.

"Well nothing" Logan admitted "but it's a whole let better than what Kendall wanted to call it."

"Hey!" Kendall protested, Logan shoved him "well?"

"Yeah… okay."

"So are we gonna hear about this plan" Carlos whined impatiently, "sure Carlos" Logan smiled, "but first I want to say how fabulous your looking- the styled hair, the clothes, the MANICURE… I think someone's looking like a Californian."

Carlos blushed dark red, "dude. Not cool."

**Please Review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: okay, okay so I haven't updated this in a little while- but I did give you warning because I had those exams. I am very sorry about that… forgive me? Anyway thought I'd say thanks so much for ALL the reviews I got for the last chapter- you guys are pretty amazing.**

Kendall woke up to find James and Carlos in their pajamas, eating cereal on their couch (he was seriously going to have to do something about that couch.)

There wasn't anything particularly odd about this (aside from the fact that Logan hadn't made anyone breakfast- and was nowhere in sight.) No the odd thing about the scenario was the colourful masks/bandanas they gad tied around their eyes.

"Oh, oh it's on" James cheered excitedly, sloshing milk onto Carlos' lap. "Dude!" Carlos wined but made no move to clean the mess, "shh" James glared "the theme song is starting."

"Sing-a-along?" Carlos asked with a grin and James smirked back "oh have too."

"Teenage mutant Ninja turtles, teenage mutant Ninja turtles, teenage mutant Ninja turtles- heroes in a half-shell! Turtle power!"

"Those aren't the words," Kendall told them with great amusement, both boys jumped in a totally gratifying way (for Kendall- probably not to his mum or the cleaning staff seeing as there were two bowels of cereal turfed on the carpet.)

"Yes they are!" Carlos argued and stood up, milk running off his shirt-making shudder. "Yeah" James agreed "We're purists there is no other ninja turtles like the eighties ninja turtles and anyway what would you know- I bet your like a samurai jack fan."

"Samurai Jack is awesome" Kendall responded immediately and Carlos nodded. "Yeah but we're not aloud to watch it anymore since we made ninja stars to break out of jail with."

James stared at him in a look of surprise "being associated with you is going to get me arrested one day isn't it." Carlos giggled and shrugged "probably- it's always the fun plans that get us in the most trouble."

Kendall skidded on the wet carpet and fell onto the couch (and James who had sat back down on said carpet.) the blonde righted himself with an air of dignity that no male teen should still have after falling face first into another male teen's crotch.

"The man is always trying to hold us down" he snickered. "So why are you such a sissy James? Who's holding you down?"

"Oh I know! I know!" Carlos jumped up and down "It's Logan right? Logan's your man? The one holding you down?"

After James was done glaring at Kendall for sniggering so hard he MUST have strained something. "I didn't have a man, I had a woMAN- my mum isn't the kind of person you want to piss off."

"Oh yeah" Kendall laughed "what can your mum do?"

"Terrifying things- at least that's what Nellie Kavoki says" Logan said gravely, he popped up behind the couch scaring the crap out of them. He narrowed his eyes as he followed the trail of milk on two of the boys that weaved on the couch to the ground. "What did you guys do?"

"Who's Nelly Kaviki?" Carlos asked ignoring Logan's question and Kendall rolled his eyes "she was some big shot fashion designer- you remember, she was on the news for using third world kids to made shoes or something. She went to jail for like a bizzilon years for a whole bunch of stuff."

"Ohhh what did your mum do to her?" Carlos asked sincerely and Kendall snorted- as if James' mum actually knew some big name criminal fashion designer.

"Nothing that can be proved in a court of law" James answered quickly and Logan shuddered "don't talk about it" he raised his hand and James nodded enthusiastically "she can sense when people talk about it."

James' phone chose that exact moment to ring and they all jumped, he stood up and answered the phone. A look of dread crossed his face "um hi mum- fancy you calling" he practically raced out of the room.

"Is James' mum a witch?" Carlos asked voice filled with concern, Logan shrugged "we're not sure- they're were rumours but no one could ever get any proof…"

"Speaking of things I don't want to see proof of-" he gave Carlos a poignant look and then his eyes went back to the floor, Carlos looked up at him blankly. Kendall elbowed him in the ribs, which only seemed to agitate the oblivious boy.

"Ow! Man, why did you do that?"

"It's official" Kendall sighed to Logan "he's been domesticated- he's too stupid to go back into the wild, he'll need to be trained." Carlos shot Kendall a disturbed look "dude! What the hell are you talking about?" Kendall slapped Carlos on the back "dude- your wife is pissed that mess you made" he pointed at the floor and comprehension finally dawned across the Latino's face.

"I'm going to turn my back now" Logan told Carlos "and when I turn back I'd better not see anything staining our carpet."

"I'd hurry" he gave Carlos a sharp look "before the milk sets" Carlos' eyes went wide and let out a distressed high pitched noise and bolted out of the room.

"Does milk really set in carpet?" Kendall laughed, watching Carlos franticly collect cleaning supplies from the kitchen. "No idea" Logan sniggered while he grabbed a chair from the dining room not soaked in milk.

"Have you ever seen me clean ever?" he picked up the half filled cereal bowl James had abandoned and started to eat. Kendall stared at him "well... no" he admitted "but you're so-"

"Anal?" Logan supplied "detail orientated? A perfectionist? Am I getting close?" the dark haired boy sniggered at the faces Kendall made at his suggestions "I was going to say responsible- but you know those other ones work too."

"Sometimes I think you forget we're the same age Ken" Logan snorted into his cereal "I'm not perfect."

"I know" Kendall said defensively, even though he knew subconsciously he had catalogued Logan as more of a cool adult than a cool guy who was also his own age. Mostly because Kendall couldn't stand people similar to him achieving more than him- and if Kendall acknowledged Logan was a sixteen-year-old boy Kendall might just end up hating the genius.

Kendall shoved an entire piece of toast into his mouth. It had long since gone cold because apparently banter and arguing was more fulfilling to him than actual food.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something Logie" a smirk crossed his face, and the boy being smirked at physically recoiled. "No" he responded immediately and Kendall's face fell "what? You don't even know what I was gonna ask!"

"I don't care- the answer is still no."

Kendall crossed his arms moodily.

_This_ was why Kendall had never thought of Logan as someone who was the same age as him. He was an unrepentant stick in the mud.

...Unfortunately he made Kendall's plans work better than the blonde had ever dreamed of. Not only had plan 'winter blitz' (still a stupid name) been a huge success- with their new non-psycho teacher Mrs. Bitterman (apparently of no relation to Mr. Bitters the easily aggravated hotel manager.) They ALSO now had lockers, a proper break between school and recording, a period for PE AND were provided with a hot lunch- that was served during an actual lunch period.

On top of that- and most impressively they had gotten away with messing with Gustavo for a whole week- without any kind of repercussions.

Kendall didn't know in what stage of the plan that he started turning to Logan to confirm but it had really helped to have someone who wasn't going to blindly agree with everything he said. Though he sometimes really, REALLY wished Logan would just agree blindly (he had shut down three perfectly good plans- and two questionable ones this week alone!)

"Ppppppppu-u-u-u-u-leeeaaasse Logie!" Kendall whined, setting his face to his most pathetic expression (the one he perfected in third grade… and stopped working on most of the population of Minnesota by freshman year- but hey Logan wasn't FROM Minnesota.)

Carlos rushed back in and began furiously scrubbing at the floor "don't look yet Logie!" he stretched and Logan smirked and turned his back to the boy franticly trying to scrub the already time beaten carpet.

"This place sucks- I just want to figure out a way that we can renovate or something!" He threw his hands in the air and then called out to the kitchen "bbbbbabbbbby sisssssister."

Katie's head popped out from the kitchen, "what is it Kendall?" She snapped and took a vicious bite out of her pop tart and then shot Logan a small smile "good morning Logan."

"Good morning Katie- is you excited for today?" He gave her a wide smile and she nodded enthusiastically, "what's today?" Kendall asked curiously, jumping up and down, it wasn't fair- HE had called Katie into the room and now she and Logan were ignoring her.

"She's starting up her business today- managing talent" Logan explained to Kendall with an eye roll, "she was talking about it for ages last night." Katie nodded "that's some great listening skills you've got their big bro" she snickered, he grinned at her a waggled his fingers "no more sniping Zaytsev- didn't mum tell you just last night tell you off for being too young for sarcasm."

"Yeah like she could stop me, and Zaytsev? Really? Try Lyudmila Pavlichenko bro- there's a women you can look up to" she raised her hands to make a pretend gun and aimed at him "and I'll snipe all I want." She cocked her hand and closed one of her eyes like she was going to shoot him.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say you looked up to a murder baby sister" Kendall narrowed his eyes and Katie stuck her tongue out at him.

Logan snorted and stood up, "oh you kids and your crazy games" he moved behind Katie and repositioned her hands. "There you go kid, you were never going to get a pretend direct hit the way you were aiming that."

Kendall threw a pillow at him, and Logan laughed taking his/James' bowl into the kitchen and Kendall turned back to Katie "anyway Katie I called you in here because I wanted to be on my side about something."

She raised her eyebrow "why? What did you want?" Logan walked back in the room and her eyes followed him. Her eyebrow rose even higher and she gestured to him "are you and Logan having a disagreement" she used finger quotes around the word 'disagreement' and Kendall frowned hard at her.

"He refuses to be part of my plan to remodel the apartment" he didn't bother pouting at Katie- she had NEVER been vulnerable to his sad faces. "You have a plan?" she asked curiously, Kendall rubbed the back of his head and shrugged "well I would if he helped me think of one!"

Logan walked back into the room and threw his hands in the air "Kendall I can hear you bitchen from the kitchen- I'll help you but you need to do me a favour first."

James walked back in the room; he looked dejected "so… that was mum." Logan patted him on the back "aw- don't be sad" Logan ran a hand through the back of James hair and James leaned in to him. "How can I not be- the woman just berated me for forty minuets."

"I know what would make you feel better," Logan said brightly, "what?" James said excitedly, "shopping."

James jumped up and down "we're going shopping?" Logan shook his head "I can't- I'm helping Carlos study. But I found you the perfect substitute."

Logan turned and James followed him until his eyes rested on Kendall.

"Oh hell no."

******BTR******

"James" Kendall said unsurely, "I don't know how to tell you this… this isn't shopping…" Kendall looked around the museum with a critical eye. James raised his eyebrow at the blonde "Kendall… you don't honestly expect me to believe, you think I don't know what shopping is, do you?"

Kendall shrugged "yesterday you asked me why your calculator wouldn't give you an answer to what's twelve times zero- I'm just checking." James glared at him "math is hard okay? And yes I'm aware we are in a museum."

"Is that what this place is called?"

"Yes okay, shut up! Anyway we are shopping here- we're going to the souvenir shop, Logan wanted me to pick up a book" Kendall looked at one of the models and tapped it- the whole thing fell over.

"DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" James screeched and ran to pick up the model "I can not afford to pay for anything you break!"

"It's quite alright young man" a woman popped up between them, startling both of them. "These models are SUPPOSED to be touched- learning is a HANDS ON activity" she gave them both wide smiles and then scowled "unlike those damn art galleries."

"Meg are you STILL scaring the customers with your rants about art and expression through touch?" A man in a similar uniform came up to them "well I was going to try…" the woman smiled and the man leant over and told them in a stage whisper "she used to be a tour guide at an art gallery- it did not end well for Meg… or the gallery… or those poor, poor tourists."

"ANYWAY" Meg cut over the top of the man "we were just about to start a tour- if you want to come past the foyer."

"Um actually we just-" James started but Meg grabbed him and pulled him along "yeah" Kendall said in concern "we really just want to-" The man grabbed him and pushed him along. "Don't worry young man- we know why you're here!"

"You do?" James asked in a strained voice trying to dig in his heels "cause this isn't the way to the souvenir-"

"YOU'RE HERE FOR THE JOY OF LEARNING!" Meg stretched "Oh Rick! Isn't it lovely when you see young people taking an interest?" Rick nodded enthusiastically "Oh ABSOLUTELY Meg! You know what I think these boys would enjoy?"

"I'd enjoy you letting me go" Kendall struggled and the man- Rick just held tighter.

"I think I have an idea Rick!" She smiled deranged and threw open a door shoving James in "the planetarium!" Kendall began struggling harder as Rick took one of his arms and Meg took the other, they poised him towards the room. "Let go of me you freaks!" Kendall screamed and the two museum workers looked at each other and shrugged "okay."

The chuck him face first into the planetarium and slammed the door.

The floor underneath Kendall groaned in pain- okay strike that 'JAMES' was groaning in pain after Kendall had been thrown on top of him.

"The planetarium exhibition doesn't start for another hour" Meg called through the door, "but I'm sure you buys can find something to do- see! A planetarium is a great place to take a date!"

Kendall sprung up and started pounding on the door, "LET US OUT OF HERE YOU FREAKS!"

On the other side of the door the two museum workers smiled, "they sound like they're learning something" Rick cheered. They high fived "oh yeah- we are GREAT at our jobs!"

A third museum worker strolled up to them, "what do you two think you're doing?" She glared at them, "you're supposed to be starting the tours- the planetarium exhibit doesn't start for another HOUR!"

The banging started again and Meg and Rick surreptitiously stepped in front of the planetarium doors. "What was that?" She narrows her eyes, "Rick's heart" Meg said quickly "he's madly in love with you- so his heart thumps like crazy."

"I do not have time for this- get back to work or I will have you fired" she went to leave and then paused and looked Rick up and down "oh and Rick?"

"Yes?" The man grinned at her widely; she made a face and shuddered. "Not even if you were the last man on earth."

******BTR******

"Do I really have to study?" Carlos asked Logan in concern and Logan shook his head "nah- I just wanted Kendall and James to spend the day together. If I was there things would just get out of hand."

"As appose to them being by themselves? Logan are you trying to get away with murder?" Katie snickered and Logan ruffled her hair "nah- those two have more in common then they'd like to believe, I think they'll realise that after today."

"So they're off shopping then?" Carlos asked, he wiped his hands on his jeans- he had finally scrubbed the mark out of the carpet only to realise that the carpet had actually at one point been blue not grey. The stark blue spot looked even more noticeable than the milk stain (which had barely been a stain at all) so Carlos eventually just threw a rug over the area and called it a day.

"Well they're stopping at the science museum for me first" Logan admitted "I wanted this really specific book on astronomy and they have it in stock at the moment."

"You like stars Logie?" Carlos asked brightly and Logan nodded "yeah their really cool, James and I use to go star gazing all the time when he was younger… well okay, we'd camp outside if his parents were throwing things at one another." a fond smile cross his face and then he frowned "but I can't see them here- so I kind of wanted the book."

A thoughtful look crossed Carlos' face.

"Seeing stars in a book isn't like seeing them in real life wouldn't it be cool if you could see them up close-"

There was a loud knock on the door, and the three of them jumped and all stared at the door. The knock persisted until suddenly there was a loud thump from Mrs Knight's door, followed shortly by a noise that sounded a little like an angry tiger and then Mrs Knight's voice rang out.

"Can one of you kids PLEASE answer the door?"

Katie ran up to the door and heaved it open, to find Mr Bitters still trying to bang on the door, he promptly fell through the doorway. "Well this can't be good" Katie grinned and then turned to Logan "just remember I did nothing and even if I did there is no way he can prove it was me."

She then skipped past the man.

"You" he glared at Carlos "need to do something about your package."

Both Carlos and Logan shared an amused look and then Logan responded with "his- ah package sir?" Mr Bitters glared menacingly and yelled, "Yes his giant package is causing all sorts of problems."

Carlos couldn't contain his giggles "um- well Mr Bitters" he tried to control himself "there hasn't been any complains about my package before."

"Well there are now! I suggest you do something about it or I will open it for you" he barked and Carlos paled. "No" Logan sniggered "that's not necessary- um I'll I mean we'll handle it."

Logan grimaced at his poor choice of words, Carlos was gripping Logan's should tight and was slowly going purple from laughter. There was no way anyone could say anything to make this conversation sound worse.

"Well could you open it now? Since I had to drag it all the way up here I'm kind of curious to see what's inside."

It just got worse.

Carlos was now rolling in hysterics on the floor and Logan took the package swiftly out of Mr Bitters' hands and slammed the door in his face. "Thank you for delivering this to us Mr Bitters" he called as an after thought but could only hear strange mumblings about ungrateful kids and removing pool privileges through the door.

Logan put the package on the table and stared at it.

"Okay… now I kind of want to know what's in here."

******BTR******

"Why are there no windows in here?" Kendall said in frustration as he tried to ram against the door again, he turned to glare at James who was sitting in one of the seats with his face in his hands. "Uh- because we're in a planetarium?"

"I don't even. Know what. That means" Kendall replied, punctuating every second word by slamming his body against the door. He stopped and made a violent gesture towards the door, "ah- do you maybe wanna HELP?"

"What's the point?" James moaned "this place is a converted bomb shelter- there is no way we are gonna be able to break that door down." Kendall stopped short of trying to smash the unimpressed door and slumped against it "how" he gritted out "could you POSSIBLY know that?"

James pointed to something shiny next to the door, which on closer inspection turned out to be a small plaque. Kendall whipped out his phone to use for light.

'_James Polk's Planetarium was originally designed as a bomb shelter during the cold war as a safety precaution against possible Russian attack.'_

"The Russians tried to attack us?" Kendall asked in outrage and James threw his hands up in the air, "oh my God! How do you even function as a person in society? You're dumber than a box of hair!"

"Hey!" Kendall glared "I am an upstanding member of society… and at least I know you can't divide a number by zero!"

"WHEN WILL I EVEN NEED MATH?"

"WHEN WILL I EVEN NEED HISTORY?"

James sighed and stood up, "looking fighting will get us nowhere- Carlos is always going on about how ah-MA-zing you are at plans and escapes at stuff. Could you just THINK of something?"

"You and Carlos talk about me?" Kendall brightened up and James smacked his face with his hand "wow- it's amazing how you can completely miss the point of something, isn't it Kendall?"

"Fine" Kendall grumbled and sat in the chair "but I have to warn you these things don't just come to me, I need time, peace and quiet and- AH! I got it!"

James jumped "really? Are you always that fast?" Kendall glared at him "when you're this intelligent you don't need time." James shrugged and leaned forward so what the plan?"

"Okay" Kendall pulled out a schematic from nowhere and laid it on the ground, "Kendall… where did that schematic come from?" James asked hesitantly "no time" Kendall told him pressing his finger to his lips, James swotted him away "I mean you didn't even know where we were half an hour ago- how could you have schematics?"

"I told you we don't have time!" Kendall told him slowly, drawing each word out to its fullest possible pronunciation. "In the time in took for you to explain that like the pompous asshole that you are, you could have just told me."

Kendall let out a very put upon sigh and through the schematic down "look James we're friends right?" James scratched his head "are we?" Kendall rolled his eyes "of course we are dumb bell" James points a finger at him a wags it at him "see that's the reason I didn't know we were supposed to be friends. What kind of person makes fun of their friends?"

"I do- look I get it, you've only seen me interact with Carlos who is my best friend and Logan who is… I guess my OTHER best friend- but I'm not sure exactly what you are… but I know, you're a friend… sorta anyway," Kendall rattled off refusing to make any kind of eye contact during this unmanly moment (and James being the kind of guy he was- would understand that wasn't meant to be a slight against him.)

"Anyway as my friend- this pertaining to our previous conversation, you have to understand that things just happen the way I want them to- it's best not to question the mysterious force."

James rose his eyebrow "are you saying you WANTED us to get stuck in a planetarium?"

"Ye- okay no… hum you got me there." Kendall flushed and gave James and awkward grin; James rolled his eyes "the mysterious force sucks!"

"Agreed, now give me a boost so we can climb up to the vents."

******BTR******

"It's…" Logan said almost speechless, "beautiful" Carlos finished for him in complete awe.

"I was going to say an ice cream maker… but I guess your word works too" Logan laughed, he had finally set up the blasted thing and was taking a moment to admire his handy work. Carlos only gave him a moment though before his hands were flipping every switch and turning every knob. Logan was just glad he hadn't plugged it in yet or his band mate might be down a couple of fingers.

"Why did your parents think this was a good idea to send you this?" Logan wondered aloud and Carlos shrugged brightly "I think it's a test" Logan gave him a horrified look "to see if you can make ice cream without destroying everything?"

"What? No of course not. To see if YOU can stop me destroying everything," Carlos told him, so Logan slapped his friend's wondering hands and rolled up his sleeves. "Okay then Mr and Mrs Garcia- challenge accepted."

Logan pulled Carlos down behind the counter and a minuet later they sprung back up again decked out in chef hats and aprons.

Carlos pulled at his apron in surprise "cool! How'd you manage that?" Logan smirked at him "just a little trick Kendall showed me- now have you got the ingredients?"

Carlos nodded hesitantly "I don't understand why we need all this fruit though… I mean ice cream doesn't have fruit." He jangled the bag of bananas and stared at them as if they were suspect. "OUR ice cream will" Logan told him, "It'll taste great, trust me."

"Okay" Carlos said his voice still fairly hesitant, but he started peeling bananas anyway. "Remember just dice them- then mash them," Logan told him before turning to wash the strawberries.

Logan had printed off simple instructions off the Internet and it didn't actually seem hard- the machine would take care of most of the actual preparing and the freezer would ensure they had delicious frozen treats in no time.

He turned back to Carlos who seemed to have been involved in some kind of banana massacre.

"Oh God! Carlos what happened?" Logan cried and started wiping mushy banana off Carlos' face; "I just wanted get a banana peel so I could make Kendall slip like that cartoon dog on TV." Carlos wailed pathetically "but the banana got away from me!"

Logan sighed and grabbed the remote, flipping the channels until it landed on…

"The Ziggle Zaggles will help you mash the bananas," Logan told him "we'll do something about your hair later."

'_Do you wants some bananas? Banana lama lama nama nanas?'_

Logan got back to preparing the ice cream and Carlos followed the word of the Ziggle Zaggles and learned the correct way to create mushy bananas through the power of song, co-ordinated dance and colourful skivvies.

******BTR******

"Okay just a little more" Kendall instructed, leaning in close to James face, James sent bad vibes towards the blonde, since he had to focus and couldn't glare at him. "I know, I know okay? Just let me do this!"

"You're taking forever!" Kendall complained and elbowed James "let me have a go!" James pulled back from the door and let the hairpin sit in the lock "no Kendall- since your brilliant vent escapade didn't work you will NOT be interfering with my brilliant hairpin key plan."

"How was I to know the vents would be just slightly too small to fit us in" Kendall whined "I'm sorry your shoulders got caught and I had to cut your jacket to get you out but that's so in the past! Aren't you over it by now?"

"Kendall it happened ten minuets ago and it was my FAVOURITE jacket" James gritted his teeth and went back to work on the door. "Yeah for like two more days" Kendall whined "then it would have gone out of style and you would have burnt it or given it to the homeless or whatever you do with your 'out of date' clothing."

"Like donate it to fashion challenged band mates?" James mumbled but Kendall wasn't paying attention, to caught up in his wild gesturing and ranting.

"I mean I did you a favour- you're fashion FORWARD now!"

"Ah ha!" James said and stepped back from the door, Kendall rushed forward "what? What? Did you open the door?" he asked excitedly peering over James shoulder, James shrugged him off "no- it broke in the door. I just have resigned myself to the fact I'll never get out of here and be stuck for all eternity here with you and the stars."

"Yeah the stars are kind of annoying" Kendall said and slid down the wall and buried his head in his hands "we should probably work out how to turn of the narrator's voice at least- there's only so much of Ewan McGregor talking about our solar system on loop I can take."

"I think his voice is soothing" James sighed and sat down next to Kendall in a similarly resigned manner. "And at least now I know why Loges likes Venus so much- it does sound like a bitchen' planet."

"Not as good as Pluto" Kendall shoots back, "Pluto's not even a planet" James counters, "It's just like a big ball of ice." He shoves Kendall lightly and Kendall shoves back "yeah better than stupid Venus- I mean what has Venus done for me lately?"

The fight actually started getting physical and the shoving escalated.

"It shares it's name with Micky mouses dog."

"Yeah well my planet is the planet of 'love'- oh I guess that's why you like Pluto then, the only action you get from a girl is the cold shoulder."

"Yeah well Venus is our SISTER planet- it would be just like you to be a little bit too into your sister right James? After all you do come from Wisconsin right?"

"Erg you take that back, you bastard!"

The door swung open and light shone on the boys. James was flat on his back and had a handful of blonde hair he was tugging and was kneeing Kendall who was on top of him trying to pummel him into the ground.

"Oh you guys are still here?" Meg said with a pout and Rick gave her a smug smile as she handed him twenty bucks. "What did I say Meg- teenagers couldn't find their way out of a paper bag."

"Well this social experiment was a complete failure" she sighed "how am I supposed to prove my thesis now?"

"We were a SCIENCE experiment to you?" Kendall roared jumping up off of James and restraining himself from actually hitting the woman. "Well duh" she rolled her eyes "you ARE in a science museum."

"And you got to see a planetarium show for free" Rick added "so really you should be thanking us."

"YOU LOCKED US IN THERE FOR HOURS!"

"Whoa, whoa guys" he grinned waving his hands "you were in their two hours tops- I swear. Man you really must hate each other."

James and Kendall shared a look and then glared at the two museum workers.

"Ergh whatever" James cried, "lets just get the stupid book and go!" Meg perked up at the mention of books "oh! What book did you want?" James pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper out of him jean pocket and shoved it into her hand.

"Space, Stars and their Mysteries- wow that's a great book" she beamed at him and just glared harder "so? Can I buy it or what?"

"Oh sorry, no. We're out of stock."

******BTR******

Logan sighed and finally threw down the rag he had been using to clean the mess Carlos had made in the kitchen. It had taken a considerable time- especially since as soon as they were done 'cooking' Carlos had all but abandoned him yelling about running a very important errand.

The small Latino had run back into the apartment half an hour later but had locked himself in his room. No. Correction. Carlos had locked himself in LOGAN'S room and refused to open the door no matter how much Logan had banged on the door. Logan had eventually given up and ventured into Kendall and Carlos' room to steal Kendall's ipod so he could at least listen to some music while he cleaned.

The demo version of 'Big Time Rush' blared through the speakers as he admired his handy work. Well… that wasn't SO bad.

Something gooey hit Logan's face and his wiped his hand across his cheek… was that… banana? Logan looked up and to his horror to realise he hadn't actually cleaned up the mess- it had just migrated to the roof. Somehow.

Logan dragged a chair into the kitchen and stood on it, he raised his hands but still couldn't 'quite' reach the ceiling. He momentarily thought to break down his door to get Carlos to come out and clean the ceiling- but Carlos was even shorter than Logan (by actual inches- and not because Logan spikes his hair like James had rudely suggested.)

Also, he didn't want to have to replace a door.

Mr Bitters would probably count that as an alteration to the apartment… Logan REALLY needed to get his hands on the tenant agreement Mrs Knight signed. If there was anything Logan was good at, it was finding a loophole.

It complimented Kendall's talent for 'exploiting' loopholes.

Speaking of Kendall, he wondered how the shopping trip was going.

The front door slammed open and James slumped in, "James" Logan smiled at him brightly before jumping off the chair- he'd worry about the ceiling later.

He tackled the taller boy and James' face lit up "Loges" he hugged him fiercely. Logan had missed James; it had been ages since he had gone almost a whole day without seeing the boy (especially since they now shared a room together) "How was your day? Did you and Kendall bond today?" Logan asked brightly and James gave his a shifty look "…my day with Kendall?"

The blonde boy jumped into the apartment and fell onto the ground with his arms stretched wide. "APARTMENT!" he hugged the floor fondly "I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Um- James what happened?" Logan said with a lot of concern clear in his voice, Kendall's head shot up "LOGIE!" he sprung up and sprinted over to the small boy and picked him up, spinning him around. "It's SO good to see you!"

"JAMES?" Logan called out in distress as James just stood back in amusement "mmm yes Loges?"

"What the hell?"

"Oh right, so we went to go get your book" James explained "at the science museum?" Logan asked eagerly, looking around and realised for the first time neither boy had any shopping bags- something incredibly strange since it was JAMES they were talking about.

"Yeah- so there we were minding our own business" James continues but Kendall quickly cut him off "but then these crazy museum workers locked us the planetarium for two hours!"

"T-two hours?" Logan said thoughtful and Kendall smacked him behind the head "THAT'S what you got from that story? Did you not here the part where I was locked in a room with James?"

"Y-yes I heard… B-but guys… you've been gone all day" Logan stuttered in confusion and both James and Kendall halted and turned to each other is disbelief. "They LIED to us!" James said in pure indignation and Kendall looked equally furious.

"What did the cops say?" Logan asked "are they arrested now?" the boys shrugged "were we supposed to call the cops?"

"Well yes James, they kidnapped you and locked you in a dark room- I assumed you'd want to press charges."

"I mostly just want to sleep" James sighed massaging his temples, "good luck with that" Logan snorted "Carlos has locked himself in our room."

"Why?"

Logan shrugged "it's a mystery- so did you at least get my book?" He asked hopefully and James patted him on the head "sorry buddy- they were sold out."

"Those bastards!" Logan shook his fist "now I'll never see the stars!"

James slung his arm around Logan and Logan gave him a wane smile "well I guess it couldn't be helped… so anyway how did the kidnappers get your phones? I mean James you usually guard it with your life."

James mouth moved open and shut but no sound came out, he turned to Kendall but he was responding in a similar manner.

"You forgot about your phones didn't you?"

"HEY LOGIE" Carlos ran out and then spotted the other two band mates and grinned "hey guys how was shopping?"

He grabbed Logan roughly "I'm just going to borrow this" and he dragged Logan out of the room.

"Wait no!" James yelled, "You give that back Carlos Garcia!"

He ran into the room and was surprised to find James and Logan's beds pushed together and Logan and Carlos laid out across them. "Whatever… this is," James sighed "please don't do it on my bed."

"Oh just hush and lay down" Carlos scolded and then jumped up and pulled Kendall through the door and onto the beds with the other two.

"So I've been thinking," Carlos started and Kendall snorted, "oh this should be good."

"SHUT UP! Anyway- I wanted to say thanks Logie."

Logan sat up in surprise "for what Carlos?" Carlos grinned and kicked is feet awkwardly, "for you know- putting up with me, making me breakfast… and not being mad when I blew up those bananas."

'Blew up bananas?' Kendall mouthed to James and James shrugged.

"So" he said with a flourished and turned off the light. Logan let out a gasp and they all looked up to find millions of little glow in the dark stars covering the ceiling.

"So you can- see the stars whenever now."

Logan jumped off the bed and tackled hugged Carlos, "thank you" Logan mumbled into Carlos' shoulder. Logan could here the soft laugh "you don't have to thank me- just watch the stars with me?"

They all laid down on the bed. "So what did you guys do today?" Carlos asked the other two band mates, James and Kendall locked eyes and Kendall hesitantly replied "you know- went to the planetarium… learnt some stuff."

"What did you learn?" Logan snorted.

"That Kendall and I will fight about anything."

"That vents don't always accommodate the weight of two sixteen year old boys."

"Sounds interesting" Carlos snorted, "Logie and I made rainbow ice cream," Logan laughed, "it didn't come out some much rainbow and grey- Carlos didn't want to wait for them to set before mixing the colours."

"It still tastes delicious" Carlos promised "like a fruit smoothie."

"Hey" James laughed and pointed to the ceiling "it's so life like… you know- I think I can see Venus."

"Venus is the best planet" Logan grinned and Carlos scoffed "no way Pluto is."

"Pluto's not even a planet!"

"Yeah- well Venus is stupid!"

There was a sudden bang and Mrs Knight's voice screamed through the door. "OKAY- WHICH ONE OF YOU DID THAT TO MY CEILING?"

**Author's note:** **I just wanted to put a quick note on what I'm currently doing at the moment. So I've almost finished my story 'The Four Humours' and am going to start a new multi-chap fic (yay!) It's a sort of kinda prequel to another story of mine called Ice cream Sunday. So if you liked that story… yay.**

**Also ****I'm co-writing a story called 'moments with James Diamond' with HalfJillHalfJack and it's under her name. But I just recently wrote the third chapter so you should check that out ^_^**

**Thank you so much for reading, and please continue to review.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note: I am on prac at the moment and tired… I was supposed to write the end of four humours but I am having major writers block on this one… Anyway I hope you like this chapter. It has some OCs in the chapter (that have appeared in another story of mine called ice cream Sunday if you want more backstory.) It's a little different in format- so tell me if you like it or not.**

There was a loud banging at the door which Carlos reasoned was perfectly acceptable at... ten o'clock in the morning. God, it was a crime he should be up on a Monday answering doors after the insane weekend of 'dance boot camp' Mr X had put them through.

He could hear Katie's voice muffled through the door, so he figured it was handled. That girl could more than handle herself, no matter what was behind the door.

Not even if it was a monster, a dragon... or Bitters. He had his theories about Bitters being a monster-dragon, but nothing worth getting up for.

There was a loud knock at his door "CARLOS GET UP!" Katie yelled through the door, Carlos snuggled further under his blankets and threw his pillow at the door.

"No!" he cried defiantly.

The knocking persisted and persisted. "No really Carlos- you're gonna wanna get up" Katie told him.

Carlos glared at Kendall's bed. Why was she bothering him when there was a perfectly good Kendall to harass?

"Make her stop" Carlos demanded, but stupid Kendall didn't even answer. Carlos threw his other pillow at Kendall only to realise too late that Kendall wasn't even in the bed and he had wasted his last pillow for nothing.

The knocking ceased suddenly and Carlos heard scuffling and whispering near his door he should have known better than to ignore. He was however; known for doing stupid things, so he burrowed his head under his blankets until he heard the door slam open and someone- no two 'someones' were jumping on his bed. Squashing him- and much to his horror neither one seemed to be Katie sized.

Carlos shot up out of bed knocking the three of them over off the bed and came face to face with his sister, Teresita.

"AHHH!"

A hand slapped over his mouth and his brother twisted into view "Geez Carlos can you calm down? I can't handle your… _exuberance_ on a Monday morning." He groaned pulling himself up and then offering his hand to Teresita.

"My… exuberance?" Carlos yelled pulling himself up off the floor "you fly all the way out to California to jump on my bed and you tell me to CALM DOWN?"

Teresita grinned and threw her arms over her little brother "yep!" Carlos sighed and hugged her back "did you miss Vince and I?"

"I missed YOU" Carlos told her and then glared at his older brother, who snickered at him. "Lighten up little Carlos" Vince ruffled his hair much to Carlos' distain. "What are you even doing in bed at this time of the day?"

"I've been working all week this was my first day off- now I think the better question should be what are you two doing out in California?"

"I'M HERE TOO!" A voice called out from the kitchen "AND THAT MAKES ME THE BEST BECAUSE I DIDN'T TACKLE YOU OR ANYTHING!"

Carlos' face lit up at the sound of his father's voice.

"PAPI!"

He ran out and then stopped dead at the sight of his father sitting at the table eating pancakes. There was a note haphazardly placed on the table and Carlos eyed it suspiciously "Papi" he said slowly "are those… MY pancakes?"

"Is that anyway to greet your father?" He stood up and Carlos sighed and ran to him, hitting him with a hug so hard it knocked them both on the floor. Teresita sauntered over and picked up the note "who's Logan and why is he making you pancakes?"

Carlos hit his father "those WERE my pancakes!" Mr Garcia laughed and held up his hands "I regret nothing, those might have been the most delicious pancakes I've ever tasted… don't tell your mother."

A small arm snuck up and stole the last pancake on the plate "mmm Logan's pancakes are the best!" Katie agreed and sighed happily, Carlos shot her a betrayed look "those were MINE" he whined. Katie rolled her eyes "he makes you pancakes all the time!"

"Who's Logan?" Vince asked exiting Carlos' bedroom "and do you ever clean your room Carlos? I almost died tripping over all your crap!" Vince threw a shoe at Carlos- which he narrowly dodged. "Those are vans- clearly Kendall's!"

"What's a van?" Teresita asked Katie curiously and the younger girl held up a black shoe. "Huh" she said holding it in her hand "I was under the impression Kendall only had one pair of shoes…"

"Nah" Katie snorted "he has like forty pairs of the same shoe- he like collects them or something."

Carlos picked up the note of the table, holding it tight in his hand. He was so, so hungry. "Kaaattttiiiieee" he whined "where did Logie go? He can't possibly be at the gym, he said he wasn't going to do anything strenuous today."

"Kendall kidnapped him," Katie told him and Carlos nodded, that explained why Kendall wasn't in bed. Or anywhere really.

"HE WHAT?"

James appeared at his bedroom door, eyes wide and slightly out of breath. He looked like he just must have shot out of bed like a bullet out of a gun- he still looked implausibly handsome, Carlos noted. Maybe James was the one who was immortal… Maybe Logan WAS a vampire (which was a serious long running theory of his… not the douchey Twilight kind, the cool Dracula kind) and he BIT James and now they were BOTH vampires.

Makes sense- the first thing Carlos would do if he was a vampire would be to turn Kendall into a vampire… and maybe Katie because it wouldn't be fair to leave her out.

"James" Katie said brightly, taking in his attire (which currently consisted entirely of a pair of black boxer shorts.) "You're up" James nodded at her and then swiftly made his way over to her lifting her up by under her arms "what do you MEAN Kendall kidnapped Logan?"

"Who's Logan?" Vince asked again in a more frustrated tone "and to add to that question, who are you!"

James dropped Katie harmlessly on the ground, turning in surprise, finally noticing the other people in the room. "You must be James" Mr Garcia boomed and swept the tall boy into a hug, James flailed around momentarily.

"Hugging!" He said in a panicked voice "why is a strange man hugging me? LOGAN HELP!"

"Logan's not here stupid- Kendall took him" Carlos laughed, "Anyway this is my Papi… and two of my siblings Vince and Teresita." Mr Garcia finally relinquished James from the hug and James took in the sight of the three strangers standing in his kitchen. He should have know they were related to Carlos- they all looked Carlos-ish.

Carlos scrunched up his nose "dude" he whispered, "put a shirt on- my sister's here!" James smirked and looked down at his half naked form "this is my apartment too Carlos I can walk around like this if I want too."

"Don't worry Carlos" Teresita snickered looking at James reverently "I don't mind."

Vince grabbed James by the shoulders "okay NOW you most defiantly have to change" he marched James over to his room. "James was it?" He asked, James nodded, this morning was becoming more and more surreal "yeah James Diamond- I'm in your brother's band."

Vince nodded and then tossed James into his room slamming the door behind him and then turning to Teresita "your too young to be a cougar" he scolded her. "Oh please" she snorted, "how young can he be?"

"Oh- oh he's younger than me!" Carlos said proudly and Teresita sent him a horrified look, "now I have to go wash me brain out with bleach."

Carlos grinned happily; it was almost like being home again- there was just one thing unsettling him though, an unanswered question.

"Though seriously guys- why are you here?"

"Carlos" Mr Garcia laughed "we've been planning this trip for a month, you helped organise the plane tickets and everything."

"Did I?"

"No" James called through the door; "you made Logan do it for you."

Carlos nodded, that sounded more like him.

"Carlos" Teresita whined "hurry up and get dressed- I want you to tell me all about California!"

James burst out of his room, now fully dress down to his carefully chosen shoes and immaculate hair. "Why talk about it" he flourished "when we can show you!"

"Oh I like him" Mr Garcia beamed.

******BTR******

"So how can you be his 'younger' older brother and sister?" James asked in confusion to Teresita, who was skating beside him. "WE" Vince stressed pointing to his sister and himself "have an older brother and sister- making 'them' Carlos' older- older brother and sister."

"Making us his 'younger' older brother and sister" Teresita finished cheerfully. "Ooooooooh" James said brightly and then his face fell "no I still don't get it…"

Vince smacked his face "I'm starting to see how you and my brother could be good friends." James beamed at him and the two Garcia siblings both looked a little wobbily by the sheer 'pretty' suddenly focused in their direction. That and the sheer amount of stupidity now directed at them. That boy was lucky he was pretty.

"Logan would know" James mused, "I'm gonna call him and ask him to explain it" James rummaged through the pocket of his tight skinny jeans until he fished out his phone and held it in the air victoriously. Carlos whizzed past him on his skates and promptly stole the phone.

James was a few seconds slow on comprehending what just happened and blinked hard in surprise, staring at his empty palm in surprise.

"Dude!" he cried "my phone! What gives?" Carlos merely sniggered and wiggled his finger at James "uh, uh, uh James" he threw James' phone between his hands dangerously "Kendall wants to hang with Logan- you shouldn't bug them."

James held out his arm warily, not even brothering to be miffed with Carlos' statement. "Carlos- be careful with that, my mother gave me that phone."

Carlos just threw the phone higher between his hands, "aw- gee sorry mommas boy, why didn't you say?" Carlos' sibling snickered from each side of James and Vince raised his arm to stop James from lunging at his younger brother.

"Carlos" James' voice sounded strained "I'm serious." Carlos rolled his eyes "so am I? I mean who's afraid of an Avon lady?"

"Avon lady? Carlos my mother's not-" James cut himself off with a terrified scream as Carlos failed to catch the phone and it flung into a tree with a sickening crack.

"Ooh" Vince winced "dude, I'm sure it's okay" he patted James on the back.

The phone cracked and set itself on fire.

Vince's eyes widened and Teresita shot him a dirty look, he picked his hand off James' back and took a subtle step away from the tall grieving boy.

"Oh that's just bad luck" Teresita shook her head, and then took a similar step away from James as the tree caught of fire and hissed to her older brother "ahhhhh I think the boy is cursed!"

The two of them broke out into a fit of uncontrollable giggles that made James realise maybe Carlos was the nice, quiet boy of the family.

Carlos tried to stomp out the fire and it caught onto his pant leg.

Okay maybe nice and quiet weren't the EXACT words anyone should ever use to describe Carlos…

Mr Garcia skated up to them clearly out of breath, "man Carlos is it possible you've gotten fasterAHHHHHHHH!"

He immediately pushed Carlos to the ground "stop, drop and roll son! Stop drop and roll!"

Vince rolled his eyes "Carlos is always catching fire" he told James who was transfixed as Mr Garcia flailed about and pushing Carlos who was trying to roll towards the other fire.

"I'm okay" Carlos jumped up, seemingly unaware of the panic of all the OTHER people at Palmwoods park running around screaming about a tree being on fire.

James looked around and saw Mr Bitters starting to march towards them "uh oh" he muttered, "it is so time to bail."

Mr Garcia didn't even object- he just picked up Carlos and slung him over his shoulder "normally I'd tell you to take responsibility like a man" Mr Garcia told Carlos "but there is nothing I can do to stop you getting chucked in jail here- so it is most defiantly time to what did he say… yes… it is time to bail."

******BTR******

"Urg- I'm regretting not turning ourselves in… jail is actually looking like an attractive option" James groaned and Carlos rolled his eyes and grabbed James hand pulling him out onto the ice.

"Why are we at a ice rink anyway? How is THIS showing your family to California?"

"Nothing more Minnesotian than ice skating" Mr. Garcia said proudly, gliding past the boys with practiced precision. James scowled at the man, what was with these people and skating? Kendall had the same obsession so he wondered if there was some kind of epidemic.

Wisconsinites knew how to enjoy the cold without letting it over run his life.

"James can't you skate?" Teresita snickered skating circles around the two boys. "I can" James said disgruntledly. He honestly could- though Carlos hadn't gotten it into his head after Kendall had kicked up a big fuss that Logan couldn't skate, that James mustn't be able to either.

"Leave the kid alone" Vince called to his sister; he had chosen to opt out of the whole skating thing (an option James wished he'd been given) and was leaning against the barrier.

"Shut it Vince" Teresita called back "you're just pissy cause you hate skating."

Vince scowled, "I just don't see how ice skating is very... Californian."

"We could go surfing" James asked hopefully, he had always wanted to go surfing- and now may be the only opportunity (Logan said under no circumstances would he be surfing- no matter how much James had begged.)

Carlos gave him a hesitant look and James' gave him a wide smile "Come on Carlos! Maybe we'll find a mermaid!"

Carlos face lit up and hope welled up in James' chest- only to be quickly and brutally shot down. "No way in hell are you going surfing" Mr Garica told Carlos "not since the loch ness shark incident of 2007."

"But Paaaaaaappppppiiii" Carlos whined, "it was a reeeeeal shark- I SAVED people. I should have got a medal."

"You think I can't tell the difference between a shark and my son's best friend with a fin attached to his back?"

"If I said no would you hit me?"

"What do you think?" Mr Garcia lent over and smacked him; "AH!" Carlos rubbed his head. "I didn't ACTUALLY say it!"

Teresita rolled her eyes and skated forward and stole James' hand. "Come on James I'll teach you how to skate."

"But I DO know how-" James started when Carlos skated forward violently and grabbed James' other arm "yeah Tere- he doesn't WANT your help!"

"Hey I didn't-"

"Carlos don't be an idiot" she pulled on James arm and out of Carlos grip "of course he wants me to help- you'd probably just make him go too fast too soon and he'd crash!"

"No I wouldn't! I bet James would be a great skater" James shot back and pulled James back into his grasp. James beamed "thanks Carlos I really-"

"Like you could EVER teach anyone to skate" Teresita snickered and then gaped when Carlos yanked James away from her and into his arms. James almost collapsed into Carlos and it was a sign of how incredible on skates Carlos was that he caught him instead of falling from impact.

"YOU ALWAYS TAKE MY STUFF!"

James looked at Carlos incredulously but he was to busy yelling at his sister in Spanish.

"Ah- Mr. Garcia" James called out, his voice strained.

Mr. Garcia just laughed "sorry son- you're on your own."

******BTR******

"I can't believe you got us kicked out of the ice rink," Vince said gleefully applying ice to Carlos face. He glared at his brother- or at least he tried and winced in pain. Say what you want about Teresita (though really that was at your own peril considering her brothers) the girl had one nasty left hook.

"You're being a baby Carlos" Teresita told him cheerfully trying to bandage her hand, which had been accidentally cut up by Carlos' skate. James took the bandage at shook his head "I cant BELIEVE you got us kicked out of the ice rink" though his tone held none of the amusement Vince's had.

"And for being too violent at that- that was an ice rink they use for hockey matches!"

"What sissy hockey players must go there, if they think a SMALL fist fight is TOO violent?" Teresita snorted and Carlos nodded in agreement.

"Should you have broken that up?" James asked Mr. Garcia who merely shrugged. "They're right- it was a small fight- plus best to let the kids work out their aggression in a healthy manner."

"Carlos has a black eye!" James gestured dramatically but was met with an array of blank faces before Vince snicker and made a limp wrist motion at Carlos who also started sniggering.

"Fucking Minnesotans" James muttered angrily. He threw the bandage down in annoyance "I'm pretty sure we should be cleaning this with something... damn. I have no idea."

He glared at Carlos and stretched out his hand expectantly "give me your phone" he demanded. Carlos pulled his brick of a phone out of his pocket and clutched it tight to his chest. "What? Why?" he asked suspiciously.

Vince poked Carlos in the side and while the smaller boy was giggling and flailing, he nicked the phone fro his hand and chucked it to James. "No questions little bro- after all you did mangle his phone."

Carlos pouted, "Who are you calling anyway?" James furrowed his brow and he tried to turn the phone on, "Logan- he'll know what to do about this cut."

"And Logan is the other bandmate?" Mr. Garcia asked curiously, "right" James responded and hit the keys furiously, "he's my best friend- he's super smart and wants to be a doctor DAMN IT! Why wont you work!"

Mr. Garcia smoothly removed the phone from James "the battery has died."

"Your phone is DEAD?" James cried in horror and Carlos pretended to weep "WHY? it was so young!" Carlos eventually got a hold of himself and shrugged uselessly at James who was glaring furiously at him.

"It was on it's last bar last night- I was going to charge it this morning..."

"So neither one of us have been contactable ALL DAY?" James asked in concern, Mr. Garcia shook his head in amusement "oh you kids and your technology."

"That's big talk from someone wearing a walkie-talkie" Vince sniggered and Mr. Garcia glared "that's different Vincenzo- THAT is for work." He put his hand protectively to his hip, where sure enough, his walkie-talkie was attached.

"We're in California" Teresita pointed out and Carlos snickered. "Plus" James added "our boss is super demanding- we're on call on our days off."

Carlos rummaged through his bag "ah ha!" he cried victorious pulling out his charger "I'll just plug it in now," and then he snicker "and YOU James, can work on unbunching your panties." Carlos plugged the phone into the power point, glad that they had stopped at one of those little coffee shops that catered to people with laptops, so had both Wi-Fi AND power points.

"Unbunching isn't a word" James retorted sulkily and Teresita gave him an affectionate pat on the head.

Carlos phone lit up and James snatched it up "dude" he said in shock "you have, like thirty phone messages."

Carlos grabbed the phone and played the first message, his face fell. "We were supposed to meet Gustavo this morning- it's really important..."

"Crap."

The phone went off in Carlos' hand and everyone at the table jumped as the 'Big Time Rush' theme song played out. "Well… ANSWER it!"

"Hello" Carlos said brightly then covered the phone and hissed "it's Logan." James lunged across the table, trying to grab the phone but Carlos danced out of the way.

"Ah ha- ah ha- ah ha. Okay Logie we'll be there soon."

He slammed the phone shut "we're supposed to meet a camera crew at The Palmwoods pool."

"CAMERA CREW?"

"Yes James- and this would go a lot faster if you didn't repeat everything I say" Carlos waved a finger and him and James looked like he might commit an act of heinous murder, regardless that his victim's father was next to him. Or that is victim's father was a cop.

"You're not far- how about you boys walk and catch up with your friends, and we'll stay and get ice cream and meet up later" Mr. Garcia said brightly. James smiled "thanks Mr. Garcia" he stood up dragging Carlos with him.

"But I want ice cream" Carlos whined and James smacked him. "Come on!"

******BTR******

James was being manhandled. And not in a fun way like when that stylist had groped him during the trail period when he first came to California (she seemed to think it was unprofessional to give him her number, but had no problem making out with him in a closet with him.)

Several cameramen had forcibly lifted him onto one of the pool chairs, the man behind the camera glared at him like James had done something to offend him. "Tell me what you like about RCMCBT Global Net Sanyoid Corporation okayyyyyy and ACTION!"

"Um what's a RCMCBT Global Net Sanyoid Corporation?" James asked in confusion- the brand sounded vaguely familiar… probably not something that had quite reached Wisconsin yet.

"H-he's kidding right?" a women (the same one who had put a rushed but incredibly careful touch up to his face a second ago) asked incredulously. "Oh I never joke about not knowing things" he said a low voice and gave her a smirk.

Red crept up the women's neck "ah… it's hot out here" she complained "isn't it hot out here?" the cameraman glare intensified "maybe you're just going into early menopause Becky" he snapped.

"I'm twenty FOUR," she told him in annoyance, "yeah and this kid is sixteen, now can be PLEASE get back to the footage." He turned back to James to find him making eyes at the catering girl who was giggling like a maniac.

"Okay THAT'S IT!" he screamed "take that kid away- I'll do something with editing. I'm sure the under twelves' will all swoon" he picked James up and threw him off the set.

"But Sam… this video is only going to be watched by the founder…"

"Shut up Becky" the man snapped "and bring me the kid with the helmet- the helmet is FUN. Let's do something ZANY and FUN with the kid in the helmet."

"Sam you sound like a serial killer."

"JUST DO IT!"

"And can someone cover that black eye- no wait should we? It kind of looks cool- hey kid how did you get that black eye?"

"His sister punched him in the face" James snicker and Sam massaged his temples.

"COULD SOMEONE PLEASE COVER THAT BLACK EYE WITH SOME MAKE UP NOW?"

Sam didn't take to long to interview Carlos- muttering about how thankful he was that the 'blonde kid' had stage presence and that he had managed to save several minuets from 'that nerdy kid's' incomprehensible techno babble.

"Now get up to the apartment- we're supposed to be shooting our last scenes like… Now!"

"What's going on?" James hissed to Carlos as several crewmembers physically carried him across the lobby. "I don't know!" Carlos cried "Logan was being vague- he said something about a plan for a new apartment! A-a-a-and that he would explain everything once we got here" Carlos sobbed into the shoulder of the large man carrying him bridal style.

The man patted him awkwardly on the back "there, there kid" the man said soothingly "we're shooting a promotional video for your band to show to the founder of your bosses company."

"Why?" James asked curiously, the man shrugged "donno- I'm just a body guard… but I heard they're making cut backs on the music division which you know sucks, cause I wanted to transfer out of media and into the music division."

"Cut backs?" James shrieked, "Like they're thinking of cutting out band?" The man shrugged again "not if you do well in the video- I guess you'll have to do a good job on the music video part… are you guys any good."

"Yeah" James grinned, "You can see for yourself."

"Cool" he grinned "okay here we are" he put Carlos down gently at 2J's door, the other crew members were less gentle and threw James to the ground.

"Okay that's it! I want names! Cause if I'm not fired then everyone here is SO fired!"

"Not you" Carlos whispered to his new friend, "What's your name anyway?"

"Friends call me FT" he grinned, "look me up if you need a body guard."

"I'll remember that."

******BTR******

The Garcia family sat down on the Knight's new bright orange couch and watched the promotional video of Big Time Rush in a state of awe.

'_What's __a RCMCBT Global Net Sanyoid Corporation?'_

'_The RCMCBT Global Net Sanyoid products work hard to give you what you want… just like Big Time Rush'_

"It's amazing how smart they can make James sound in editing" Carlos whispered to Kendall who snickered loudly. "Only thanks to MY brilliant interviewing skills" he held out his fist and Carlos bumped it with his fist, a silly grin plastered to his face.

'_RCMCBT Global Net Sanyoid isn't afraid to take a risk- I like to think we have that in common.'_

'_It's all about doing what you love. What a better way to spend your time than doing something you love with people that you love?'_

"Aw you love us" Logan nudged Kendall, Kendall glared "yeah whatever" and went red. Logan and James giggled until Teresita told him to 'hush their interrupting mouths unless they wanted to be put in the ground.'

When Mr. Garcia finally turned off the TV he beamed at the boy hovering just behind the couch. "I can see why that man said he liked you- that was brilliant boys… I'm so proud of you son."

"Aw Papi" Carlos rushed over to hug his dad and the three other grinned.

"I can't believe you convinced that producer dude to let you keep all this stuff," Vince said surveying the apartment "it doesn't make Papi want to cry to think you're living here anymore."

"That was all Logan and Kendall" James said proudly, clasping Kendall's shoulder "I still don't know how you did it- but I'm glad you did."

"What I still can't believe is that Kendall actually kept that promise he made to Carlos when they were twelve that he'd get him a swirly slide." Teresita said and punched Kendall affectionately when he blushed "yeah… well now I don't have to worry about getting him a birthday present."

Carlos stared over at the swirly slide adoringly "have I mentioned that I love you today" he said dreamily and Kendall laughed "were you talking to me? Or the slide?"

"Um… no comment."

"Okay boys- I think that's it for us… we have a plane to catch" Mr. Garcia boomed, disentangling himself from his son's hug only to be bowled over in another affectionate hug.

"I'll miss you Papi" he said voice betrayed with open emotion that still shocked James after all the time they'd spent together. "And you too Tere… I guess I'll miss you too Vince…"

"Gee- THANKS little bro" Vince ruffled Carlos' hair and picked up his bag "I'll Skype you when we get home, okay?"

"Okay" Carlos sniffed and bowled the boy over for a hug.

"I don't understand that sibling dynamic at all," Logan muttered to James, James grinned and shrugged "well I guess that makes two of us."

Once Carlos has said the world's longest goodbye to his family and Mr. Garcia and two of his children on the other side of the door he turned to Vince.

"So what do you think?"

"They're good kids- Carlos… seems happier than I've seen him in a while" he said fondly "he also only set one fire yesterday" Teresita added helpfully "and it wasn't even on purpose for once!"

"Yeah" Mr. Garcia said proudly "I don't think I have to worry so much anymore- I think those boys are good for him."

"Yeah thank God for Big Time Rush" Teresita sighed and Vince snorted "I still say that sounds like a porn title." Teresita laughed "I know right?"

"Kids" Mr. Garcia scolded and then broke out into a smile "okay… maybe it does a little."

******BTR******

"Did you like seeing your family Carlos?" Kendall asked flopping down on his bed- their room hadn't gotten a make over but Kendall kind of liked it better this way. He had stuck posters over all the cracks and had started a photo collage on the ceiling to hide the water damage.

"Yeah- it was the best… I REALLY missed them…" he smiled wistfully and Kendall grinned openly at him "I know."

"Is that why you had Logan organize for them to come over?" Carlos asked curiously and Kendall sat dumbstruck for a second before laughing, "yeah- you know sometimes I forget how perceptive you can be."

"Only when it comes to you" Carlos told him in a sing song voice before sobering up "I'm not regretting coming here… I think you're the only family I couldn't bare to be apart from."

Kendall smiled and the ceiling and reached out his hand, prompting Carlos to do the same so they could brush fingers from their positions on their respective beds.

"And leaving James in the apartment? You plan that too?"

Kendall looked at the wall and bit his lip "it seems sneaky right? It's just… he just seems so sad sometimes. I don't think Logan quite gets it… probably because his home life is just as shitty. I think he enjoyed being apart of family time- and you've never been one to mind sharing your family."

"Yeah" Carlos said happily "Logan seemed happy too… you really push him to take risks. He seems to like that."

"Nah" Kendall laughed, "I think he's just happy cause Camille kissed him."

"What?"

"Oh yeah! Apparently they KNOW each other… remember that guy Camille said she was interested in, that WAS Logan she just didn't know his name."

Carlos let out a low whistle "so they just… what? Made out? That's so unfair! He doesn't even WANT a girlfriend! Why doesn't anyone want to make out with me?"

"It wasn't so much making out… she was in character or something she slapped him- you know like she slaps me sometimes. Only she kissed him afterwards- man I wouldn't mind her slapping ME so much if she'd kiss me after."

"I thought you said she was crazy" Carlos laughed, "oh she is! But you know- she's kind of hot and I'm feeling all insecure since James 'the manslut' Diamond gave us his number."

"Yeah… I'll probably be fifty before I get that many girls to kiss me" Carlos sighed and Kendall snorted "don't you need to get ONE girl to kiss you first?"

"Logan said he was working on it… hey! Didn't Logan say he wasn't over that Lenore girl? What he doing kissing another girl then?"

"She kissed him" Kendall shrugged "I don't think he wants to DATE her or anything… I guess it's the same way we feel. It's just kind of nice when someone likes you."

"Yeah…" Carlos sighed and put his hands behind his head "when we're famous I bet millions of girls will like me… then I can beat James score."

"But wont James be equally as famous?"

"Shut up dude! It was a fool proof plan!"

They sat in silence for a few comfortable minuets before…

"Kendall?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I have my pillows back?"

"No way! I'm planning on making a pillow fort."

Carlos fell silent and glared at the ceiling until…

"Kendall?"

"Yeah Carlos?"

"Can I help?"

"Of course dude! Get over here!"

**As always please review **


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: The other half of the story! Okay this was like surprisingly hard to write seriously, I thought it would be so much easier in comparison to the James and Carlos one but this one put me through a ringer. Oh and anyone who missed the Kendall/Logan interaction is about to get a boatload full!**

**Oh okay ALSO guys because I finished my other story 'the four humours' I've started a new multi-chap story called 'Breaking the ice' about when the boys met. You should totally check it out and stuff. Oh and thank you SO much for the reviews for the last chapter, they were lovely. Okay on with the story **

Kendall and Logan's morning began several hours earlier, when Kendall decided to test the boundaries of their new friendship.

"So you do sleep, Carlos will be so disappointed- did he tell you his theory about you being a vampire?"

Logan startled awake at a familiar voice piercing through the happy fog of his dreams. He opened his eyes to see Kendall crouched at the end of Logan's bed, staring at Logan intently.

"AHHHH!"

Kendall snickered watching the usually unflappable Logan freak out at the idea that Kendall had been watching him while he slept… which he totally, totally hadn't just for your information.

"Mmmmhuoges?" James sat up sleepily, his eyes were hooded and he was swaying dangerously. Logan took a few deep calming breathes before turning to James with a bright smile "it's nothing Jamie- go back to sleep" Logan's voice was smooth and soothing and James flopped back onto his pillow with a hard thud.

"nomonsttter tryeneatyoo?" He slurred his edge of concern in his voice blunted heavily with sleep. "No I promise" Logan said with a smile in his voice "mmmkay Logie." James rolled over in his sleep and Logan stared at his back in horror, 'please don't let him have noticed, please don't let him have noticed' he chanted over and over in his head like some sort of prayer.

He chanced a look at the blonde still perched on the end his bed- well not on the end anymore, at some point during his state of shook Kendall had slivered up the bed and was sitting next to him. The look of smug satisfaction on his face was so apparent there could be genuine concern that it would be stuck that way perminantly.

"He called you Logie" he grinned though he was whispering, apparently somewhat aware that it was- Logan checked the clock, five o'clock in the morning! It was their day off! Even Logan slept in on a day off!

"You must have misheard- lets get to the real problem here, **you** in my bed. At **five** in the morning." Logan hissed irritated, it seemed Logan's morning person-ness didn't translate to five o'clock in the morning on his day off- Kendall stored that away for future reference.

"No I did not! I clearly heard- wait does this mean I'd be welcome in your bed if it wasn't five o'clock? Nothing weird or anything but your bed is like twice as comfortable as mine!" Kendall was smiling at him like a man possessed and Logan felt absolutely no regrets pushing him off the side of the bed and on to the floor.

Logan spared a quick worried look at James, but was relieved to see him still sleeping- albeit muttering something about saving princess Hortensia from the evil dragon Ken. Logan was going to overlook those muttering for the moment because James tended to do stupid things when he was mostly asleep (i.e call him Logie.)

He looked over at Kendall who was lying on the floor, grinning up at Logan. "You are a giant creeping creeper," Logan informed him, "duly noted" Kendall smirked, grabbing the sheet underneath Logan and sent him toppling off the bed as well. "Okay I'm up" Logan grumbled angrily, rubbing his arm, which had taken the brunt of his unexpected fall.

"Why are you here?" Logan demanded, he jabbed Kendall in his side hard; with more venom than he usually would- but for God sakes it was 5 o'clock in the morning and he had just fallen out of bed. Somebody needed to feel his wrath.

"I can't remember" Kendall replied honestly, shrugging at him with a 'what-can-you-do?' look on his face, Logan glared "well gee soooorrrrr-e Logie! But your bed was distracting" he gave Logan 'grade A' puppy dog eyes "and I think I cracked my head on the floor when you pushed me off the bed."

Logan sat up, grabbing the side of the bed so he could stand up and extended his hand to his friend/bandmate/bandamego/acquaintance/waker-of-Logans-at-five-o'cloke-in-the-morning. Kendall stood up easily and fell back on Logan's bed trying to cocoon himself in the remaining blankets.

"Seriously why is your bed so much more comfortable than mine?" Kendall asked through a muffle of blankets. Logan tore through the blankets to find the Kendall centre and glared. "James had our beds shipped over, this one arrived the other day- don't you remember?"

Kendall tugged back at the blankets, trying to encase himself again. "Is that what that was?" He asked disinterestedly "I know James is anal about his sleep but why would James bother to ship YOUR bed over?"

"Because" Logan sighed "it was a birthday gift- he insisted actually; when he started sleeping over my house more, that I have a comfortable bed for us to sleep on."

"How often did he sleep over?" Kendall asked, relinquishing his hold on the blankets and toppled Logan over when he gave one last final tug in attempt to strip Kendall of his blankets.

"When his parents were getting divorced… he spent almost every night. Before that we always stayed at his house so it didn't matter. I had a bed I picked out from Ikea when I was ten."

Kendall had an infinite amount of questions, but resisted the urge to ask. "I think I remember why I was in your room," he told Logan with a light grin and Logan with a light grin Logan rolled his eyes. "Does it give me a sanity keeping reason why you were staring at me in my sleep?"

"Oh that… I wanted to see if I could wake you up with the power of my mind" Kendall made an odd gesture with his hands he must of thought meant 'psychic' but reminded Logan of the gesture James made that meant 'look-at-me-I'm-so-very-pretty.'

Kendall must be very confused when he's around James. Or at least think James is some kind of horrible psychic… maybe that's why they didn't get along…

"James isn't a psychic" Logan blurted out- better safe than sorry right? "He's just very pretty."

Kendall cocked his head "you were doing that thing where half of the conversation was in your head."

Logan flushed and Kendall grinned, "don't worry- one day we will be totally in sync and you won't NEED to explain stuff." Kendall promised, he then gave Logan an assessing look "you're going to have to explain stuff to me now…"

"Never mind" Logan muttered and pulled on Kendall's wrist "let's just get out of here before James wakes up." Kendall grinned like and idiot and Logan pushed him out the door, watching him carefully shut the door trying to ensure the least amount of noise made possible. Something, Kendall noticed with a little annoyance, he hadn't been trying to do when he so rudely pushed him off the bed.

"So why are we here?" Logan demanded, Kendall snickered at him "whoa deja vu- freaky." Logan glared at him and pointed a finger close to Kendall's face "no more hanging out with Guitar dude- it's seriously messing with your vocabulary."

"Awwww" Kendall whined, "but he's my best friend! You can't tell me who to hang out with Logie!"

Logan raised an eyebrow "your best friend eh?" Kendall nodded in an over exaggerated manner and Logan smirked "okay." He said easily watching as Kendall's trademark smirk bloomed across his face "what's his first name- seeing as he's your best friend and everything."

Watching that smug smirk fall off his face was becoming an incredibly fun game Logan liked to play. Build em' them up and knocking em' down. Like a pre-schooler playing with blocks.

"okkkkaaay so maybe not my BEST friend" Kendall smiled ruefully and then nudged Logan in the ribs "your just pissed I didn't say you were my best friend."

"I already have a best friend," Logan told him starchily; and then regretted it. He could already see Kendall gearing up to say something about James.

"Yeah what's up with that?"

Okay… that was different. "What's up with what?" Logan asked curiously, "you know" Kendall insistently "why are you guys best friends- I mean I get why me and Carlos-"

"Carlos and I" Logan corrected, and then winced, James always gave him hell for that and he can just imagine Kendall's internal reaction. Kendall just points at him like he's proven a point "okay see that's my point, Carlos and I have shit in common- we're both daredevils with no shoulder angels."

"Shoulder angels?" Logan asked curiously, "you know that little voice in your head- okay truth is **I** have one, but I just ignore it." Kendall confided in him, Logan chuckled "Kendall your not REALLY supposed to hear a voice even if you ignore it- that's called schizophrenia."

"Yeah? Well laugh it up DOCTOR Mitchell because that killjoy voice I ignore- it's sounding more and more like you every day!"

Logan sighed, "your point was?" Kendall sprang back into animation, momentary annoyance forgotten. "So Carlos and I, we're similar yeah?" Logan rolled his eyes "I guess- I mean Carlos is nicer and isn't insane like you are but I guess if we're going for broad statements then yes. You two share some similar characteristics."

"See! Now you and James- what the hell do you have in common? You've known each other since you were kids, right? I bet he's gone through like six wardrobes in his life, he's rich so he uses things and throws them away."

Logan's eyes furrow "seven" he corrects softly and Kendall points at him. "Yeah okay, seven that just proves my point."

"And what is your point Kendall?"

"How did you two manage to stick together?"

Logan sighs and putters over to the kitchen; he desperately needed coffee if Kendall woke him up at 5 o'clock in the morning to have a deep philosophical conversation.

"James is my brother… you don't just… get rid of a brother because you don't have a lot in common- you work around it." Logan is stumbling over his words now, even with coffee Logan doesn't think he could actually express the magnitude of feeling he has for James.

"But… he's not your brother."

"Look" he turns to face Kendall, not seeming to realise he'd sloshed coffee everywhere "you know how you feel about Katie and your mum?" Kendall nods, trying to ignore the way coffee is soaking into the bottom of Logan's pyjama bottoms and focuses on the topic.

"Well that's always been the feeling between me and James- we were never best friends… we've always been family."

Kendall grins and slings an arm around him, manfully ignoring that the coffee starts eating into his clothes when they touch. "You know- a two person family is kind of pitiful" he grins brightly at Logan "have you ever considered gaining an extended family?"

"Is that why we're standing in the middle of the kitchen covered in coffee?"

"Ah so you did notice the coffee" Kendall smirked, "yes it seems our conversation has taken that turn- however" he rounds of Logan "the real reason I needed to talk to you is about the band."

"What about the band?" Logan asked suspiciously, he's senses were heightened around Kendall- and Logan smelled plan.

"Just wait and see!"

******BTR******

Logan ends up leaving James, he felt bad enough that he had to shake the boy awake on a regular basis. He may as well let his friend sleep in when he could.

"Come on Logie" Kendall complained and pulled the boy out of the apartment as his companion was still trying to right his shirt. "Calm down Kendall" he told the boy sternly who had gotten tired of the pretense of dragging him and had picked him up and thrown him over his shoulder.

"I'm not luggage" Logan yelped as Kendall took off at a run to the elevator. "Don't be silly" Kendall laughed and patted Logan's leg affectionately "I would NEVER carry my luggage this way."

Kendall set the boy down as the doors of the elevator closed in his face. Kendall had a hand on the flat of his back which could be viewed as friendly, but seemed to be there so he could grab the back of Logan's shirt should he try to make a dash for freedom.

"I'm not going to run Kendall" Logan rolled his eyes and moved out of Kendall's grip (but not grasp since they WERE still in an elevator.)

"I just... look" Kendall went a little red "no offence but Carlos' family are coming over- and I don't want you there when that happens."

Logan's face fell "y-you don't want me to meet Carlos' family? D-do you think they w-won't LIKE me?"

"What? No, don't be ridiculous" Kendall scoffed "they'd LOVE you." Logan cocked his head and Kendall gave him a shifty look "it's not about you- it's James" he finally admitted. "I just think it'd be better- for James that is, if he spent the day with Carlos and his family without us."

Logan's face lit up "why didn't you say?" he linked his arm with Kendall's "so what are we doing?" Kendall gave him a soft smile and patted the back of his head "you're not really as complicated as I thought."

"Things rarely are" Logan told him safely as the doors opened and they walked out into the lobby. "So where are we-" Logan started but was cut off by a hand appearing out of nowhere to slap him in the face. He reeled back and stared at the girl the hand was attached to.

Logan had only seen the girl out of the corner of his eye as he came and went from the Palmwoods, he only remembered because she was always wearing some kind of fanciful and elaborate costume. Some kind of actor, most likely.

"Get a hold of yourself," she commanded Logan who shrunk back. "This is no time to be getting hysterical not when our lives... and the WORLD is at stake."

"Um I don't think **I'M** being hysterical" Logan tells her but gives her a grin anyway. James had mentioned an eccentric method actress living at the Palm woods slapping people. He had been beginning to feel left out when he found out he had been the only person in the band NOT to be slapped.

"Caammmile" Kendall whined and dodged a hand that never came. Camille hadn't even tried to hit him like she usually did- instead choosing to watch Logan intently. Kendall grabbed Logan's arm "we don't have time- Logan and I are in the middle of Operation Delta."

"Operation Delta?" Logan raised his eyebrow and Kendall huffed "What? You got to name the other one- and this one's shorter!"

Logan snicker "Don't worry Ken-doll I wasn't going to suggest we change it. I just wanted to know what operation Delta was."

"Wait" Camille interrupted "YOU'RE 'the' Logan they've been talking about- as in member of big time rush… James' best friend Logan?"

"Have you been talking about me behind my back" Logan mock scolded Kendall who raised his hands in defense. "Of course I talk about you behind your back, but if this disturbs you, I can text you every time I begin talking about you when you are not in hearing range."

"I- um I didn't know your name" she blushed "but I see you all the time- so I kind of made up a name for you in my head."

Both boys raised their eyebrows and she waved them off "not important." A small indefinable smile crossed Camille's face and she grabbed Logan's hand and pulled him in close. "Hi" she bit her lip and look up at him under her eyelashes "I'm Camille."

"The bomb will detonate any second" she suddenly snapped back into character she must have been playing before she had stopped to chat.

"But I'm glad to share these last few moments with you."

She gripped his neck tightly and Logan's hand flexed, not quite sure whether it was okay to put his hands on her hip. It was an unnecessary concern as Camille leaned up and sealed their lips together.

Kendall watched in amusement as Logan's hands waved around uselessly, as though he wasn't sure of the correct etiquette in pushing a crazy method actress off him after she attacked him with her lips.

Camille let go of him and gave him a very self-satisfied smirk "oh yeah I am so going to nail that love-struck spy audition." and turned on her heel and sauntered off.

"D-does she always do that?" Logan stuttered after a couple of seconds of Logan stared blankly after the girl. Kendall grined at his flabbergasted friend- not ready to move on his ass. He SO needed to set them up (it might be enough to ensure Logan thought of him as at LEAST his second best friend.)

"Of course not" Kendall said cheerfully and nudged Logan to keep moving out to the front of the Palmwoods, "sometimes she dresses up like a princess."

"So she's not always a spy" Logan asked with a hint of disappointment "well… I hope she gets the role" and he sped up so Kendall had to hurry behind him.

Kendall had to control his chuckling so he could yell after Logan, "you don't even know where we're going!"

******BTR******

"Kendall" Logan said unimpressed crossing his arms "we're at Rocque records."

"Such a judgmental tone Logie," Kendall wrapped an arm around him from preventing the older boy from walking away. "Why I bet two months ago you would have been ecstatic to be in such a location" Kendall emphasized his point with flamboyant hand gestures (the same ones he tended to use whenever trying to convince Logan of something.)

"Two months ago I didn't get yelled at everyday in Rocque records- it has sort of lost some of it's mystic since then."

"Fair enough" Kendall shrugged, pushing them forwards "so WHY are we here?"

"Operation Delta" Kendall told him in extended syllables and a put upon voice that implied Logan should already understand what he was planning. "Yes- but you haven't explained 'Operation Delta' to me- you just waved me off and laughed when I asked on the bus." Logan told him in frustration and then muttered, "You cackled actually- it was fairly disturbing."

Kendall shot him a look "ANYWAY Operation Delta is classified and I can not disclose that information to you." Logan seriously considered banging his head against the nearest hard surface (probably Kendall's head- the boy was a hard head after all) "How?" he asked in the most exasperated tone he could manage "how am I supposed to 'assist' you in this harebrained scheme if I don't even know what the plan is?"

"Just use that big brain of yours Logie" he pushed Logan forward and threw the doors open "and wing it."

Behind the doors (now clearly shown to lead into Gustavo's office) Gustavo was sitting at what should be behind his desk. Griffin's flunkies had turned the desk around so it appeared like it was Griffin's office (which would just be a bad use of space, everyone knows you never face the desk away from the door.)

"Ah boys" Griffin boomed and Logan would have retreated but Kendall's arm shot up and held him into place (turns out Kendall hadn't been wrong about Logan trying to run away some time during this little excursion.)

"Just the gentlemen I was talking about."

Griffin's assistants popped up next to the two boys and grabbed an arm each. Griffin gave them a predatory smile "won't you take a seat?" he asked, not that there was any real choice in the matter as his assistants pulled them to sit into two of the four empty seats available beside Gustavo.

"Aw your funny little friends aren't here," Griffin said as though if he were capable he would be pouting.

"It's they're day off" Kelly told him clutching her clipboard to her chest; she had been hovering behind Gustavo and didn't dare sit in the two seats left available. Griffin let out a booming laugh "don't be ridiculous, I didn't authorise any time off!"

"I don't have to run it by you if I give the dogs the day off" Gustavo barked, though the truth was KELLY was the one to give the boys the day off- but he didn't actually want her to be fired (who would organise his day or tell his mum he was too busy teaching the boys to synchronise dance when she called?)

"Of course you do" Griffin told him arrogantly, "for your impertinence there will be no more days off for the next month."

"What?" Logan squeaked before his brain could catch up with his mouth "you can't run a company like a dictatorship!"

"Can't I?" Griffin raised a steely grey eyebrow at the boy and he shrunk back "I like your guts kid- that's why I'm going to disregard your flagrant disrespect until I need to use it against you."

"That's not ignoring it at all then" Kendall pointed out, narrowly avoiding Gustavo who had tried to elbow him into silence.

"How very perceptive of you Mr Knight" the man gave him a shark grin, "I like your band Gustavo- they have… presence. I'd watch out for that- too much presence could lead to them inevitably having none."

Griffin's demeanour snapped out of intimidating and into enthusiastic in a similar manner Camille had after she had kissed Logan. "Bring in the Architect" he clapped his hands and his female assistant jumped to attention and opened the door.

"Architect" he said pleasantly to the startled red headed women who had been standing behind the door, "I'm not actually an Architect Mr Griffin, my name is-"

Griffin laughed and waved her off "like it matters."

"Right um- so I have the plans" she set up her easel and Kendall muttered to Logan "what is UP with old people and easels? It's like that marketing team who hadn't heard of PowerPoint" Logan shrugged "donno- I'm kinda disorientated being on this side of the desk." Kendall nodded vigorously and leaned in like a gossipy old lady "I know right?"

She set up an impressive design of what Kendall would describe as his dream house- or at least the interior for his dream living room.

"I call it the ultimate teen crib" she sent the boys a smirk as they gaped at the design, she leans over and closes Kendall's mouth, whispering to him "and THAT'S why I use the easel- it's called dramatic effect."

"It has amazing home electronics, arcade games and-"

"Swirly slide" Kendall muttered reverently and grabbed hold of Logan's sleeve "Carlos would love me forever if I got him a swirly slide." Logan snickered and gently tugged his sleeve out of Kendall's grasp "doesn't he already love you forever?"

"Not like how he'd love me if I got him a swirly slide" Kendall told him seriously and Logan burst into a fresh snicker "oh Kendall- I hadn't realised you wanted to take your relationship with Carlos to the next level."

Kelly pulled Logan's chair (and Logan) swiftly out of Kendall's reach to prevent another 'dog fight' as Gustavo was so fond of calling them- Kendall and Logan had never been in a physical altercation before but Kelly didn't want to chance it.

"I don't know what all of this is" Gustavo waved vaguely at the easel in disgust "but I was trying to compose a BRILLANT new song- and this is killing my creative juices."

"Well bottle your juices Gustavo," Griffin commanded and then turned to his assistant "oh write that down as a possible marketing venturing- bottling Gustavo's creative juices." Gustavo let out a yelp and clutch at himself as his female assistant diligently wrote in a notebook.

"That sounds like it could be illegal sir" his other assistant told him in a warning tone and Griffin let out a short laugh "not if I say it's not."

"It might be the only way for you to continue making money Gustavo" Griffin told him sternly "our ancient founder Fujisaki is thinking about cutting our music division."

Cue dramatic music.

"Is that really necessary?" Gustavo roared at Griffin's third assistant who was holding up a boom box (actually that seemed to be the only thing that particular assistant did.)

"I realise you're upset Gustavo but there is no need to take it out on my mood music technician." Griffin told him sternly "there is a place in the budget for a mood music technician but not a 'music' division?" Kelly asked incredulously.

"No actually- the mood music division is a sub-division of the music division" Griffin explained "now you see why I'm so concerned- why without Heraldo here how will you know when to be terrified of me?"

"I'm sure we'd work it out" Kendall muttered "but we're never going to have to find out" Griffin said sternly "thanks to your boys- of at least the 2/4s that managed to show up." He gestured widely at the plans that the red headed women had set up on the easel.

"Wait- so we get to live in there" Kendall said in a wave of excitement "yes for two hours" Griffin smiled at him viciously "while you shoot a promotional video surrounded by RBC Global Net Sanyod products. And you should do interviews with the boys; why do the boys like to sing, why has nobody duct taped that boy to a chair and plucked his eyebrows- you know things of that nature."

Kendall covered his eyebrows with his hair and Logan patted his back while trying to suppress a smirk.

"And do it by water- Fujisaki seems to think water is lucky... Isn't that weird?"

"They shoot promotional stuff at the Palmwoods pool all the time" Kendall told him helpfully, "Carlos and I almost ran into a dog food commercial last night."

"Excellent" Griffin praised Kendall "And I have scheduled a conference in Japan for tomorrow so this all needs to be finished by the end of the day."

"WHAT?"

******BTR******

"I can't believe you talked me into this" Logan moaned and pulled the tree hat off viciously and tried to rub the eye black off his face. Kendall caught his wrist "don't" he warned, "it sets the tone."

Logan sent a fierce glare in his direction and Kendall crossed his arms and pouted. "I thought you'd be happy" he whined "Operation Delta was poorly thought out- you said so yourself."

"Operation Delta was to wing it" Logan hissed and hit his head on the side of the elevator; he wished he'd kept the tree hat on his head because, man! that had hurt like a bitch! He now understood why Carlos wore a helmet all the time. He was seriously thinking about investing in one for himself.

"I'll have you know that Operation Delta has worked on multiple occasion- but now we have a REAL plan now. And it's working!"

"All you've done is set us up for failure!" Logan spazzed at him "oh Logie," Kendall tutted "so afraid, so scared of life-"

"And so hot."

Logan let out a little yelp and Kendall fumbled with his phone "opps- almost forgot you were on the phone there Camille." he laughed sheepishly and Logan frowned disapprovingly and Kendall put his hand up so he wouldn't have to look at that disapproving face. He did however put her on speaker phone- because whether Logan wanted it or not, he was apart of the plan.

"Is Kelly still distracted" Kendall asked Camille "she's getting suspicious- but it's far to late for her to do anything now." She told him confidently and then her voice faltered, "this isn't like going to get her fired right? Or you guys fired? Because I'm not sure getting them to set up the ultimate teen crib in your apartment is worth it if you have to move back to Minnesota."

"I'm from Wisconsin" Logan said faintly, he could almost hear Camille's smile "and I'M from Cunieticut- see how much we ALREADY know about each other Logie-bear."

A deranged smiled crossed Kendall's face and Logan glared at Kendall "You" he pointed violently at him "are NOT aloud to call me that!"

"You let Camille call you that" Kendall whined, "You love her more than meeeeee."

"Currently? Yes." Logan replied hotly and then winced as Camille squealed through the phone " in a- a platonic friend way" he stumbled "we're friends- I'm um… friend zoning you" he told her franticly. "I'll have to talk with the counselor about new zoning permits" she practically purred over the phone, and Logan went white as if she had said it while standing next to him instead of being across town.

"Is everything progressing on your end?" she asked after Logan failed to respond to her "is the cranky cameraman still trying to kill you with the power of his mind?"

"Unfortunately yes- but I literally CAN NOT stall the interviews anymore. And yes, okay- we DO have the teen crib almost finished set up and the interviews have been all but finished being shot at the pool." Logan listed in an eerily calm voice "but it seems like we're forgetting something hmm let me think about it oh, I know- OUR BAND MATES!"

"I'll call you back," Kendall whispered to Camille, "when Logan's head stops spinning" Camille tittered in response and wished Logan good luck.

"Logan" Kendall cooed, "You need to close your eyes." Logan glared at him "why would I-"

Kendall shushed him "we are waiting for the universe to sort everything out for us."

"So we're back to Operation Delta are we?" Logan asked sarcastically and Kendall arched an eyebrow "it more effective than you'd think."

They stood in silence for a second.

"Kendall this isn't going to-"

Kendall placed his hand over Logan's mouth "do NOT disrespect the universe Logie- or how do you expect the universe to respect you" he told him in an almost sage manner. Logan pulled Kendall's hand off his mouth and opened his mouth to retort when his phone began to ring.

The ID read: Carlos Garcia.

"Not a word" Logan warned Kendall and went to answer the phone. Though not before muttering "fucking universe."

******BTR******

"Thanks for helping us Katie" Logan said gratefully and a stylist accosted him, trying to fix his 'dance' boy band outfit.

"You needed a little Knight magic" she shrugged giving him a smirk "Kendall looked a little busy" she nodded her head to where Kendall was struggling in the grip of two stylists, trying to insist that 'yes beanies WERE the height of fashion in like Japan right now' so it was perfectly okay for him to wear his lucky beanie in the video.

"I'll make sure you get first ride on the swirly slide" he winked at her and she coloured a little. They would have been lost if she hadn't taken care of organising the Jennifers and keeping Bitters away as they destroyed part of the hotel suit. He was sure they had violated oh probably ALL of the leases arrangements about apartment alteration.

"Don't worry about it Logan- I'm sure I'll think of some way you can repay me" she smiled at him- 'like becoming my future trophy husband' she thought happily, after all she had locked Bitters in a closet for him. And nothing said marriage proposal like committing assault and kidnapping for someone.

He glance over and waited until Kendall had his back turned to kiss Katie on the forehead "I promise James and I will take you to get ice cream soon okay?"

TWO trophy husbands? She hadn't considered it… but it was a tempting idea…

"Okay" she beamed at him and skipped off to where the camera crew was so she could watch them dance.

The door flew opened and Carlos and James walked in followed by an entourage of people from the interviews at the pool.

"Get the lights fixed- they can't dance in the dark" someone called out anxiously.

"They're not dressed" a stylist called out franticly "they're fine" Gustavo insisted angrily (he was beyond furious with every last one of those retched dogs for their stunts and just wanted this day to be OVER.)

"We don't know the dance moves" James called out waving his hands around like a lunatic, "yes you do" Logan called back "They're the same ones we learnt for 'Big Time Rush' on three day boot camp."

Kendall walked over to Logan, and James and Carlos were deposited close by.

"Okay" Gustavo said calmly and took the cup of coffee and very haggard (and annoyed) Kelly offered him. "Just so you dogs know you are not- AND I MEAN NOT keeping your apartment this way!"

The boys' faces fell.

"OKAY ACTION!"

None of the boys moved.

"I SAID ACTION!"

Logan visibly drooped and Kendall leaned his head pathetically on the smaller boys shoulder.

"ACTION ACTION I SAY! OH FOR GOD'S SAKE- look okay, OKAY I'll CONSIDER you keeping it but please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD dance! ANNNNNNNNND ACTION!"

The boys sprung to life. And proceeded to dance. Big time.

******BTR******

"I'm so confused" James complained and Logan nodded "that's what I felt like this whole day" he stabbed his pork chop a little more viciously than intended. He hadn't planned to get that worked up about recounting his day but Kendall's plans genuinely infuriated him in a way that he couldn't quite comprehend.

"I supposed it all work out" James sighed, "why did you let him rope you into spending the day with him in the first place?" he leaned back on their brand new orange couch. He may not quite understand what happened to make the apartment like this (and since all he was getting from Logan was angry amblings he'd doubt he'd ever know for sure) but he was content.

2J actually felt like home now.

Not that his mother would ever let any part of THEIR house have an orange couch or a swirly slide.

"You made friends today though?" James asked hopefully, if Logan had friends outside of the band, maybe he'd stick around 2J more…

"Well the Jennifers helped… they distracted Bitters and dealt with the crew- though Katie was the one who coordinated them" Logan said hesitantly, he didn't want to tell James about Camille lest he suddenly grow interested in her and kiss her like he had for the three girls he had a crush on before he had dated Lenore.

Not that he liked Camille or anything… it was nice someone liked HIM though…

"Um- Kendall got Guitar dude to run interference so I could keep sneaking away from the worlds LONGEST interview."

"Oh was THAT why the cameraman was having a mental break down?" James laughed and Logan's eyebrows furrowed "really? Okay now I feel bad…"

"Don't" James assured "he seemed like a total tool- didn't want me to flirt with any of the hot assistant or anything!"

"They're editing it now…" Logan bit his lip "Gustavo said they would bring us a copy later tonight… maybe Carlos' family can see it before they have to leave."

James whistled "they'll have it edited by tonight? Really?"

"A rough copy- the one they're showing Gustavo so he doesn't have a conniption… I assume some poor editor will be up half the night fixing things."

"Poor editing person" James sighed and then grinned "well at least Mr Garcia, Teresita and Vince will be able to see us singing as a group before they leave!"

"Yes- how was your day with the Garcia family?" Logan asked wistfully and James face broke out into a beautiful smile "oh Loges- they were wonderful, like a family out of a sitcom."

"Not Roseanne?" Logan teased but James smile didn't falter one bit "DEFINANTLY not!"

"That's nice" Logan smiled softly and James put his plate down so Logan could sit down on the couch with him. Logan snuggled up to James and James wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"You should have stayed," he told him quietly "you would have had fun." Logan picked up James discarded plate and stuffed a fork full of peas into his mouth "Ihadfun" he muffled and hoped James couldn't understand.

"I know" James sighed and patted Logan's head "it's okay for you to be friends with Kendall- I promise I wont get mad anymore… mostly."

Logan beamed at his friend "look at you- growing up and stuff" and James laughed. "Yeah well I was thinking today- Carlos was with his bother and sister and they looked like they missed him SO much and I was thinking man- that could have been me. No, that SHOULD have been me. You should be back in Wisconsin studying and probably getting back together with Lenore and forgetting all about me… but you're not."

He wrapped his arms around Logan and tried to convey all his feelings in a simple action.

"Is it selfish that I never want to loose you."

"Not at all" Logan laughed and tried to awkwardly pat James' arm "or if it is- I'm just as selfish. I don't ever want to loose you either."

There was a sharp knock on the door and James calls "It's open" before he even thought about it.

The Garcia's walk in and Vince lets out a low whistle taking in the interor "wow- you guys were BUSY while we were gone."

Teresita spotted the two boys on the couch as they spring apart on the couch and giggled. "Wow- you must be Logan."

He blushed and stood around to meet her, shaking her hand "yes- I'm um Logan Mitchell and you must be Teresita Garcia, Carlos spoke very highly of you." She smiled pleasantly and introduced himself to Vince in a similar manner and received a hearty slap on the back.

He turned to Mr Garcia and was shocked when the man swept him up in a hug "So you're the boy that makes the delicious pancakes and watches out for my boy" Mr Garcia boomed.

Logan seemed momentarily shocked "um James?" He called out in distress but James just laughed and Logan sunk awkwardly into the hug, "yeah- they just DO that! For like NO apparent reason! Isn't it great."

Kendall and Carlos came out of their room at the sound of Logan's yelp.

"Mr Garcia?" Kendall said hesitantly and Mr Garcia put Logan down and strode over to slap Kendall on the back in a friendly manner, which seemed to surprise Kendall.

"Kendall" he said enthusiastically "I've heard you've flourished under the California sun- NO misdemeanors since moving here! I might actually be proud of you."

Kendall looked like he had just been told his cat had died (if Kendall had a cat or indeed even liked cats) "n-no that can't be right," he muttered to himself.

"It's true dude," Vince crooned in delight "looks like you're loosing your edge."

"B-but today I conned my employer out of a cool teen crib valued for a boat load," he protested and Vince surveyed the room and whistled again. "Is THAT where you got all this stuff?" Mr Garcia shook his head "maybe I spoke to soon…"

"We didn't break the law" Logan cut in quickly, trying to 'save' Kendall's reputation "it was more like a present for doing a good job in the end- so we didn't even do anything wrong."

Kendall turned to him in horror realising he was right and pointed an accusatory finger at the shorted boy "you've made me soft!"

He stormed off to the bathroom, "Kendall" Logan called after him "where are you going?"

"To drown myself" he called back dramatically and Logan gave a very put upon sigh following after him "I'll just make sure that doesn't happen then I guess" and James rolled his eyes.

"Drama queen."

**Please review **


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: To my most favouritist beta (HalfJillHalfJack)- you are my favouritest. Okay this chapter took a lot more of my brain power than I expected, but here is a little more Kendall and Carlo antics. Thank you for all the glorious ****Reviews (how cool is it that I now have eighty! a hundred reviews is totally within my grasp- I will totally give that reviewer I prize BTW) and thanks especially Rhett9 for the suggestions when I was stuck on this chapter. Oh unlucky chapter 13, you were my problem chapter… but I think you turned out alright**

Kendall Knight was anything but soft. He had just been busy- that's all...

Being the leader of a vocal group (okay maybe another word for it MIGHT be a boy band) was hard work. He just didn't have the free time to plan intricate masterpieces anymore. The only schemes worth mentioning were co-schemed by Logan and therefore did not count. He didn't NEED Logan to help with something he had been doing since early childhood.

Being a menace to society was practically his job description.

So with that in mind he waylaid Carlos on his way back from the bathroom.

"Kendall" Carlos hissed in surprised (but didn't carry on like Logan had when he had dragged HIM out of the apartment- it must have to do with… what had Logan called it? Conditioning.) "What is it Carlos?" Kendall asked innocently and Carlos stopped flailing around to give him an incredulous look.

"Kendall" he repeated stressing each syllable of his name until it sounded almost unrecognisable. "We're supposed to be rehearsing 'the city is ours' today REMEMBER?"

"What's the point" Kendall rolled his eyes "Griffin keeps 'popping' in and wanting us to change something- remember the other day? He tried to convince Gustavo that we needed to add more disco" Carlos cringed at the memory, Griffin was a severely unhinged individual but he was the boss. At least that's what Gustavo said anyway.

"Is this because you're still upset because Griffin made you bleach your eyebrows that one time?" Carlos snickered, Kendall dropped Carlos and covered his eyebrows while glaring at Carlos "you promised to never speak of that again!"

Carlos just continued to snicker at Kendall "I don't see why you're so upset- Logan dyed them back the right colour… okay maybe he dyed them a lighter colour but it suits your face."

"That's speaking of it!" Kendall screeched and pulled Carlos up so they were nose-to-nose "look at what being in a boy band has done to us Carlos" he cried dramatically.

"Given us better eyebrows?" Carlos asked in confusion but the quirk of a smile on his lip betrayed him and Kendall flung him into the wall "NO! Look- our reps are at stake!"

"Or reps?" Carlos repeated like it was a foreign word and he slipped into genuine confusion "REPUTATION" Kendall rolled his eyes, punctuating each syllable with a sharp poke to Carlos' chest. "Ohhhh" Carlos responded but he still looked confused "wait- how is being in a boy band hurting my reputation… nobody in California knew me before I was in a boy band and no one besides my family knows I'm in a boy band back home..."

"We used to be badasses" Kendall whined in a decidedly non-badass manner and stamped his foot in frustration (an uncanny replica of Katie's tantrum when Kendall and Carlos used her law and order DVDs for ultimate Frisbee.)

"Were we?" Carlos asked "I always thought of myself more as a loveable rouge- though I don't mind being thought of as a lovable goofball" he grinned. "Jennifer said I'm like a puppy- and girls love puppies… at least that's what James says!"

"Pshh James" Kendall said crossly "you aren't seriously taking his advice about girls are you?"

"Why not?" Carlos shrugged "he seems to have it pretty sorted- I think he had a girl in his room yesterday… his room smelled like flowers and fruit." Carlos let a goofy look across his face and Kendall smacked him "stop imagining a girl that DOES NOT EXISIT- you know James is the one who smells like flowers."

"Yeah- well explain the fruit?" Carlos asked crossly folding his arms in a challenging manner. Kendall just shrugged at him "I think Logan made a pie yesterday…"

"AND HE DIDN'T SHARE?" Carlos cried out in horror and Kendall patted Carlos on the shoulder "there, there; I think he and James had a little disagreement where Logan was blunt and mean- you know how he can be." Kendall rolled his eyes and Carlos nodded "you know he's says sorry with food."

"Why doesn't he never say sorry to ME with food" Carlos whined and Kendall just raised his eyebrows at the boy (before he remembered their current state and careful rearranged his hair to cover them.) "Maybe because you and Logan sort out all your arguments with those stupid little slap fights you have."

"They're not stupid" Carlos defended quickly "have you ever been hit by someone's fingertips? It hurts like a bitch!" He snapped out his hand lightning fast- putting full force behind the slap and restrained his hand so he only hit Kendall with his fingertips.

"AH! SON OF A-"

"Exactly" Carlos said smugly and then ducked out of the way as Kendall tried to hit him- instead his fist collided rather nastily with the wall. "AH" he cried with much more feeling "SON OF A-"

"Kendall" Carlos scolded and covered his mouth "the Palmwoods is a FAMILY hotel- such language is not permitted."

Kendall slapped his hand away "you're right" he gritted through his teeth with an expression on his face that Carlos knew meant he should be backing up- unfortunately his back was already up against the wall. "The American public is not responsive to crude language and overly complicated sniping" he punched the wall next to Carlos' face and the boy shrunk away from his fist but Kendall grabbed his shirt.

"But gratuitous violence on the other hand" he pulled Carlos up so he was straining, standing on his toes "is simply the American way."

James walked out of the apartment and stopped short at the sight in front of him. "Kendall" he sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose "we have to get to class- stop giving Carlos a noggie."

The boys looked up guiltily and Kendall let go of Carlos' head reluctantly, "he started it!" James squinted at them and shook his head in exasperation, "where is your stuff? If you don't get a move on we're going to be late."

"Who cares" Carlos threw up his hands "Logan's stupid gymnastics coach got him a pass for the day so some other coach could see him do gymnastic-y things… why should WE have to go to school."

"BECAUSE" James said like it was an actual answer, the Minnesotan boy stared him down, a non-verbal challenge of his authority. "Okay" he coloured and let out an annoyed sigh "I promised I would write notes for Logan… and I wouldn't let you guys skip…"

"That manipulative bastard" Kendall hit the wall (now severely dented thanks to all the times Kendall had hit that particular spot.) "How DARE he make us learn when he's not even there to see it!"

A look crossed his face and Carlos moved to hide behind James (this move wasn't very successful on the whole since James had also caught Kendall's expression and was trying to hide behind Carlos. So they were more or less playing an inefficient game of ring-around-the-rosie.)

"In fact why should Logan get to be all gymnastic-y at all when WE have to study" Kendall paced and James picked Carlos clean up off his feet and used him how one might use a human shield.

"Carlos" Kendall barked, "I think you and I have some unfinished business with Logan's gym." Carlos' eyes lit up with realisation "b-but I thought we weren't going to mess with Logan's gymnastics- you called it a moral grey area."

"That was before he tried to make us learn things" Kendall said gravely "now it's all fair game."

"It doesn't SOUND fair game."

"It's- wait James cover your ears" Kendall said and James put Carlos down and gave him a suspicious look. "Yeeeeaah, Wwwwwwwhy?" He asked stepping out from behind Carlos and Kendall rolled his eyes "you said you wanted no part of any plans to ruin gymnastics for Logan."

James nodded and covered his ears whiled he muttered about plausible deniability.

"Anyway Carlos I'm gonna need your help" Kendall told Carlos loudly as James was quietly singing to himself, in an attempt to block him out. "I don't know Kendall- maybe you were right to drop it… it is kind of a moral grey area."

"I was going to make you ninja stars as part of the plan" Kendall batted his eyelashes at Carlos and Carlos' resolve buckled. Damn, he really needed a new set of ninja stars since the last set Kendall made him got stuck in that cow…

"Okay I'm in."

******BTR******

"MITCHELL" a voice boomed cross the gym and Logan could only thank all the conditioning of Natasha and Gustavo that he finished his backflip without faltering. Being yelled at USED to make his flinch now he was just used to it…

"Yes coach?" he asked looking up at the looming man, Coach Valsolk had never had much patience for Logan as a human being. It might have to do with the fact Logan was one of his best gymnasts but spent 1/3 of the time and effort every other gymnast under his tutelage or it may be that Logan was in a boy band.

Coach Valsolk had some unresolved issues with boy bands since he sustained a carer ending injury when he was trampled in a flash mob in the nineties led by the boy band Boy Blast.

Logan did his best not to mention that Gustavo Rocque was his producer for that reason (okay and many, MANY other reasons.)

"Shut up Mitchell- I was talking to the other Mitchell" and the coach turned to assistant coach Sasha Mitchell who had been lurking near where he had been stretching (she had made it her mission to make gymnastics less fun than it had ever been.)

"Right" Logan muttered and walked over to the ring, the coaches' eyes followed him in a very telling way. Logan did his best to ignore the feeling of people watching him so didn't notice the second set of eyes watching him.

"Kendall this feels vaguely stalkery" Carlos said in mild concern as he rubbed the back of his neck. "How so?" Kendall asked putting down his binoculars and put his hand on his shoulder "this is just like old times."

"It didn't seem as creepy when we had snow to hide in" Carlos mumbled and stole the binoculars so he could watch some of the pretty girl gymnasts' dance on the beam. "Did it?"

They turned to look at the annoyed guy sitting behind them in the spectator section with his arms crossed; he had a vaguely familiar but annoying face. Kendall scoffed and gave the guy an offended look "um- sorry do I KNOW you?"

"Yes- I seem to have the unfortunate fortune of sitting behind you EVERYTIME I watch my little sister's gymnastics class- are you STILL spy on that poor spiky haired boy who kicks ass on the poll vault, cause let me tell you there are more interesting people to spy on I'm sure."

A proud look crossed Kendall's face "he DOES kick ass on the poll vault doesn't he?" Kendall Knight: expert at missing the point.

Carlos let out a horrified gasp "Kendall- you've… been spying on Logan WITHOUT me?" He gave Kendall a betrayed look and clutched the binoculars close to his chest "what? No Carlos it's not even like that- those where scouting missions!"

"Since when do we not scout together?" Carlos asked shrilly and Kendall covered his mouth, "shh that's not being stealthy!" Carlos slapped his hand away "ergh! I am so sick of you ending all our arguments this way- it's not cool!"

"He's right that's not cool" another guy who was sitting next to the guy behind them chimed in and Kendall glared at him "okay and who the hell are you?"

"Oh I'm Wallace Dooley" the dark haired man identified himself, Carlos grinned at him "that's for your support Wally!"

"Actually that's Wallace-"

"And who are you; guy-I-apparently-sit-in-front-of-every-time-I-spy-here?" Kendall narrowed his eyes at the brunette. The guy gives him a mortified look "h-how can you not know who I am?"

Kendall shrugged "should I? You don't look familiar…"

The brunette pulled a pop tiger magazine out of nowhere (fairly reminiscent of James but the only person who would appreciate that was being gymnast-y on the floor.) The magazine had Dak Zebon (of course) on the cover and up in the corner a pretty boy brunette (who's face Kendall didn't seem to like) was smiling up at him.

Kendall looked up and realised the smug prick with the face Kendall didn't quite like on the magazine was the same smug prick Kendall didn't seem to quite like sitting before him.

"Jett Stenson" he provided haughtily and recognition crossed Wallace's face "Oh- you're on that show New Town High right… your pilot aired a few weeks ago and had some pretty impressive ratings, right?"

"Of course it did" he shot Wallace a photo perfect smile "I was in it."

Wallace rolled his eyes and turn to the two boys that had returned to spying on their friend "and what about you guys- are you like private investigators or something?"

"What?" Kendall laughed, "What gave you that impression?" Wallace pointed to the binoculars and Kendall not so subtly stuffed them under his shirt and then acted like the binoculars were never there. Wallace raised his eyebrows "… though now I'm thinking maybe not… please say you're extreme bird watchers."

"I think they're just run of the mill perverts Waldo" Jett patted Wallace on the head who glared at him in response "that's Wallace actually." Jett snorted and caught his reflection in the glass separating them from the gymnasts and fixed his hair "like it even matters."

"We're not perverts" Carlos assured Wallace "we're in a boy band" Kendall winced automatically. Wallace whistled "oh really that's pretty cool- I auditioned last week to be in a boy band… that's actually why I'm here one of the gymnasts-"

"Nobody cares Wayne lame" Jett stuck up his hand into Wallace's face "and you two- eyebrows and helmet, what does being in a boy band, have to do with binoculars and staking out a gym?"

"We're sabotaging our band mate so he doesn't have extracurriculars outside of us" Kendall told him and then cringed. "Well that doesn't sound good when I say it out loud to total strangers."

"It's okay as an actor I have convinced you we have a connection and you feel comfortable with confiding in me" Jett patted Kendall on the arm. "We don't actually have a connection though- that's an important fact to remember," he gave Kendall a self-indulgent smirk and Kendall balled up his fist. "The only connection we have, Jett" Kendall said slowly "is the connection my fist will have with your face."

"Wow um guys- I really don't want us to get kicked out of this gym" Wallace interjected pulling Jett back the same time Carlos grabbed a hold of Kendall's shoulder. "Wayne is right, I don't want to get kicked out," he gave Wallace the thumbs up but the boy glared at him "it's not actually-"

"AHHHHHHHHHH"

They all turned to the floor at the sound of the scream "oh no Kendall the ninja trap" Carlos muttered, Kendall gripped his seat and grimaced "not one of my better plans…"

"Do you think that coach will be okay?" Wallace asked in concern, Kendall shrugged "dunno- well this was an eventful day, time to bail" he stood up quickly and Carlos followed.

"If it's all the same to you I'm going to stay here and watch my sister's gymnastics class and act like I don't know you- which I don't" Jett told them. Wallace nodded "I'm going to follow his lead- his idea is very compelling, I feel like I have a weird connection with him."

Jett smiled and patted him on the back "it's because I'm a good actor."

******BTR******

James stared down Kelly who had her arms crossed "be straight with me James- where did those slackers run off too?" She commanded and James shrugged "I told you I don't know! I had my hands over my ears…"

"Why on earth did you do that?" Kelly asked in annoyance, James shrugged "cause I didn't want to be part of their scheme- Logan says not to trust Kendall's schemes if he's not around to proof check them… I'm kind of regretting it now though."

Kelly rolled her eyes "why is that James- is this conversation too painful for you?" James shrugged and leant back against his chair "no- okay yes it is, but that's not the reason, the reason is I was all alone in class today and Miss Bitterman would not shut up! She likes cats- like A LOT and is lonely and I would like to state again would NOT shut up… hey Kelly do YOU need a friend-"

Kelly smacked James over the head, "ow!" he yelled clutching his head "what was that for?"

The doors to the practice room swung open and Carlos and Kendall walked in laughing, corndogs in hand and stopped at the sight of Kelly.

"Um- this isn't what it looks like," Carlos said guiltily, hiding his corndog behind his back, Kelly gave them the look. "Really? Cause it looks like you two ditched class so you could go on some kind of date" she snapped at them. James didn't even bother to hide his amusement.

"Oh well then with much more confidence I can DEFIANTLY tell you that it isn't what it looks like" Kendall told her casually taking a sip of his lemonade.

Kelly shook her head at the boys and grabbed an ear of each boy and dragged the two boys off to the recording booth. "Hang back James" she called out to the pretty boy "aw" he replied quickly "I wanted to see if you really are a black belt!"

"You can't hit us!" Carlos shrieked and dug his feet in, Kelly glared at the sudden dead weight and snapped "oh- why is that?"

Kendall snorted and made a gesture with his hands he usually reserved for when he was trying to con one of his band mates. "Because" he drawled "we're not aloud to hit you- it hardly seems fair to leave us handicapped."

"At least you know it's inappropriate to hit a colleague" she sighed. "What? Oh no- we wouldn't hit you because you're a girl" Carlos explained, "I don't want to go to hell."

"I was wondering why you just LET your sister kick the shit of you!" James laughed pointing at the now mostly faded black eye on Carlos' face.

"She doesn't touch me if Kendall's around" Carlos told James in a stage whisper "Kendall doesn't hit girls either- but he finds more... inventive ways to enact his vengeance."

Kelly shot Kendall a look and he shrugged "mice in their hair works well... except on Jenny Tinkler... she is immune to every type of revenge."

"You shouldn't be seeking revenge on Jenny anyway," Carlos scolded "she never means to hurt anyone," Carlos turned to explain to James.

"I just wanted to mail her to Australia- I thought she'd appreciate the warm whether!" Kendall defended and James laughed "Yeah? When I was eight I tried to mail my cousin to Persia, things always seem so fool proof when your younger."

"Yeah?" Carlos scoffed "well Kendall tried to mail her last year."

"Okay EH-nough!" Kelly shoved them into Gustavo's office, "I don't get paid enough to deal with you two!"

They stumbled into the office, startling Gustavo who had been talking to someone on the phone. He held up a finger at them, indicating for them to wait- they took this as a signal to sit down in the empty chairs across from his desk.

"I'm not saying it's a bad idea- I just don't SEE why we need someone from the outside. You KNOW we have enough 'talent' in this particular area… yeah okay maybe he would say that but…"

A dark look crossed his face "I'm SURE I will see you soon," and he snapped his mobile shut. He looked up and took stock at the scene before him- Carlos was trying to lean back in his chair and balance without falling over and Kendall was wearing a pair of sunglasses (identical to the pair Gustavo was wearing… had been wearing… how had he managed to steal them off his face without him realizing?) and was rearranging his items on his desk while speaking in a booming voice, calling everything 'dog' and 'monkey-dog.'

Gustavo slammed his hand down on the table, Kendall looked up in surprise and Carlos fell out of his chair and Gustavo smirked at the satisfying batman circa 1960s-esk sound effect 'BAM' that went with it.

"Kelly's right" Kendall sighed and helped Carlos up "she probably DOESN'T get paid enough to deal with us…"

"There would never be enough money," Gustavo snapped at him stealing his sunglasses back and flicking Kendall on the forehead for good measure. Kendall rolled his eyes and pulled out his mobile so he could play tetris "Isn't the point of you producing us that you're betting the OPPOSITE of that?"

"QUIET!" Gustavo snatched Kendall's phone out of his hands and threw it across the room. "NORMALLY your shenanigans would irk me dogs- but today I find them welcoming," he pulled out a small video camera "go on Kendall- say something disrespectful or demeaning into the camera."

"What the hell Gustavo!" Kendall stood up in surprise knocking his chair over, "oh small acts of property violence and visible outrage- nice, but I think you're better than that."

"Seriously Gustavo- why are you taping us?" Carlos also jumped up, covering himself as if the man was trying to tape him naked. "What are you talking about?" Gustavo told them innocently "I'm not taping you" he told them holding the video camera. "You JUST SAID-" Carlos shrieked and Gustavo snorted, "oh Carlos you must be delusional."

"You're holding a video camera right now! And it's taping," Kendall responded slightly more calm than Carlos "we can see the red blinking light- also that's the nanny cam 2000, your supposed to hide it in a teddy bear or something so we don't notice it, not stick it in our faces."

"Wow- your ability to be a huge creeper has actually saved the day Kendall" Carlos cheered (Kendall had been trying to convince Carlos that he NEEDED a nanny cam for two straight birthdays- Carlos thought it crossed a line in Kendall's stalk-tastic tendencies from oddly endearing to Edward Cullen.)

"Okay cut!" Gustavo yelled and put the camera down, "you don't HAVE to say cut if you're the one holding the camera" Carlos pointed out and Gustavo growled at him.

"Seriously Gustavo- what's with the camera?" Kendall asked and sunk back into his chair, he picked up an odd looking pencil holder and pulled out a microphone and threw it at Gustavo. "Also your stealth could use some work- I was wondering what the microphones were for…"

"They're microphones here?" Carlos asked curious and Kendall stood up and began searching for the microphones hidden around the room "WILL YOU STOP THAT DOG!" Gustavo glared and Kendall shrugged throwing several small microphones at him "one second" Kendall pulled a microphone from behind Carlos' ear. "Okay," he nodded and sat down.

"That's actually kind of impressive" Carlos said voice filled with awe, "I didn't notice that was there!" Kendall snorted, "You would if you ever washed behind your ears."

"ENOUGH- I'm getting a headache… just go."

"But-" Kendall started and Gustavo glared at him with surprising intensity "just go- you have ruined my audition tape."

"Audition tape?" Carlos echoed, "it's nothing" Gustavo muttered "just go."

"But Kelly sent us in here to be punished cause we skipped school" Carlos explained before Kendall could quite him. Gustavo held up his camera excitedly "do you want to say that again to the camera?"

Carlos opened his mouth but Kendall covered it with his hand, "no I think we're just gonna go… let you have your mental break down in peace…" he grabbed Carlos and proceeded to back out of the room with the same caution one might back out of a room wired with live explosives (Gustavo WAS a live explosive, Kendall thought gleefully.)

He dialled his mobile phone with a look of apprehension etched on his face.

"Griffin- there is a problem… NO WE DON'T NEED YOUR BOY BAND! Yes, yes I'll get you your proof of 'bad boyness' I just need more time wait what? What do you mean you've already hired him!"

******BTR******

Logan stormed into the practice room and slammed the door, he found only James in the room (who was playing video games on his iphone and looking very unsympathetic to his plight.) Logan stared at James angrily but James didn't look at him, in fact he continued playing his game and not acknowledging Logan in any way.

Logan pursed his lips and opened the door again and slammed it with a bit more vigor- startling James. "Oh good James you're here" he boomed and James rolled his eyes, "why are you throwing a tantrum now? Are your books out of order?"

"That is a valid thing to get upset about! But that's not it!" Logan squeaked and glared at James in a way that made the taller boy sit up a bit straighter, Logan seemed genuinely upset (which was different and a lot frequent than annoyed Logan- who showed up every time he sang while eating or reorganising Logan's stuff.)

"So what is it?"

Logan began to pace in front of James and seemed to be muttering to himself, "Loges?" James asked in a quiet voice, he wasn't sure how to calm down an angry Logan but he assumed it was similar to when a bear attacks.

Play dead… maybe it will leave…

No. James couldn't play dead! Had Logan played dead when James had ran out of Cuda and had that massive freak out? Well okay… he HAD but after James had forcibly shaken him and ruined his fake death Logan had been very supportive about the whole thing.

"-I mean WHY would anybody even do that, I can't fathom what would have had to have gone through someone's head for the inception of this idea to be-"

Oh. So maybe Logan had been ranting this entire time while James had been zoned out and giving himself hypothetical congratulatory pats on the back for being such a good friend.

"Wait… what happened?"

Logan stopped pacing and sighed heavily "Kendall and Carlos- or two guys in face black and tree hats who struck a uncanny resemblance to Carlos and Kendall MAIMED my assistant coach."

"What? How?" James asked in horror- he didn't like Sasha (nobody did she was a very unlikable human being) but it didn't mean he wanted those two crazies to hurt her… damn. He shouldn't have covered his ears when they discussed their plan, saving casualties beat plausible deniability every time.

"They had these kids pelt her with rubber ninja starts while dressed in black!" Logan threw up his hands in disbelief and James couldn't very well control his laughter- because well, there were ninjas involved…

Logan smacked him "stop it! This has just been the latest in various ninja related attacks to the gym and my coach finally caught on that it was MY band mates that were doing it and he BANNED me from the gym!"

"Wait their plan actually worked?" James said in surprise, it was a ridiculous plan from start to finish. Logan hit him again "IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE FOCUSING ON?"

"Well come on Logan- it's a bizarre plan, I can't believe that Kendall organised and then EXCUCUTED that plan, let alone that it WORKED!" James waved his hands around for emphasis (because lets face it the situation warranted it) and Logan stamped in foot.

"Did you NOT hear about the part where my coach kicked me out of the gym?" Logan asked in exasperation, he was slowly cooling off but at least wanted James to feel some sympathy towards the situation. "Is that the guy who has an inexplicable hatred to all boy bands?"

"He was trapped in a flash mob- someone broke his hip when they turned up and performed 'girl my only girl' at his book signing."

"Why would he be signing books?" James scratched his head "because Alec Valsolk was a national ranked champion before his injury" they both turned startled at Gustavo's sudden entrance.

"He's never forgiven boy bands since then- he made it his mission to destroy the band- which he succeeded in doing- it was an unfortunate day for boy blast," he shook his head mournfully. "Wasn't it more unfortunate for the guy who broke his hip?" James scoffed and Gustavo glared.

Gustavo's attention snapped to Logan, "so I have been contacted about your dismissal from the gym- Griffin has requested you do not find another."

Logan's face fell "b-but why?"

"BECAUSE IT'S A DISTRACTION!"

Gustavo patted Logan awkwardly on the head "I'm ah sorry?" his voice squeaked pathetically and Logan gave him a watery smile "I guess it was time to give up on it any way… I shouldn't devote so much time to things that make me happy… I should just focus on the band…"

James flung his arms open "oh! Logan I can fix this! With hugs!"

Logan laughed and let James hug him, maybe this wouldn't be a bad thing after all.

All was right with the band, and maybe they would all laugh about this one day.

But not today because he planned some horrifying things to happen to Kendall and Carlos when they least expected it.

*****BTR******

Kendall was sweating- Logan was standing two feet away from him eerily calm, even though James had warned them that he had discovered they were behind the ninja plan (Kendall had never been good at subtle- but Logan hadn't caught on to any of the ninja based plans involving the gym so Kendall filed this under bad luck.)

"FROM THE TOP!" Gustavo screamed and they all straightened out, they had been singing 'the city is ours' for three straight hours and nobody was very enthusiastic about it anymore.

"Gustavo can't we take a break" Carlos whined and wobbled pathetically, Gustavo narrowed his eyes and then nodded, "fine take five."

They fell in a heap on the floor. "STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC!"

Gustavo paced the length of the room "Dogs while I have you siting, I want to share some news" he starts looking carefully not in Kendall's direction. "It has come to my attention that there is something missing in the band."

"Moose?" James throws out hopefully eyeing Kendall's hair in distain, "CHOCOLATE moose" Carlos adds hopefully and nudges Logan in the side and whispered "you'll make me some right?" Logan gives him a chilly reception "oh sure I'll get right on that after I get over what you did- you can have chocolate moose in four point five years."

"Four point five years?" Carlos cried in horror "why four point five years?"

"Simple math- when you loose something the appropriate mourning time is half the time you spent loving that thing. I've been doing gymnastics for nine years so for four point five years I will be wearing black and not making you chocolate moose."

Carlos sent Kendall a horrified look but Kendall shrugged- Logan couldn't hold a grudge. At least he HOPED he couldn't- he hadn't known the boy that long.

"NONE OF THOSE" Gustavo screamed over the private conversation "I'm talking about the bad boy- it's a rock and roll tradition. The ill tempered rebel with the flare for synchronised dance who doesn't enjoy facing his peers. One of you has to be it," he stopped in front of Kendall "I say its Kendall."

"What? No way! I'm reformed!" Kendall defends himself and Logan snorts "says the man who paid children to throw ninja stars at my assistant coach today."

"Gustavo why do we NEED a bad boy?" James asked and Kelly pulled out a picture of Griffin and a phone. She pressed a key to play back a message.

"Gustavo" Griffin's voice boomed with the presence that was so strong he didn't need to be in the room to intimidate people. "The band needs a bad boy. Bye."

"They were rubber" Kendall stressed and glared at Gustavo "I'm not going to do it!"

"Another one of Griffin's crazy demands" Logan grinned and nudged James- they were thinking of the time he made them wear colour coded skivvies. Griffin hadn't given up on the idea and said he would transfer it to another boy band and then they would be huge and wouldn't THEY feel ridiculous. Kendall maintained he couldn't feel anymore ridiculous than how he felt in a bright yellow skivvy.

"See I thought you might be resistant- so I have been trying to capture you on film so Griffin would FORCE you to be the bad boy. But you have thwarted me at every turn- which makes you the bad boy."

"But you don't have the proof" Griffin's voice sung out, they all jumped and search wildly. Kelly shook the phone "It's not even on!"

"Don't be absurd" Griffin told her appearing behind Kelly "I'm always on, just look at my smile." His two assistances (who also appeared out of nowhere) gestured towards his smile (which was actually quite disturbing.)

"Griffin" Gustavo yelped, "how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," he shot Gustavo a smirk and slivered up to Kendall "so- you don't want to be the bad boy huh?"

"I don't want to turn my back on my friends" Kendall shrugged and shot a stealth look at Logan "even if it looks like I am…"

"That's good- I respect that," Griffin nodded and then turned to Gustavo and shook his head "he wouldn't make a good bad boy anyway- a bad boy is someone parents wouldn't let their daughters date." He gave the band a sweeping glance and wrinkled his nose "and I would let my daughters date any one of those boys- well maybe not Lexus, I don't think a judge would approve of that."

"Do something about it or I will- no wait I already have" he gestured as the doors flew open.

"Yo what's up?"

The boy who burst in was roughly their age with baggy pants, bling and a backwards cap. The epitome of what Griffin must think 'street' is.

"Wallace?" Kendall squinted and Wallace smirked at him "It's Wayne-Wayne now" he wiped invisible dust off his sleeve. "Wallace" Carlos said sincerely, missing the look of distain on the boys face at being ignored "you have something on your face."

"It's called a goatee" Griffin said proudly "that's why he's the bad boy."

"Wayne-Wayne" Logan nodded at him, and Wayne-Wayne tipped his hat. "You know this dude Logan?" James asked, shying away from Wayne-Wayne's gaudy bling in case gaudy was contagious.

"We had an enlightening chat" Logan smirked.

"That's right" Wayne-Wayne nodded and turned to Griffin "we decided maybe I WASN'T needed as the bad boy of the group."

"Oh and who will take your place- Kendall?" Griffin laughed and then glared at his assistants until they laughed with him.

"No Logan."

Several ropes fell from the ceiling and five small ninjas slid down those ropes and surrounded Kendall and Carlos holding ninja stars.

"Oh well played Mitchell" Kendall muttered faintly and raised his hands to protect his face; Carlos whimpered and hid behind him.

Wayne-Wayne took off his hat and placed it over his heart "you know you just have to appreciate another bad boy's work when it's of this calibre."

And then Kendall and Carlos were pelted with rubber ninja stars.

**Please read and review I always enjoy feedback and suggestions are ALWAYS welcome!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note: Okay so a few of you mentioned a desire for Logan and James' parent stuff to be revisited, good news, that's exactly what this chapter is about. It ended up being difficult to write but I'm really satisfied with how it went. Oh and if any of you are interested I started ANOTHER story- it's a collection of AU Lomille stories (cuz we all know how much I love AUs right?) And is open to requests. Anyway enjoy the chapter and thanks for the reviews, alerts and favs for last chapter.**

The four boys lounged in an unorganised line on the floor whilst Wallace paced in front of them. Gustavo stood to the side with a VERY amused smirk across his face.

"Okay" Wallace said unsurely, and then straightened out "right- your first lesson in boy band 101." Kendall stuck his hand up with an impertinent look across his face "Excuse me… professor Dooley. Why are YOU teaching this class- you're not even in a band!"

Logan leaned over and smacked him over the head, Kendall turned like he was about to hit Logan back but stopped short "damn- the Disney enthusiast in me demands that I can't actually injure bambi." Logan scowled and Kendall took this as a non-violent victory (he rarely ever had those too.)

"Why is there a Disney enthusiast in you?" Carlos asked wide eyed "Kendall… did you eat a small child, because even the Grimm Brothers knew that wasn't cool." Kendall didn't hesitate to hit Carlos, because even though he did bare a striking resemblance to thumper from that same movie. He would never feel any regret from slapping Carlos upside the head.

"QUIET!" Wallace slammed the hockey stick (that had magically appeared in his hand) down on the ground like a gavel. Kendall's eyes snapped to the hockey stick… it looked familiar.

"AH! ROXANNE!"

Kendall lunged for his hockey stick but James and Logan held him back, "dude" James laughed "you named your hockey stick Roxanne?" Logan sniggered with him "haven't you ever heard that police song- Roxanne is kind of trampy."

Carlos was rolling around on the floor laughing "Roxanne IS trampy! She used to be a communal hockey stick for our team- she was a spare!"

Kendall wrestled out of their grip, "the guys on my hockey team gave it to me as a going away present- everyone signed it" he said pridefully but his cheeks were bright pink. "Aw- that's sweet" Logan said "No one gave me anything" James elbowed him affectionately "that's because you don't play well in team sports- what did our freshman sport teacher write on your report?"

Logan flushed bright red "Doesn't know how to co-ordinate in a team- not even in tennis doubles." James laughed, "Remember when we first started going to dance classes and you…" James grabbed Kendall around the waist to stop Kendall making a desperate attempt to reunite himself with Roxanne.

"Why do you even have her?" Kendall demanded and James and Logan mouthed 'her' to themselves with twin expressions of amusement. "She is my hostage" Wallace told him with a sharp smile "she will ensure you're full co-operation."

"That's brilliant!" Gustavo told Wallace with great admiration and turned to Kelly and barked, "Quick take notes!"

Kelly pulled out a notebook "blackmail dogs" she muttered to herself and looked up to see four sets of puppy dog eyes staring at her. She stared wide eyed in some sort of stare off before ripping the page out of the book and crumpled it up "THIS is why you guys get called dogs" she muttered sourly.

Wallace poked her side with the hockey stick, "this is why you are soft" he told her in a disappointed tone, unfortunately she was fairly ticklish so all his reprimanding achieved was a giggly, twitchy Kelly.

Wallace snapped his attention back to the group of boys on the floor, "James!" he suddenly addressed the tall boy making him stand up ad snap to attention in surprise. "May I use you in a demonstration?"

Wallace pulled out a retractable pointer from his sleeve and Logan gasped "you have Dexter too?" Kendall turned towards him with a horrified grin on his face "you were giving me shit about Roxanne when you have a pointer named Dexter?" He accused, Carlos patted Logan on the head "aw- Logan just likes to teach people, that's all."

"You knew about this?" Kendall narrowed his eyes pointing at Carlos in an critical manner, Wallace gave the pointer to Kendall so his pointing could be even more accusatory but he almost took out the Latino boy's eyes and his pointer privileges were quickly revoked.

"Logan has been tutoring me- he it irrationally fond of that pointer so I'd be careful with it" Carlos told Wallace seriously. "You're helping Carlos with his homework?" James asked curiously and Logan sent Carlos a fond look "yeah- his math has improved in leaps and bounds."

"Do YOU know what the Pythagorean theorem is Kendall? Cause I do" Carlos questioned him smugly and Wallace sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, 'these guys have the attention span of a five year olds.' Carlos then gave Logan a thoughtful look "though I never got why you called your pointer Dexter?"

James broke out into a grin "I came up with it- it's a play on words, Pointer Dexter." Carlos scratched his head "wait… I still don't get it?"

Wallace smacked James with the pointer and James made a show of wincing, "THANK YOU James for volunteering. Okay so the boy band is a fairly simple formula composed of five guys" four hands shot up and Wallace glared "YES I am AWARE there are only four of you."

The hands went down sheepishly and Wallace gestured at James with the pointer "there is; the heart throb." James made a silent motion of self-congratulation, "he is the unofficial face of the band."

"I thought I was the unofficial face of the band" Kendall complained and Wallace scoffed "not with THOSE eyebrows you're not."

"Anyway- note the stature" he made a sweeping gesture at James' height "the pristine clothes and toned body- he's most likely to have a successful solo carer when the band ends he is MOST DEFINITLY the heart throb."

Wallace pushed James down and grabbed Carlos by the shirt and pulled him up, Wallace gestured towards the small boy and Kelly raised her hand excitedly "oh- oh he's the cute one!"

"Aw Kelly you think I'm cute?" Carlos gave her a wide smile and she rolled her eyes at him affectionately "aw honey- the cute one never gets the girls."

"WHAT?" he gave Wallace a horrified look "is that true?" Wallace ignored him, focusing instead on lecturing the other members of the band "the cute one- also known as the 'little brother' type, can be considered the second, less sexually threatening heart throb…. Though in this case I think maybe not."

Carlos' face fell and you could hear his heart breaking, Wallace soldiered on though he pointed Dexter in Logan's face "the shy one of course." As if it needed no further explanation "what?" Logan cried in mild annoyance "You helped me plan a stealth ninja attack and you think I'm shy?"

James patted Logan on the back "don't be that way Loges- you know shy is just a code word for nerdy."

"It's true" Wallace nodded and Logan sighed "oh. Okay then- I'm all better" Logan had never been concerned about being a nerd but he was OUTGOING god damn it and no one was going to say other wise.

"So where does that leave me?" Kendall smirked "easy" Wallace shrugged "you're the big brother type the older fans can relate to."

"I AM NOT the big brother," Kendall said heatedly "but…" Carlos responded in confusion "you ARE a big brother."

"And our key demographic will be like fourteen year olds" Logan pointed out "meaning our older fan base would be like… hot twenty year olds."

"Okay I'm good now" Kendall grinned and crossed his arms.

Wallace shook his head "did you notice something though guys?" the boys shook his head and Wallace threw Roxanne and Dexter to the ground, making their respective owners gasp.

"Not one of you is the bad boy."

******BTR******

"Wally is ridiculous- of COURSE I'm the bad boy" Kendall told Carlos sulkily, hitting the buttons of his x-box controller with a little more force than necessary. "I mean I've been arrested more times than the rest of you combined" he stabbed Logan's character viciously to emphasis the point. Ignoring any cries from the smaller boy that they were on the same team- he had been trying to prove a point damn it!

"Okay first of all you've only been arrested once… I don't care if that's more than the rest of us combined, it's not that impressive." Carlos told him pausing the game. "I've been escort to the police station thirty one times" Kendall insisted "even if it's not on the record that's still impressive."

"It is," James nodded appreciatively and Logan scowled in their general direction, he immensely disliked where this conversation was taking them. "It's irrelevant" Carlos told them, and then turned to Logan to check he'd use that word correctly, when Logan gave him the thumbs up he flushed with pleasure and turned back to Kendall. "Wallace said that they're not looking for a REAL bad boy- they're looking for someone to fit the stereotype."

Kendall un-paused the game so he could thrash Carlos' character soundly into the ground and Carlos scrambled for his controller trying to ward of the attack. "Dude!" Carlos complained, Kendall was by far the best at their nameless old game (that they had recently gotten addicted to because they now had enough players that the free for all fights were fun again.)

"I don't see why you're upset- he's training you to be the bad boy anyway" Logan told him, he threw his controller down in defeat, Kendall had annihilated him earlier in the game and Logan's character had turned into a ghost and floated off screen.

"One, I shouldn't have to be trained that was the whole point of my rant" Kendall stabbed James' character and stole his weapon from him, "and two, and more importantly- I don't want to be… be MOLDED into some idea of a preteen acceptable bad boy. I hate fakers!"

Kendall's character was doing some sort of sword sweep that Logan supposed was a video game warrior version of a victory dance. Logan rolled his eyes; Kendall was stubborn and would probably think of someway to cheat at this game as well (the 'bad boy game' Logan liked to call it in his head.)

He just hoped Kendall didn't cross the line from being a bad boy, to a bad guy.

Suddenly the up-beat tempo of a violin playing Bach's allegro could be heard, Logan flushed pulled his phone out of his pocket and took in a quick glance at the caller ID before he stood up abruptly. "I ah- just need to take this…" he practically bolted into Carlos and Kendall's room and locked the door.

"Who was that?" Carlos wondered and Kendall furrowed his brow "and why did he go into OUR room?"

"Because your door has a lock?" James shrugged (Kendall and Carlos' room was the only room in the apartment with a lock- Mrs Knight kept meaning to get it removed but the maintenance man was always conveniently busy whenever she inquired about it.)

"That means… he didn't want to us to hear it!" Carlos deduced eyes widened in shock and Kendall slammed down his hand on the table as if to confirm the suspicion. "Ah- no duh! He's probably just talking to his dad or something… or maybe he and Lenore are in touch again?" James said as he shuddered picking up a cushion off the couch to hold it close to his chest.

"WHAT?" Kendall cried sitting up suddenly, startling Carlos by the sudden movement. "What did you mean Logan's dad? Logan doesn't have a dad…does he?" Kendall thought about Logan's mother that had told him it was too impersonal to speak over the telephone, and then tried to imagine the man that married that woman.

"Of course he does" James snorted, "he can't call to much cause he keeps busy at work- but… hey! What are you guys doing?"

Kendall had poll vaulted up off the couch and into the kitchen, rummaging until he found a glass and went over to his door where Carlos already had his ear pressed against. He placed the lip of the glass to the door and puts his ear to the closed end trying to hear the conversation.

"What is he saying?" Carlos asked impatiently and Kendall hushed him by covering his mouth with his hand. "Quiet Carlos, I can't quite make out- wait! There it is!"

"Ergh" James shot them a disgusted look and raised his hands "I don't think I can even be a bystander to this- I'm going to play music LOUDLY in my room." Both boys shushed him and Kendall glared at the pretty boy until he retreated to his room and was completely out of sight.

"I can't believe she would do that!" Logan's voice raised just enough so Kendall could hear through the door with the help of the glass (Logan after all was a genius, so he had enough common sense to stand well away from the door making it even harder to hear.)

It was quiet for a moment and then an explosive "how can you call yourself a father if you don't even try anymore?"

Kendall had enough common sense to move away from the door, realising this wasn't just 'private' it was ACTUALLY private. So they probably shouldn't be listening.

Kendall put his finger to his lip and Carlos nodded and let Kendall pull him by the hand back over to the couch.

That's when James' loudest, most cringe worthy pop music started full ball and being silent became a moot point.

Twenty minuets later Logan came back out, looking a little emotionally wrecked and sat down on the couch next to Kendall and curled up, pressed against his side. Kendall didn't hesitate to wrap his arm around the smaller boy and Carlos decided this was probably another one of those private moments and wondered up stairs to find James.

Logan just sighed, breathing deeply and evenly into Kendall's shoulder. "Have… have you even hated anyone?" Logan asked in a small voice "I didn't think I ever had- but…"

Kendall stroked Logan's hair and Logan fell silent. Kendall couldn't quite grasp this conversation. Why wasn't Logan going to James about whatever this was? Not that Kendall minded… It just seemed peculiar.

Did Logan hate his dad?

That thought worried Kendall more than he thought it would, and maybe that's why Logan came to him… Kendall knew all about hating fathers.

Kendall patted Logan's shoulder firmly and turned on the TV, over to some documentary show prepared to let Logan lean into him until every trace of tension unwound in his body.

He might be there for a while…

******BTR******

Kendall posed ineffectively, wrapping his arms around himself that seemed entirely too self-conscious to be a good bad boy. Good bad boy? Did that even make sense? No it didn't, this whole thing was stupid.

Wallace massaged his temples and threw himself onto the orange couch- bad boy lessons weren't going well. "Is something wrong Kendall?" Camille asked, she rubbed Wallace's back in a comforting gesture. Apparently She and Wallace went way back- they were in some lame TV show together that only lasted twelve episodes. Kendall privately thought she had just tagged along to see if Logan was about.

"I'm fine," he snapped at her, but she hadn't looked cowed in the slightest, instead she smirked at him and crossed her arms. "Ooooo I'm SO scared Kendall Knight- seriously what's wrong with you? You're usually more intimidating than this."

He shrugged noncommittally "it's nothing really" he told her, but he couldn't quite make his voice sound sincere.

"Something happen between you and the guys?" She fished and Kendall shrugged again. "Do you care?" he meant to snap at her but it came out a lot softer (his little moment with Logan was throwing him off today.)

"I care" she said defensively "you guys are hilarious- if you had a falling out who would amuse me?" Kendall snorted and resigned himself to the fact that he couldn't actually be all that irritated with Camille right now, and maybe Camille should start throwing herself at James instead of Logan because they spoke in an eerily similar manner.

Something clicked in his head and he cocked his head, a smirk crossing his face "Camille" he moved closer to her and her eyes shifted in worry "have you ever thought that Logan only ever shows interest in you because you're kind of similar to James?"

Camille opened her mouth and shut it, Wallace shook his head in annoyance "I said bad boy Kendall" he gave Kendall a glare "NOT bastard." Camille shook her head and laughed, "it's alright Wally, I'm not mad- plus he just told me Logan has been showing interest in me! Who wouldn't be glad after hearing that?"

Both boys raised their hands immediately and she rolled her eyes "I was speaking rhetorically" then she shot Kendall a mischievous look and waggled her finger "I would never let you have Logan." Kendall picked up a pillow resting on the couch and began to hit her with it.

"Ah" she shrieked and Kendall laughed smacking her in the face while Wallace tried to defuse the situation. "I said BAD BOY Kendall- not sorority sister!"

Then door slammed open and sucked all the fun out of the room. James stormed in "okay what the hell did you do to Logan, Kendall?" Kendall dropped the pillow and Camille straightened her blouse, which had fallen to disarray during the fight.

"What?" Kendall straightened out and gave James a hard look, James stalked up to him, and got right into his space "Logan is avoiding me- You. Did. Something."

Kendall sneered up at him "I DIDN'T do anything- if Logan's ignoring you that's not my fault, maybe he just realised he likes me better."

"This is better than cable," Camille told Wallace her voice filled with amusement; she dug her hand into a bowl of popcorn that had magically appeared in her lap. She stuffed a handful of popcorn into her mouth before passing the bowl to Wallace, who gave her a look of annoyance before taking the bowl. "Nobody should be this ridiculous in real life" though it was unclear whether he was referring to Camille or the boys.

James' eyes snapped to the houseguests for the first time and he flushed, "I didn't realise you guys were here" he mumbled. Wallace waved him off "nothing to be embarrassed about- Kendall could learn a thing or two from you, your stalking technique was most impressive." He gave the pretty boy the thumbs up "if I thought you could hold that attitude I would have suggested YOU be the bad boy."

Kendall glowered and James shrank away from him, all his anger depleted from him and Wallace sighed. James really didn't have the kind of mindset or dedication to play the bad boy role full time.

Kendall pulled James away from the spectators and used the lowest voice he could muster. "That call Logan got yesterday… it's sent him all out of wack, I don't think it's anything you did." Kendall squeezed James' shoulder and James gave him a weak smile in return, "you think?"

The apprehensive looks Logan had been casting in James' direction sprung to mind but Kendall quashed the memory and told James' firmly "absolutely- maybe it's just family stuff."

James' face contorted in a way Kendall had never seen before and it was at that moment Kendall resolved to finding out EXACTLY what James and Logan's home lives used to be like.

Because like his mum would always say, you can't fight a monster you can't see.

******BTR******

Kendall had always been a firm believer that privacy was a relative term.

Or at least that's how he had sold it to Carlos when he told him they were breaking into Logan and James' room. Because he was going to get to the bottom of whatever the hell was happening here that Kendall didn't quite understand and no one would explain to him.

Kendall always resorted to underhanded tactics when he didn't get his way.

"Man I thought Logan's half would be cleaner" Kendall marvelled at seeing the room in the light for the first time, he stepped over a small pile of clothes consisting entirely of sweater vests and kakis. "James said Logan's a mad scientist" Carlos told him hesitantly, standing at the door, Kendall rolled his eyes "Carlos get into this room right now! You don't expect me to get through all of this before they come back do you?"

"Kendall do you remember when I talked about things being a moral grey area?" Carlos leaned against the doorframe and Kendall shrugged and feigned disinterest "I guess? So what?" Carlos crossed his arms "we're running into a moral black area- I think it's time to jump off the sinking ship."

"But Carlos" Kendall said slowly "we're on land now" he patted the floor a few condescending times to emphasis his point and smirked wickedly at him. Carlos frowned but stepped into the room "you don't have to be an ass- it was a metaphor."

"And who taught you about metaphors Carlos? Logan, that's who- now don't you owe it to him to try your hardest to work out what's wrong with him? I mean really this is just for his own good!"

Carlos' resolve wavered and a wave of doubt crossed his face "isn't this still wrong though?" Kendall snaked up to him and wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulder "not when you think about WHY we're doing it- hey, if we were rummaging through their stuff for kicks I would be the first to say it was wrong." Kendall told him solemnly "but that's NOT why we're doing it, we're doing it because…"

Kendall purposefully left the sentence open so Carlos could finish it with a "we're worried about them…"

In the back of his mind he could hear Wallace's voice shout at him "Kendall! I told you to be a bad boy not a manipulative bastard!" but it was easy enough to ignore.

Kendall directed Carlos off to James' side of them room, and Kendall set about carefully uncovering the mountains of stuff on Logan's desk. He picked up what was clearly a copy of tomorrow's homework assignment, Kendall briefly battled with himself over wether to take it before putting it down. 'It's not what a bad boy would do,' he sulked to himself but Kendall knew better than to let himself get caught like that.

"Kendall?"

Kendall looked up from the desk with fists of papers in his hands and turned to Carlos who was holding various pieces of James' clothing and had stacked an assortment of hats onto his head. "What exactly are we looking for?"

Kendall shrugged and turned back to the desk "I don't know… use your brain Carlos, family pictures, old letters or… a mysterious locked box."

"A mysterious locked box? Kendall that seems awfully specific-" Carlos turned and found Kendall holding up a box victoriously and Carlos' mouth went slack. "Well" Kendall demanded, "Help me find the key!"

Carlos dashed over to Kendall's side and they both dropped any pretext of stealth as they ransacked the desk trying to find the key. "Where is it?" Kendall cried after a few frustrating minuets whilst Carlos stroked his chin "if I were Logan… where would I hide a key?"

Carlos' face lit up and an idea sprung to mind.

He ducked down and appeared a few seconds later wearing Logan's sweater vest and a pocket protector. "Now I AM Logan" he explained to Kendall and threw himself onto Logan's bed "look at me I'm smart and no fun!"

Kendall nodded "that's a good idea." He ducked down and appeared a moment later, unable to pull the sweater vest over his head. "Argh! Why is he so small?" Kendall waved wildly, head still stuck in the sweater vest until Logan-Carlos pulled it off.

"You're going to have to be James" Logan-Carlos told him with a wicked smile, "I bet James would know where the key is- they tell each other everything!"

"I don't want to be James" Kendall said with disgust and crossed his arms, Logan-Carlos shrugged "oh well… I guess that means I'm going to find the key before you do" he told Kendall in a singsong voice. Kendall glowered at Logan-Carlos before ducking down.

James-Kendall popped back up (however begrudgingly) decked out in one of James' better graphic tees and ridiculous pants. James-Kendall's hair had been hurriedly styled to mimic James' perfectly coifed hair and James-Kendall glared at Logan-Carlos with great intensity.

"James wouldn't glare at Logan" Logan-Carlos teased James-Kendall and then quickly sidestepped when the tall blonde lunged at him "he also wouldn't try and tackle Logan, he said that they're awful at fighting one another."

James-Kendall nodded solemnly "James wouldn't hit bambi either" he them thumped Logan-Carlos on the back of the head "though apparently he has no problem laying into thumper."

Logan-Carlos let out a squeak and ran out of James-Kendall's range, almost tripping over James' mirror. Logan-Carlos' face lit up "I've got it!" he ran his hand down the back of the mirror until he pulled out the key "he got James to hide it! See I told you he knew where it would be!"

James-Kendall flopped down on the bed and flipped his hair "okay whatever" James-Kendall got a little distracted at looking at himself in the mirror. He fingered the collar of his shirt and smirked at his reflection in an appreciative way. Then he looked up in horror "it need to take this shit off- I think I'm being possessed by James."

"How could James posses his clothes he's not dead" Logan-Carlos told him in a know-it-all tone. Then his face lit up "oh! Oh! Maybe James is a wizard and he split his soul and put it in the clothes! OH MY GOD KENDALL! You're wearing a horcrux!"

Kendall slapped his hand over Carlos's mouth "I think we can safely assume that Logan didn't possess the clothes YOU'RE wearing- pity, you could use the IQ points."

"Oh well that's just mean."

They turned in horror at the sound of Logan's voice. James and Logan were standing at the door, looking both equal parts annoyed and amused.

James strode in and snatched the box from Kendall's hand "I'll be taking that" he gave the tall boy a glare. "You know Knight you've really crossed a line," James hissed but Logan pulled him back, "no- look they didn't open it it's fine."

Logan clutched the box to his chest "it's just… personal."

"You don't want to share things with us?" Carlos asked wide eyed and sad, Logan laughed humourlessly "I doubt it would make a difference- you already helped yourself to my clothes."

Carlos blushed bright red and shucked off the sweater vest "sorry Logie" he mumbled pathetically.

Logan remained tight lipped and James went over to the draw and put the key through a delicate silver chain and attached it around his neck before he turned around and walked out.

******BTR******

"I'm SORRY Logan" Kendall said not for the first time and Logan scrunched up his nose, trying to see past the blonde and back to his documentary. "Yes you've said that Kendall" he told him in a dismissive tone, "that doesn't change the fact you have invaded my privacy."

"It was for a good reason" Carlos insisted, he had spent the afternoon following James around like a puppy and had followed the tall boy back into the room. "We're worried about you" Kendall told Logan, never breaking eye contact with the Texan boy. A deep frown cut into his face and he stood up abruptly and left.

He reappeared moments later holding the mystery box; he held out his hand to James "give me the key please." A look passed James' face, he took the box and unlocked it without ever taking the key off the chain and handed it back.

Inside was a neat little stack of letters, he picked one in the middle at random and opened it.

"Dear Lotense, I can't quite remember what you prefer to be called so I mashed the names together, isn't that clever?"

Logan read out aloud and James actually went white as Logan spoke. Kendall bit his lip so hard that he could actually taste the blood in his mouth.

"Anyway I was wanted to see how you are doing, you sounded well in your last letter though I do admit it did take me several days to actually read it, would you consider writing less in your letters sweetie?"

Carlos was mouthing incomprehensible words but they didn't seem to want to vocalise, his eyes, on the other hand, spoke volumes of what he couldn't actually say. He wanted Logan to stop talking, he wanted to rip the letter from his hands, but that would only make everything worse.

"Are you getting on well with the other boys I know how you don't adjust well to new situations- you couldn't have gotten it from your father's side of the family so that must come from me."

There is a self-deprecating smile on Logan's face and his voice didn't even waver as he continued to read.

"Are you doing well at school? You always were such a smart boy, I don't doubt that this little boy band thing is a phase and you'll be back before I know it. I look forward to your response, love mum."

It was silent for a moment and Logan put the letter back in, "there aren't that many" Logan tells him with a shrug. "She writes once a week, it's not like they're _private_ or anything… I'd just prefer them to be private."

He threw the box to James and he carefully locked it again.

"I'm not upset about my mum… or my dad who is lovely by the way you nosey buggers and if you had asked me about why I was upset I would have told you it wasn't about my parents. I also would have told you it was none of your business because I hadn't worked out what to tell James yet…"

"Tell me what?"

Logan rubbed his neck and gave the two remaining boys a look, they both stood up to leave but James rose his hand, the silent gesture and stared Logan down. "What were you trying to tell me?"

"Your dad called me."

James' face immediately soured "of course he did" Logan reached out for him but James purposefully kept himself out of reach. "He wanted you to know that your mum's in town on business," Logan told him hesitantly.

Kendall and Carlos were watching the interaction like a tennis match, or maybe like a car crash. Either way it was hard to look away.

"I know" James snapped louder than he had meant and Logan motioned to take a step back but James caught his arm. "I mean," he said softer "I know- she texted me… saying she was busy but she'd try and schedule a lunch."

"She still doesn't think we'll make it past the demo stage" Logan sighed and James sagged into him, resting his forehead on Logan's shoulder. "I don't care what she thinks" James said stubbornly and Logan let out a small bark of a laugh "well okay maybe I do."

"Don't let what she thinks ruin this for you" Logan muttered and James just made a muffled sound into his shirt. James was content on drowning into Logan's shirt but felt a hand pull him away, and came face to face with Kendall.

"Was it hard? Back in Wisconsin?" He asked quietly, eyes full of an intensity that James wasn't used to being directed towards him. James shrugged "my parent suck" and he said it like it wasn't a big deal, because it wasn't. At least not to him. Not to Logan. They'd worked out most of their anger towards their parents a long time ago.

Kendall didn't know what to say, he never knew what was appropriate to say to James so he just pulled his friend close and clutched him tightly. "Is it hard here?" Kendall asked and willed his voice not to break, although will seemed to have nothing to do with it.

"Never" James laughed and they pulled apart until Carlos ran over and pulled them close together and James had to laugh at that, Carlos nearly bowled him over.

"I love you guys," Carlos told Logan and James because it was so much easier for him to say than anyone else, "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad we're here too" Logan grins and Carlos tackle hugs him so he doesn't feel left out.

Things should return to normal from here.

******BTR******

They spent the next few days feeling exposed and unsure of themselves, walking on eggshells around each other. At least until Kendall politely told them to screw that noise and that seeing each other… more completely didn't have to be a bad thing.

And so they returned to their regularly scheduled programming.

Carlos sat frustrated at the dinning table, a myriad of different newspapers spread out before him. His hands flexed over a particular piece from the New Yorker before he folded the piece of paper sharply.

Logan entered the dining room and took sight of the mess on the table, but chose not to comment.

Kendall had at some point 'finally' gotten sick of their meaningless petty fights and demand that Logan at LEAST learn to pick his battles with Carlos. So Logan did. He pulled out the seat next to Carlos but found Carlos' helmet staring up at him, hanging off a pole. Carlos stuck out his arm without looking away from his paper "don't sit there Logie- that's where Helmie's sitting."

Logan's eyes flashed with irritation, he remembered the 'pick your battles' thing and tried to weigh up in his head whether this would be deemed an acceptable battle in Kendall's eyes. Logan picks up his plate and moves to the other side of the Latino boy and inspected the chair for any other inanimate objects that might be sitting there.

Logan finally sat down and cleared a space so he could put his plate down; he really just wanted to eat his lunch. He had gone and made a proper meal of it, so he was going to enjoy it damn it! And not think about whatever Carlos was doing…

Logan didn't last long (his resolve isn't what it used to be) and he turned to Carlos. "Okay… what is this about?" he gestured to the newspaper and Carlos looked up in embarrassment, as if he'd just been caught doing something and Logan hadn't been siting there next to him for ten minuets.

He held the folded newspaper to his chest and gave Logan a shifty look "what? What is what? It has nothing to do with newspapers!"

"Okay…" Logan took another bite of his food and then leaned back in his chair and gave Carlos a smirk.

By the time James and Kendall got back from their intensive 'image training' with Wallace, they stumbled in on an odd but strangely glorious sight.

Logan and Carlos had constructed a few couch forts in their time (they were practically experts, they could have P. in couch fort building.) But there was something distinctively different about this fort.

It was a pirate ship.

"AVAST Cap'in Mitchell there be some landlubbers off the port side" Carlos yelled, newspaper pirate hat falling over his eyes. He poked his newspaper sword dangerously close to Kendall's face, which had come perilously close to the ship to inspect its craftsmanship.

"I keep telling you Carlos" Logan's voice floated from somewhere under a mass of pillows "the port side is-" he head popped up like a daisy from the ship and he lifted his newspaper eye patch to get a good look before roaring "LANDLUBBERS! PREPARE THE CANON!"

Kendall and James spent the next ten minuets getting pelted with pillows before they staged a revolt and stole all the other pillows in the house.

They ended up sprawled out on the floor, amongst the shambles, that had all the hallmarks of being the aftermath of a pirate showdown.

There was a knock at the door, which was all the warning they got before the door was nearly ripped off it's hinges and a giant intimidating man stood in the doorway.

"HORTENSE IGNATIOUS MITCHELL! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"

"Oh- um hi dad" Logan squeaked and drop rolled back into the pirate pillow fort, loaded his canons and prepared for a frontal assault.

**Please Read and Review **


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note: So guys at Uni you can take a course the normal way over a semester, or online or you can do it the stupid way at summer school and complete a semesters worth of work in two weeks. So that is what I've been doing so sorry for the lack of updating- but I wrote this entire thing on the three hours worth of public transportation I have to take to get to and from there so at least I haven't been wasting time.**

**On another note guys- HalfJillHalfJack has written a AU BTR story that I love so much it actually hurts called 'There's no place like home.' You should totally read it for reasons I can't even articulate here.**

…36, 37, 38, 39…

"How could you do this to me?" Logan hissed to James angrily "you said you were cool with what happened with your dad- then you go and rat me out to my dad? That's pretty passive aggressive!"

…50, 51, 52, 53, 54…

James seemed to be struggling for air but shot Logan a glare, "oh please- like I'm that smart!" Logan thought about it then nodded, cause that WAS true. James let out an insulted noise, 'Logan could have at least thought about it a bit longer before he agreed' he thought bitterly. "You could have at least-"

"LADIES- I HEAR TALKING BUT I DON'T SEE YOU SWEATING!"

James and Logan shared a look before grasping more firmly at the bar Sargent Mitchell had secured at the top of the doorframe for them to complete an unspecified number of chin-ups on (probably until James dropped from exhaustion.)

…75, 76, 77, 78…

"I DON'T HEAR YOU COUNTING!"

"79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84…"

"24, 25, 26, 27- are you seriously up to the eighties? How is that even possible?" James complained as he promptly lost his place. "Um- 34? 68? 71… 72, 73…" he picked up and Logan scoffed "YOU WERE AT TWENTY EIGHT JAMES" Sargent Mitchell called helpfully from the kitchen.

James groaned and fell to the floor in a heap, and watched Logan move above him for a moment before shutting his eyes tight.

Sargent Mitchell strolled back into the room and took in the sight of James with a cocked eyebrow "run out of steam already Diamond? Have I taught you nothing about endurance?" He gave James a toothy smile and helped the pretty boy up, "sure you have Sargent Mitchell." James laughed, rubbing his side "running away from you is the main reason I broke the record for the 50 metre dash last year."

Sargent Mitchell brushed James off and handed him a glass of water, and pushed him off to go sit on the couch with his band mates.

The boys in question sat on the couch as if they had been molded to it; James nudged Carlos over until there was enough space to sit down. "That's LOGAN'S dad?" Kendall asked finally eyes flicking from where Logan was doing pull ups to the large imposing man and then back to Logan again. "Do you think he's adopted?"

James let out a small laugh "yeah right- they look EXACTLY a like."

They both looked up and studied the older man's face, realizing that he actually did have quite similar features to Logan. The strong jaw, and squared hairline that had always hinted at masculinity on Logan's face whereas it looked impossibly imposing on Sargent Mitchell's face.

"Yeah…" Kendall drew the word out until it was merely a high pitched noise, "but Logan's not 6'6 either." James shrugged "the Mitchells are late bloomers- I went to some of their family reunions and his cousins all shot up well over six foot after graduating high school."

Kendall cocked his head curiously and watched the contours of Logan's arms as he pulled his weight up and down in the repetitive movement. "Why is he making him do that?"

Sargent Mitchell was suddenly right behind them, crouching behind the couch so his face was right next to their faces. "Because," he drawled out in his heavy Texan accent "Hortense broke chain of command when he decided to come out to California without informing his commanding officer."

"I got mum's permission," Logan whined as he flipped gracefully off the bar as a sign of protest. "We both know that doesn't count," His dad scolded in a rough voice and shook his head disapprovingly, before he turned to Carlos "to think I came home on leave to find the house empty- my son picked up and moved halfway across the country."

"How did you know that anyway?" Logan crossed his arms "I can't imagine mum actually remembering the address- I left her a bunch of envelopes with the address on them before… we… left- Dad did you go through my mail?"

"Don't be ridiculous son, I went through your MOTHER'S mail" he rolled his eyes and stood up, stalking out from behind the couch "and if you're going to bitch you can start on some push ups- how about… two hundred."

"Reading other people's mail is a federal offense" Logan cried but got down on the ground anyway, "why can't you be a normal parent and just ground me?" he muttered to the ground.

"I AM grounding you," Sargent Mitchell said cheerfully "and until I say you can get up- you're going to kiss the ground two hundred times NOW GET A MOVE ON HORTENSE!"

"Why is he calling him Hortense?" Carlos hissed to James and Sargent Mitchell moved away to circle Logan and critic his apparently sloppy form. James gave a small vicious smile, thinking of his father- who had called Logan and not James and for a small moment he felt bitter. "Hortense is his real name."

The door swung open a walking stack of groceries stumbled in. A set of legs was visible underneath but brown paper bags obscured anything else.

"Boys? Are you there?" Mrs. Knight's voice called out muffled through the groceries. Both Mitchells sprung up and lightened the load until the red headed woman's face was visible. "Thank you Logan," she gave the boy a warm look and then her eyes set on the other man- well his chest. Her eyes had to travel up quite a bit so she could look at his face. "Thank you… sir?"

"Sargent Jonah Mitchell mam," he dipped his head in respect and then eyeballed the three boys on the couch. "BOYS," he boomed and the three boys leapt up off the couch and snapped to attention.

"Go take the groceries into the kitchen for Mrs...?"

Mrs. Knight flushed "Jennifer Knight," he gave her a lopsided smile that was very reminiscent of his son's. "A pleasure," he told her warmly and shook her hand when the boys ran over and freed her hands of the groceries.

"You must be Logan's father," she walked into the apartment and missed Sargent Mitchell scrunching up his nose. "Are you still going by that ridiculous name Hortense?"

Carlos let out a small squeak at the mention of the name, he and Kendall had only been given seconds to giggle at Logan's- no HORTENSE'S name before Sargent Mitchell gave them the stink eye. They hid behind the couch for twenty minuets before Logan told them it was okay to come out.

James elbowed Carlos hard in the side "dude- so not the time."

"How is Logan a ridiculous name" Logan crossed his arms, though the gesture was more reminiscent of a sulky child than angry adult. "It's a girl's name" Sargent Mitchell shook his head in disgust, "it's almost as bad as that blonde kid's name."

"Hey!" Kendall said indignantly suddenly realizing he was 'said' blonde kid "Kendall's not a girl's name!" Mrs. Knight put her hand on his shoulder with a look crossed between amusement and remorse, "ah yes it is honey."

"Logan is a Unisex name dad! Hortense is an awful name!"

"Son!" Sargent Mitchell said scandalized "you were named after a family hero! Where is your family pride?" Logan looked nonplused "it went out the window when you named me after Auntie Hortensia."

"She was a fighter pilot- and why am I defending myself to you? Get back to your push ups you still have one hundred and fifty left!"

Logan sent him a dirty look and sunk to the ground without breaking eye contact.

"Ah Sargent Mitchell?" Mrs. Knight asked returning from reorganizing the mess the boys had made trying to put the groceries away. "Tea?" she held up a delicate china teapot and he smiled nodding at her.

******BTR******

The boys were piled in James and Logan's room trying to peer through the crack in the door. Just outside Sargent and Mr.s Knight were drinking tea out of the china Kendall had bought for his mum's birthday and eating biscuits.

"You can see why I'm concerned," Sargent Mitchell told Mrs. Knight and she nodded in an understanding manner. "Oh certainly I can't imagine how I'd feel if one of MY babies was living with strangers."

"The thought actually hadn't bothered me," Sargent Mitchell admitted and Mrs. Knight raised an eyebrow at him. "I have the utmost confidence that Hortense could adapt to almost any situation. He's more mature and responsible than most of my underlings."

"Than what is it?"

Sargent Mitchell's frown carved out the expression on his face "I am protective of my son Jennifer- I'm not sure being in a... boy band is the best for him. I admit I had come here with the intention of taking him back to Minnesota."

James let out a little 'eep' and both adults turned just in time to see the door slam shut.

"Ergh- why doesn't your room have a lock?" Kendall yelled in frustration, "never mind! Quick, help me barricade the door!"

Carlos was already one step ahead of Kendall, trying in vain to drag James' dresser across the room. James let out another squawk of indignation before Kendall picked him up and added him to the pile of stuff they were using to barricade the door.

"It's no use," Logan moaned in his hands "dad breaks down doors for a living."

"That's quitter talk!"

"What does your dad DO exactly?" Kendall asked spuriously and Logan shrugged "I kinda thought it was obvious he was in the army..."

"Yes, yes but what exactly does he do?... he's not a hit man or in a special task force or something?" Carlos paled and Logan laughed, "don't be ridiculous dad hasn't had anything to do with the Special Forces in years- he's a drill sergeant."

"MORE STUFF FOR THE BARRICADE!"

"James, … are you okay?" Logan asked quietly, leaning against the wall while James let the two distraught boys stack furniture on top of him.

"Your dad came to visit you," James said in a faint voice "he wants to take you away from me."

Logan leaned over and stroked the side of James' hair "I'm not going anywhere- have you not seen the barricade?" Logan said lightly and James moved his arm lightening fast so that he had a firm grip on the hand Logan had been using to touch his hair with, "seen it?" James said with a bare smile "I'm APART of it!"

"Yes you make a wonderful piece of furniture," Kendall sniggered dumping a chest at James' feet.

"You know what I've noticed" Kendall told them while piling several heavy medical books into James' lap, "besides the fact that your name is Hortense- don't think I have forgotten I'm just saving it for a time when I'm not creating a barricade so I have the appropriate amount of time to mock you."

Carlos threw a book at Kendall "get to the point- I like the name Hortense Logan" he gave him a watery smile "I don't want you to go!" he wailed and launched himself at the boy.

James shot Carlos an annoyed look and turned to Kendall "what did you notice?" James hoped it would be something that would prevent Sargent Mitchell from taking Logan away.

"Logan's dad talks funny!" he exclaimed like it was some new awesome revelation. Carlos pulled himself away from Logan to nod solemnly "yeah it's all drawn and weird."

"He's Texan you morons" James snapped and both boys chorused "Ohhh" which only made him glare at them harder. "Wait- then why isn't Logie Texan?"

"I AM Texan- I distinctly remember telling you when we first met" Logan crossed his arms. Kendall shrugged "I assumed you were joking," Carlos scratched his head and his face lit up "is that why Logan makes his words get longer when he speaks to his dad."

Logan blushed "I revert a little when my dad is around- sue me." James patted his head fondly "I like it" Logan snorted and flicked James' hand away, "really? Cause I distinctly remember YOU being the one who wanted me to loose it when I moved from-"

The door suddenly burst open knocking James (and an unfortunate amount of other stuff) into Logan's arms. Knocking him clean off to his feet. "Hortense" he boomed and looked around wildly until his eyes fell onto his son and the taller boy who way lying on top of him. He bent down a picked both boys up by their shirts, lifting and placing them on their feet.

"No time to be dallying" he scolded but his voice was lighter, he looked around the room and surveyed the room. He raised his eyebrow "Hortense I thought I taught you better than to leave a room like this."

Logan sighed and helped James brush the dirt of his shirt. "Sorry dad" Logan said rather than explain what his band mates... well maybe former band mates, were doing.

"Never mind that- Jennifer has been telling me all about your little band." his smile waned a little, "I can't say I approve of you being in a boy band but if you're going to stay in California I need to hear about it."

"Logan can stay?" Kendall jumped up wrapping his arms around the back of the smaller boy pulling him close. Logan squirmed at the sudden contact and Sargent Mitchell glowered and yanked Logan out of his grip. "If he can prove to me by the end of the week that he can still achieve his goals here- I don't see why not."

James launched himself at Sargent Mitchell, wrapping his arms around his middle. "Thank you Sargent Mitchell" he told him quietly and the older man ruffled his hair. "Of course James- I'd never separate you two if I didn't have to."

James grinned up and him and Logan pulled him back so he would be standing next to him. Sargent Mitchell threw an arm over each boys shoulder and steered them out of the room, "you better still be doing well in school- that counts double for you James!"

"Aw Sargent Mitchell," James whined but ducked his head with an embarrassed smile.

Carlos nudged Kendall and muttered "are you SURE they're not brothers?" Kendall shrugged and eyed them curiously before following them out to the land-room.

******BTR******

Logan had always been a good dancer; it was the thing that had been his saving grace when he auditioned.

Though why he was suddenly ten times better when his dad watched him was unnerving.

Dancing or singing in front of his parents had always made James fumble. It made Kendall's palms go sweaty and Carlos could never remember the words but with Logan it was different.

Logan had never been afraid of his dad- he had never suspected there was anything particular odd about how he expressed his affection until he met the very openly affectionate Mr. Garcia.

Sargent Mitchell never expected more of him than Logan could give- but he always insisted he push himself in whatever area he choose.

When Logan had shown an aptitude for backflips he signed him up for gymnastics, (and James- as he had correctly guessed that he wouldn't want to do such an activity on his own. So he had browbeaten Mr. Diamond until he agreed.) He had also bought him his first chemistry set after he and James had gotten into an argument over whether you could travel back in time when they were eleven. He had explained the scientific method and sparked Logan's love of science.

He was actually the one who encouraged Logan to be a doctor and Logan took his opinion more seriously than almost anyone's, (except maybe James'.)

Sargent Mitchell didn't think Logan wanted to be a pop star. He didn't think he wanted it badly enough.

Logan was going to prove him wrong.

"STOP STOP!" Gustavo screamed and glared at the boys "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?"

Kendall and Carlos had taken a... negative response to Sargent Mitchell presence and were tripping over their feet.

"I'VE SEEN CHIMPANZEES DANCE BETTER THAN THIS!"

"You can't compare us to dancing chimpanzees," Kendall argued smartly "they've spent there whole lives training- we haven't even been doing this two months!"

"WAYNE" Gustavo screamed and rubbed his temples, the dark haired boy popped up from nowhere. "Yes boss?"

Gustavo let out a small scream "don't," he waved his hands spastically "DO that!" Wallace raised his eyebrows in amusement and quirked his lip, "the boys- mostly KENDALL need boy band lessons."

"What did I do?" Kendall whined and collapsed to the ground in an angry protest. "YOUR FACE WAS ANNOYING ME!"

"He can't force me" Kendall glared up at Wallace, dislike painted across his face. Wallace smirked "maybe not" he clicked his fingers and three big guys in White tracksuits popped up out of nowhere behind him. "But my posse can."

"What could you possibly need a posse for?" James asked in amusement and Wayne gave him a large grin, "every bad boy needs a posse."

"But you're not our bad boy" Carlos pointed out in confusion, Wayne nodded "They're for Kendall once he learns how to be a bad boy."

"They're people Wallace, you can't just give Kendall people- that's against the law" Logan pointed out.

"They're hired Logan" Wallace rolled his eyes "and for now I have them so I can get Kendall to do what I say."

Kendall let out a disbelieving snort and set his eyebrows high on his face in some sort of challenge.

Wallace clicked his fingers and the three men launched forward picking the blonde clear off the ground. "What? PUT ME DOWN!"

"Come on boys" Wallace motioned "I think we should practice our bad boy poses."

"WHAT? NOO! LOGIE HELP ME!"

Logan just snorted and rolled his eyes, turning to his dad and ignoring Kendall as he was dragged off by a mob of white. Carlos trailed after them with a concerned look on his face and Logan trusted the Latino boy to sort it out.

"Did you like the song?" He asked hopefully, Sargent Mitchell gave a small shrug "it sounded vaguely familiar."

"WHAT?" Gustavo screeched, "A Gustavo Rocque original is a ONE OF A KIND MASTERPIECE!" Sargent turned and gave Gustavo one of his full forced Drill Sargent glares. "Excuse me" he said quietly and filled Gustavo with something that brought a level of fear in him that he didn't think was possible. "What did you say to me?"

"Nothing" Kelly squeaked out next to Gustavo, she grabbed Gustavo and pulled him back "you know sir, we really should be monitoring Kendall's progress."

"Right," Gustavo nodded harshly and turned to his two remaining band members "half an hours break." He gave them a slightly menacing look and waggled a finger "and not a second more" before practically running out of the room, pushing Kelly in front of him like a human shield.

"Wow Sargent Mitchell- you really scare him!" James told him brightly and Sargent Mitchell snorted. "I would hope so James- it is my job to scare people."

"You don't scare me," James challenged but it only made Sargent Mitchell laugh harder "oh? And why is that?" James shrugged, "probably when we got the chicken pox in the third grade and you put on puppet shows for us."

Logan covered James' mouth worriedly and hissed, "we're not supposed to talk about that!"

Sargent Mitchell laughed "I think we'll be okay Hortense, I can't imagine that any of my superiors live in California. I'm sure we won't be over heard."

Logan pouted and crossed his arms when his dad and James broke into laughter. Sargent Mitchell slung his arm over Logan and kissed the side of his head, "Aw don't be sad Hortense."

James watched them and something crossed his face as he stood up suddenly. "Ah I think I'm going to go grab something to eat" and took off.

"James" Sargent Mitchell called after him, with no effect. He sighed, "I was going to take you two out to lunch."

"Don't mind him dad" Logan sighed "James is just going through some family trouble right now."

Sargent Mitchell narrowed his eyes in distaste at the mention of James' parents. "What kind of trouble."

Logan sighed and bit his lip "you're not going to like this..."

******BTR******

Sargent Mitchell was gone for the rest of the day and it set Kendall's teeth on edge to find his mum was similarly missing.

"They're not doing anything" Carlos rolled his eyes, his reassuring best friend voice wearing a little thin, "Logan's Dad is married to Logan's Mum."

"The shrew!" Kendall countered in a high voice, smothering himself with a spare pillow on the couch. James dumped a bunch of blankets on the couch and shot Kendall a glare "don't call Mrs. Mitchell that."

"Isn't she?" Kendall asked in faux innocence and James ran his hand down his face in exasperation before letting out a small "… that's not the point…"

"Whatcha doing with the blankets James?" Carlos asked as James dropped a bunch of pillows on his lap, "I'm setting up the fold out couch so Logan and I can sleep out her tonight."

"You're having a sleepover? Without us?" Carlos asked his eyes filled with hurt and James snorted "it's hardly a sleepover- Logan and I sleep in the same room every night, remember?"

"All the more reason WE should have been invited to your little get together," Kendall agreed with Carlos but his tone indicated that he was mostly just teasing. Carlos nodded vigorously until a blanket fell on top of him, after he battled his way free of his blankety prison he came face to face with Logan.

"Don't be upset" Logan told him with a smile "Dad is staying the week to see if California is a 'conductive learning environment.' So James and I decided to give him the room so he could have a bit of privacy- he usually lives in the barracks."

Kendall rubbed his chin thoughtfully and then nodded shortly and Logan gave him a small smile. "I say we camp out with you" Kendall declared suddenly, eyes flicking fast at James until he locked eyes with Logan "make it a band bonding experience."

"You're asking us to sleep together?" Logan asked in amusement and Kendall didn't hesitate in trying to smother the boy with one of his own pillows. He had had it up to here with the two Wisconsin boys finding innuendo in his perfectly innocent suggestions. Like the mockery they had made out of the awesome game he had invented so they could get to know each other.

Kendall cast James another sideways look before smacking Logan a final time with his pillow "you know that's not what I meant."

"I wanna do it" Carlos jumped up excitedly and bolted up to his room to grab the necessary equipment.

James smirked and kicked the other two off the couch so he could pull it out. "I don't mind I guess- though I don't really like the idea that I have to sleep on this couch."

"It's better than the old one" Logan said with a hint of pride and fist bumped Kendall. "Yeah... but it's ORANGE" James complained, Kendall rubbed his neck "how can a colour effect how comfy a couch is?"

"Oh poor sweet naive Kendall" James cooed condescendingly and pat him on the head, "this couch gives me a migraine- it's a fucking eyesore."

"I like the couch" Logan frowned and rearranged his pillow before sitting back down on the now extended couch, laying his legs flat on its new appendage. James rolled his eyes and Logan pulled him down next to him "yeah... YOU would."

Logan sat up in annoyance "what is THAT supposed to mean?" James snorted and laid his head on the pillow, "you have bad taste" he waved lazily at Kendall, who for once hadn't done anything to earn James' distain. "Case and point."

"Dude!" Kendall glared, "what is your problem?"

James sat up and hugged his knees "nothing," he muttered darkly and sent Logan a heated look.

"Are you still mad at me?" Logan asked in a quiet voice and the hurt was evident on his face. Logan hadn't done anything wrong, but that didn't change the fact that James felt betrayed.

They had both grown up knowing they had sort of been stiffed in the parent department. For the most part it was fine because as much as James' father had been emotionally absent, Logan's dad had been physically absent- first to fight wars, then to train boys only a few years older than them.

And James' mother may have belittled him sometimes and got wrapped up in her work to the point of insanity but at least she remembered he existed. At least she always made sure he'd eaten and had gotten home safely- things Mrs. Mitchell had stopped doing for Logan around the time he turned eight.

James had never been jealous of Logan (well not about that anyway) but it was different now because James' dad had called LOGAN when it became evident his mum had forgotten about James. Proving once again that his dad would rather talk to just about anyone else than his own son.

And now Sargent Mitchell was around showering his son with the love and attention he rarely ever got to give him.

James had stopped looking Logan in the eye and Logan stopped being surprised at James' random moments of hostility. Logan hoped it would work itself out.

Carlos bounded back in, armed to the teeth with pillows, blankets and a raggedy old bear Kendall immediately snatched from his hands. "Why do you have Sir Huggington the third?" Kendall glared and held the bear close. Carlos shrugged "What? I thought you couldn't sleep without him."

"Carlos..."

"yes?"

"Shut up."

Logan and James sniggered and James' attempted to poke the bear, but Kendall seemed violently protective of it.

"What's with all the blankets?" Logan asked relieving the smaller boy of some of his heavier items. "You're not going to need em- we'll over heat."

Carlos frowned "yes we will Logie- I want to sleep in the pirate ship blanket fort." James' face lit up "yes!" at the same time Logan said "no."

"Whhhhhhhhy notttttt" Carlos whined and James poked Logan in the side "yeah whhhhhyyyyyy?"

"I don't want dad to see me sleep... in... a..."

Logan was no match for a set of puppy dog eyes- and he was gone at the sight of three sets pleading in his direction.

It was declared almost immediately that while enthusiastic, James wasn't very good at making anything out of blankets. Logan had been all too aware- it would take them hours to construct the simplest of forts when they were younger because James was always getting caught between the sheets somehow.

A pirate ship was impossible but Carlos had managed to keep James busy enough that Logan and Kendall could construct a pretty decent castle blanket fort and all was well.

"Do you remember when we were twelve?" Kendall asked Carlos stretching out on the darkened couch gleefully. "At my birthday party with the bouncy castle fort?" Carlos asked with a wide grin.

"Wait, wait" James waved his arms and knocked into Kendall; who had been lying next to him. "I thought you two didn't become friends until you were thirteen!"

"Yeah but we KNEW each other" Kendall waved at him lazily. Logan rolled onto his stomach and leaned on the palms of his hands. "What was Kendall like when he was younger? Did he have the caveman eyebrows back then?"

"Nah- that was puberty's fault" Carlos snickered and pulled out his wallet and thumbed through it "but he had the cutest- Ah! Here it is!" Carlos pulled out a small worn photograph and handed it to Logan.

"We're fourteen there- it's our middle school graduation."

Logan studied the two familiar faces in unfamiliar bodies, Kendall's eyes were still the same piercing green they'd always been but his grin was a little tight and uncomfortable.

Carlos and Kendall were the same height, which was a little weird to look at and Carlos' hair sat long around his ears, and his ears were a little to big for the rest of his face. They both had certainly grown into their looks.

"Aw- you two are adorkable" James sniggered; he rested his chin on Logan's shoulder to see. Kendall snatched the picture from Logan's hand but the damage had evidently been done.

"Kendall! Ha, ha, ha you had a mullet?"

"It wasn't a mullet- it was a party up the front too" Kendall clutched the picture close to his chest. James let an insane grin mare his face "oh this is priceless!"

A devious look crossed Logan's face and he raced out of the fort "wait" Kendall called "where are you going?"

Logan returned holding his laptop "you know I thought it was odd you wouldn't let me friend your mum on Facebook... but I think I just worked it out."

A look of horror crossed Kendall's face which he then tried to shrug off "w-why would you want to be 'friend's' with my mum?"

"Why wouldn't I want to be friends with your mum?" Logan raised his eyebrow and Carlos nudged him in support "she IS a very cool lady."

"I assume you have a point with the laptop right?" James prompted with a grin; Kendall was already sweating.

"Yeah well... Carlos is still logged in from when he last used my laptop, and he IS friends with Mrs Knight."

He pulled up the page "just LOOK at her pictures!"

"Oh my God! Baby Kendall" James snatched the laptop from Logan's lap "and awkward growth spurt Kendall! Oh my god it's like Christmas!"

"Damn my sentimental mother" Kendall groaned into his hands as the two Wisconsin boys systematically went through every picture that catalogued his childhood.

"Aw now here's Carlos" Logan grinned, pointing at the small preteen who was smiling so widely his eyes were almost completely closed standing next to a preteen Kendall.

"So how did you two become friends?" Logan asked "you guys knew each other for years beforehand right?"

"We were on the same peewee hockey team," Kendall explained stealing the laptop back. "I accidentally broke his arm on our very first scrimmage and coach said I had to find someone my own size to be partners with."

"I got stuck with one of the Camerelli twins," Carlos scrunched up his nose in disgust "they predictably dropped out to be figure skaters."

"Oh cool" James said and the boys glared at him "no James, not 'cool'- figure skaters are the most awful people ever." Kendall scolded "and they left me partnerless for practicing basic skills halfway through the season!" Carlos added grumpily.

"So we never really spoke- but when we were thirteen there was this special on the news about kids repeating dangerous stunts on this show and they were trying to get it banned."

"Particularly two stupid kids who almost killed themselves trying to sled off a roof" Carlos added. Logan let out a hollow laugh "and let me guess... you were those two stupid kids?"

"Don't be ridiculous Logie," Kendall scoffed "we both saw the news show of said stupid kids and thought it would be wicked- so we both individually went up to the roof of the school the next day."

James and Logan face palmed, they were even stupider than they both initially thought.

"We got into a massive fight about who would go first- so we ended up going down together!" Carlos exclaimed seeming proud of their compromising skills.

"How many bones did you break?"

"I broke my hand in three places" Kendall said with a smirk "and Carlos fractured his leg- we were both benched for the rest of the season and became best friends."

"The end!" Carlos finished happily and patted Kendall on the hand affectionately.

"Aw that's sweet" James said in mock sincerity "now who wants to see more of Kendall's baby pictures?" Logan's hand shot up almost wrecking their fort "oh me! I do!"

"You can't do that without the laptop" Kendall said smugly and looked down realising he didn't actually have the laptop. He looked back up and saw the laptop in James' lap and the two boys were giggling and pointing.

Crap.

******BTR******

Sargent Mitchell strode back into the apartment well after dinner and the fort was mostly in shambles. The four boys were passed out in an unorganized pile on top of the blankets.

Sargent Mitchell wasn't sure what to think of his son's new friends- only that he'd have to put them through their paces before he gave any kind of blessing to Hortense. He remembered when his son introduced him to James- the boy had been desperate to win his approval and hadn't even complain about the obstacle course.

It would have to be redesigned for Kendall and Carlos of course- he had made the original course for a six year old and Hortense hadn't brought home a new friend since then.

Sargent Mitchell was unbearably fond on his son's best friend- the boy who he was sure saved Hortense from a life of social awkwardness and loneliness. Sargent Mitchell was aware that his job prevented him from being apart of his son's life 90% of the time, and his wife had been emotionally checked out since Hortense had been born, due to the incredibly painful circumstances revolving around Hortense's first year of life.

So Sargent Mitchell always felt he had owed James something of a debt.

James had been the only good thing about his life for years, he was the only one that managed to love him and be around to love him at the same time.

It was that feeling that had inspired his following actions.

Jennifer Knight walked in shortly after and spotted her boys immediately. They were piled up on the couch like a bunch of sleeping puppies and she couldn't help but coo at the sight of them.

She had spent the day with Sargent Mitchell on an odd request- she liked getting to know the serious man. It made her one step closer to understanding James and Logan: whom her feelings for had turned surprisingly motherly very fast.

The mission he had sent her on was strange, and actually sent her into a tailspin.

Find Brooke Diamond.

Logan was the first to wake up to find three adults watching them. He shot up and disrupted everybody else, realising too late that he probably should have continued to pretend to be asleep.

Brooke Diamond was a vision. She always had been- and before life had taught him better, Logan had assumed she was the perfect woman.

She was a fierce woman who had built her company- Diamond cosmetics up from nothing. The company meant everything to her- it was her baby. That's probably why she occasionally forgot about her other baby…

She was world worn and knew the only way to get what you want was to demand it and not take no for an answer- and she never had.

He wasn't sure how his dad had managed to get Brooke Diamond to come, but seeing James face and the way she scoped him up into her arms… Logan wasn't sure it was a good thing.

"MUM?" James squeaked and rushed into her arms, "hello darling" she responded with what might be a warm smile. "I was in town."

"I heard."

"I wanted to see you- you know I've missed you," she told him and he nodded, he was sure it was true. When she stopped thinking about work the only other thought that consumed her mind was James. It was just that she rarely wasn't thinking about work.

"I've cancelled all my meetings this week" she told him with a sharp nod and he gaped "of course I'll be staying here- Jennifer show me where to put my bags."

"Staying here? I'd love to have you, but it's already-" Jennifer squeaked but Ms Diamond cut over her like diamond into glass. "Of course, how else am I meant to spend time with my son? You understand Jennifer- you get to see your son and MY son every day."

"You can stay in Kendall and Carlos' room" Logan stood up and picked up the bags "they were going to sleep on the couch tonight anyway."

"I suppose it'll have to do- then first thing tomorrow I'll book a room and James and I will stay there for the rest of the week."

"The- the week?" Logan's voice wobbled and Ms Diamond beared her teeth in what might pass as a smile at him. "Of course Logan, I need a week at least to see if James is wasting his time here- anything less would be an improper analysis."

"And you came to spend time with James too right?" Logan prompted and Ms Diamond's smile morphed into something a little softer "that's the only thing I plan to do."

Kendall and Carlos shared a look between them; something told them this next week was not going to be a fun one.

**Please read and review**


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's note: thanks for all the reviews; they always brighten up may day! We have more Logan's dad military references- some of which were inspired by HalfJillHalfJack's wonderful story There's no place like home. Shout out to Magiccatprincess who gave some excellent suggestions for this chapter and really got me moving thinking about the plot- so thank you :)**

Logan woke up uncomfortable, overheated and face-to-face with James Diamond. Logan jerked himself awake and silently tried to give James some space, and almost completely ran into Carlos who was laid out on the other side of him.

Then memories flooded back. His dad. JAMES' mum! Getting booted from their respected rooms and the impending hellfire that would soon be raining down on all of them with the two forces of nature trying to co-exist in the same zip-code.

"Logie," Kendall whispered from the other side of James, sitting up slightly so Logan could see a tuft of blonde hair. "Yeah Ken?" Logan replied in a startlingly raw and tired voice, Kendall sat up so Logan could see him clearer.

"Is this going to be bad?"

"Oh, it's going to be worse" a voice behind them boomed, and they turned in time to see Sargent Mitchell holding Logan's much loved trumpet like a weapon. He put the instrument to his lips and...

Instant wake up call.

"AH!" Carlos yelped, flailed and fell out of the make shift bed while James shot up like a particularly wary deer. A door slammed open and a haggard looking Katie stormed out with a deranged expression on her face.

She stormed up to the elder Mitchell and pulled the trumpet out of his hands, throwing it in Logan's direction. Logan caught it out of the air deftly and hugged it closely to his chest.

She motioned at him with her finger and he bent down until they were eye to eye. "Mr. Mitchell" she said in her most business like voice, "Sargent Mitchell" James corrected unthinkingly and Katie glared furiously.

"SARGENT Mitchell," she corrected with a fierce look "my mother is a... delicate woman in the early hours of the morning."

"It's seven" he replied incredulously "I let them have a lie in." Katie narrowed her eyes "yes well-"

Logan jumped up "gee dad's right! We did sleep in! Hey Katie- how about you help me make some waffles?"

A conflicted look crossed Katie's face and she let go of the older man's lapels. She skipped over to Logan and he took her hand leading her safely away before his dad got cross with her. Experience with his dad suggested that the man didn't have any tolerance for smartalecky ten year olds (it was the year he switched from punishing Logan normally to drill Sargent style.)

"That your sister?" Sargent Mitchell asked without it sounding like a question in Kendall's direction, and Kendall nodded. Katie and Sargent Mitchell had missed each other yesterday as she had been out scamming and causing general shenanigans (and then had dinner at Tyler's- some redheaded minion she had picked up at some point.)

"She acts like you," Sargent Mitchell sneered and followed after Logan.

"What did I do?" Kendall demanded still a little dazed, Carlos shrugged "you and Katie do share a pool of similar characteristics…" Kendall raised his eyebrow at Carlos advanced vocabulary considering the time, Carlos blushed under his stare. "Logan and I talked about some of your similarities once or twice."

"You both hang off Logan like those little connector monkeys I had when I was younger" James added and Kendall sneered at him. "You played with monkeys-in-a-barrel?" James frowned and rubbed his chin "in a barrel? I don't think so- mum knew I was fond of them so she bought me enough to fill one of my toy chests.

"One"

"Of your"

"Toy chests?" Carlos and Kendall finished in horrified harmony, and James shrugged "I like stuff- sue me."

Logan ran back in the room with a slightly fearful look on his face "dad is cooking." James jumped up immediately "what? WHY! I passed that test there is no take backs!"

"It's not for YOU James" Logan cast a meaningful glance at Kendall and Carlos, suddenly Logan's hand shot out and grabbed Carlos. "I CALL CARLOS!"

"WHAT? NO! He was going to help me show mum around the city today!" James grabbed his free armed and gave it a mighty pull, and Carlos almost careened into James. Logan caught his hand just in time pulling him until he was fully in his arms "too bad. Dad hates Kendall- no offense Kendall."

"None taken" Kendall said with slight amusement and pulled out a bowl of popcorn from nowhere so he could fully enjoy the show. "This would be better if I had a sodie…" Kendall frowned and suddenly a can of coke was placed in his hand, he looked up to find Katie in front of him with her own can. "Budge up big bro- I have to see how this goes down." She flopped down on the couch next to him and he handed her the bowl.

"Well I can't take Kendall! Have you SEEN him? It'll be a disaster!"

Well that kind of hurt…

"He was talking about your personality not your appearance" Logan assured him and Kendall nodded with a grin "oh… well that's fine then."

"Face it James I NEED Carlos more!" Logan pulled Carlos behind him and James growled at him.

"Okay break it up!" Carlos decided to speak up, "don't I have a say in this?"

"NO!"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

"I think that's a no from all fronts then buddy," Kendall laughed and then the laughter died down when Mrs Diamond sashayed into the room. She was part beautiful, part intimidating and all parts terrifying.

"James honey- we're leaving in an hour… shouldn't you do something about your clothes?"

James looked down at the pristine clothes he had taken hours to carefully select and dark o'clock earlier that morning before passing out on the couch bed again. "Um right of course mum."

"And find something for your blonde friend… I won't be seen in public with a Smallville reject." And with that she glided back out of the room.

"Well… that's decided."

"Kendall, I think it's time I introduced you to my closet" James grinned evilly and grabbed Kendall's wrist. "What? NO! KATIE HELP ME!"

"You're on your own bro."

******BTR******

Mrs. Diamond was particularly vicious in actual person and Kendall was starting to doubt that she even WAS an Avon lady. She certainly didn't dress the part. Or speak the part. Or generally act the part. Kendall hadn't been given enough actual time to ponder the thought because Mrs. Diamond had him by the accursed skinny tie that hung around his neck.

He knew he shouldn't have let James pressgang him into wearing his trendy cast offs just so he could meet his mother. He didn't dress up this much for his OWN mother on special occasions- hell when his old girlfriend made him met her mother he had worn jeans!

"Oh I know EXACTLY where you can take me first Jamie" Mrs. Diamond beamed and sped up forcing Kendall to speed up as well… or be choked. "Where mum?" James asked with a genuine tone of interest; 'he must be a good son' Kendall thought bitterly, 'too bad he's a shit friend.'

That bastard hadn't looked back at Kendall once since his mother had gotten an iron grip on the useless accessory hanging around his neck.

"Why the beauty parlor of course," she smirked and shot Kendall a look "James has said wonderful things about 'John-Luke's' but I don't suppose YOU know anything about that."

"Beauty parlor?" Kendall squeaked and almost tripped over himself as he tried to pull away, to no avail. "Of course" Mrs. Diamond rolled her eyes "really boy- you ARE aware of your appearance yes? You own a mirror of some sort?"

"That's what I thought!" James agreed brightly ignoring Kendall's noises of protest, "but he actually LIKES the way he looks!"

"No?" She gasped like she had heard a particularly funny joke and she stepped towards the curb. About four taxis immediately pulled over for her (which Kendall found both impressive and terrifying.)

But Mrs. Diamond ignored the impending pile up she had somehow created by simply existing. She stuck out her hand and a limo rolled up. "D-don't you usually have to ORDER a service like that?" Kendall hissed at James as the stretched limo rolled to a stop in front of them.

"Not for mum," James shrugged and opened the door for his mother.

"Thank you James," she told him in a way that implied she wasn't all that grateful and she expected that kind of behaviour from him. Mrs. Diamond had finally let Kendall go so she could gracefully enter the limo. Kendall geared himself to run from this Diamond related nightmare when Mrs. Diamond's voice cut through the quiet.

"Knight" she barked, "come sit next to me. There is much I wish to discuss with you."

Kendall shot James a fearful look but he just shrugged in a wholly unsympathetic manner and a hand loomed out from the bowels of the limo. It grasped tightly on Kendall's lapels and pulled him into the darkness.

By the time they arrived at John-Luke's Kendall stumbled out of the limo traumatized and planning any means of escape.

"Knight" Mrs. Diamond called in her sickly sweet tone and Kendall opened the limo and took one of her hands, helping her up.

Kendall had never held much hope for the LA bus system, but he was willing to rethink the matter if it ensured he wouldn't have to get back in THAT limo.

Mrs. Diamond paid the driver an undisclosed amount that appeared to be, according to Kendall's untrained eye look like... well. A lot.

"Now Kendall... I'm not particularly fond of your... what are you kids calling it? The bieber cut? It's amazing how people recycle fashion" she scowled wiping dirt off her vintage power blazer circa 1986.

"Mum I don't think it's a good idea to mess with Kendall's hair... I don't think Mrs. Knig-"

"Did I ask for your opinion?"

Her tone didn't shift, her pitch didn't raise or fall but James shrunk back never the less (and Kendall didn't blame him.)

"and you could use a haircut too son, it's getting ridiculously feathered at the sides. You're starting to look like Farrah Fowcett."

James and Kendall gasped in unison and James petted his bangs fearfully.

"Wait, wait NOBODY talks about James' hair that way!" Kendall fumed on behalf of his friend, James' eyes went comically wide like a cartoon wolf and he muttered "Kendall- wait-"

"Alright fine," Kendall corrected himself "NOBODY talks to my friend that way! So HE and WE are not getting your STUPID haircuts!"

"Kendall don't," James warned but it was far too late and Mrs. Diamond was already looming over them like a giant looming thing.

"Nobody speaks to me like that," she told him in the same even voice she was fond of using.

There was something indescribable radiating off her, Kendall flinched despite himself and caught sight of James. 6'2, muscle bound James was cowering like a little girl and trying to find a way to protect all the vulnerable areas of his body, he was prepared for any sudden attack.

"This is going to hurt isn't it?"

"Oh yeah," James gritted his teeth "it was a nice thought though... standing up for me."

An imposing shadow fell over them.

"Don't mention it... no really" Kendall told him pale face "especially don't mention this next part."

They both threw their hands over they're faces and screamed like little girls.

Mrs. Diamond raised her eyebrow and grabbed an ear of each boy, "you two will LOVE your fabulous new haircuts."

******BTR******

"Your dad is trying to KILL me!" Carlos groaned and Logan patted him on the back "there there Litos- just finish this last bit and we'll stop for a break okay?"

"Okay" Carlos muffled and stuffed the last of his breakfast sausage and egg sandwich in his mouth. "Wimp" Katie snorted, dabbing at her mouth delicately with a napkin. "You're a teenage boy! What self respecting teenage boy can't finish breakfast?"

"I had to eat twice as much as you!"

The amount of breakfast given was in correlation to your weight class- if you do not finish your food you will not make it through the day!" Sargent Mitchell barked, clearly switched into his drill Sargent mode.

"What could I possibly need ALL this energy for?"

"Friend boot camp?" Logan asked with a winced, "friend boot camp" Sargent Mitchell confirmed with a grin.

"Dad no! This is why until I was sixteen I only ever had one friend!" Logan whined and banged his head miserably on the table. "Yes- and he's still your friend because we found out right off the bat whether he was worthy enough."

"Why does Katie need to do it?" Logan questioned and eyed the smaller girl who had at some point left the table, gotten changed into camouflage gear and returned.

"She has expressed a desire to court you."

"She's ten!" Carlos practically yelped, he couldn't figure out which Mitchell he should be staring at in horror. "A suitor is still a suitor," Sargent Mitchell said with a certain amount of glee.

"After the spring elementary school dance debacle girls used to run in the other direction when they saw me."

"But you had a girlfriend" Carols argued, Carlos remembered because she had sounded all sorts of crazy. "She cheated the system" Logan shrugged "I didn't want to argue," Sargent Mitchell shrugged "her mother is a superior officer."

"She was also insane," he whispered to Carlos and then moved before Logan could hit him.

"So... crazy girls know how to pass this boot camp thing? That explains SO much about your interest in Cam- I mean certain TYPES of women."

Carlos made a mental note to text Camille and tell her to stay far, far away. If anyone could take this stupid test it was probably her... but Carlos wouldn't wish that kind of breakfast he'd just had on criminals... or starving people... in Africa.

"So when do we start?" Carlos asked clapping his hands together, and then almost fell out of his chair when a twenty kg backpack was flung in his direction.

"Immediately- Hortense go get the medicine balls, I'll get the skipping ropes and we'll meet at the park at 0834 hours."

"There isn't 800 hours in a day- I don't think there are nearly that many," Carlos told him in his most helpful voice. Sargent Mitchell glowered at him and stormed off.

"He meant eight thirty four you moron," Katie told him with a snicker.

"ohhhh! Hey Sargent Mitchell wait up! You don't have to make Logan get any medicine balls- I don't even feel sick!"

Logan rubbed his temples as his friend ran after his dad before turning towards Katie. "You're not really trying to court me right? Cuz I thought when we had that talk-"

"Oh relax Logan" Katie rolled her eyes "your dad seemed cool and I was bored."

Logan sighed and nodded, suddenly a thought dawned on him and he narrowed his eyes "okay now the REAL reason."

"I see you've fine-tuned your bullshit detector," Katie rolled her eyes and Logan wrinkled his nose "don't say bullshit Katie, you're a lady."

"How did I EVER find you attractive?"

Logan shot her a lopsided smile and she glared at him, "okay NOW I remember" she muttered begrudgingly.

"Sooo the real reason?"

She pulled out a now familiar yellow legal pad. Katie was predictable the same way Kendall could be- they always had something up their sleeve.

And Logan could smell scam.

"I've got a bet going that Carlos won't make it past the obstacle course."

"How could you know what the course contains? Only people who have-" Katie threw a phone at Logan, which he just managed to catch... It was HIS phone.

"I was talking to Lenore, I was DYING to find out how she cheated a military design course."

"Lenore can do anything" Logan said warily and scrolled over to her name and deleted the name out of his phone. He didn't want Katie and Lenore becoming *shudder* friends.

"She an interesting chick- I've never seen one girl straddle the line between psychopath and genius so closely. She'll either be president of well... everything or in a White padded cell."

"She's not that bad," Logan told her honestly and Katie shook her head "you should tell her you met someone else."

"I haven't-"

"Maybe you haven't admitted it to yourself- but sooner or later your going to want to see other people. Let her know now."

"Oh look it's eight twenty five! We only have nine minuets to get to the park! I've got to get those medicine balls! Gottago!"

"Chicken."

******BTR******

"I think I actually like my hair better now" James beamed and preened in front of his hand mirror, "how'd you know?" he beamed at his mother, she smirked at him and pinched his cheek "mummy does know best Jamie dearest."

"Like she KNOWS when to visit her son, right Brooke?" Kendall sneered; he had pulled the hood of his jacket up to hide his HORRENDOUS haircut and jammed his hands deep into his pockets. Mrs. Diamond sent him a warning glare and Kendall shrunk back in fear, he should know better NOW than to backchat Brooke Diamond- especially after the unspeakable horrors that occurred in the beauty salon.

"What do you want to do now?" James asked hopefully and Mrs. Diamond shrugged "shopping I suppose-"

A grin broke out over James' face, "oh good! I need some new Cuda products- the new limited addition ice freeze man spray is out. Plus I NEED to get Logan a new shirt- he's convinced it okay to wear... erg sweater vests."

"Well that just won't do" Mrs. Diamond told her son in a teasing tone. She raised her hand and a limo pulled up in front of them, "how DOES she do that," Kendall hissed at James who shrugged "she's always been able to stop traffic- I always thought it was a mum thing."

"It's not" Kendall assured him, "mum's bake pies... and drive you to hockey practice and... and fold your laundry! They don't DO this."

"Maybe your mum does that stuff, but my mum runs a company... she does what she can, when she can. It'd be ridiculous to ask for more."

'No it wouldn't' Kendall thought to himself, but was smart enough not say it out loud. "... Wait your mum OWNS a company?"

James rolled his eyes and pushed Kendall into the limo then pulled a magazine out of nowhere and flicked to a seemly random page. Kendall took the magazine from him and loomed at the page.

He found Mrs. Diamond's pleasant face staring up at him. "Okay... what the hell."

"CEO and founder of Diamond cosmetics- she's considered the Este Lauderdale of the Midwest."

"What does your dad do?" Kendall asked in aw, James shrugged "sleep with girls in their twenties mostly... oh and he owns a small franchise of music stores- the Diamond note stores."

"Your dad OWNS those? We have one of those where I used to live!"

James scrunched his nose up, "dad built a store in Minnesota?" Kendall elbowed him "but wait... so you're parents are divorced right."

"Shhh" James covered his mouth eyeing where his mum was telling the driver how to be better at her job. "They only speak through their lawyers now- I'm not supposed to acknowledge his existence when my mum is in a twenty mile radius."

"Twenty miles? Wow your dad must have moved well away from her then!" Kendall exclaimed and James shook his head "nah- they actually only live 3 streets apart... It was kinda of awkward when I'd visit him on weekends."

"We're here," the limo driver told them kindly and Mrs. Diamond rolled her eyes "if we had taken MY directions, we would have been here sooner."

"Thank you mam" James told her as soon as his mum had left the vehicle and placed a small sum into her hand- presumably to cover the tip the huffy Mrs. Diamond certainly didn't leave.

"Traffic should stop for YOU," Kendall mused and pushed him out of the car. "Oh it does" James replied smugly and Kendall snorted and punched the boy playfully in the arm.

Shopping was difficult and exhausting with just ONE Diamond. But two was a certified nightmare.

"Kendall do you think Logan would like this?"

"Kendall what do you think of my shoes?"

"Kendall, hold my bag"

"Kendall- are you listening to me?"

And that was before you added the shopaholic CEO to the equation.

James looked like he was having fun though, so Kendall sucked it up and made sure he didn't start complaining until they were at their twelfth store.

He soon regretted mentioning just how many stores they had been with, when the number actually piped James' interest as well.

"Mum... why exactly ARE we marathon shopping."

"Well, because we need to squeeze in a full weeks worth in two days sweetie."

"Two days? I thought you were here for a week!"

"I wish I could be darling- but as I told... That difficult man your friend calls a father; I simply can't, I have meetings." she patted him on the head, "b-but you said you cleared your schedule for the week..."

"Well wouldn't you know it, it filled right back up again."

Kendall clenched his teeth and didn't say anything; instead he picked up his pace so he was walking next to James.

James was looking down when he felt Kendall slip his hand into his and hold it tight.

"Mum- I want to keep shopping," James suddenly declared and Mrs. Diamond clapped her hands in giddy excitement. "But I think we have to make a stop."

******BTR******

Carlos was running under a net.

He had no desire to crawl under a net. He wasn't particularly good at it. And he really, really wanted to go home.

There was one thing stopping him though.

Logan.

Logan promised they would still be friends even if he didn't pass this stupid test (which apparently Logan could do in under twelve minuets.) but Carlos didn't want to be the reason Sargent Mitchell changed his mind about Logan being in the band.

Who would make him pancakes?

Who would be awful at singing with him? (Although neither one of them were particularly awful anymore.)

And most important who would understand him? He didn't think there was another teenage boy in the world that would understand moving across the country to be in a boy band JUST because their best friend asked them to.

Except for the other person who had.

He looked up through the net to see Logan holding a hose that was spraying water on him. "Looooogie" Carlos whined "why are you spraying me with wwwwaaaahhhter?" Carlos might be crying in frustration but it was hard to tell with all the hose water on his face.

"He's simulating rain" Sargent Mitchell's voice boomed from somewhere Carlos couldn't quite see, "and he will continue to do it until you have completed the course, no matter how much you or HE whinges about it."

"You've been whinging for me Logie?" Carlos asked in an oddly touched tone, Logan went slightly red, "what, nooooo" but his voice was a few debacles higher than normal. Carlos grinned to himself and crawled out of the last of the netted area and into the sun, finally free of the 'rain.'

"FAIL!"

"FAIL?" Logan and Carlos screeched in harmony "but dad he finished the course!" Logan tried to reason, "but he did it poorly" Sargent Mitchell shook his head in disappointment. "Not that I was expecting any better- the boy lacks discipline."

"Why would I want to have discipline for something so stupid!" Carlos shot back without thinking (he was having what he liked to refer to as 'a Kendall moment') Logan winced immediately and Sargent Mitchell went red. "Drop and give me a hundred!"

"A hundred what?" Carlos yelled back panicky, he hoped he didn't mean dollars- the band wasn't making any money yet. He'd never owned that much money at one time in his whole life… hopefully he just wanted buttons.

Damn. Where was Carlos going to get a hundred buttons…?

"MAKE IT TWO HUNDRED SLACKER!"

Where would anyone get two hundred buttons? Does Carlos look like the kind of guy who just had that many buttons hand? Maybe if he owned a button shop…

"Pushups Carlos," Logan hissed and Carlos felt a strong pressure on his back pushing him to the ground "he means pushups!"

"I don't want to be your friend anymore" Carlos said darkly and started his pushups- at least he didn't have to do them on snow without gloves. Something Captain Kendall slave driver Knight had made him do once when he showed up late to hockey practice. The cold air and snow had burnt his hands for two days and he could barely pick up a pencil.

Carlos took great pleasure in explaining to all his teachers that it was KENDALL'S fault that he couldn't finish the assignments. Kendall always told him it was a fair trade. He hated when people showed up late to HIS practices.

"He's actually quite good at those," Sargent mused in amusement "his form is impeccable."

"I was late to hockey practice a lot… I had to pass that pretty garden to get there and I'd totally forget about what I was doing," Carlos explained. The Mitchells shared a look of amused confusion and Carlos fell silent, counting how many pushups he had (a useless effort- he'd get to about twenty and get distracted and have to start all over again.)

"Are you going to stop messing with my friend?" Logan hissed at his dad and the man let out a deep laugh. "Aw don't be a wet blanket Hortense- I like him, I do… he's just SO much fun to mess with."

Logan shot him a disapproving look, "I should NOT have to be the mature one out of the two of us!"

"Fine" He groaned and leaned over and grabbed Carlos around the torso and pulled the boy up with one hand. "Woah" Carlos screeched and then grinned "Dude! You're hella strong! Swing me around? please! Please!"

And that was how Sargent Mitchell ended up playing aeroplane with his son's sixteen-year-old friend.

******BTR******

"No more shopping Jaaahahamessssss!"

Kendall stumbled behind the Diamonds holding enough clothing to sink a small imaginary battleship.

"We're buying you a new wardrobe Kendall- you should be GREATFUL" James smirked and Mrs Diamond sniggered, "dear you certainly find the MOST creative ways to torture your friends."

"Torture? Mother this is a GIFT! The torture will be when I burn all his plaid shirts."

"WHAT?"

"What?" James said innocently "you CAN'T burn my shirts!" Kendall dropped the bags with fury.

"I said no such thing- maybe you hallucinated it… maybe it's a representation of what you WANT to happen… if so I'd be more than happy to-"

"James Diamond you keep your dirty fingers off my shirts!"

"Dirty fingers?" Mrs Diamond picked up James' hand "they better not be after all that money I spent on mani pedis," she admired James' perfectly manicured hand. "Never mind false alarm," she smirked and then raised her eyebrow at Kendall "don't worry Kendall- your nails look just as nice."

"MUM" James yelped in outrage, "they are not! My manicurist was far superior to Kendall's- look at how she did my cuticles" they admired his nails again.

"Kill me now- oh my God!"

"What is it Kendall?" James asked disinterestedly and looked up when Kendall didn't respond. He looked over to where Kendall was transfixed and his mouth fell open in a similar manner.

Carlos was doing jumping jacks, while Logan stood on a chair and sprayed water from a hose down on him.

They were actually gaining quite a crowd.

"So he did include the rain" James muttered gleeful "it's nice to see Sargent Mitchell takes my suggestions into consideration- even the sarcastic ones I made when we were young."

"Oh thank goodness-LOGAN, CARLOS!" Kendall waved franticly at them "SAVE ME FROM THE SHOPPING!"

And then he ran forward leaving all the bags behind, "wait Kendall!" James rushed after him, Mrs Diamond rolled her eyes and stuck out her hand stopping a girl from walking, "you" she stared the young woman down "are now carrying my bags to the limo."

"I-I am?" She stuttered "yes. You are" Mrs Diamond told her bordly, "w-what limo mam?"

Mrs Diamond raised an arm and a limo glided into the road in front of them, "this one of course."

******BTR******

"Guys what are you doing here?" Logan grinned excitedly and Carlos stopped doing jumping jacks and threw himself at Kendall, "Oh great you're here! SAVE ME!"

"It's not that bad Carlos" Logan rolled his eyes, and Carlos shot him a nasty glare "NOT that bad? NOT THAT BAD? You're right it's worse than bad it's… its like school!"

Kendall let out a mock gasp and Carlos groaned and sank to the floor, "I'm ti-i-i-i-ierd." He looked up and Kendall and gave him his most pathetic look, Kendall crossed his arms, "oh don't look at ME like that Carlos Garcia, I've had it WAY worse than you. I've been shopping with James and his mum!"

Logan winced "oh- that is worse."

"Is not," James shot back quickly, "nobody has ever officially passed this test but Lenore and that's only cuz she cheated- it's designed to BREAK PEOPLE!"

"I've been completing this course since I was nine- he hadn't even perfected it when you had to do it… he used Hula-hoops and made us stop for a juice box break!"

"It was still hard!" James insisted shrilly.

"Kendall I will give you a hundred buttons if you switch places with me" Carlos told him seriously, Kendall grinned "done."

Kendall stuck out his hand for his buttons and Carlos slapped it away "they were metaphorical buttons."

Kendall scowled "I hate it when you hang out with Logan for a whole day- you come back with new ways to one up me with words," Kendall pulled Carlos up. "We'll be back in a moment boys-"

Kendall pushed Carlos behind a tree, and they reappeared a second later wearing each other's clothes.

Kendall pulled at his short pants, "gees Carlos could you BE more of a short ass."

"I'm sure I could think of something mean to say in return, but the thought of YOU finishing Sargent Mitchell's boot camp of pain is enough to make me smile."

"Wait boot camp of what?"

"Oh look at the time" Carlos scrambled away from Kendall and latched on to James "James and I have some shopping to do- gottago!"

A limo cut straight through the park and the door opened in front of them "get in" Mrs Diamond demanded, "I am not missing the movie."

"Oh we're going to see a movie?" Carlos cheered excitedly "which one?"

"Along a winding trail of thoughts and emotions" James winced and Carlos' mouth opened and shut in horror "b-but James… that's a CHICK flick!"

"No Carlos it's THE chick flick," Logan snickered and pushed him into the limo "and I'd watch out- Mrs Diamond is a sobber."

They could still hear Carlos' anguished cry long after the limo was out of sight.

"So what's this about a boot camp- you know I only wear vans" Kendall said crossly "no it's- Kendall… did you… get your eyebrows shaped?"

Kendall's hands leapt to his face "don't look! I don't wanna talk about it!" Logan burst into laughter and immediately set to work trying to pry the Blonde's hands from his face. "Come on Ken-doll I just want a little look see…"

"NEVER!"

Logan knocked him to the ground and the struggled "don't be such a baby Kendall, I just want to get a good look at your face."

"Me be the baby? You're the one that can't take no for an answer- haven't you seen the commercials? Americans are saying no to violence!"

"I believe they were saying no to domestic abuse Kendall- they didn't say anything about beating up annoying blond boy banders!"

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

The boys jumped up at the sound of Sargent Mitchell's voice, embarrassed they had been caught doing something as juvenile as wrestling. A smirk crossed Logan's face.

"Carlos had to leave- I brought you new meat."

"EXCELLENT" A similar smirk crossed Sargent Mitchell's face and Kendall was sweating buckets, "now… DROP AND GIVE ME A HUNDRED!"

"A hundred what?" Kendall asked half sarcastically "buttons?"

"MAKE THAT TWO HUNDRED!"

"Where would I possibly find two hundred buttons? That's just crazy talk…"

**Please Read and Review, thank you **


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's note: Yeah so… this chapter has a lot of callbacks and more breaking of the forth wall than I usually do. So um… that's different, any mentions of clones or jetpacks is a reference to a throw away line in the beach episode. Thank you for all the reviews! I passed my 100****th**** review (yay) and am writing a sci-fi like request fic- which I should also update, okay enough rambling. **

"James you are aware that hairspray is a fire hazard?" Logan told him pointedly staring at the hairspray in his hand "plus- it's terrible for the environment."

James' brow furrowed and her stared down at the can in his hand "but- I've used this for YEARS. You've never cared before..."

Logan rolled his eyes "yes I have- I even did my sixth grade science fair project on the environmental factors on different brands of hairspray!"

James hated when Logan decided to drop hints about things instead of telling him forthright. James always missed them and Logan became unbearably bitchy about the whole thing- but if he had been dropping hints since six grade... well that was a lot of patience on Logan's part at the very least.

"Leave it Hortense" Sargent Mitchell laughed, ruffling his sons hair. "It's a solidarity thing- you don't ask him to buy music from a store not owned from his dad do you?"

James flipped the can over in hand so he could trace the Diamond brand- it was the only non-Cuda product he used on his hair.

Logan made a noise somewhere between amused snort and that self righteous 'tchh' he liked to use. James had never been bothered by Logan's obsessive need to be right- but then again the boy had never actively gone after James' hairspray before.

James had never wanted to punch his best friend in the face before in his life. Not once.

Until they started living together that is.

It was odd and uncomfortable for James but it didn't make it any less true.

Logan's laugh was setting his teeth on edge, and the way he twisted loudly in his bed (or couch since Sargent Mitchell was still occupying their room) made him want to smother him.

More importantly he was starting to hate all those little charming thing that made James like him so much. Carlos would fawn over his cooking skills and all James could think is- Logan is so territorial about breakfast. Which is so not cool when all he wanted to do was make scrambled eggs and Logan practically growled at him (okay well maybe not 'growled' but a face was made!) And suddenly Logan knowing everything was just irritating and the way he made this smug little face whenever he knew something no one else did.

James knew he and Logan were spending WAY too much time together and distance would probably be best. Then James could MISS Logan, and think about all the ways Logan was awesome. Instead of all the ways he was a pain in the ass (James should write a poem; oh Logan how you annoy me, let me count the ways...)

The problem was they were living out of each other's pocket since the three month deadline was fast approaching. They sung together, they danced together, they lived together and they hung out together. James didn't want to stop doing any of those things with Logan though (James wondered how many seconds Kendall would need to shoulder his way in.) but he knew something had to give.

They had a very rare half-day, so Logan could say goodbye to his dad (something James didn't get when his mother left abruptly- not that James was bitter or anything.) and James planned to spend it as far away from Logan as possible.

James stood up suddenly and startled the two Mitchells (well as much as one COULD startle Sargent Mitchell- which was not a lot at all...) "I'm gonna go out." he looked around wildly until his eyes rested on his target and he stalked over.

"Come on" James grabbed Kendall's arm and pulled him out the door. "We're going out" he shot the blonde the fiercest look he could manage and dared him to challenge him.

Kendall Knight never did learn to back down from a dare.

"Oh yeah- why's that?"

"I'm going to convince Griffin to let Logan do gymnastics again," James told him quietly but firmly- he didn't want the brunette to hear. He pulled the door open and found Wallace's hand poised to knock.

He jumped back, "um- hi Kendall" he laughed awkwardly and Kendall groaned.

"Why doesn't anyone NICE ever want to hang with me?" Wallace gave the blonde an affronted look and crossed his arms.

"I wouldn't have to be here at all if you would just LISTEN to me!"

"Yeah, yeah Wally your bored and Kendall is a troll" James grabbed Wallace's arm and dragged him to the elevator with Kendall. "I would care more- but I need your acting skills for this plan."

******BTR******

Logan worked out pretty quickly that James had in fact Kendallnapped his friend so they probably WOULDN'T be hanging out today.

Logan's eyes fell on Carlos and a smile slowly spread on his face. Sargent Mitchell smacked him on the back of the head "no more cooking" he demanded "your grandpappy would weep man tears if he saw you in your frock."

"Okay first of all- it's an apron" Logan bristled at his dad.

"It has frills" Sargent Mitchell injected with a raised eyebrow to emphasis his disbelief.

"MANLY frills" Logan told him with a goofy smile "and second of all I wasn't even thinking about cooking- I figured you, Carlos and I could engage in one of your most favourite hobbies."

"Shooting squirrels?"

"Surveillance"

Logan ducked down and appeared back up with his camo gear and a tree hat.

"How did you get changed so quickly?" Sargent Mitchell asked slightly alarmed and Carlos made a similar noise of distress.

"More pressingly... HOW DID WE GET OUT HERE?" Carlos gestured at their surroundings and Sargent Mitchell looked down realised he was standing behind a bush in Palmwoods park.

"I think I have to concur with your little friend Hortense- What. The. Hell."

"It's called a gilligan's cut- but that's not important" Logan pulled them down so they were crouching behind the bush, "we're hunting for wabbits."

Carlos giggled at Logan's terrible imitation of Elmer Fudd before becoming very nervous. "Ah- you don't mean ACTUAL rabbits do you... because we all know I have a weak constitution after you two took me to the shooting range."

"Baby" Sargent Mitchell "they weren't even really geesse!"

"Plus I'm sure it's illegal to shoot stuff in a park..."

Logan covered his mouth and smirked at him "maybe... rabbit was the wrong word..."

He directed Carlos' head, and Carlos suddenly realised the rabbits might have been metaphorical- but the hot girls at the park sure weren't.

"How about" Logan released his hand from Carlos' mouth "be very, very quiet- we're hunting for foxes."

"Awesome."

******BTR******

"I'm still a little worried that you made a plan?" Wallace fidgeted in the taxi's seat and shot Kendall a disbelieving look "but you're not the plan guy!"

"For a reason" Kendall added in annoyance "why do you want Logan to do gymnastics again anyway? I had to hire tiny ninjas to get him to stop! Why are you undoing all my hard work?"

"Cause I'm starting to hate his face" James growled with annoyance and Kendall's eyes widened in mock shock.

"What no way- you guys do EVERYTHING together" he waved his arms in an eggs drafts manner to illustrate his point and Wallace (who barely knew them) nods along like it was hard fact.

"That's my point" James frowned "We'll be fine... once I create a little space. I hate it when he doesn't have anything of his own... he starts little projects."

"I liked it when he organized my apartment for me" Wallace grinned "but I see how that could be a little much as a room mate."

"He alphabetically organized my vans somehow" Kendall added brightly "and this week he's been testing out dishes on Carlos- he'd probably do more but he's dad is keeping him pretty busy... wait that's not why your really irritated with-"

"It's not!" James shrieked in a high unconvincing voice. Kendall snorted and made a gesture to Wallace behind James' back. Wallace let out a small-undignified giggle and clamped his hand over his mouth.

James sent him a searing look but that just seemed to instigate more unwanted sniggering. James threw up his hands in frustration "Whatever- let's just get going to Griffin's office."

Both Wallace and Kendall gaped at him "you want us to go WHERE?"

The taxi screeched to a halt and James pushed the two boys out, and stretched out his arms in a 'show them what they've won Sharon' manner. "Thhhhhaaaat's right- boys welcome to RCMCBT Global Net Sanyoid Corporation American based headquarters!"

"There are like seven headquarters in America- there's one right near Minnesota" Wallace rolled his eyes distinctly unimpressed.

"That is largely irrelevant- also I'm from Wisconsin making that even more irrelevant than you thought" James waved his hand dismissively and purposely ignored Kendall's mutterings about Minnesota being better. The blonde was clearly suffering from early onset dementia and could not be held accountable for the things that came out of his mouth.

Besides he SO didn't have enough time to start a bitch fight with Kendall- even if he WOULD win (naturally.)

James held up a cop outfit he had taken from seemingly out of nowhere and handed it to Wallace, "since I like you better than Kendall YOU can be the cop." Wallace took the outfit with a slightly disturbed look on his face and held it up gingerly with only his fingertips.

"James… did you get this outfit for the plan… or did you already have it?"

The scandalous grin James wore made Wallace chuck it to the ground like it was on fire, "DUDE! I thought you said you liked me!"

"In comparison to KENDALL" James pointed out and Wallace sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. James pulled out another outfit and waved it in front of Kendall's face "THAT'S why Kendall gets to be the sultan- let me tell you, FUNER times were had in the sultan costume!" He threw it at Kendall but Kendall evaded it like he was dodging a bullet.

"Okay NEW plan" Kendall punched James "WALLACE works here- we borrow his ID and go up for legit."

James turned to Wallace to confirm the story- Wallace worked for Griffin? Well that explained a few things… "It's true" Wallace laughed and held up his ID "but my ID badge is not gonna get us up that high- the place is locked up tighter than fort knox."

James had a pensive expression on his face and stroked his chin like he was thinking. This was sort of a big deal for James so Kendall and Wallace leant in, in anticipation. James opened his mouth and the dramatic music swelled and…

"Yep I've got nothing- let's go home."

Kendall and Wallace performed the fabled spontaneous synchronised face palm and Kendall grabbed James' collar as he tried to make his way back to the cab. "I did not come all the way down here to give up!" Kendall growled.

"B-but you didn't even want to do this…" James cried and tried to squirm out of his grip, he had tried the plan/scheme thing- it turned out it was harder than previously anticipated (Kendall did it on a regular basis and following that logic…)

"Well I'm here now" Kendall gave him a sly grin "and I have an idea."

******BTR******

"I'm not sure how comfortable I feel spying on teenage girls," Sargent Mitchell told them sternly. "There are laws against this" he gestured emphatically at the binoculars.

"There's laws against THIS too" Logan gestured cheekily to himself and Carlos "but not in California- God bless the state that doesn't think stalking is a problem." Logan grinned slyly and Sargent Mitchell sighed.

"Then can we focus on the why?"

"I'm going to wingman the crap out of Carlos- James sort of promised to ages ago and I've been so busy..."

"I know James promised but I'm kind of surprised you're doing this for me Logan..." Carlos shot the Texan boy a fond look and the boy shrugged and ducked them deeper behind the shrub.

"You better" he laughed in a low whisper- they really should have been whispering from the start since they were supposed to be surveiling.

"You know this isn't my normal way to pick up girls."

"Then why ARE we doing this?" Carlos asked in confusion, turning away from the park area that the perfectly placed shrub now allowed them to watch undetected.

"We need to find a girl... your speed- right now you're going after girls who are" Logan waved his hand hopelessly trying to find the right word. "Well let's just say your being too ambitious- so for now we'll steer clear of the scary girls."

"Scary girls?"

"You know Sandy, Mandy... The Jennifers... that one girl with the chainsaw-" Logan pointed to a pretty girl in a cute sundress and a mucha lucha style mask, waving around a chainsaw.

"I just have to determine which girl is going to be good enough for you... I don't want to set you up with a weirdo."

"How are you going to work THAT out?" Sargent Mitchell asked his son incredulously, Hortense's dating history didn't seem to indicate he even knew HOW to land a nice sane girl. Not that he could talk- the Mitchell men weren't known for taking the safer road when it came to romantic entanglements.

"Maybe what you need is an EXPERT," a voice purred behind them.

Both boys screamed in a rather undignified manner to find Camille standing behind them. Carlos jumped into Logan's arm and the Texan cleared his throat uncomfortably and dropped him.

Sargent Mitchell smirked, realising that the girl watching them HADN'T been part of their elaborate game but was stalking THEM. Sargent Mitchell could appreciate the irony- not enough that he wouldn't smack the girl down like the hand of God if she went a little two crazy at the boys. But still.

She sent them a bright sunny wave that Carlos returned and Logan hesitantly returned after he'd stopped clutching his chest in a dramatic manner. "C-Camille... how did you find us?"

Camille held up a pair of bedazzled pink binoculars and shrugged, "I'm up for a role in Spy wars- I was watching you two from that bush." she pointed to a bush conveniently placed not too far behind their bush. It was sitting on top of some play equipment- Logan wondered if he should tell her she wasn't being conspicuous with her shrub placement- but he didn't want to encourage her.

"So you're practicing for the role?" Carlos asked excitedly- maybe Camille would want to play spies... and Logan hadn't identified her as one of the crazy girls so maybe he had a shot!

"huh? What? Oh... right the audition..." Camille was staring at Logan with frightening intensity. Carlos sighed- oh well maybe not... Or maybe they could play spies if they spied on Logan together! That sounded fun... though he probably shouldn't tell Logan of those plans.

"Um so... Camille" Logan backed up and gave her a frightened wonky smile that did nothing to deter her in the slightest. "What exactly were you?"

She held up her hand silencing him "oh that's not important Logie" she fluttered her eyelashes at him and Carlos wondered if he should be taking notes on this. He'd never actually seen a girl so forward before- she even had her hand on his knee!

Well okay... not for very long. Man, Sargent Mitchell had some serious reflexes/cockblocking skills when he wanted too!

Camille for her part didn't seem that phased by having her hand slapped away and leaned into Logan's personal space. "So you're trying to get CARLOS a girlfriend right?" her voice had a darker edge and Logan's eyes went wide as Camille's hand was back and her nails dug into his knee.

"Ah what? I mean yeah- I'm not really ready to be in a relationship since-"

"Wait Camille!" Carlos was looking at her like she might hold the sun, "how long have you been watching us?"

"Since you got here..."

"HOW did we get here?" Sargent Mitchell pressed, catching on to Carlos' line of questioning.

"Oh it was cool- like a Gilligan's cut!"

"Okay what the hell is a Gilligan's cut?" Sargent Mitchell asked in annoyance and Camille grinned as she shrugged.

"Okay- so Gilligan's island came to the air in the mid 60s as a plucky underdog of sitcoms- it soon rose to fame but that didn't prevent it's cancelation several years later... it was apparently interfering with the TV station's owner's wife's favourite show."

"I MEANT ABOUT THE CUT PART!" Sargent Mitchell seemed to have dropped the pretense of surveillance and several teens were looking at him worriedly.

"You didn't let me finish" Camille snickered like he was having a great time "the Gillian's cut was a thematic convention when one character would say something like- I'm never doing that or an exclamation that they did. And then it would cut to the situation they were talking about."

Sargent Mitchell's vein throbbed on his head "yes..." he said slowly "but how would you do that in real life?"

"Well you..." Camille's face dropped and she looked thoughtfully "actually I have no idea- Logie how did you..."

"I think I found her!" Logan cried excitedly handing his binoculars to Carlos and pointing.

"Does this mean I can be part of the team?"

Logan handed Camille a pink tree hat and she put it on happily.

"Now WHEN did you get that?" Sargent Mitchell asked exasperatedly and Camille stroked her chin with a perverted smile.

"Forget that... where were you keeping it?"

******BTR******

"Huh- he wasn't kidding about installing that swirly slide" Kendall rubbed the back of his head and looked up at the structure slightly impressed. He slid down the slide in one graceful moment and almost collided into Wallace who was waiting for him at the bottom with a distinctly unamused look on his face. Kendall gave him a large silly smile "our one is better."

"Our food isn't better though" James muffled sticking several gourmet corndogs into his mouth (they were SO good and who knew that was a thing? He had to get these for Carlos if they ever got into a massive blow out- or maybe if he was just feeling nice.)

"We're all going to die" Wallace moaned, "if all we needed to do was TALK to Griffin, couldn't we have made an appointment?"

James stopped mid-chew and Kendall froze with one foot hanging precariously in the air "you didn't think to mention that little detail BEFORE?"

"I THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS! Oh my God you two are idiots and Griffin is going to put poison in my next hamburger!"

"Oh don't be ridiculous."

They all turned in slow motion to find Griffin standing in the doorway, with his two assistants (see: muscle) flanking his sides.

"I would never poison something as pedestrian as a hamburger- I would simply hire your sister to smother you in your sleep. It's neater that way."

Wallace paled and muttered something about Nancy being out to get him since the fire truck incident and Kendall narrowed his eyes, something seemed… wrong about Griffin.

"Now tell me boyssss" he drawled out the last word in a impressive display of condescension "what exactly are you doing in my office?'

The bodyguards weren't the same- these ones were big and scary looking. Instead of his usual subtly intimidating assistants. Kendall had been under the impression that Griffin couldn't actually function without Abdul by his side.

"Well it's a funny story" Kendall laughed and gave the boys a pointed look so they laughed stiffly with him, "do you remember that time with the lobster and the marinate?"

"Of course" Griffin nodded and the bodyguards nodded with him like what Kendall was saying actually made sense. But seeing as there WAS no time with a lobster and a marionette (there was a time with a crayfish and a wodden toy car but that was completely different) Kendall jumped to the most logical conclusion.

Kendall kicked Griffin in the leg "IT'S A DECOY GRIFFIN RUN!"

"Wait grab him!" Wallace screamed "Something's wrong… just grab him!"

The fray began.

******BTR******

Logan approached the girl hesitantly. Camille had spoken to her for half an hour and deemed her acceptable- but a little boring. Which made her perfect for Carlos' first date- something safe would be good for him.

"Um hi" he slid up next to her and she looked over at him, snapping her book shut "um hi back" she grinned at him. Logan gave her an honest to God smile and his shoulders relaxed, he already liked her- which meant her being around all the time wasn't going to be an issue.

"I'm Logan- I heard you're new to the Palmwoods so I thought I'd introduce myself" Logan held out her hand and she shook it firmly. She had wide expressive eyes and long pale hair- up close she was starting to look disturbingly like Kendall.

"My names Jo, and thanks for introducing yourself- it's kind of scary being in California…"

"Oh? Where did you live before?" Logan asked easily and her face lit up at the mention of her old home.

"I'm from North Carolina originally," she told him and he could detect hints of an accent beneath layers of what now was obviously a cloaking neutral accent. Logan should have recognised it, he had one of his own.

"North Carolina, really? I always liked it there!" Logan gave her a large smile "I know it can be difficult to move- I've lived a lot of my life in Wisconsin but I moved out here because my best friend wanted me to be in a boy band with him."

"Really?" she laughed maybe a little to long and hard before she caught herself and gave him an embarrassed smile "I mean… that's really great… moving out all this way for a friend."

"Well friends mean a lot to me" he told her seriously and she smiled at him. Now was the moment "in fact… would you like to met one of my friends? He's in this boy band with me."

"Well I always like to make more friends" she told him and he laughed and motioned Carlos over, who nearly tripped in his hast to get there. "Jo this is my very good friend Carlos."

"Logan" Sargent Mitchell called (wincing at the name- but Logan had threatened him with sending photos of himself in a frilly apron to his grandad.)

"That's my dad," he told Jo with apology laden thick in his voice "I'll be back in a minuet."

Logan jogged over to the bush and a hand stuck out and dragged him down into in suddenly. "How do you think it's going?" Camille hissed "she's boring isn't she? I knew she'd be too boring!"

"Camille she's fine" Logan laughed and then quickly stuttered "um you know for Carlos" when Camille glowered at him.

"So… that didn't seem like wingmaning to me" Sargent Mitchell told his son "James was bragging you were the best at it, but you just introduced him."

"That's all he needed- as long as he stays away from the topics I listed, she'll be swept off her feet. He's really quite charming."

Carlos slunk back to the bush and Logan shot up "what happened buddy?"

"She had a boyfriend" Carlos sulked "she was so nice and she kissed me on the cheek and now I'm sad."

"Aw" Logan rapped his arms around Carlos "there, there look I promise I'll find you a girlfriend."

"Who cares about a girlfriend" Carlos complained "I just want to get this whole first kiss thing over and done with so Kendall will stop teasing me!"

"Wait so your saying- Logan wont spy on girls with you if you get your fist kiss?" Camille asked in surprise and Carlos shrugged.

"I guess I mean I only really-"

Camille grabbed him by the collar and cut him off with a short kiss.

"Oh… wow…" Carlos said in a daze and wobbled a bit.

"Camille!" Logan said in outrage " you can't just-"

Camille pulled him in and gave him a long passionate kiss, holding him firmly in place until his hands settled on her hips and he might just be kissing back.

She pulled away and wiped her mouth; "man- this was a good day for me."

Sargent Mitchell wandered back over to them "what just happened- my parental sense is tingling."

"I feel violated…" Logan told his dad with a worried expression on his face and Carlos smiled at him in a dazed manner at Sargent Mitchell.

"My lips feel tingly."

******BTR******

"So you had a run in with my evil clone?" Griffin asked and paced in front of them, they nodded shamefully (which may have had something to do with being forced to sit in Griffin's 'shame chairs.')

"But you lost him?"

"The bodyguards knocked us out!" James cried and the other boys nodded furiously in agreement- the bodyguards had also been clones- and they brought out more clones to fight them and all was lost. Because Kendall just couldn't convince himself to punch Wayne Gretzky in the face, even if it was just a clone version of him. Which apparently was a thing that could happen- Kendall couldn't orientate himself to a lot of what had just occurred.

"Does this mean we're not getting jet packs?" Wallace asked sadly and the other two boys heads shot up to look at him.

"We could have got jet packs?" Kendall asked excitedly "I want a jet pack!"

"No you don't" James told him seriously "Lenore made me test out a prototype of hers and I burnt a six foot hole into the earth, there was no way to steer the damn thing… and it TOTALLY messed up my hair!"

"Bummer."

"Wait, WAIT- Wallace you KNEW there were evil clones running around?" Kendall smacked the brunette who smacked him back.

"Duh! Everyone who works in the office has been briefed about-"

"I'm sure that's all very interesting Wayne but on a more pressing matter WHY did you boys break into my office?" Griffin snapped and Abdul handed him something vague shaped and waved it menacingly "and I'd think VERY carefully about your answer…"

The three boys gulped, "c-can we plead the fifth?"

"Absolutely not- I separated this land from American soil years ago, as I have with all my headquarters. You are currently standing of Griffbania soil now" he waved the instrument perilously close to Kendall's nose "where there is no fifth amendment."

"Your crazy" Kendall told him before either of the other boys could stop him.

"Of course- I'm also rich, which means I can do things like make my own country, or commission an evil clone… or buy Dak Zebon."

"You bought Dak Zebon?"

"I am one online auction away from that reality" he turned to his female assistant who was staring intently at a computer screen. She looked up briefly to give him the thumbs up, "he'll make a lovely present for my daughter's sweet sixteenth- much better than what I got her last year…"

"What did you-?"

"Wayne Gretzky."

"I think I'm going to faint" Kendall told them woozily and gripped the chair.

"Who's Wayne what's his face?" James asked and the rest of the room shrugged and Kendall let out a pitiful moan.

"I hate you all."

"As do I" Griffin told them "now one more time from the top- why did you break into my office?"

******BTR******

Logan pushed the door and found his bed in the middle of the living room. He stopped and Carlos ran into him, followed by Sargent Mitchell who narrowly avoided the boys- which would have sure toppled them over.

"Ow- okay what gives?" Carlos whined rubbing his nose and glaring at Logan. Logan for the most part was just staring pale faced as all of his stuff was piled neatly on his bed. He pointed at his stuff faintly and Carlos gape "what the hell?"

"James has kicked me out" Logan said hysterically "I knew he was getting annoyed with me but I didn't think he'd kick me out!"

"I'll string that boy up" Sargent Mitchell growled and slammed the door behind him. "JAMES DIAMOND YOU GET YOUR YELLOW LILLIED ASS OUT HERE NOW!"

James skidded out of the room, holding a bunch of Logan's clothes and Kendall followed shortly after him. He caught sight of the three in the doorway and gulped loudly, "ah- hey Logan" he gave the boy an awkward grin. "Fancy seeing you here…"

"Well I live here James" he replied sarcastically but a look of worry flashed across his face "or at least I HOPE I still do…"

James looked at Logan blankly and then followed his eye line to the bed behind him, then the pile of clothes in his arms, and then back to Logan. He dropped the clothes on the bed and hurried over to Logan and grabbed him by the shoulders "no, no, no, no, no, no it's not what you think at ALL!"

Sargent Mitchell picked James up by the scruff of his shirt and brought them nose-to-nose "it better not be boy- or I might have to make you disappear."

"DAD" Logan squeaked somewhere between a cross of embarrassment and outrage "you said you wouldn't threaten my friends anymore after the Joey Malone incident!"

"We're just talkin Hortense" his dad sighed exasperatedly and waved his hands to further his point (this didn't help his case because he waved James around with him.) "But if he's kicking you out then he aint your friend no more" a shark like grin crossed his face as he turned back to an extremely pale James. "So just remember- I have a lot of guns- and I'm related to a lot of rednecks."

Logan pulled at his dad until he released his friend and James took great big gulps of air and hid behind Kendall. The blonde looked amused and patted Logan on the shoulder "you would not BELIEVE the day we've had."

"We almost got jet packs" a voice called from James' room and Wallace stuck his head through the door "but Kendall didn't want to punch a Wayne Grezguy…"

"WAYNE GRETZKY?"

"I know right?" Kendall grinned at the amazed Carlos "okay not the REAL Wayne Gretzky but a look alike- Griffin let me take pictures" Kendall waved the photographical evidence in Carlos' face. And the two move away to fawn like lovelorn preteens.

"Why were you at Griffin's office?" Logan asked suspiciously and both James and Wayne looked pointedly in directions that were not where Logan was standing.

"That's classified- but Griffin and I ended up talking…" James scratched the back of his head and sent Logan a pleading look.

"He said you two can't room together- so you and Carlos are switching rooms" Wallace said brightly and slapped Logan on the shoulder encouragingly.

"WHAT?" Carlos and Logan chorused in horror and Kendall looked up from staring at his pictures adoringly to shoot Logan a dirty look.

"What? Suddenly rooming with me is such a horrible thought?"

"It will always be a horrible thought- that's why I'M not rooming with you" James shot back snidely, and Logan grabbed his wrist- bringing his attention back.

"Why would he tell you to do that?"

James shot him a sincerely sorry look "he heard we've been fighting" Logan made a face and James amended "okay so maybe I've been getting mad at you and he thinks we need some time apart."

"You did always like your space…" Logan muttered airily.

"Right! And this way I won't want to punch you in the face!" James told him excitedly and Logan sent him a shocked look.

"You want to punch me in the face?"

"Not anymore!" James insisted and Logan shot him a dirty look "I promise- look don't hate me…"

Logan sighed "I don't- just- just move my stuff and we'll discuss it after I drop dad off at the airport…"

"You're leaving now Sargent Mitchell?" James asked hopefully and pulled Wallace in front of him incase the large man was thinking of decking him as a goodbye present.

"Afraid so" Sargent Mitchell raised his hand at James, but ended up just ruffling his hair. "You know talking works out problems as well James" he rolled his eyes and muttered "teenagers."

"I know right?" Logan snorted and grabbed one of the bags Sargent Mitchell had packed and ready to go at the door. "Your lucky you never had to deal with it."

"I deal with you" Sargent Mitchell laughed picking up his remaining bags and followed his son out.

There was a lull at Logan's exit.

"I got to met a clone of Wayne Gretzky" Kendall sighed with a love-struck look on his face and hugged the picture close to his chest.

"Camille kissed me on the lips" Carlos told him proudly "she made out with Logan after but I'm still counting it."

"You totally should" Wayne grinned "and now I so have to call her and ask her what the hell that's all about" he whipped out his phone and wondered into James' room.

The three boys sighed and stared at the bed, and then up to Kendall and Carlos' room.

"Um James… how are we supposed to get that upstairs…"

"…Shit."

**I realize this chapter is a bit different; I was in a weird mood. Please read and review anyway thank you **


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's note: So this chapter was product of the people- and by that I mean I didn't have to think of anything because SpidermanInPlaid asked for some recording-Gustavo shenanigans which actually inspired a couple of chapters worth a plot from me (so ah THANK YOU.) And then ****Magiccatprincess PMed me out of the blue like a total legend and gave me an idea for the James/Carlos roommate woes and I was pretty much good.**

**Sorry for the wait though… my beta has been seriously ill and I'm terribly co-dependent and can't do anything with this story without her input. **

"The demo will be judged in exactly a week and a half! You guys do NOT have time to be goofing off!" Gustavo boomed at the boys with a fiercely intense look on his face.

"How are WE goofing off?" James complained gesturing at the music sheets he had been studying before Gustavo had burst into their rehearsal.

"HOW ARE YOU NOT?" Gustavo gestured at the remaining band mates to where Kendall was lying down on the floor seemingly trying to finish a weeks worth of math homework.

Logan and Carlos weren't any better in the middle of a thumb war championship. They had created a little boxing ring that they stuck their thumbs in and Carlos' thumb had a mucha lucha style-wrestling mask on. While Logan's had a cape and he had painstakingly drawn a little face on his thumb complete with a mustache.

"Quick Logan- what's a cosign?" Kendall asked Logan, seemingly unaware of Gustavo's presence. Logan briefly looked up from his match when Kendall had shoved the papers under his nose.

"The answers 26" Logan told him uncaringly, trying to regain ground in his match with Carlos. Kendall wrote the answer down and then looked down at the paper again and let out a high-pitched whined.

"Looooggggieeeee" Kendall shoved the paper under his nose again "they're ALL about cosigns! PLEASE just explain it to me!"

"You should have come to my tutoring session when we were doing cosigns last week Kendall," Carlos told him smug and unsympathetic.

"Okay look the answers are 7, 52, 12 and-"

"1, 2, 3! YES! I AM THE KING OF EVERYTHING!"

Carlos jumped up to do a victory dance and Logan followed in outrage- shooting dirty looks at Kendall for making him lose. The cardboard thumb-wrestling ring broke when Carlos got in full swing of his victory dance and Logan (the sore loser) wouldn't move his arm.

"THAT'S ENOUGH! DON'T YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR DEMOS PICKED AND IMPRESS GRIFFIN'S TEAM YOU WILL BE GOING BACK TO MINNESOTA!"

"We're from Wisconsin" Logan responded automatically and then looked horrified "wait- we h-have to go BACK?"

"That was the deal guys" Kelly told them walking into the room with an annoyed look that matched Gustavo's expression.

"But Griffin loves us" Kendall said in a reassuring voice patting Carlos on the shoulder.

"Griffin loves ALL the bands that are making demos- and there are 5 OF THEM!"

James let out a strangled gasp and Kelly threw a CD at each of them "annnnnd- we're the only band who hasn't finished our demo. We haven't even done the photo shoot for the cover."

"Which is WHY we're finishing the demo tomorrow- put down your homework boys. You're getting the week off to enter Gustavo's boot camp."

Gustavo stormed out with Kelly following jitterly behind him.

"What do we DO Kendall?" Logan asked in a panic, the making of a hyperventilation attack starting, "I can't go back to Wisconsin- it smells like cheese there!"

"Hey!" James said sharply and Logan just glared.

"What? It's true- it smells like cheese and everything is green and gold! And I was JUST getting used to the temperature and living with people and-"

Kendall put a hand on Logan's shoulder and the smart boy jumped about a foot in the air. "Here look- why don't I take this-" he pried a CD from 'the enemy' out of his hand. "Look I'll handle this" Kendall grabbed Logan's other shoulder so the smaller boy was looking him in the eye. "You trust me- right?" Kendall gave him one of his patented 'I-have-a-plan' grins and Logan nodded.

Kendall steered him to the door with a firm hand, "so- why don't you make Gustavo and Kelly some coffee so Gustavo's head doesn't explode and he can finish the demo- and James and I will take care of this."

"Okay-" Logan replied numbly and walked out the door.

"What's the plan?" James asked the second Logan was out of sight. Kendall shrugged.

"No idea- probably something shady, so I figured we should get rid of the living moral compass now. Gustavo will probably sink his claws in for a few hours." Kendall gave them a wolfish grin but it melted into a concerned look "plus I don't wanna stress Logan out- he's been pretty high strung this week."

"MAYBE its because somebody dumped his ass," Carlos said glaring at James.

"Don't be ridiculous Carlos- Logan isn't seeing... oh you meant me. Very cute." James said dryly crossing his arms "I don't know what YOU'RE bitching about- I'm a way better room mate than Ken-dork."

"Hey!" Kendall said angrily "I'll have you know I'm a GREAT roommate but I'll doubt that'll matter if we ALL GET SENT BACK TO MINNESOTA NEXT WEEK!"

"I'M FROM WISCONSIN!" James yelled back.

"NOBODY CARES!"

Carlos sighed and tuned the boys out, picking up the CDs and looked at the covers. He froze with shock.

"Guys..."

"WHO WOULD WANT TO EVER ADMIT TO COMING FROM THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"Um guys?"

"BETTER THAN LIVING IN MINNI-DEATH TRAP! PLUS EVERYONE IS OBSESSED WITH HOCKEY- WHERE DO YOU LIVE? CANADA?"

"GUYS!" Carlos finally screamed and banged their heads together so they'd stop yelling at one another. They both groaned and Carlos smirked, patting his helmet.

THIS was why he wore a helmet.

"What do you want Carlos?" Kendall groaned rubbing his head.

"Look at this- Danger boy" he showed the cover with four pretty boys in incredibly dangerous pants- they would know. They had worn them.

"WHAT?" James takes the cover from him and looks at it more closely before turning it over. "Big time danger? The city belongs to danger? This is the time for danger- WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL?"

"Its not as bad as this one" Kendall waves a red and white and blue cover in his face. "Look here- Big time patriotism, the city belongs to Vietnam vets and this is our time! We've been ripped off- and they stole our cast offs! Those bastards!"

"I smell a rat in the marketing department," Carlos said darkly.

"Hey guys" Wallace strolled in "um- is there any reason Logan's helping Gustavo tie the marketing team upside down to trees?"

"Yes- yes there is" Kendall chucked a demo at him. "Meet our competition for the chance to make a full album."

Wallace for his credit was incredibly quick on the uptake when he wanted to be, and put it together after a few seconds.

"Well boys- I think it's time for your last lesson on boybandom." he looked up with a smirk and the boy's faces fell.

"Wallace is now really the time for boy band lessons?"

Wallace clicked his fingers and the White clad posse popped up around him. "Lesson 245 of being a bad boy- revenge" he stuck out his hand and one of the white cladded guys handed him some rope.

"Well?"

"Deal," they all chorused and Wallace smirked.

"Oh and Logan's not invited- like I need that walking, breathing conscious around telling me that knocking people out is a criminal offence."

Mr. X walked in with a surprised look on his face "What in the name of X is going on here?"

"Dude" James sighed, "You totally picked the worse time to go take a cigarette break."

******BTR******

"I am exhausted" James laid out on his bed and Logan patted him on the head in a sympathetic manner.

"Relax James- Gustavo finished recording this is our someday so all we have to do is practice our live performance, take a good picture tomorrow and we're golden."

James bit his lip, he wasn't sure he could leave Logan in the dark about this for much longer. It seemed vaguely wrong. Okay that was incorrect- it was totally wrong and James would have to admit it if he told Logan.

"Right... golden" he sent Logan a sideways glance and they fell into an almost uncomfortable silence.

"A-are you really angry about trading rooms?" James asked, deciding to get all the uncomfortable conversations out of the way in one go. Logan laughed and that was... ominous.

"Of course not- I get you need your space. You used to have a FLOOR to yourself. I get that it's hard for you to share with me- especially since I'm with you all the time. Plus Kendall is an alright roommate- he let me have a desk and he doesn't make fun of my studying."

"Then what?"

"What, what?" Logan laughed and James rolled his eyes.

"You know what, what!"

Logan bit his lip "James don't freak or anything- but I can't tell you..."

"CAN'T TELL ME?" James screeched in a tone dogs could probably hear and Logan winced visibly at the sound.

"Don't take it personal James- YOU told me not to talk to you about it" Logan told him nervously and shifted slightly away from him on the bed.

"I've never... wait a second..."

James pounced on Logan and pinned him to the bed easily before trying to riffle through his pockets. "Oh God damn it Logan! This is Lenore problem isn't it?"

The door suddenly opened and Carlos started to walk in and then stopped to stare before breaking out of it to cover his eyes. "Oh my God guys I'm SO sorry- you should have put a bandana on the door or something!"

"Carlos!" Logan cried in surprise "it's not what you think! James is just trying to get something out of my pants against my will."

"James!" Carlos yelped scandalised "that is SO not cool- I'm not sure I want to room with you anymore!"

"Its only against his will because he's being a giant bitch about it- Logan just give it to me!"

"Absolutely not!"

Carlos was glued at the doorway watching in horror as James stuck his hands deeply into Logan's pockets before pulling out... a phone.

James jumped off Logan and started typing furiously on the phone. "JAMES! YOU GIVE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!"

Carlos decided to back out of the room and let the two boys sort it out for themselves. He just hoped they did it soon- Katie had spilt cranberry juice down his shirt and he really needed a new one.

Mrs. Knight had rules about walking around shirtless for any extended periods of time in the apartment.

"She broke up with her boyfriend? You mean your still bitching that you're not ready for a new relationship and she's already used some poor sucker as emotional Kleenex!"

"She wants to get back together- she wants to visit," Logan told him morosely.

"Logan- let me give you some advice about relationships. Long distance relationships NEVER work- especially not when you're trying to date Satan."

"I don't want to get back together- I just... you know how she can be. She's quite persuasive and you know were perfect on paper. I'm afraid she'll come over here and I'll just get wrapped up in her."

"Good- you don't want to get back together. So you won't be pissed I texted her that 'I'm in a serious relationship right now' with your phone do you?"

"YOU WHAT?"

"Hey- you said you didn't want to get back together. Plus the she-beast needs to know that that you could do better... In fact you have."

"But I haven't!"

"So make someone up! Or... use Camille."

Logan went beet red, "I-I can't use Camille!"

"Then make. Someone. Up! It worked when you had that summer fling with that 'girl from Canada' the summer you and Lenore had a break."

"Rebecca was real!"

"Logan NO girlfriend from Canada is real," James rolled his eyes as if it was obvious.

******BTR******

"Should you be stealing Logan's shirt?" Kendall asked seriously as he watched Carlos shrug off his ruined White T-shirt and replace it with one of Logan's more causal graphic print shirts that had obviously been forced on him by James.

"I have too- James and Logan are like making out on James bed and totally blocking my access to my closet. Which is ironic since neither of them seemed to be worried about closets that they may or may not be in when I walked in on them."

Kendall sighed "are you SURE you're not jumping to conclusions again. You thought little gnomes were trying to steal your helmet when you misplaced it for a couple of hours."

"Gnomes ARE- you know what never mind. Maybe your right- most of the groping stopped when James got Logan's phone out of his pocket."

"Right. Well there you go- wait what do you mean most?"

Carlos smirked at him for a moment before lying down on Logan's bed.

"WOW! This IS a comfy bed! Is it the same kind as James? Cause I've been to afraid he'll cut off one of my ears as a trophy if I messed up his bed."

"James still a shitty roommate?" Kendall asked sympathetically and finally threw down his comic so he could look at Carlos while they were talking.

"He's SUCH a neat freak! I don't understand how Logan put up with him!"

"Conditioning I assume" Kendall laughed "James has also tricked him into thinking that much hair gel is a good idea too!"

"Is it weird... Logan being your roommate? It's a little weird for me."

"It's weird for you that Logan and I are roommates?" Kendall asked sarcastically and Carlos threw Logan's pillow at Kendall (and almost immediately regretted it as he was now pillowless.)

"We're back on James and me now Kendall," Carlos scowled and Kendall sniggered at him.

"Why would I want to be ON you and James- look I don't care what you two do in your spare time-"

Kendall very nearly didn't dodge the shoe Carlos threw his way, but cackled in victory as it harmlessly hit the wall.

"Dude- FINE. We'll talk about your problem... wait was IS your problem?"

"James talks in his sleep... a lot."

"Oh! Oh! I KNEW that- once he was trying to save princess Hortensia- Oh my God I just realised who princess Hortensia is! I have missed a golden mocking opportunity- what if I never get another one?"

"You mock James over EVERYTHING something will come up," Carlos placated him with an annoyed expression "now could we get back to the part where I can't SLEEP!"

"Why? Ohhhhhhhhh is he having dirty dreams?"

"WHAT? NO! Oh my God what if you just jinxed it?"

"Then what's the problem?" Kendall groaned into his pillow and Carlos shot him a nasty look.

"He's just you know... loud."

"That's what she said" Kendall responded cheekily without moving from trying to smoother himself with his pillow.

Carlos leapt off the bed and tackled Kendall "Kendall" he growled, "I swear to God I will bring you."

"Fine... FINE OKAY!" Kendall yelled pushing Carlos off the bed "I will deal with your sleep problem after we deal with the band problem."

"What band problem?"

They turned to find a mildly concerned looking Logan who was flicking his attention back and forth between the two boys.

"NOTHING!" Carlos insisted quite loudly causing Kendall to wince and amend the statement.

"He means- well... we need to work on our live performance singing- some people are being... overpowered."

Logan's face fell "oh... right."

And awkward silence fell and Kendall was trying to work out to amend his already amended statement when Logan's attentions were diverted elsewhere.

"Okay- what did you deviant bastards do to my bed?"

"That depends Logan" Carlos sniggered "what did you and James do to James' bed?"

******BTR******

"Where did you get that novelty top hat?" Kelly asked suspiciously when she picked up the boys and Carlos shrugged at her innocently. Kendall took it from his head and placed it on his own.

"We thought it might spice up our act- novelty top hats... what do you think?"

"I think it kind of looks like the hat I had to wear when the marketing team came up with red, White and boy. Meaning our competition has already locked this look up tight." Logan told Kendall taking the top hat into his hands and eyeing it suspiciously "you know actually... this DOES look a lot like that hat- but red, White and boy owns it now, right?"

"Don't be ridiculous" James told him in a high pitched tone "THAT hat was red, white and blue- THIS one is BLACK!" James kicked a black spray can out of sight and gave Logan the thumbs up. Breathing a sigh of relief when he looked away.

"Look whatever... this is" Kelly gestured at the boys with a flippant hand gesture, "is going to have to wait. We're going to be late."

"Not late" Kendall said in mock surprise and pushed Kelly to the car "then let us finish getting ready- we'll be there in a second" he pushed her along but she looked resistant.

"What kind of getting ready would you need to do in the lobby?"

"I lost my helmet" Carlos said quickly when her back was turned and James snatched it off his head and threw it behind a couch. "We both know I'm USELESS without my helmet."

"But didn't you just?" Kelly eyed Carlos' head suspiciously and patted his head "I mean I'm sure I-"

"Oh no guys- look how stressed you've made Kelly," James admonished the guys before turning a sympathetic eye back to her. "Why don't you grab a coffee while Logan sorts out the helmet business."

"Well- just hurry" she told Logan in a warning tone before walking off.

"Logan- why don't you check in the apartment while we-" Kendall started but was cut off when Logan raised his hand.

"I SAW James throw the helmet you moron- care to explain what's going on?"

The three boys shared a look.

"-"

"-"

"-"

"Okay..." Logan stopped them, "that was a lot of information to get at once." he rubbed his temples with the tips of his fingers and sighed "alright- now ONE of you run that bit about sabotage and that thing with the llama again."

The boys silently elected Kendall to speak after a few moment of silent argument and wild hand gesturing. Kendall took a deep breath as if to buy time and then began to explain.

"So- we don't want to leave" he explained in a less rushed manner but with no less urgency in his voice. "Especially since it's not like you guys live close by and I know I said that hockey was my dream but maybe this is a little bit my dream now too."

Kendall seemed to flush at the admittance but Logan was unimpressed "yeah- but what about the llama?"

"It belongs to Red, White and Boy" James cut in "we're sabotaging the competition."

"Red, White and Boy own a llama?" Logan asked in confusion and Carlos laughed.

"Oh yeah- it's the drummer's. He's like a farm boy or something."

The disapproving look was back on Logan's face in full force "you stole someone's pet?"

"We sent it back to their farm" James amended "it's illegal having a llama as a pet in the state of California- we were doing them a favour."

"Alright" Logan sighed and massaged his temples "just... just no more sabotage without my say so- you guys are a bit shit at it."

"Hey" Kendall said defensively "we got the top hat! And we even- wait does this mean you'll help us?"

"Well duh! I don't want to go back to Wisconsin- James will bitch from now to well EVER if I let that happen."

"It's true" James said proudly and Logan snorted patting him on the shoulder.

"And... I guess I'd miss you guys too," he added to the other two.

Carlos wasted no time diving into a hug and Kendall quickly followed. Seemingly trying to suffocate Logan.

Kendall pulled James into the hug and for a moment the four we're perfectly content.

"Do you feel like we're forgetting something?"

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS? WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE!"

Logan grabbed Carlos' helmet and placed it on his head, his hand lingered for a moment and he patted the plastic fondly. "I have a feeling you're going to need that."

Carlos gulped.

******BTR******

"I thought you said we didn't have TIME to be wasting on this shit," Kendall hissed to Gustavo as he watched the rest of the band sing while trying to maintain a handstand.

Griffin was pacing before them with psychotic glee, he pointed at one of his assistants and the pulled a horn from a brief case.

Griffin placed a set of earmuffs over his ears and an ear split sound invaded the air.

All three boys fell down and they covered their ears in agony. Kendall had luckily covered his ears just in time and had been saved the worst of the noise.

James set his angry eyes on Kendall "why don't YOU have to perform singing handstands" he growled "not that you could."

Wallace popped up next to Kendall answering instead "bad boys do what they want" he explained with a smirk. Kendall pointed enthusiastically at him and the posse appeared around Kendall to reinforce the claim.

"Finally being the bad boy is good for something- though seriously why is ANY ONE doing singing handstands?"

"Because" Griffin paced in front of them with a terrifying glint in his eye, "boy bands need to be able to sing- and if they can't sing while doing handstands how can I expect them to sing while dancing?"

"That makes NO SENSE!" Kendall shouts in annoyance and Griffin's female assistance clears her throat.

"Actually I think you may be damaging their vocal cords…" she trailed off seemingly realizing what she was saying and had a terrified look on her face.

"Boys" Griffin turned to them with a vicious smile "let me give you a little lesson in business- rule one. The person with the money makes all the rules" he turned to his assistance who shrank back.

"Rule two- there is no rule two" he snapped his fingers and two men in suits walked in in military precision and flanked the woman. They picked her up and carried her out as two other men walked in and deposited a similar looking woman in black and handed her a clipboard.

"You can't-" Kendall started eyes widened.

"Ah, ah, ah- remember boys rule number one" and the men were back, this time at either side of Kendall.

"That wont be necessary" Kelly screeched in a high-pitched tone and led the men away.

"One day that man will kill us all," Logan told them with a shudder and Kendall patted him on the back.

The tune of 'Big Time Rush' filled the air and Logan grabbed his phone.

James eyed the phone suspiciously "Lenore?"

"No" Logan said defensively holding his phone to his chest.

"Don't 'no' me- she's been texting you all day. It's horrific."

"It's not Lenore" Logan said defensively "it's Camille."

Suddenly as if she had been summoned she burst through the door. "I've got it!" she declared excitedly and waved what looked like hair around proudly in her hand.

"What?" Kendall asked curiously.

Camille only then seemed to take in the sight of the others and she and Logan both flushed simultaneously. Camille hid whatever she had behind her back. "Nothing" she told him unconvincingly.

"Don't worry Camille- they had a similar idea about sabotage," Logan told her and the boys openly gaped at him.

"Oh well then it's the lead singer's pony tail from danger boy" Camille tossed the hair at James but he dodged it in disgust.

"Logan" James looked vaguely scandalised "there are lines you're not supposed to cross and cutting another man's hair-"

"It was practically a mullet" Camille interjected "we did him a favour- he looks WAY better with his *snort* beiber cut."

"You actually were trying to sabotage the bands on your own," Kendall said to Logan looking impressed.

"Of course not" Logan said dismissively "I recruited Camille and guitar dude."

They all gave him another long hard stare.

"What? Wisconsin is REALLY cold- I don't want to go back there."

"And I'm not there" Camille added with a flirty smile and red crawled up the back of Logan's neck.

"Yes well there's that too."

Camille grinned; "awesome- well boys I'm off I have to see a man about a tractor" she flounced off.

"PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S FOR A ROLE!" Logan called after her but he was met with silence as a response.

******BTR******

"Don't you think sabotage seems a bit wrong" Jo laughed as Carlos tried to explain the finer points of the plan to her.

"Its COMPLETELY necessary though" Carlos told her sincerely and gave her a wide grin. "But I wanted to check with you just in case it's not- Logan's not being he's usual moral compassy self and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing."

"And you thought I'd be a good moral compass?" Jo asked in amusement and Carlos nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh sure- you seem very trustworthy," he told her happily. A look crossed her face that Carlos didn't dwell on and she gave him a shaky smile.

Jo and Carlos' friendship had surprised everyone- especially the parties involved. But Carlos seemed sated after receiving his first kiss and decided he wasn't looking for a girlfriend in Jo- that worked out well for the new friendless Jo.

"Who said sabotage would be a good idea?"

"I did" they both looked up to find Kendall standing casually before them sipping a pink smoothie. He looked her up and down for a moment "you must be Jo."

"Oh Jo!" Carlos said excitedly "this is my best friend Kendall- he's kind of one of our bands front men."

"Ohhhhhh I though Kendall was a girl" she laughed and Kendall lost any trace of arrogance and smugness on his face in favour of embarrassment.

"Yeah well... Jo's a BOY'S name and I didn't go round thinking you were a boy!"

"Of course not" Carlos rolled his eyes "Cause when we first met her Logan called her a cute blonde girl- how COULD you think Jo was a boy?"

"Jo is also short for Josephine" Jo added with a smirk, perhaps over enjoying the rise she was getting out of Kendall. "Which is defiantly a girl's name... kind of like Kendall."

"Kendall is a UNISEX name" he told her in a high pitch voice and sucked angrily on his pink smoothie (which was SO not helping his case.) "Anyway why did you think there was a girl in a boy band?"

"Oh- you guys are in a boy band? Logan and Carlos were just referring to it as a band- no, you're right. Being in a boy band certainly makes you more masculine."

Carlos snorted and Kendall smacked the back of his head "you know YOU'RE in the same boy band Carlos."

Jo gave him a genuine and slightly embarrassed smile "I'm sorry if I'm coming off rude- I wasn't trying to be mean. I did actually think you were a girl- or maybe hoping. I've been at the Palmwoods for weeks and I haven't made a single girl friend."

"Well with an attitude like that..." Kendall snarled, but there was humour in his voice now. "Have you met Camille yet?"

"Camille?"

"Curly brunette girl that Logan is ABSOLUTELY NOT dating" Carlos supplied with a snigger. "She's out with James at the moment I think- they're running lines or whatever."

"It's a good place to start" Kendall offered with a small smile "she's a little insane- but between you and me every other girl here is a bit of a..."

"Right" Jo laughed, "I've noticed."

"Not Sandy and Mandy" Carlos said confidently "I'm going to marry her."

"Which one?" Jo grinned seemingly already used to Carlos' quirks- that endeared her to Kendall enough to almost forgive her the gender confusion. Almost.

"Yep," he told her with a large grin and she laughed.

"Yeah? Well good luck with that."

"What about you then?" Kendall rose his eyebrow and Jo with a joking smile on his lips "whom are you going to marry?"

She looked him in the eye and suddenly seemed a bit dazed "hmm? I'm meant no one. No! I mean probably my boyfriend... Terence."

"I thought his name was Travis" Carlos scratched his head in confusion.

"What? Um it is- Travis Terence- Terence is his last name" she blabbered and Kendall laughed.

Her face heated up and she stood up abruptly "I um I have to go."

"I thought we were getting lunch" Carlos called after her but she practically ran off, her eyes glued to the floor.

"She's cute" Kendall flopped down on her vacated chair.

"No" Carlos told him firmly "you can't like Jo- I like Jo."

"I thought you liked Sandy slash Mandy" Kendall told him with a smirk and Carlos shook his head firmly.

"Oh I don't like, like Jo- I'm just remembering the LAST time you dated a girl I was friends with."

"She was your cousin" Kendall corrected mildly and Carlos glared at him.

"She won't speak to me anymore!" Carlos frowned "Jo is the first friend here I made that's mine- not like Camille or Guitar dude or... or the Russian acrobats."

"You know Russian acrobats?"

"So not the point Kendall!"

"Fine" Kendall crossed his arms with a huff "she has a boyfriend anyway- oh do you want me to tell James to back off too?"

"I've already given him that speech" Logan walked up to them holding a blue smoothie "thanks for ditching me at the smoothie place by the way Ken." he gave Kendall an annoyed look but it lacked heat.

"Why were you guys getting smoothies?" Carlos asked mildly curious, he pulled a chair so Logan could sit down.

"Just discussing some things," Logan said lightly and Kendall pouted.

"Logan's changed his mind about the sabotaging thing- way to flip flop Loge" Kendall whined and Logan gave him a half smile and shrugged.

"It's what I do."

Carlos wasn't annoyed though- it was nice when things worked out how you expected them too.

They should probably just work on their band anyway.

******BTR******

"I thought we were focusing on the band?" Kendall hissed and held the flashlight close to his chest as Carlos dragged him into the bedroom he now shared with James.

"This IS band related as in you have to stop James sleep talking before I kick him OUT of the band!" Carlos hissed and shoved Kendall down onto his mattress; Kendall rolled his eyes at Carlos' behaviour.

"Oh like you even have the authority to-"

"Shhhhhh!"

Carlos hushed him as and forced them to train their eyes to the sleeping form of James. Just in time for James to start mumbling in his sleep- first incoherently and then frighteningly clear.

"Ah the monster is coming… Ah! Get away! Nooooo not the Cuda products- take Logan instead!"

"Please tell me you are taping this" Carlos hissed with mirth and Kendall held up a tape recorder in confirmation (he apparently kept such things on hand for just such occasions). They crept closer when the words became slurred.

"Stupid dragon Gustavo" James growled and Kendall had to slap his hand over Carlos' mouth to prevent him from laughing loudly. And to think they had come in here with the intention of just duct taping James' mouth shut. This was WAY more entertaining!

"Danger boys are setting fire to the castle" James mutters urgently and turns in his sleep so he's no longer facing them, "Kendall should fix it- Keeeeeennndaaahhhllll."

Carlos was grinning like and idiot and Kendall was feeling strangely flattered- in whatever weird medieval nightmare James was trapped in Kendall was the hero. It fit though- Kendall was awesome. He just hadn't realised James thought so too.

"He can scare it away with his scary face" James curled into a ball and Kendall's face dropped and he stopped the tape recorder. He wondered how much trouble he would be in for waking James up by tackling him…

Probably a whole lot.

"What are you morons doing in here?"

They turned to find Logan standing at the door with his hands on his hip and both boys look guilty- Logan seemed to be developing a sixth sense for when Carlos and Kendall were doing things they shouldn't be. "Slumber party?" Kendall offered weakly and Logan darted forward and grabbed the tape recorder.

"Leave James alone" he warned without any of his usual heat and chucked something at Carlos "I'll deal with you two in the morning."

Logan grabbed Kendall by the arm and dragged him out of the room, Kendall gestured wildly and silently at Carlos to save him, but Carlos made to effort to do so. Because Carlos was clearly a dirty rotten traitor.

Carlos looked down at his hand… earplugs.

He put them in and lay down in his bed. Tomorrow was a big day, and he was finally going to be able to get a good night sleep.

Now that he couldn't HEAR James- he had a feeling the pretty boy was going to be a whole lot easier to room with.

**Oh my God did this chapter peter out? It totally, totally did D: I will make that up to you! Anyway thanks for the lovely reviews and please continue to read and review **


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's note: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter… sorry about the wait. I've been busy and so has my beta so getting stuff done is taking twice as long. Ohhh guys can you see it this story is starting to wrap up (your probably thinking what? This story was going somewhere?) Anyway enjoy this chapter and I'll try and update soon **

"So where does your boyfriend come from exactly?" Logan sat down to Jo and Jo's lip tightened because it seemed yes, every single member of Big Time Rush was going to question the validity of her fake boyfriend.

Did she not SEEM trustworthy?

"North Carolina- same as me." She said briskly but his eyes bored into hers and it was becoming very unnerving.

"Oh you don't say? What was his name again?"

"Trevor" she said confidently- she was NOT making that same mistake. Especially not with all the overly interested looks Kendall had been sending her as of late.

She even had a background worked out for him- something her new friend Camille had put together with the same over enthusiastic manner she seemed to do everything in. Jo suspected if Trevor ever needed to make an appearance, Camille would quite happily done a wig herself to ensure he was portrayed properly.

Logan however was not prying into Trevor's background but had switched conversation all together.

"Before I moved out here I was in a serious on and off relationship with a girl named Lenore."

'Camille will be crushed' Jo thought with a certain amount of humour. Camille's pursuit of Logan was so intense it was comical. She went after him like she planned to plant a flag into his head and conquer him.

She'll be majorly pissed that the Dutch discovered him first.

"We're not together anymore- but she was putting on the pressure to get back together recently."

"That's ridiculous- long distance relationships never work... oh um except for MY one. That's um, doing great."

"Rigggghhhhhttt" Logan drawled, dashing any hopes Jo had that Logan was currently to self-involved to be suspicious.

Apparently he was a multi-tasker.

Shit.

"So what did you do?" Jo asked scrambling to regain the flow of the conversation.

"Told her I had a girlfriend." Logan shrugged and Jo gaped at him for a second. "Oh don't give me that look." he rolled his eyes, "I don't see how it's any different from what your doing."

"Touché" she sighed. Curse Logan for being the smart one. And curse her for making friends with him- a thousand possible friends and she makes friends with the only manipulative certified genius teenager in all of California.

"So I made up this girl-"

"Why not use Camille?" she butted in and he laughed and shook his head.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Because she is practically ALREADY your girlfriend," she pointed out to him bluntly. Who did he think he was fooling? Any suspicions she had that Camille's crush was tragically one sided had been dashed when she had spotted them playing go fish in the park. They were in the adorable pre- relationship phase she was desperately trying to NOT slip into with Kendall.

"I made a lot of mistakes with Lenore- she was a lot older than me when we started dating. And that mattered at first, so I know our relationship developed too quickly and I want to take things... slow with Camille. I don't want to mess with her just because I don't quite understand my feelings for her yet."

"Was that why you kept breaking up?" Jo asked curiously "she didn't know how she felt about you?"

"That... and she was insane. Ergh... I seem to have a type. And it's kind of frightening." Logan laughed into his hands and Jo patted his head fondly.

"Aw tha'ts sweet."

"No that's TERRIFYING! She's very persistent- and I'm afraid she's just going to show up one day and I'll be caught in this stupid lie!"

"Getting caught in a stupid lie isn't the END of the world" she grins at him and he groans.

"Oh you don't care what I think- that's why it doesn't matter. Were broken up but I still value Lenore's opinion. Which just means this is an even shitter thing to do."

"What's she like?"

"Who Lenore?"

"No- your girlfriend? Have you said? What's her name?"

"Ah- no personality yet. But I did name her, her name is ah-" he mumbles off and her eyebrows furrowed her eyebrows.

"Sorry what?"

He sighed heavily and pulled her close so he could whisper it.

"WHAT? No way!" she laughed and he sunk into his seat in mortification.

"Have I told you I panic under pressure?"

"That is brilliant" Jo gave him a large grin and he graded at her. "But you didn't say anything about what she looked like?"

"No..."

"Easily fixed," Jo told him and stood up only to sit back down in his lap and swing her arms around him. His eyes went wide and he stuttered, to her seeming amusement.

"Ah Jo! I really do like you but ah... I mean?"

"Oh relax" she snatched his phone and held it high in the air and snapped a few photo of her smiling into the camera and him looking at her in a daze. She even kissed him on the cheek for the last shot and stood up throwing the phone back to him.

"Consider me your new pretend girlfriend" she wiggled her eyebrows in a way that reminded Logan startlingly of Kendall.

"Thanks... are you SURE you don't want to break up with your pretend boyfriend? Then you could date Kendall! You'd get a real boyfriend... and he'd stop treating me like his sugaret girlfriend."

"How is he doing that?"

"He made me go on a picnic with him yesterday- it's starting to become unnerving."

"Ha ha your regretting switching rooms?"

"Not as much as James is" Logan snickered and then launched into a very detailed account of James' troubles.

******BTR******

"Would it KILL you to pick up your socks I mean GOD! You can't just chuck them anywhere you want!"

Carlos glared up at the taller boy and threw the sock he'd just freed from his foot at his pretty face. "Your not aloud to bitch at me here- we're in the studio!"

"Actually I'm going to have to concur with James on this one" Kelly interrupted, picking up a stray sock with a gloved hand.

They looked blankly at her.

"She meant she agreed with James" Logan explained as he strolled through the door and they both 'awwed' to signal their new understanding.

"Hey Logie how was your lunch date with Jo?" Carlos asked with an impish grin and watched Kendall splutter for two very different reasons.

"You can't date HER! I already promised you to Camille- my new BFF."

"You CAN'T date her! You- you would be TERRIBLE together. This is awful!"

"Guys... Jo HAS a boyfriend" Logan reminded them gently and they all rolled their eyes at him.

"Yeah right."

"Anyway I have evidence," Carlos waved his phone where Jo had texted him a picture of the two. Underneath it she had texted him 'I'm dating your boyfriend, Jealous?"

"Touché Taylor" Logan muttered darkly. He should have known she would have at least a little fun at his expense and since she only two had friend- and one of them was Camille. He's frankly surprised she showed enough restraint to send it to Carlos after he left.

"She's just helping me out with something" Logan told him with annoyance.

Carlos snorted "what? Your pants?" his grin was manic and he followed up his last statement by asking "does this mean it's cool for me to ask Camille out?"

"NO!" James and Logan yelled simultaneously and Carlos just giggled harder.

Kendall was staring at Logan like he obviously wanted to be mad but could only muster up a pout.

"Don't pout at me" Logan wiggled his finger "we're not dating- I just spent a whole hour talking you up." 'More or less' he added silently and Kendall's face broke out into a magnificent grin.

"Really?" he asked squeaking and James sniggered unsympathetically.

"Absolutely! I mean if you guys start dating her you can just use those ticket you bought to take her out."

Kendall's eyes narrowed "Your motivations are becoming clearer- you are NOT getting out of that hockey game!"

"Whyyyyy" Logan whined, "I'm sure Jo LOVES hockey!"

"DOGS!"

They turned to see an impatient Gustavo sitting at the piano. "If you are done gossiping like old ladies can we get back to getting you PERFORMANCE READY?"

"We ARE performance ready- Mr. X has given us the big x-thumbs up this morning" Carlos scratched his head in confusion.

"And Wallace finally thinks I can pull off the bad boy" Kendall pumped his fist "so what's the problem."

"I said that before I saw the lovesick idiot you seem to turn into when talking about this Jo person- by the way you might want to keep something like your sexuality under your ridiculous beanie for the duration of this band thing."

"Jo IS a girl" James explained when Kendall seemed to go dumb with rage. "I know- I'm just as shocked is you are that Kendall's straight."

Logan cut between James and Kendall to preempt the eventual wrestling match between the two.

"Can we get back to the matter at hand?" Gustavo asked sighing.

"Right" Kelly handed them an envelope each, "everyone agrees- you guys are fantastic live." she gave them a moment to high five and be self-congratulatory before she cut them down. "HOWEVER Griffin is watching all of your performances at a party to decide, which means people will be TALKING to you and well..."

"YOU GUYS ARE A WALKING DISASTER!" Gustavo finished for her in a scream and she gives a resigned nod of agreement.

"ALSO you've alienated just about every other band and they all kind of want to kill you."

The four boys gave each other sheepish looks and Kendall whipped out his phone. "Hey baby sister- ah cancel operation delta alpha would you."

There was an annoyed groan over the phone and Katie complained "what am I going to do with all this shaved ice now?"

"...Slushy stand" Logan called out helpfully and Katie fell silent until she seemed to be barking orders 'Budda Bob quick move you wood-chipper down to the pool!"

Kendall shut his phone with a fond smile on his face.

"So what are these?" Carlos fiddles with the envelope curiously.

"Damage control."

There was something scary about the way Kelly said those words.

The four boys gulped simultaneously.

******BTR******

"I don't think that Asian man HAD to throw biscuits at us- it seemed unnecessary." James complained trying the shake the crumbs out of his hair and Logan laughed.

"Well Kelly sure found it amusing- I assume the biscuit thing was less about teaching us good party edict and more of as an excuse to throw stuff at us."

"What do you think our chances are?" Carlos asked dearly and Logan shrugged.

"I don't know."

They were in James' and Carlos' room; James was holding a broom like you might hold a sword and Logan had a feather duster and a cloth in his hands.

"Ah... what are you guys doing?" Carlos asked curing up on his bed in fear until Logan ripped the sheets off. He chucked the feather duster at Carlos.

"We're cleaning this room," Logan explained with an iron resolve. He began picking up clothes off the floor and placing them into a basket while James swept the remaining crap into a large pile in the center of the floor.

James locked the door with a deafening click and Logan turned up the music so nobody could hear Carlos scream for rescue.

Kendall heard a noise and made his way over to the room until someone threw a rolled up sock at him.

"I wouldn't do that big brother," Katie warned him, sitting cross-legged around piles of washing. "I saw James with a mop- I think he and Logan are holding their own episode of room makeover in there... only with more hostages."

They heard another anguished cry from Carlos rise over the music and James' voice could be heard just under the music as well.

Kendall let go of the doorknob, "ooooh good call."

She gave him a brisk nod and went back to glaring at the washing. Kendall grinned at her and cleared a chair of washing so he could watch her.

"So what's all this?"

"Logan has been washing Carlos' clothes for a while- and there is also everyone else's washing here too!" Katie glowered at the mess.

"So? Why is that your problem?"

"I'm being punished for starting a black-market in the game room downstairs." she picked up an unidentifiable t-shirt and crumpled it into one of the smaller piles "so now I'm stuck on folding duty for a week- a fact Logan is taking TOTAL advantage of while appeasing his temperamental life partner over there."

"You done with your crushes then?" Kendall asked curiously, feeling slightly relieved- he was worried Logan might be spineless enough to be intimidated into dating her. He didn't WANT to break Logan's kneecaps… but if it came down to it…

"You'll be glad to hear they are no longer shiny and new- now they're just like Carlos."

"Yeeeeah but you've never had a crush on Carlos" Kendall points out with a grin. His face drops when she doesn't reply and looks down red faced at the floor.

"Carlos? Really?"

"Being a pre-pubescent teenager is hard okay!"

Kendall picked up a pile and started folding. It's not his or a females.

A sweater-vest confirmed this pile is Logan's and he started piling the sweater-vests to the side. He'd like to know exactly how many the small boy went through a week. Man! There was a lot! What was he using them as napkins and tablecloths too?

He looked up to find Katie holding a pair of Carlos' underwear and his expression turned to one of horror.

"Katie Apple Knight put those down immediately- don't fold Carlos'... under things..."

"What would you like me to do?" Katie asked sarcastically "they're just underwear."

She ran her hand over them and fished out another pair from James' pile. "Oh look Kendall I'm holding underwear."

Kendall snatched them out of her hand and held them out of her reach; "stop that Katie!"

"I HAVE to Kendall," she complained; "I need to sort all of the underwear into the correct piles so they go to the right rooms."

Kendall looked down at the underwear in his hands then up and Katie, "I've got this."

He sat on the floor and started to sort.

He missed Katie's smirk.

Brothers were so easy.

******BTR******

James adjusted Logan's tie and groaned as Carlos elbowed him. "When did a limo start to feel small?"

"Wellllll it might to you," Kendall told him rolled his eyes "but WE don't have mothers who have their own limo on retainer so it's about the same size as always to us."

"She doesn't have one on retainer… they just sort of appear when she needs them," James countered, voice coloured with agitation. He tugged on Logan's tie and it knotted frustratingly tighter "dude- you are terrible with ties."

"We can't all be masters" Carlos said with great annoyance- he had been issued a tie connected with elastic because he apparently couldn't be trusted. "Why do we have to wear suits?"

"It's just for the party Carlos… Big Time Rush is the last act tonight and we didn't want you to be in your concert outfits until…" Kelly trailed off clutching her clipboard tightly.

"Until it's too late for us to spill food down it?" Logan supplied, eyebrow cocked.

"Or for someone ELSE to" Kelly told them meaningfully "the rest of the bands kind of hate you."

"They started it" Kendall said childishly.

"No- their managers started it… that other teenagers never did anything to us" Logan grimaced. The other boys shared a guilty look. That was… sort of true.

"So what do we do?" Carlos asked with a whine, he had never intended to hurt anyone (he never did) he just hadn't thought about the consequences (something he never managed to do.) "Should we… apologise?"

"No" Kelly said briskly, "the damage has already been done- and there isn't anything to be done at this late of an event."

Kendall frowned and the boys were silent for the rest of the trip.

The party was hosted at a venue none of them had ever been to and was so out of anyone's price range that it was a little unnerving. Even more so since they had rocked up in a limo.

The party was milling with older people in expensive outfits and Gustavo greeted them, looking particularly uncomfortable in a distinctly bling-less suit. "Why are you standing there" he hissed angrily "mingle! Just make sure you're backstage before eleven so we can prep you."

"It must be killing him we aren't warming up right now," Carlos whispered to Logan and the boy grinned and nodded in agreement. A woman waltz up to the two of them, she was older by a fair few years but still an exceptional beauty if you didn't look her in the eye.

"Ohhhhh you must be the boys from the patriot group" she grabbed an arm each and pulled them close to her.

"A-a-a-a-actually mam' we're from the band Big Time Rush" Logan flushed and Carlos nodded along mutely.

"Oh Gustavo Rocque's attempt to revive the boy band?" She rolled her eyes and her voice was something akin to nails on a chalkboard. "I should have guessed" she let go of Logan momentarily to run her long fingernails lingeringly down Carlos' face. "You two do SO fit the part."

She gave Logan a particularly appreciative once over. "You've certainly got MY seal of approval… oh! What am I doing? You must be dying to mingle a bit- come. I'll introduce you to my friends. They'll simply die."

She dragged them into the throng, seemingly unaware that they were making wild gestures to their band mates to save them.

"Well… THAT was unexpected."

"Not really… Mrs Gordon is KIND of a pedo" a voice responded. They whipped around to find a boy in dark goth-like make up and in a tailored black suit. "She owns like a fifth of shares of RCMCBT Global Net Sanyoid Corporation- I'd keep an eye on your hilariously young looking band mates."

"They're older than us," James admitted before thinking about it and goth-guy's eyebrows shot up.

"No shit? You guys don't seem legal- all the other bands are in their twenties easy… except for Big Time Rush maybe… those losers seem like a no show. I haven't seen anyone in a pretentious beanie or skinny jeans so far so here's hoping they just don't show up."

"I left my pretentious beanie at the dry cleaners" Kendall gritted through his teeth and James shot him a sharp grin. "And TRUST us- you don't NEED skinny jeans when you have legs like ours. We look good in all forms of pants weather they're skinny or not."

Goth guy gapped at them.

Kendall supposed they did look a bit different than on their demo cover- Kendall's hair had been cut and his beanie had been confiscated and James looked a lot older in a tux.

"So your Big Time Rush huh? I thought the dudes that switch out our black eye makeup with stripper body glitter would look more like five year olds."

"Was that you?" James asked Kendall with a hint of appreciation in voice and Kendall shook his head "ummmm no. Maybe it was Carlos?"

"It couldn't have been- Are you sure you don't have us confused with someone else?" James asked the goth guy and he shook his head.

"We talked it over- your NUMEROUS pranks have been the talk of the other bands for MONTHS."

"MONTHS?" Kendall echoed "dude- we didn't even know you guys existed until like last week… plus we've only been a band for like three months."

"You've only been a band for three months?" Another goth guy sprung up next to them, this one had long floppy hair, strategically place over one eye and a stark red streak that ran down it.

"Um yeah…"

"So you're a manufactured boy band? Figures."

"Hey- we knew each other!" Kendall said defensively even though that's only half true "they're my best friends."

"That's nice" the final goth band member popped up a small perky girl with dark eyeliner. "Erik and Sampson are brothers."

"That's Jericho and Dominic now" the red streaked corrected her with no pleasure on his face in doing so.

"Those names are lame" she drawled out and rolled her eyes nudging James "did they try and change everything about you too?"

He let out a little laugh and wrapped his arm around her "Honey… I've always been this pretty."

Kendall laughed loudly "it's true- we have sources that confirm it."

"Though Kendall's a dirty hipster and no one has done a THING about that" James told her in a mock whisper, which sent her off into a round of giggles. Kendall smacked him over the head and James caught his wrist "I see you still snuck on some bracelets though" he waggled his eyebrows at the blonde.

"Oh go to hell James- don't make me tell Logan on you."

"Wait" the goth guy Erik… oh um Jericho, "so what about the spray painted coffins?"

"Nope."

"The booby trapped hair gel?"

"nuh uh."

"My hair?"

Both boys look guilty and the red streaked guy ruffled his brother's hair "oh don't pretend your greasy hair looked good- the stylists wept for joy for like… an HOUR!"

"Okay what about the poem taped all over our car about how goth is out?"

"Oh that was Logan" James grinned, "That has Logan written all over it- he does believe the pen is mightier than the sword."

"He managed to rhyme gothic with catastrophic..." red streak said thoughtfully and the girl nodded enthusiastically.

"We were gonna ask if he wanted to help write our album when we beat the shit out of you tonight."

"You can't have him" James said defensively "oh… and we are SO gonna beat you."

******BTR******

"I can't believe we survived those ladies" Logan said out of breath and Carlos breathed heavily next to him.

"I know right- and MAN Kelly wasn't kidding about the other bands hating us- I hadn't realised we had even pulled pranks on HALF of them and Kendall was pretty tame about what he did do!" Carlos complained and righted his tie.

"I **also** could have done without being molested," he added and Logan pointed to him.

"By who? The older women or Griffin's surprisingly hot but unsurprisingly terrifying daughters?" Logan laughed and Carlos sent him a powerful glare.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you- that Mercedes chick was so obviously into you! She wanted to dye your hair to match her purse!"

"Yeah well at least I didn't get stuck with those two OTHER car themed named girls who wanted desperately to be called pretty" Logan crossed his eyes and Carlos threw a crab puff he had been saving for later at him. He had saved twelve others stuffed in his pockets so this wasn't a big loss.

"What can I say- I'm a people person..."

"Red, White and Boy didn't agree with you when they kept trying to trip you" Logan laughed harder.

"Yeah, those guys are jerks."

They turned to see four guys grinning at them, "um- who are you?"

"We're Geldert's band- Radio Remedy" the dark haired leader explained. "We we're just four skateboarding enthusiast friends until Geldert wanted to sign me- I made him take my friends along for the ride of course." The guy told them smugly and Carlos' face broke out in a grin.

"Hey that's what our friends did!"

"We know" the shorter floppy hair one told them "which makes it easy to deduce you two are the weaker links."

"That's… a pretty fair assessment," Logan said in a self-deprecating tone. Carlos patted him on the head and Logan sent him a small smile.

"So really, we're doing your band mates a favour," the tall pretty one told them and before either boy could process what that meant they were being stuffed into a closet.

The leader put a chair in place and ignored the banging and yelling.

"We're going to let them out after… right Curt?" The floppy haired guy asked in a worried tone and the other shorter guy nodded enthusiastically with a concerned look on his face.

"Don't worry about it Henry" Curt said dismissively "have I ever led you wrong before?"

"Yeah… but they're just kids…"

"Exactly" the tall boy told him "they've got plenty of time to become famous- we NEED this more than they do. I bet those two didn't even want to be famous."

"Ah- Manson WE didn't want to be famous…" the shorter boy started but they were cut off when the announcer called.

"Let's hear it one more time for Ddddddddaaaanger Bbbbbboy- and up next is Geldert's band of former skateboarders turned singers; Radio Remedy!"

"Let's go!"

"I just feel all these pranks are going to come back and bite us on the ass."

"Hurry UP Henry- sing now, guilt later!"

"I've got to get new friends."

******BTR******

"Where ARE they?" Kendall asked in a blind panic- they were supposed to go on in a few minuets and Logan and Carlos were missing!

"What if their hurt?" James added and a look of panic crosses Kendall's face like he hadn't even CONSIDERED that.

"Of what if they are just TERRIBLE PEOPLE!" Gustavo screamed, "they're not coming you go on in TWO minuets- go on WITHOUT THEM!"

"WHAT?"

"You said their was no such thing as a two person boy band… how- how would we even perform without them?"

"I guess you'll have to find out" Gustavo pushed them out on stage and watched as his career went down the toilet. He should have been a dentist.

"Uh, uh, uhuhooooooooooooh"

******BTR******

"Wow- maybe they WEREN'T the dead weight in that band" Curt laughed loudly as Big Time Rush left the stage.

"I don't get it- where did jail bait one and two go?" Erik hissed to Sampson and the red streaked boy pointed to where Radio Remedy seemed to be gloating at their competition's failure.

"Something does NOT sitting right with me about those guys…"

"They said something about Big Time Rush and a closet" the female band mate told them "but I thought they were just making fun about them being a boy band!"

"Scavenger hunt?"

Kelly was weaving through the crowd; they were more or less screwed. She had TRIED to explain to Griffin that half the band had mysteriously disappeared- probably being molested by cougars if James and Kendall's depictions could be trusted. But Griffin had made them perform anyway.

It had been an unmitigated disaster!

"Still can't find them?" Mrs Knight grabbed her, seeming more worried about the boys than their failed carers. Understandable, It wasn't like HER job rode on their success.

Kelly was going to have to go back to assisting her Uncle Hawk. She HATED him- no maybe she could work in fast food or something seeing as she'd never work again in the music industry!

"I think I've got something of yours" the lead singer from Danger Boy walked up to her helping Logan along and the other two band members had Carlos.

She wanted to be angry. She should be furious. They had practically cost her, her job but all she could say was.

"OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE ALRIGHT!"

She wrapped her arms around them and squeezed them until they couldn't breathe- not that it's wasn't already an issue. They had just spent a couple of hours locked in a closet.

The reunion cut short but Griffin and his microphone.

"After careful consideration I have come to a decision" he drew out a pause and watched his bands squirm in pure anticipation. Oh, he liked it when they squirmed.

Say Big Time Rush. Say Big Time Rush. Say Big Time Rush.

"It is clear to me there is only one choice."

Say Big Time Rush. Say Big Time Rush. Say Big Time Rush!

"Radio Remedy."

Say- no. No!

"I've got you four tickets back to Minnesota" Kelly told them sadly as Logan and Carlos blinked and gaped in confusion. "I guess this means you need to go home and pack- the flight is booked for tomorrow afternoon."

What had just happened?

**Please review **


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's note: So it's been forever. Remember when I was like 'I'll update this in a few days' and then a few months past. Yeah sorry- there was some pretty heavy stuff that happened right after and I couldn't write anything and then after I was real uninspired. I WILL finish this though. I will try to update as soon as possible and finish this.**

"Wait... this isn't Wisconsin!"

"Well done, James" Logan rolled his eyes. "When did it hit you? When we got on the plane? When we landed? When we started walking around? Or perhaps when Kelly told us we were travelling the rest of the way by bus?" Logan waved twin bus tickets in front of his face and James snatched them from his hand in response.

"You know I don't listen when I'm emotionally distraught." James told him staring down at the tickets with immense concentration.

"You also don't listen when you're; talking, walking, BREATHING..." Logan listed off for him and Carlos elbowed him in the ribs.

"Dude. Lay off."

Logan fell silent looking around moodily at his surroundings. "Did you really grow up here?"

"Absolutely," Kendall grinned and pointed to a building. "In fact I spent a great deal of my childhood in there!"

"That's… a police station Kendall," Logan frowned.

"Yes."

"Hey Logan..." James piped up "why do the tickets say we're leaving TOMORROW!"

"WHAT?!" Logan snatched the tickets back and squinted at the tickets, he even took out his glasses just to be sure what he was reading was correct.

"Yay! Sleepover!" Carlos cheered wrapping an arm around Logan who shrugged him off.

"Then we can ALL go to Wisconsin and see how lame it is," Kendall added with a snigger.

"You'd need a ticket" James pointed out and watched in horror and amazement when Kendall pulled out two extra tickets.

"Where did you get those?" Logan asked suspiciously.

"Nowhere," Carols and Kendall chorused with suspicious speed and volume that was clearly practiced.

"So we're staying over at Carlos'?" James asked and Kendall shook his head.

"Lame. No, one of you can stay with me."

"Isn't your mum still renting out her house?" Carlos asked and Kendall shrugged.

"Yeah- but she didn't rent out the granny flat so we're staying there until the family move out at the end of the month."

"That's short notice," Logan said with a hint of disapproval.

Mrs. Knight pulled up next to them in her car, "the family understands," she promised him. "Sorry to make you boys walk... there really isn't any room." she cast a look to the back of the car where Katie was siting in a contorted position between boxes playing a video game.

"It's fine mum" Kendall promised, "it's much more fun skating than being stuck in the car."

"Speak for yourself" Katie called "I'm about to defeat the ice queen once and for all!"

Mamma Knight rolled his eyes, "Logan I assume you're coming home with us."

"Oh, um I guess?"

"What? You thought Kendall would invite JAMES over?!"

"HEY!"

"I guess not," Logan snickered and Carlos shrugged at James.

"I guess that means you're staying with me."

"Don't sound so excited," James pouted and crossed his arms. Carlos gave him a sympathetic if not slightly patronising pat on the head.

"We have to turn here if we're going to my house," Carlos pointed to the crossroads.

"Why don't you all go to Carlos' place then you boys can show James and Logan around. I have a lot of unpacking to do anyway- just be back for dinner okay?" Mama Knight told them, her last comment held a warning tone and seemed to be directed at Kendall.

"Fine mum," Kendall said in an exasperated tone as he rolled his eyes. The car sped away.

"I'll race you to Carlos' house," he cheered and took of in a speed of fury.

"You're on," Carlos grinned and took off as well.

"That's not fair!" Logan called.

"Yeah! We don't even know the way to Carlos' house!"

******BTR******

"This isn't possible," Kendall moaned and kicked a discarded can like the sore loser he was.

"I didn't know you knew what my house looked like," Carlos added in slight amazement.

"Brick house, blue roof, bird house mailbox- it's the only one like it on your street" James pointed out. "I didn't know how to get to your street- which is why you were in the lead until then."

Logan skated up to them, the official loser of the race.

"You realise I have no idea how to get to your house right?! And yet you still insisted we race! I was stuck two streets behind you."

James leant on the front door and laughed, "that's what you get for being so slo-woah!"

The door opened and James fell straight on top of Carlos' mum.

"Oh God I'm SO sorry!"

"It's okay," she sighed and four hands extended to her to help her up. She grabbed her son's hand "I hadn't realised you were bringing your friends home miho" she surveyed the two unfamiliar faces "you must be James and Logan."

"We are," James confirmed.

"I thought you lived in Wisconsin..."

"We do ma'am" Logan sighed, "we're staying over for the night and then catching a bus home."

"Oh by the way mum," Carlos slung his arm around James "Can James stay over tonight Puhleeeeeeaaaassssseeeee!"

"You hadn't asked her yet?" James asked with surprise and Carlos' arm slipped from around his taller friends shoulder.

"What?" Carlos asked in confusion "of course I have… I mean you just heard me ask." The tone Carlos used suggested that he thought James to be a bit slow and James slapped him upside the head in response.

"I meant BEFORE you offered to have me over stupid."

"Oh you're inviting James over?" Mrs. Garcia said with a conflicted look on her face "I was hoping you'd invite the other one."

The boys looked shocked and Kendall, Carlos and James turned their heads slowly to look at Logan. "Logan?!" James repeated insulted, "why would you want HIM to come over."

"It's nothing against you dear" Mrs. Garcia promised "I just wanted to meet the boy that turned my baby's grade point average from a D to a B."

"I'm on a B now?" Carlos asked excitedly and his mum nodded proudly pulling a grade card from behind her back.

"I know it isn't mid-semester but your tutor wanted to send this to me because of how much you'd IMPROVED scholastically while being in a boy band. She said in her experience grades usually decline."

She gave her son a hug.

"My grades improved too Mrs. Garcia!" Kendall told her and she enveloped him in a hug.

"Oh Kendall I'm so proud! I always told those other mums not to write you off- I said he'd make something of himself after he served his time."

"Hey thank- wait HEY!"

She pulled Kendall back and pulled Logan in for a hug lifting him clean of his feet and swinging him side to side. "You truly are a miracle worker Logan Mitchell," she told him happily. She put him down and James looked at her with a slightly dejected look on his face.

"James!" She opened her arms and he almost tackled her in his hurry to get a hug, "I'm sure you're a very nice boy." She told him patting his back; he had lifted her about a foot up into the air.

Logan put his hand on James back and James released Mrs. Garcia. "Uh sorry" he told her not looking sorry at all.

"I'm sorry to hear about the band boys- but you know nobody thought that was going to work anyway. OKAY who wants sandwiches?"

"Oh me!" three hands rose and James stood back with a contemplative look on his face.

******BTR******

"Did nobody think we were going to be the band Griffin choose?" James asked as the four of them sat on the Garcia's trampoline eating sandwiches with the crusts cut of and various other snacks Mrs. Garcia had provided.

"No. Mrs. Gordon said we were kind of the underdog- my GOD these are delicious!" Logan took another generous bite out of his egg and lettuce sandwich "and she even cut the crusts off and everything!"

"FOCUS Logan… oh these ARE good," James decided when Logan shoved a sandwich into his mouth.

"What's your point James?" Kendall asked and James stuffed the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and chewed obnoxiously with his finger up signifying that he would only be a moment.

"Mmm- okay well I was thinking- what if someone intentionally sabotaged us?"

"You're just looking for a reason why we failed," Carlos told him sadly and Logan shook his head.

"No he's not- don't you remember Carlos a band LOCKED us in a closet! Plus bands were blaming us for pranks, pranks that happened to them MONTHS before we even formed as a group!"

"That actually happened?!" Carlos exclaimed and the other boys echoed the sentiment at this revelation. "I thought I just made that up!"

"Why didn't you say anything Logan?!" Kendall asked grabbing the smaller boy's shoulder who shrugged in response.

"Everything happened SO fast- there wasn't any time. I just sort of assumed Carlos told you… I mean I told Gustavo but he just muttered about this Geldert guy and how we didn't have proof and there was nothing we could do."

"Which band was it?!"

"I don't know," Logan said honestly "It happened really quickly and then I was really worried about being trapped in that small space so I can't really remember…"

The boys' faces fell then Carlos' face lit up, "wait that guy- the lead singer said that he was the only one that had been offered a singing contract. I remember because it was kind of like us" he paused thoughtfully before adding "they said they used be skaters."

Kendall pulled out his phone and hit speed dial number 5.

"Hello?" A familiar voice came from the phone and Kendall hit speakerphone.

"Hey Wallace it's us," Kendall said and the remaining three chorused hello.

"Hey guys!" His voice brightened up "you have NO idea how much I miss you guys- they have me working with the winning band. They're a NIGHTMARE I have NO idea how they won. They're not a very cohesive group, if you and practically every other band hadn't had technical difficulties there is NO WAY they would have won."

"Hey Wallace the band you're working with… what's it's name?"

"Radio Remedy. Don't you remember?"

"We were kind of busy," Kendall covered the phone and whispered to Logan "does that sound familiar?"

"Sort of" he mouthed. Logan swatted Kendall's hand away and spoke to Wallace through the phone.

"Hey Wallace… they wouldn't happen to be skateboarders by any chance?" He asked and James gave Logan a 'thumbs up.'

"How'd you know?"

"Are you sitting down Wally?" James asked.

"Yeah" Carlos added "because do we have a story to tell you."

******BTR******

"Should we really be showing Minnesota to you guys when it turns out we were cheated out of California?" Carlos asked as they walked down the street.

"Nothing we can do about it right now" Logan told him "well… nothing WE can do about it." they turned to eye Kendall who was still on the phone with Wallace talking in a hushed voice "…best let Kendall figure it out. He IS the expert after all."

"How does one become an expert in revenge?" James joked and ducked as Kendall made a particularly violent hand gesture meant for Wallace.

"Oh Kendall has sought revenge on all SORTS of people!" Carlos told him enthusiastically "our sixth grade teacher, Jenny, Barry the bully, Jenny, Norman the janitor, JENNY…"

"That Jenny girl seems to spend a lot of time with the pointy end of the revenge stick," Logan winced and Carlos shrugged.

"It's not actually HER fault… she has bad luck."

"How bad?" James asked suspiciously.

"She once set my eyebrows on fire in science class," Kendall put his hand to the phone to muffle what he was saying. "We were learning how to draw ven- diagrams."

"I'm noticing a pattern about your stories, fire and your eyebrows" James snorted and Kendall flipped him off before returning to his call.

"He's not aloud to be mean to Jenny anymore though," Carlos, told them "since she is kind of the reason I even auditioned."

"Really?" Logan laughed, "Why haven't I heard this story?"

"It's a good one too," Carlos, confirmed "it started when my dad threw me and Kendall in the clink."

"The clink?" James repeated in confusion.

"He means jail," Logan told him and James 'ohhhed' in comprehension.

"Are you two going to interrupt me all the way through this story?" Carlos asked pointedly and Logan and James shared a look before nodding with matching cheekily smiles on their faces.

"Awesome" Carlos said in a deadpan tone, he continued after a beat "anyway we were in jail-"

"Why?" James asked in a whiny tone that was reminiscent of a five year old.

"BECAUSE we replaced all the hair dye in Joe's convenience store for different colours- it was anarchy!"

"That's not very nice," Logan told him and Carlos shot him a glare.

"It wasn't SUPPOSED to be nice; it was SUPPOSED to be funny!" He told him and Logan gave him a sad disapproving shake of the head.

"ANYWAY we got caught so we were in the cell and then my dad comes in-"

"Hey Carlos?" James interrupts.

"WHAT?"

James shrinks back "um- isn't this where you wanted to take us?" he pointed at the school.

"Yeah it is. Awesome- Kendall get off the phone we're here!"

******BTR******

"Your school has it's own ice rink?" Logan exclaimed and James exclaimed his surprise by simply gaping at the rink in disbelief.

"Doesn't everybody's?" Carlos asked as he laced up his skates.

"Our OLD school" Kendall corrected, "don't count out Big Time Rush just yet. I've got something in the works."

"I'm sure it's terribly illegal," Logan rolled his eyes.

"Actually-" Logan covered Kendall's mouth when he started to explain.

"Don't tell me… plausible deniability and all that."

"Fine" Kendall said with a frown, "though I'm going to need James for this, so his plausible deniability is going to be shot to hell."

"What?" Carlos said sounding offended "why him and not me?! I'm like your go to guy!"

"You totally still are," Kendall wrapped an arm around his best friend and gave him a sharp smile "but I need someone with a body count a little higher than just one- no offence."

"Why would I take offence?!" Carlos squeaked and shrugged Kendall off "I WAS right about James being a serial killer, oh God-"

"He means girls- like kissing them," Logan told Carlos soothingly and placed his hand on his back. "This'll be great- if James saves the day with his sluttiness, he'll think it's all justified!"

"Hey!" James made a swipe at Logan and Logan was a little slow to dodge and caught his fingertips on his face.

"Ah! So NOT cool dude!"

"Baby," Kendall snickered and grabbed Logan's face to inspect it. "If you're going to whine about a little face scratching how are you going to handle it when we play hockey?"

"I NEVER agreed-"

"LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Kendall yelled, one finger in his ear and the other gripped Logan's shirt like a vice and was dragging him closer to the rink.

"Wait Kendall- gah! I do NOT consent to this! Let go of me!"

This caught the attention of a few boys skating on the ice who all stopped abruptly to gawk.

"Kendall Knight?"

One of the boy's skated over so fast it might be criminal, and then actually proceeded to run the rest of the way in the skates. Logan wasn't aware people could actually run in skates but apparently it was possible.

"What in the hell are you doing here?"

"Just chillin'" Kendall said both awkward and cool at the same time, his face impassive but his weight shifted back and forth between his legs.

The boy hit him hard on the arm and the other boys made their way over too. "SERIOUSLY?! You punk out as captain halfway through the season and take our best player with you and your just 'CHILLIN?' are you serious?"

"I was our best player" Kendall shot back with a vicious kind of smile, "but I'm sure you did fine without us, did Edgar usurp power in my absence?"

"Duh," the guy rolled his eyes and spotted Carlos past them and ran to sweep the smaller boy into a hug.

"Typical" Kendall rolled his eyes, "I get all the yelling and Carlos gets the hugs. Logan, am I not huggable?"

"Not in the slightest," Logan told him brightly as he tried to ease Kendall's fingers that were still gripping his shirt tightly. "Also, this Edgar person wouldn't have 'usurped' power as you put it, since you left with no notice he would have simply come in to power. Have you not been reading my word a day calendar?"

"Religiously," Kendall stated dryly. "Also you've never even met Edgar, Edgar doesn't come into ANYTHING- simply rips things from your cold dead fingers!"

The other boys were staring at Kendall agape and Kendall gave them a small wave and a smile.

"Why are they all staring at you like that?" James asked in a worried tone, walking up to them and breaking the grasp of Kendall's hold on Logan's shirt.

Kendall shrugged and Carlos walked up to them, his arm still slung around the hockey guy who had approached them. "They're just not used to seeing Kendall being this nice."

"He didn't seem that nice to that Edgar guy," Logan pointed out.

"Girl," Carlos corrected mindlessly "I wasn't talking about that- although he wasn't as mean to Edgar than usual. I was talking about how he was talking to you. He isn't usually jokey or nice to anyone that's not me." Carlos grinned widely and Kendall huffed in annoyance.

"I'm NICE" he said pointedly and looked down in surprise at his hand, realising he didn't have Logan in his grip and his shorter friend had taken refuge behind James who reverted to his usual over protective stance. Kendall had been worried about reversion of character once they were back in Minnesota, but he had been worried about himself, not James. James hadn't even grown up in Minnesota and he was already acting like the boy he had been three months ago.

"Not to the hockey team you aren't," a girl with long black hair walked up to them. She took in notice of the two extra boys and extended her hand "hi, I'm Allison Edgar- acting hockey captain."

"Just… hockey captain Edgar," Kendall said grudgingly "I'm not here to take your spot… hopefully we're not even staying. More visiting really while we sort some stuff out." The team let out a sigh of relief and Kendall glared "I am NOT that much of a hard ass."

"Sure you are," James laughed "don't worry we like you anyway."

"Aw James, you like Kendall," Logan jeered and James glared.

"This is James and Logan," Carlos told the group "they're the other half of our band."

"What instruments do you play?" A boy asked curiously and all eyes flicked to them.

"Wha-?" Logan started; rubbing the back of his head while James assessed the situation frighteningly quick. He could understand the unwillingness Kendall might feel to share to his hockey friends that he left mid-season to form a boy band.

"I share lead vocals with Kendall," James said smoothly because that's technically not a lie "and I play the drums and guitar when it's called for. Logan plays the piano and trumpet… not that we EVER plan to let him play it in a song."

This successfully sidetracked everyone as Logan launched into a well worn rant about the merits of a trumpet in a pop/rock genre and James eventually steered him off to the store room presumably to find skates.

"They're cute," Edgar cocked her head and grinned like a shark that gave Kendall the full body shudders.

"Don't even think about it Edgar" he warned, "If you break one of my band mates we will have words."

******BTR******

James and Logan returned with borrowed skates from somewhere. Kendall is of the understanding that James may have literally charmed them off some venerable freshmen who staggered out glazed and shoeless after them.

Logan is on the phone and seemed to be in an argument with someone, which seemed a little odd. Kendall wasn't aware Logan actually HAD catty, vicious arguments with anyone on the phone, but he seemed to be making an exception for the aspiring actress/singer/whatever Jo Taylor.

Or as Kendall liked to refer to her; the future Mrs. Jo Knight. Or maybe she'll be Mrs. Jo Taylor and he'll be Mr. Kendall Taylor. He could be a modern man about this. Perhaps they'll hyphenate or maybe she'll want to keep her last name when she's working. He's amendable either way.

James steals the phone off Logan and puts the freshmen between him and begins to talk very quickly. "Ignore him Jo, this is a great opportunity! You should totally audition; even if teen supernatural shows aren't exactly in your wheel house it's a great way to get exposure! Plus they're only looking for a four episode deal so it's not like you'll be locked into some huge contract. Singing will still be there after!"

"New Town High is a train wreck of writing," Logan called and James covers the phone so he can snipe at his friend.

"It's being retooled- they've practically recast everyone for season two. Except that one guy you thought was a decent enough actor-"

"Jett Stentson," Jo's voice calls just loud enough to be heard. James looked up and realized that everyone was looking at them "you know what," he tells Jo "I'll have you're OTHER fake boyfriend call you back in a bit."

Logan flipped him off and James snickered.

"Oh and don't listen to him… he thinks TRUMPET music should be part of our wheelhouse- I know right! What a moron."

He hung up the phone and threw it at Logan who caught it and nicked a helmet off one of Kendall's former teammates and ditched it at him.

"You're a tool. You know that right?"

"You love me anyway," James said confidently and dodged when Logan started stripping another player and pelting equipment at him. The player in question Josh Hartmen, doesn't seem to particularly mind, but then again Kendall always had his suspicions about him and his predilections.

"Come on," Carlos broke up the fight, something he seemed way more practiced to than Kendall. Who usually just egged them on when the two boys occasionally got into their pissy little fights. He grabbed Logan's arm, "Kendall's only be waiting for FOREVER to teach you how to play hockey."

"No way" Logan complained, "he hasn't budged on the whole football thing!"

"That's because football is a crime against humanity," Kendall said stubbornly and grabbed at James in a similar manner Carlos had to Logan and steered James to the rink. "Come on James, I'm dying to see you try and play hockey."

James gripped Kendall's wrist and his eyes seemed wide with panic, "um- be careful okay? Logan's not actually very good with ice and-"

He was interrupted by the sound of Logan taking one step on the ice and falling flat on his face.

"He's going to injure himself?" Kendall finished white faced and Logan tried to stand up and smacked hard on the ice again.

"yyyyyyyeeeeeaaaaahhhh… does it make me a horrible person that I'm kind of glad he's shit at this? It's nice to see him be shit at something."

"Oh yeah Diamond? Lets see how your ass does on the ice" Logan jeered, the effect ruined somewhat by the death grip he had to Carlos' arm.

******BTR******

James was excellent at skating and practically wiped the floor with half of the hockey team because there is no justice in the world.

None at all.

Carlos decided to NOT tell Kendall that he had actually taught James how to play hockey and while he was naturally talented at it that was in no way his first time on the ice. Because it was kind of amusing how red Kendall's face was.

Kendall must have known something was up though because he banished Carlos and James back to Carlos' house and took a severely bruised Logan back to his place as he tried to stop the bleeding from where he had caught himself with the wrong end of an ice skate.

They walked into Kendall's house and Kendall immediately knew something was wrong. It was like he was precognitive or had the force or something because something was definitely not right here.

"Kendall!"

Something lunged and tackled him to the ground and by something he meant 55 kilos of small blonde girl.

His mum had NEVER said she was renting her house out to the Tinklers! Or Kendall would have chained himself to 2J and become an unmovable force. This might be the most realistic and most horrifying nightmare he'd ever been in. Excluding that time with the clowns that shot rainbow laser beams from their eyes- that was a truly horrifying dream that haunted him for a month when he was eight when his mum thought he was old enough to go to the circus.

He hadn't been.

The memory haunted him to this day.

"Um… hi Jenny," he squeaked and she took a step back and beamed at him.

"Oh my God it is like so good to see you Kendall… I have your room now and you just have to see what I've done with it! Do you like unicorns? Because it's sort of a theme I'm going for and oh I wouldn't worry about the scorch marks I'm sure you can just paint over them-"

She grabbed Kendall's hand and tugged only to trip on the rug sending her down and taking Kendall down with her. Kendall gripped Logan because if he was going down he was taking Logan with him. He hadn't done anything, but Kendall liked company in misery.

"Oh sorry- Oh my GOD! Did I do that do your face?! I am so sorry!"

Kendall turned to Jenny fussing over Logan's preexisting injury- though it had been torn a bit on impact and was now bleeding EVERYWHERE.

"Oh no that's… I mean really it's-" Logan stuttered as Jenny dragged him off.

Kendall made a halfhearted hand gesture to Logan as he disappeared into the kitchen and shrugged. Now they would have to find someone to replace Logan if Jenny inadvertently killed him.

Oh well… every man for himself.

He turned in the direction of the granny flat at frightening speed.

His mother was the worst un-packer in the history of ever. He didn't need a refresher because a large sum of their stuff had still been in boxes when they had to pack up and leave the Palmwoods but this was encroaching on ridiculous.

She clearly wasn't even trying anymore.

"Are you making a maze out of boxes?" Kendall asked curiously as he watched his little sister rearrange the full boxes and stack them on top of one another in a mostly crude design of a maze.

"I'm calling it my box labyrinth," she said proudly. "Gotta keep myself busy until you con your way back in California- and God knows I'm not going to try and talk to people my own age."

"Fair enough" he shrugged, sitting on one of the bubble wrapped chairs, which made a satisfying popping sound. "What if I have resigned to myself that the dream is over and have decided to settle back into Minnesotan life?"

"You have never resigned yourself to anything in your life," Katie said unconcerned and readjusted one of the boxes to sit a little straighter. "I don't see you starting now… plus Logan and James aren't in Minnesota," she looked up and it felt like someone had forcibly ripped something from him. Something he desperately didn't want to part with.

"Yeah," he managed to say quietly.

"Danger boy rang while you were out," she added. "You needed to meet up with them tomorrow, they know about the plan and are willing to help."

"I'm going to be in Wisconsin tomorrow."

"So are they," Katie told him with a grin and got up and patted him on the head "you didn't think I was just going to let YOU handle this?" she asked incredulously "I don't want to live my prepubescent years in Minnesota anymore than you do!"

"I'm not prepubescent," he snapped but lifted her up and swung her around, he knocked over several boxes but nobody commented on it. "Thanks little sister."

"Eh- that's what I'm here for," she grinned.

******BTR******

Carlos' house was just as picturesque on the inside as it was on the outside, what with it's walls lined with family photos carefully documenting growth, and it's charming wall of growth markings and a hundred other little signs that children had grown up there.

James' house was all black and white, sleek and cold. At least it was at the moment. His mum had an interior decorator on retainer and changed the entirety of the house every few years, almost as if to erase the time spent there. Not that his mum actually spent any time there. Not that James did either.

Logan's house wasn't homey the way Carlos' was but his mother had made a few feeble attempts of mothering over the years which resonated through the house, and Logan filled empty spaces with his own personal touches.

"Your house is disgustingly perfect," James told Carlos seriously and Mrs Garcia made a small noise of distress from the kitchen. The woman had ears like a hawk… if hawks could hear well. COULD hawks hear well? That was something he might have to look up, and by that he meant have Logan look up for him.

"He means that it in a good way" Carlos called back, "James lives in a creepy marble mansion."

"No" James said immediately, "No I don't." He called out to Mrs. Garcia "I mean I did mean it in a good way but my house is a house. It's not a mansion- it's only two stories. Who told you that anyway?" he wheeled on Carlos suspiciously "did Logan tell you that?!"

"He said you have like five stories."

"Three of them are underground- ergo house, if you build up it's a mansion and there is a thing with housing height in my neighbourhood so it's definitely a house." James said stubbornly, "and mum's interior designer redecorated so I don't even think its marble anymore! Mum said Julia has this whole black and white thing going on at the moment."

"Does she decorate your room as well?" Mrs. Garcia stuck her head into the room again curiously, "when I redecorated the house my husband wouldn't let me touch the den- he said that it was sacred."

"Yeah," James rubbed the back of his head "but I keep all the things I care about at Logan's anyway… so it doesn't bother me. It makes it a great place to take girls- you know if I ever let girls into my room. Which I don't."

Mrs. Garcia snorted "honey with a face like yours- I'd be more concerned if you WEREN'T entertaining 'guests' in your room. Though there was a heated debate between my husband and Vince over whether you entertained boys or girls." She wiggled her eyebrows and James flushed a dark red and muttered incoherently for a second to himself.

"Mmmmmmmmuuuuum" Carlos whined, "oh my God you are so embarrassing- you wonder why Kendall was the only guy to stay friends with me! You scare them and they don't want to come back."

"Oh sweetie if they can't stand a little good natured ribbing they were never going to be cut out as a friend of YOURS anyway. Especially not since you and Kendall became thick as thieves. God love him, but that boy does not grasp tact very well."

James recovered quickly and gave Mrs. Garcia a joking smirk, sliding up do her and taking her hand. "I prefer girls- or should I say women." He wiggled his eyebrows and gave her a flourished kiss on her hand, and she giggled when James ended up having to wipe flour from his lips.

"I was making cookies," she explained and offered part of her apron for him to wipe his hands on.

"DUDE!" Carlos said horrified "are you hitting on my mum?!"

"pppssh no," James said and his eyes followed to the kitchen where Mrs. Garcia was making cookies again. "Trust me if I was hitting on her- you'd know."

"You're gross," Carlos made a face.

"Thank you" James grinned, "now lets help your mum make cookies" and he shot off into the kitchen.

"Get back here Diamond! You stay away from my mother!"

******BTR******

"What happened to you?" James exclaimed running up to Logan and trying to fix the poorly wrapped bandage. He shot Kendall a nasty look as he trailed behind Logan, the blonde had enough sense to look properly ashamed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Jenny got him," Kendall said like it explained everything, Carlos winced in understanding. So maybe it did explain everything- just not to James. Who was the only person who mattered, so that clearly didn't explain anything at all.

"Wait… Jenny? You hook up? You dog," James nudged Logan. The shorter boy winced and waved James' fussing hands from his head.

"Not me," then a smirk crossed his face. "Though that Jenny girl DID spend a lot of time in Kendall's room… I texted Jo about it."

"WHAT?!" Kendall screeched, a sound only heard by howler monkeys and dogs.

"I HAD to Kendall," Logan explained like he was being perfectly reasonable and not in fact, ruining Kendall's life at all. "She's my fake girlfriend, it's important for our fake relationship that we communicate properly."

"Couldn't you just you know… fake it?" James snickered and Kendall gestured wildly at the taller boy.

"EXACTLY!"

"Opps" Logan shrugged in mock remorse "I guess I'll know for next time." Logan's bitchface reared it's ugly head, "and I'll guess you'll know for next time not to leave me alone with that human wrecking ball."

"Oooh burn" Carlos jeered, because he wasn't going to give Kendall sympathy if he left Logan alone with Jenny the first time they met. "Hey… why has Jenny been in your room… oh gross dude how would you even… I mean she'd probably end up knocking you out before you even got to second base!"

"Oh THANK YOU for that mental image Carlos," Kendall looked horrified and seemed to be trying to scrub an image from his head. "There is not enough brain bleach in the WORLD!"

"Her family has been renting out their house" Logan explained to Carlos. "Jenny took Kendall's room and she painted deformed unicorns and surprisingly good butterflies all over the walls. It was amazing."

"Really?!" Carlos asked with undisguised joy on his features.

Logan chucked him his phone "I took pictures."

"You're the best," Carlos told him sincerely.

Mrs. Knight walked up to them, "okay boys- the bus is about to leave. Do you have your tickets?"

The four boys held up their tickets without looking away from their previous focuses and Mrs. Knight sighed. "Well come here then- I want a hug good bye."

James got to her first almost knocked her over, with Logan following quickly behind, encasing her from either side. Once they released her Carlos and Kendall gave her a much more subdued hug.

"I'm sure I'll see you boys soon," Mrs. Knight said with the utmost confidence.

"Mum?" Kendall questioned; "what do you know?"

"Oh look your bus is leaving," she hurried them to the front of the bus "love you boys, have fun." She ushered them up the stairs and the door shut after them. Kendall shuffled to his seat after he handed his ticket over to the grumpy bus driver.

"Oh she's up to something."

"She's a Knight isn't she?" James shrugged and fell into the seat behind him, "I thought that was like compulsory."


End file.
